My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Little Too Much Ginger, Perhaps

Some people collect stamps, or art cards, or limited edition laser-etched Animaniac propeller beanies*.

I collect photos of ridiculously decorated gingerbread men.

* Actually I'm just hoping this is true, because I'd love to see one.

I started when I realized a lot of bakeries sell gingerbread cookies year-round, and so try to decorate them to go with all the different holidays. Which gets, shall we say, a little silly:

Get me an old priest and a young priest...

Oh, and a glass of milk.

I'd look alarmed, too, if someone stole my torso and left my bloody limbs scattered around. [shudder]

And a personal favorite:

The guy on the right looks like he just had an alien chest-burster episode, only with a giant leprechaun.

Which, you must admit, is kind of awesome.

No, Mr. Scary Clown Man, actually, I do *not* want your sprinkles. Thank you.


Then be a dear and glue it to a cookie, won't you?


'Course, the best designs are usually the ones that ignore the "man" shape altogether:

Not exactly what I had in mind when I asked for "Catwoman."

Ok, this is getting ridiculous.

Really ridiculous.

No, really REALLY ridiculous.

Death by poodle.

(Also, $2.19 for that? Really?)

Not sure what these blue things are, but boy are they appetizing!


Just kidding.

Still, I ask you: what's wrong with the time-honored, classic gingerbread man design?


Actually, this one is pretty awesome, too.

But this - THIS - on the other hand:

This must be stopped.

Think of the hippos.

L.G., Jas D., Ginger G. (yes, really. Heheh.), Leah O., Sean R., Lauren A., Kim, John D., M.L.W., & Eyal, thanks for contributing to my collection! Now I just need a Valentines' one. (Hint hint.)

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Reader Comments (132)

Is that clown supposed to have boobs?

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Oh, wow! I had no idea that poor, innocent gingerbread men cookies were being defiled by such an amazing array of frostings.

The "classic" designs are my favorites, of course (cuz who doesn't love biting off a head or limb and imagining [or making] a cry of pain?); however, I must confess that I rather like that green alligator/crocodile one that's using the gingerbread man as his own personal lily pad....

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had no idea gingerbread makes an appearance in stores all year long. Doesn't in my neck of the woods (and I'm SO GLAD if this is the result).

I can't tell if the clown is a man or has boobs and SOMETHING else???

Red and Blue things....crabs and head lice?

Sharon's Edible Art

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

They now sell cookie cutters of the gingerbread man with no head, and bite marks in the body. That's SO WRONG." rel="nofollow"> Maimed Gingerbread Men

Sharon's Edible Art

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

This reminds me of when my three boys were little and would run their matchbox cars over the gingerbread men to make them look like road kill. I think it is a guy thing. I envied moms of girls.

these gingerbread men are like nothing I have ever seen. wow

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Hey Bob Nazi- I see boobs too! Scary clown man is scary clown Ma'am!!!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

It's no wonder why they keep running away...

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

I am so making those part-eaten gingerbread men for our Christmas party! I LOVE them.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

The last one has me scratching my head a bit. I see the hippo, and the tiger, and the dog. But what's with the blonde-haired purple-bearded pink-faced ladies and is that one on the right Spiderman?? He's so sneaky...

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have not laughed this much in ages. It's all so surreal and hilarious. What makes me uncomfortable is that someone actually thought these were good, creative ideas. *shudder*

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzG

I think that poodle one is depicting something that's illegal in, well, ALL of the states of the U.S.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermarybindc

Although it in no way belongs on a gingerbread man, the goldfish is adorable!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Oh my goodness... I just found our gingerbread cookie idea for the year! I can't wait to put the screaming gingerbread figures on the table Christmas Eve LOL

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen in Canada

I want an Animaniacs propeller beanie!!!!!!!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

The Tooth Monster is my favorite. I work for dentists, and they would love it!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Hahaha. I love the broken gingerbread men. And the monster one below them.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I agree with Sheri, the half-eaten gingerbread men are now a requirement for any holiday party!

And does anyone else think the blue sharks are funny because it looks like they are using corpses of gingerbread men as surf boards?

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlma

LOL I kept thinking of Gingy from Shrek! His infamous "Not the gumdrop buttons" line and having his legs "stitched" back together! *snicker*

wv: nessequ: It's not nessequ to make gingerbread men all year long.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

OK, now having gingerbread all year is one, thing, and decorating it for the various holidays, sure. But... do they only have one cookie cutter? Is there some rule I'm unaware of that says that gingerbread cookies must be in the shape of a person? If you want to make a Halloween black cat cookie, why not just use a cat-shaped cutter? It's all very strange.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkingshearte

Are these being marketed as Transformer Gingerbread Men, or the Amazing Morphing 'Man? If so, I've missed out and need to start baking some right away. I can tell they are going to fly right off the shelves this Christmas.

