Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar032010

Wreck Spotting

Here at Cake Wrecks we tend to cycle through cakes pretty fast. In fact, if Jen's aunt hadn't been visiting and putting a cramp in her style, I wouldn't have had to wait to post today's Wreck for...uh, nearly a month.

So first, I want you to note that today's Wreck is, and I quote, a "Custom Decoration."

See? Told you.

I would also like you to note that Tres Leches is a milk cake. No fruit, no filling, just milk, cake, and icing.

And that's why this Wreck is a Wreck for women of all ages...


...period.

Alyce C., don't pad the truth, now: Does this bakery's Tres Leches give you wings?

- Related Wreckage: This Is What Happy Tastes Like

« Covering All the Bases | Main | Hold On to Your Hats, Sports Fans... »

Reader Comments (158)

This Cake gives me cramps....

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

To Hmmm,

I didn't see your comment so it wasn't me that blocked it. If you want to resubmit, I'm sure it will be fine. Just no swearing.

john

OMG - Coffee through the nose...had to go back and re-read the intro to fully appreciate the puns...

Jen you ROCK.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I just wanted to share that I typed in "Tres Leches" into the search on allrecipes.com, just to see what goes into this cake (having never tried one myself). Above the results, the page said:

"Did you mean Trees Leeches?"

I think the tree leeches have been bleeding out this cake.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

gross.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

I have made it through poo swirl cakes, but this had ruined my appetite for lunch.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, cramp!!!!

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

I didn't catch any of the puns until I saw the cake, then had to scroll back up to reread. Tee hee.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my first thought, when seeing the picture, was melanoma.

absolutely nothing to do with jen's aunt. unless she just happens to have a melanoma. which would be quite a coincidence.

(living uterus-free for 2 years ... and haven't missed it yet!)

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterterrylee44

Here in Texas, Tres Leches cake does often have fruit on it, and a whipped-cream type icing as well. It's tasty, but (usually) rather soggy.

As for this "Trees Leeches" cake here ... Eewwwwwwwww ...

Excuse me while I go puke up every organ in my body ...

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

WHAT??!! If you're going to put a blood clot on a cake, could you at least center it?

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

EEEEWWWWW
EEWW
EEEWW

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In the wreckerators defense, if they really were going for the maxi pad look they nailed it. The texture on the top of the cake is very reminiscent of the "dri-weave" on most of today's finest feminine products.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPin and Paper

There must not have been any women working in that bakery. That's the only possible reason I can think of that that cake would get into public view.

They could at least have the decency to put it on the day old rack marked as 'oops, we spilled the strawberry filling, but it still tastes good'.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Keep your modern art off my baked goods.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Ewww.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana42

If you stare at it for longer than a few seconds, it looks like the spot is spreading. It's like those portaits with the eyes that "follow" you... *shudder*

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think this is the most disgusting post yet. (hilarious, though.) I need some midol just from reading it.

I'm sure they could have fixed that. Why, oh why did they not?

On the other hand, lucky us. Now we get to understand that cakes have genders, too.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

RosieLB said...

What on earth is that?

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

gross

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OH now isn't that just charming.

*barf*

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I think I just got cramps.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Groan... that's all I have to say.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Ewwww. Just ewwww.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkadyb

That makes me wonder who could possibly fatally wound a cake and then try to sell it.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterECL 1996

That's just so wrong!

Love the suble commentary...

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Woah. Yeah, I am going to vomit.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

When I saw the photo of the label, I assumed the cake was going to have three leeches (god willing, made of frosting!) ontop.

That might have been an improvement.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGloom Raider

First of all, the thought of a kind of cake wholly devoted to the idea of it including milk kills me. Or, at the very least; it gives me bad gas, a sour attitude, and a few extra pimples.

Secondly, you add the implication that I'm going to be crabby, bloated, and crampy for a little over a week and you have a very crabby, gassy, sour Green who has cake but cannot eat it and craves ice cream but can't eat that either.

You, cake, are a vindictive SOB. You hate filled, curdled, implicative confection!

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green

*Looks* *Blinks* *Looks again*

*wanders away, speechless*

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPais

This cake needs to be served along with these french fries:

http://thereifixedit.com/2010/02/28/epic-kludge-photo-logically-absorbs-grease-then/

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHai Dee

Hmm...next time you make your Eye of Sauron cake, maybe choose a different background frosting color?

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Wow everyone's comments have been, spot on. Perhaps some of the puns are not so fresh. But don't let that cramp your style. It’s simply to be expected when the ideas are flowing like... water.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

Seriously? No. No. No.

The puns are awesome, though...

WV: desseds
When desserts die they are desseds - and this one certainly qualifies.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

"Trees Leeches" wins the thread! Also, I think Miranda is spot-on with her theory of icing color spill.

On a somewhat related tangent, the first time I witnessed my partner having a nosebleed, the very first thought that popped into my head was "wow, your blood is SO red!" Apparently he didn't think it was too weird, because we're still dating.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Pretty sure I need to go throw up now.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

I'm with Gary on this one. Here in Texas tres leches often have whipped topping on it. Heck Alton Brown puts whipped cream on his and how can he be wrong? Usually it's got whipped topping and mix of fruit (pineapples, oranges and strawberries or if you ask really nicely blackberries) and nuts on the side for a nice texture contrast. Either way it tastes a lot better than I bet that one does. Do we even know what the red goop is?

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

It IS my time of the month, and this is not the crack I needed! lol
so are we talking lactating (milk) breast cake with nipple or period?

and someone put a chocolate peanut butter cake in the kitchen at work today....grrr....let's just parade my weaknesses right in front of me in my moment of weakness!

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It DOES look like the cake was shot. Poor, forlorn thing...

Now if only it were sitting in a puddle of red ooze as if there were an exit wound. how lovely.

wv: dommi. What kind of dommi made this cake and tried to sell it?

ya know, when people get tattoos that they need to change (like that of an ex-wife's name or something) the tattoo artist has to find a way to embellish the original "design" and make something new. there's NOTHING a baker can do about a red splotch? I mean, put several. A polka dot cake looks better than an "accident..." at least it looks "intentional." and maybe a little happy.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Oh thank you...I'm stuck in the hospital with my baby having RSV, and while I've always been an avid reader...it's really nice to have something to make me laugh, even under the most frustrating of circumstances. :) Abbie

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternelsonturf

That's a really, really bad attempt to correct a bakery screw-up. Period. So to speak. (blinkblink).

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Ever seen the movie "Milk Money"? It reminds me of the flashlight part.... "It looks like a boob".

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs.S.Murray

Ok now I'm off cake for at least a week. Thanks John

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMai

is is wrong on, oh, so many levels!
Ange

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

In the words of my British friends, this cake is "spot-on!"
(NOT!)

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfredjonesiii

Those tres leches cakes are nasty anyway. I don't even need the blood spot to stay away from a cake like that!

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope the bill wasnt padded.

WV: unsary -- that's highly unsa *choke* ary.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I guess they should have accompanied it with http://curate.tumblr.com/post/21137391/vadis-turner-tampon-cake-2007" rel="nofollow">this.

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

REVA! (That's LOL in Tres Leches Spanish!)

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterishtheintrepid

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>