My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Sign Post

Better watch out for this bakery, henchpersons:

I hear they'll hang you out to dry.


"An O you co-A WIN... " uh, some assorted scribbles.

Hey, uh, guys?


What's that tell you?

Now, tell me what the mystery blob with the vaguely butterfly-like thing on it is supposed to be, and we'll call it even.

The bakers wielding the pastry bags aren't the only culprits, though:

I've seen a lot of these cakes. They live up to their name.

Aw, now why is "home made" in quotes? From that gooey ooze dripping out the bottom I can tell it's JUST like "home made." (Love you, Mom!)


Personally I don't see how you can use a "thank you," no matter WHICH underwear it might belong to.

(Give it a minute.)

(Theeere it is.)

Hey, Melissa P., Jennifer D., April G., Dani, Kelsey H., & Claire M., there's your sign.

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Reader Comments (104)

That big cookie with the butterfly thing reminded me of this

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNBB

If you knew the Ben Lomand area of Scotts Valley, it would be all very clear. The old hippies that live there are well... are somewhat... And, don't ask what is in the chocolate. Thanks again, CW. I love you. Norine

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

you just crack me up.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbHumor

I say again, you guys just crack me up.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbHumor

Ack! The Oblivious cake came from my home town market! (I don't live there anymore...)

Nope... nothing witty to add to that.

WV: rumpent: the regret that comes from eating that last piece of alcohol-soaked fruitcake.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternaadhira

I read "Tell us how we are doing and you can win $2 Poo Doo"

I don't think I want to win.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanNZ

Okay, now I completely agree with Barn that the brown cookie blob is a money bag. The top part just isn't colored in like the main part.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBin

In defense of the "Home Made" banana bread, you can see that the ingredients are just "sugar, flour, banana, egg, butter." So perhaps it is like banana bread Mom would make...just not well packaged. Also, I think the "gooey ooze" is just batter that dripped on the edge before baking.

The "in bold letters" is hilarious! I guess they are hiring cake wreckers to type nutrition labels now?

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTyler

That "alert:bold" reminds me of my late dog's pedigree. This was the 1970's when you used carbon paper for duplicates. He had a looong, fine name, that ended with "Asmar Bintie Carbon Copy". *lol*

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

A good way to get a yeast infection...

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTroy W

I also think the butterfly blob on the very-poorly-written-on cookie is a hat of some sort--but if it IS a leprechaun hat, what have they done with him? Just his hat and a really ugly bag? (And it looks like you can win "2,000 down" to me--I have bought too many cars in my life, I guess.)

It really did take me a while to think about why thongs OR thong's were OR was being discussed. Who could think that there was an H anywhere in the word? My mental picture kept flickering back and forth between the shoes and the underwear--not pretty in any case.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCloudy

I showed my roommate the last photo and she said, "Please use the thongs to pick out your buns!" I love puns.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheresa

The butterfly blob is totally a money bag. Even I don't want to win it! Not for $20, $200, or $2000!!

Thongs - man, that cracked me up!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRainyday

I'd say the wacky cookie cake is a leprechaun's cauldron (pot of gold) with a leprechaun's hat perched on the side.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not sure why, but on the cookie cake I'm seeing a pot of gold (the brown/black blob) with a leprechaun hat on top (the "butterfly")... see it? No? Oh well. Loved the post today, anyway. My thongs' Thank Yous are VERY usable :)

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllyBally

i think the blob-butterfly-thing is supposed to be a phone..... you know, so you can call and tell them how they're doing.... maybe....

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeb C.

I seriously think it's a turkey, god help us all!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennyLLC

I'm not sure what it says about my mental state, but I thought it was fairly obvious that the brown cookie blob was a money bag, the kind that cartoon bank robbers would gleefully abscond with. I thought the caption was just a joke, because while it was poorly drawn, it was obviously a money bag.

Then I read the comments and discovered I must have the brain of a wreckerator, because it was most decidedly not obvious to the population at large that it was a money bag.

I think I need therapy now.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Thomans

On the feedback cake.... I see the mushroom from mario brothers, no?

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one should definitely be cross-listed on Apostrophe Abuse or Apostrophe Catastrophes!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope Coleen feels no pressure being told when her deadline is to sell the Chocolate Oblivious cake by. It's all about the commission, Coleen!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCindi

I think the blob on top of the $ is actually supposed to be the top of a money bag. But, if they colored (frosted) it, they would lose all manner of detail. And we can see how important details are to this particular wrecker.

Totally loved the "give it a minute" because I had to do just that. Do you have a tiny camera inside your computer that allows you to see just how we will react? Hysterical!!!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

Thank you! There's nothing more that I hate than the wrong use of apostrophes (they don't indicate plurals, people, they mean possession!), except possibly for spelling "tongs" as "thongs" (yecch, that image). And don't you love that no one knows simple definitions anymore? Y shd we? No 1 cares anymr.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy T.