Sharon's Edible Art

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Love the partially eaten gingerbread men!

Have you seen the" rel="nofollow">zombies? Or the" rel="nofollow">Dr. House one? I also like the" rel="nofollow">gingerbread skeletons for Halloween!

(Last one is shameless link to my own blog, but notice I DID use the correct comment code!)

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Sharon beat me to the gingerbread cookie cutter punch. They're going to be a central part of my family's gingerbread house this holiday season... :D (Along with a cute Victorian city, destroyed by giant gingerbread men... which is really tame compared to last year's brain, or the derailed train and dead cow from the year before that...)

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoseinBloom

I can't believe there are so many with such bad ideas. And we can't let the kids see these. It's hard enough trying to convince them to put on the buttons. They don't need any more options.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaryl

I'm with the Boob Nazi, that scary clown cookie has some big red scary nipples. I WILL have nightmares!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

It's no wonder The Doctor always checks to see if he has been gingered after each regeneration.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwesticles

Humm, do you think the last one is a sprinkle approach to the dreaded "jazz hands?"

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoxie

I agree with what someone else said, you have NO other cookie cutters out there? None whatsoever?

And that clown gingerbread man/woman will haunt my dreams tonight

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Is it just me or does that poodle have 6 legs. Death by giant poodle bug?

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanel

The Gingerbread Monster is oozing awesome!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I see I'm not the only one that loves the partially eaten gingerbread men! I guess that means I'm not THAT wrong!! lol But, yeah, the others are ridiculous! I wonder if anybody actually BUYS these things???

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjankie98

I love how the leprechaun and the pot of gold need to be formally identified as gingerbread cookies...

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ze clown is not a scary spider. Ze clown will not tie me up and srow me in ze basement.

...#4 begs to differ.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually have the *ABC Gingerbread cookies (* Already Been Chewed). Much hilarity around the holidays when it comes time to decorate the cookies.

I'd send pictures but I think my parents packed them up with their stuff when all of us moved out at the same time.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatjaMouse

Well if you REALLY want valentine's gingerbread people, there are some hilarious naughty gingerbread couples cookies out there!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWild Cakes

I have a set of the bitten cookie cutters! In honor of the year we asked my suspiciously quiet 2-year-old son, "Are you sneaking Christmas cookies?" "Not yet . . ." But if we had decorated them like some of these (ack--that clown!) it probably would have scarred him for life.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Okay...the last one? I know Jerry Garcia was a bit tubby in his later years, but putting him alongside hippos for comparison is just cruel. The wreckerator DOES get props for the lollipop guitars, tho.

WV: consing. Yes, Jerry, you "con" sing well.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Have you seen the Ninjabread Men at Fred & Friends? They are awesome!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Am I the only dirty minded person who thinks that the clown gingerbread man looks like he has.....hehehe, *whispers* boobies! Ohhh I actually said it, *giggle giggle*

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMamakitty1978

Heheh, I like a lot of things.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Per the poor gingerbread men with missing limbs, now you can buy cookie cutters that make the missing piece seem slightly more intentional:

They're called ABC* cookie cutters...the * is to inform you that ABC stands for "Already Been Chewed"

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the hippo is the least offending item on that tray. Just MHO.

I agree that it's 'Miss' Scary Clown. Um, red... um...

Totally LOL (and scared my son) when I saw the death by poodle!

I'm not sure what some of those blue things are. Any clues? Please, y'know, blues clues?

Awesome partially eaten and decorated to reflect! I'll have to try those. They'll go over big with the family. (maybe someone was trying to sell the broken ones, too?) Kind of like the bunnies at Easter -- ears or tail first?

NOW I'm in the mood to do some baking!! (my family thanks you)

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

The clown wants you to have his Man Sprinkles it seems.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Oh, Jen . . . I cry for the poor gingerbread men with alligators and other random things stuck on top. At least I would if I wasn't laughing so hard. The leprechaun one made me spit out my coffee. Add me to the posters who liked the Tooth Monster and the broken ones with sad faces. THERE'S a baker with a clever use of those otherwise unsellable broken cookies!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why would a bakery give a gingerbread man crabs? :P

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

umm, i think the clowns boobs are up a little too high.... lol

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Maria, I got the Ninjabreadmen cutters for my son (6) this year. I am officially the coolest mom EVER.
(Oh, and they are the coolest cookie cutters EVER.)

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh

The 11the wreck from the top is red crabs and blue octupii.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my, what IS that poodle doing to the gingerbread man?!

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbrenda

Just a nice, simple, gingerbre...OH MY GOD whatisthatpoodle DOING to that man?????

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

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