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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr212010

Let Me Continue to Count the Ways

Yesterday I promised you more ridiculous/creative misspellings of the word "birthday."

Which probably has you wondering, "Just how much more ridiculous can it get? It's a simple word! Sure, you might forget a letter, or switch a few up, but that's it, right?"

[shaking head] Oh, ye of little faith.

SHA-POW!!

Does that really say "Happy Birdholq?"

Why yes, yes it does.

And note how the 'q' was added on later, as if that somehow fixed the problem.

Sometimes you can tell just by looking at a cake the exact moment when the decorator got distracted and had to take a break.

Maybe the "p" triggered certain sprinkle cravings, if you catch my drift.

This may not be a huge error, but it's definitely one of the most fun to read out loud. Bipthday. It trips drunkenly off the tongue, don't you think?

Of course, there's the momentary distraction, and then there's this:


I love imagining what happened between the "t" and the "L." Some kind of digestive emergency? A phone order? Or was it just break time?

Speaking of imagination, you'll need yours to decipher this next one:

I'm guessing that's either "Binday" or "Benday."

Regardless, Edgar must be one really colorful character.

This next one isn't so much switching letters around as it is playing word jumble with them:

"Birdthay?" Sounds flighty to me.

Here's one for the 1920's gangster in all of us:

"Boithday" - Now there's an offer you can't refuse.

This is why you don't order a cake when you have a cold:

You know, 'cuz that's how you say it when your nose is stuffed up? Yes? No?

And finally, what could very well be my new favorite (narrowly edging out "epi burf day"):


Happy Barthy.

Not just "Barthy," mind you: it's "Barthy, period." No exclamation points, no dashes: just period. Yeah. Put that little pine branch on your number 4 candle and smoke it.

Bill F., Ashley J., Bev, Teresa V., Cassie P., Hannah W., & Lester H., great job. Period.

- Related Wreckage: Cake Writing 201: Congratulations

Note: For those of you keeping count, that's 18 different misspellings of "birthday" so far. Eighteen. Parents, if you have a new baby in the house, this could even be your yearly checklist. Just sayin'.

« The Day the Spaceship Earth Stood Still | Main | Let Me Count the Ways »

Reader Comments (133)

Barthy hahahahaha wtf!!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Barthy made me think of "barfy." I wonder what you could describe as "barfy."

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

What is all that "stuff" on top of the seventh cake? Looks like leftover pieces from other cakes. Oh, and by the way,

Happy berday to you
Happy berday to you
Happy berday, dear Edgar
Happy berday to you.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Really hilarious -- the commentary is even funnier than the misspellings. Among your very best. Are all of the cake decorators in grocery stores non-English speakers?

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

It looks like "Marry Burdos Edgar" to me. Wonder if she's pretty?

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPoohs Pics

That "happy birsday" sounds like it might be an Oriental person trying to sound it out before its written..LOL

funny stuff Jen! Love this site!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Jen,

I want to thank you for your posts the last two days. I received a Birthday cake order today for Sat. I'm not paying close attention to spelling "Birthday" correctly so I don't embarrass myself on the child's Birthday cake.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I like how they tried to fix "boithday" by writing over it, but not in an obvious way where it looks like "birthday."

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

As far as the "Happy Birsday" one from Paris Baguette goes, I'm assuming that comes from one of their two Koreatown locations here in Los Angeles. (If you click on the picture, the package in the corner has Korean on it.) That makes the misspelling a bit more understandable, I think...

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraliciajoy

Now were these all by people on their first day on the job? Because this is a job where you have to spell that word every day, isn't it?

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWinston

Happy Boithday! That's my new favorite inscription! I live in Jersey. We should adopt that as an official birthday slogan here. Meanwhile, what a happy little mobster cake, with pastel swirls and all. I wonder if there's a file in it for a jailbird recipient? happy birday, too.

Meanwhile, looking at Edgar's cake, all I could think of was, "Mmmm. Cheesecake." telltale score lines and all. And just for the record, cheesecake should not be violated with gel icing. It should have nuts, and chocolate shavings. we take our cheesecake seriously here in Jersey.

Meanwhile, Bipthday and Birsday vie for drunken orders, and Barthy just makes me wonder. Beautiful cake, except for the frozen feather, but who is this decorator? or, who is Barthy?

and finally, Birdthay. You know they probably charged at least $6 for that SLICE of cake seeing that it was a birthday dessert at a restaurant. Now we have to accuse the artistic pastry chefs of not being able to spell. But what a double exclamation point enthusiasm and a lovely G clef! I love how they give you so much whipped cream to disguise the fact that is one SKINNY piece of cheesecake.

wv. uptaphi. the non-English language some of these decorators apparently speak judging by their spelling difficulties.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

All I can say is what in the world???? I mean, really. Idiots. haha

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarmen

Tricia, you make me wonder if some of these OTHER spellings could be sung. Bipthday, birdthay, birt, birdholq don't exactly trip off the tongue.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That Boithday cake needs to go swimmin' with da fishes.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Boithday's cake is cracked. very suspicious.

Also, the chocolate puddles pooling under the cheesecake in the restaurant looks like a hidden mickey.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hahaha who knew Happy Birthday could be so difficult.

I would like to argue in defense of some of these decorators however.

Edgar's cake can be seen as "Birday" with an i with no dot, and the r is attached to the i, similar to cursive but clearly printed.

The gangster cake says "Birthday" with a very fancy r, so fancy that it has a weird loop thing going on at the top left edge of the letter.

Still, a cake should not be illegible. This blog is just hilarious in general. I commend you for your work.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterK.P.

It never ceases to amaze me how bad spelling can be. I am not perfect, but man this bad. Then again I see worse from college students sometimes. *sigh*

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterconfused homemaker

The Edgar cake looked like "Birdoz" to me.