The butterfly/cookie thing is a moneybag. See the strap around the top and the moth-eaten edges to the bag. Unfortunately, they didn't color the top of the bag the same as they did the bulk of the bag.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

The "Tell us how we're doing" cookie is at Paradise Bakery in the C Terminal at Denver's airport.. I did submit that one a while back, actually hated to do it since I just LOVE Paradise Bakery, but just couldn't believe that they had that cookie sitting there in all of its inglorious misery. :)

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergoblue562

Glad to see the cake people are upfront about the lack of Vitamin A in their baked goods

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

@ John's jock strap - nice.

And Troy, these obviously aren't kosher buns.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

Thong's ... I should point out that, in Australia, thongs are footwear (America calls them flip-flops, I think).

Footwear vs underwear ... I'd say serving food with either (clean or otherwise) is rather high on the 'ick factor' scale.

Definitely apostrophe abuse though.

Thanks for the laugh.

Sydney, Australia.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

it's a hand waving! :) Thanks for the laughter.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

I think I'm going to have to pay more attention to the things Ibuy from now on.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

OK, I saw a money bag, so I guess I need therapy too :) Loved your feedback about them being on CW!

But, am I the only one who read about the 3" and snickered that yup, oblivion is just the half of it? (pun intended) Maybe my mind is just too naughty ;)

So the descendents of the headstone carver also went into ingredients writing, and not just cake decorating?

@Thongs... thanks for the laugh followed by the howl with laughter when I got the rest of the joke (yup, about a full minute there).

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I used to live in Ben Lomand, CA, a hippie community in the mountains above Santa Cruz. Believe me, PLENTY of people there regularly partake of Chocolate Oblivious cake.

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSukey

Warning signs?

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh I have to go take a picture of the wall in my local grocery store. Where the Donuts are it says "Don ts" and they are right... don't buy them!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

ugh! the wrong usage of apostrophes is one of my pet peeves!!!

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercynthia

I don't know what's funnier: the "Alert in bold letters" or the "*sigh*" after it!

seriously, need to pee BEFORE I read Cake Wrecks...

-Barbara Anne

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

P.S. the soundtrack in my head will be stuck on REPEAT with Cisco's "Thong Song" for the rest of the night.

-Barbara Anne

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ALERT: IN BOLD LETTERS: Great post. My thong said "thank you," and, yes, it was the one I used to pick up the bread.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Let me see those to-o-ongs
Baby, those tong t-tong tong tongs
I like it when the cake goes
Baby, make your cookie go-o-o-o
Those tong t-tong tong tongs

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

Ok, I see the money bag now (though for a while there I thought I was going to have to take some really big chocolate chip cookies to the EPCOT shelter).

So anyone who tells them how they're doing can win $2,000 dollars. Who decides the winner -- the Department of Redundancy Department?

A bakery in an airport -- great idea. I could see where some comfort food might come in handy while contemplating the prospect of an exam more thorough than that given by most doctors.

'Bob Engvall' must be Bill's brother -- evidently, they both do "Here's Your Sign". ;-)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

They would have to pay me $2,000 just to eat that horrid cookie cake thing. Lol maybe that was why they offered to pay said "winner". Scary.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

This whole post just made me laugh so hard. XD

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEliza A.

Looking at the ingredient list of the Bold Letters photo, I think that might have been a key. As in, bolded ingredients contain wheat/soy. Still, fabulously stupid typo :)

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These cakes look really good. They're making me soooo hungry!

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbest protein shake

Oh my, but that last one REALLY got me. (Especially since I sing in the church choir and am forever mis-singing "throng" - which is in lots of Easter songs - as "thong". Now I'll really laugh when I screw that up next time.)

And my guess in the "how we are doing" cake is a turkey. What do I win?

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

The blob is obviously a REALLY BIG snail poop. With the snail it came from on top.

(On first glance I sort of conflated it with the Maria's Laundromat pic, and thus saw a thing that maybe could have been a Maria-like cartoony person -- the blob is her skirt, the snail head is an outstretched arm, her face is above it -- with a chip for an eye no less! -- and she's wearing a hat, and the two things that I eventually realized were part of the stand are feet. She is, idk, dancing, and obviously very pregnant to boot.)

...and obviously the yellow illegible writing stuff is actually "$2,000 bill", in that they charge you $2k to tell them how they're doing. It's a fundraiser, you see.

December 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterisabeau

Just want to say thatthat is the best, funniest and most comprehensive Starwarts story I have ever heard! Love, love, loved it!

December 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've heard of bakeries that will take you to the cleaners, but this is ridiculous.

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, I have the origin story of "The Cake is a Lie." It's not from a movie. It's not really suitable to write here, except, maybe, with those, uh, "rocket," cakes.

Monique might like that.

December 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Delaney

Do you know Lynne Truss by any chance? I think you might be long-lost relatives! (Seriously though, if you haven't read her books you should. You'd love them!)

December 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

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