WV: barli. Might be closer than some of these cakes...

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCat

These bring back fond (and by fond, I mean terrifying) memories of my husband's birthday a few years ago when the entire family got the stomach flu. We were SO sick. So sick that we even couldn't even LOOK at the cake much less eat it. We will forever refer to it as Daddy's Happy Barfday. Thanks for reminding me. No really... thanks.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, when I first read what you said about the one with a cold, I thought to myself, "It's not bad enough they get the spelling of the most common word used for food decoration wrong, they're doing it while they have a cold and spreading all their nasty, nasty germies around? SICK!"

But then I reread it. D'oh!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

You just gotta wonder: "How do these things happen?"

I'm waiting for "Happy Beerday", myself!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

I have the commend the decorator on how well they formed the letters in Ashley's Happy Bipthday cake; it's actually quite impressive if you can look beyond the R->P error.

Also, I will join K.P. in supporting the defense that Boithday is actually spelled correctly, with a very fancy cursive 'r'.

Spelling errors make me sad.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

On my husband's birthday we went out for dinner and I told the waitress I'd like her to bring him a cake. Well, she brought a little cake, but it was the piped-in celebratory music that made us crack up, "Happy Birsday to you, happy birsday to you!" So it's not just spelled wrong, it's also sung and recorded wrong.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Put that little pine branch on your number 4 candle and smoke it."
This cracks me up. Hugely. :D

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlivingandthriving

What's in the clear, plastic upside down cup on the 'Happy Birt Logan' cake?

I tried making the photo larger but I can't make out what it is.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

To be fair, I think that first cake doesn't actually say "Birdholq." Upon closer inspection, I think the cake originally said, "Birdhd" and then someone tried to add a "y" which ended up looking more like a "q," yielding "Birdhdy" or "Birdhdq," which are still pretty hilarious. It's just that the line and circle of the "d" don't meet properly, and the add-on "y" is totally deformed.

"Happy Boithday" is like, the best one I've ever seen!! It's like a Three Stooges Cake! ^___^

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I'm pretty sure that one cake was MAPPY birdoy, but that last letter could have been a g, BIRDOG.

Or was it MAFFY?

I guess the wreckerators are dysgraphic

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOnyx

"Birdholq" is the noise made by the cake decorator as I start choking her for spelling my cake wrong.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

You know the one you think might be "Binday" could be "Birday", the "n" looks a lot like a British joined up handwriting r (it's a type of handwriting very similar to cursive, except the letters look a lot like printed letters joined up - main differences are the "r" - looking like the one you see here, and "s".

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrystle

On second glance I think the Happy Boithday cake does actually say Happy Birthday, but the 'r' is a cursive r. Very funny though. I always tune in for my daily dose!

Vicky

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, my thoughts on the Edgar cake....
Think of Men In Black. Now think of when Edgar gets his body taken over by the alien. Now think of Edgar's wife...Imagine her saying "Happy Berday Edgar" And that cake makes total sense.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

LOL, I'm reading "Happy Birdog Eigor". Love the commentary.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershaz

Ashley's cake - I was amazed at the three distinct shapes for the letter "Y". One was a Y, one was a V, and one was lost in between!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birsday... mebie zis iss dsherman

Can't wait for the afternoon, wreck-addict.

Best wishes from Berlin, Germany

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Christina - the little plastic 'cup' on Logan's cake is actually a fish bowl with Elmo's pet fish.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, um, Happy 'irthday' would at least SOUND appropriate this week... Wasn't there one yesterday?

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Unbelievable! LOL

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Waiting for a "Happy Barfday." Sure hope I didn't miss it.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

Laughed until I cried!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKemara

OMG, my dad, being from Yugoslavia, ALWAYS pronounced it "Birsday."
I'm now convinced that he had a secret life as a wreckorator...
In fact he's probably responsible for most of the cakes on this site.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

it's really too bad that Ashley had a Bipthday. the cake wasn't too bad until that.

but happy Birt? THAT takes the cake. I wondered if Ernie enjoyed that cake. and if rubber ducky did too.

but happy Barthy is just rife with entendre.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

@Christina

I can't explain any of these misspellings, but I think the clear plastic cup is holding Elmo's goldfish - Dorothy.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

What? No Beerdays? No Barfdays? Don't these people know how to party??!!

wv: fingsare
Fingsare becomink vedy clear now.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeeJay

Make it stop! Please, make it stooooooppppppp!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

Boithday should be the new, official name of the day celebrating a year of life - I mean, if there's anything the world can agree upon it's that.

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan (Best of Fates)

These are so great! Such fun you have! :<)

Wishing you another happy day today!

Barbara Diane

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhimcees

I think the one that you said says "Happy Boithday" does actually say "Happy Birthday", but the "r" is too "scripty"...Thus resulting in what looks like "Happy Boithday". Just goes to show you can know how to spell and still screw it up!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Sad... (well maybe not) The one of the cheesecake, whipped cream and one candle looks to be from Cheesecake Factory!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Birsday, runny nose, Happy Birsday !
WV : ledecent
As in "Le decent thing to do would be to guillotine those wreckators, n'est-ce pas ?"

-Naomi

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, I'm going to totally be that person and say that I think the word is spelled correctly on "Cooper"'s cake. I think the "d" is a "t" where the person crossed it in a single stroke, like an upside-down "4." Then the "ol" is actually a "d," and the added "q" is "ay."

However, any cake that requires this amount of parsing is clearly not quite right. That is among the most unattractive decorative writing I have ever seen (and I normally wouldn't judge... my own writing, when I try every year to make my husband's birthday cake and end up doing a crappy job and throwing down the icing bag in frustration, is terrible).

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterspacedcowgirl

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