My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sobering Celebrations

Choosing the right cake design to go with your message is key. After all, you wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, now, would you?

Aw, now there's a warm welcome.

(And if you think an overly enthusiastic volunteer fire brigade might spell disaster, you're wrong. It spells "neiborhood.")

Baptism, baseball...they both involve dunking, right?

[UPDATE: I have just been informed that baseball does not, in fact, have dunking. Apparently that's hockey. My bad.]

Ah, Niko. That boy is creeping up on death like a herd of geriatric turtles. Why, it seems like only yesterday you were playing with Thomas the Tank Engine, huh, Niko? Maybe because it WAS only yesterday, but still.

(No, the 5 is not a typo; this really was for a fifth birthday party.)

Whoops, Karen T., Karen G., & Tammy C., apparently geriatric turtles come in flocks.

- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals

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Reader Comments (107)

Wow. I think "neiborhood" offends me the most.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

WTF @ the 5th birthday cake!!! Creeps me out and makes me sad at the same time.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Maybe Niko is an emo toddler.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Well at least you know you'll be safe when your new house "accidentally" catches on fire.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnoia

Oh, no! The G and the H have already burned!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGloom Raider

What are those black balloon things on the Niko's bday cake?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDarling One

The first cake, sans misspelling, would be perfect for my new neighbor. I first met him when he set his backyard on fire from burning cardboard boxes. He's getting a fire extinguisher for a housewarming gift...

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When did Darth Vader become the Grim Reaper?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Is that a scene from the Incredibles in the last one? If so... WHY that scene for the cake? What the heck? ha ha ha!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

On that last one, I'm going to extend the benefit of the doubt to the wreckerator in question and hazard a guess that the Niko cake recipient is a fan of the Percy Jackson books, which have a character named Nico who is the son of Hades. Hence the death?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, I'm pretty sure the Niko birthday cake is a Percy Jackson and the Olympians reference. There's a kid whose name is Niko who is a demigod and ...


a child of the god Hades. If this 5yo Niko is a fan of the books, then it makes sense.

And Geek fans, if you haven't read Rick Riordan's books, I highly HIGHLY recommend. Not great literature or anything, but addictive fun action-packed fantasy.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

"Warm welcome"! ROFL

does this "neiborhood" have an arson problem? is this how the mob intimidates new neighbors? or neibors? there's no poiple this time....

Happy? Happy what? or maybe Erik is just happy. Happy to play baseball. or go to a game. or idolize a player. (btw, dunking is BASKETBALL. or so I'm told. ;p ) if only babies were really dunked at baptisms, too. it could be more entertaining. and messier.

Niko--concerns me. are those bloody cannonballs? why is the Grim Reaper on a FIVE year old's birthday cake? Does he have a dark streak or does someone have it in for Niko? What was the name on that "Happy Last Birthday" cake again???

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the people in the first one are new fire fighters? Just stretching here (and boy, that IS a stretch).

The second one is wrecky on many levels. I didn't even SEE the "baptism" for the longest time, due to the yellow on yellow.

Um, that last one? Poor kid. I hope he's dealing with his last birthday okay. Seriously, isn't that kind of cruel?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Notice how the bloody cannonballs have landed on and obscured the word "happy." Well, Erik may be "happy" but poor Niko...I hope this isn't HIS "last birthday."

There's even BONES on the cake. *shudder*

Cake caption: "How to tell if your parents don't 'like' you...."

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

It's even worse the word "Baptism" was written under the guy's crotch, and in yellow!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

The ballplayer had me asking, what does that have to do with baptism? Then I enlarged the photo and saw that "Baptism" is actually written in yellow on a yellow background near the middle of the cake. Besides the zero-contrast color set, it may not have been the best idea to write "Baptism" right under the pitcher's buttocks and crotch ...

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Scrap Happy Erik and this post could be "How to tell if your neighbors (or parents) don't like you."

wv: trama

These cakes could make someone suffer some trama!!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

YUM. Black Icing! You can use the scythe to cut the cake and the bowling balls to- oh never mind... a lovely Friday selection!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Ok well now Im depressed...5th Birthday cake??? Come on!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Were they trying to get the word "baptism" as close as possible to the guy's crotch? Because there's no other explanation for the placement.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Actually (pedantic librarian hat on), the proper collective noun for turtles is a 'bale'. Neither herd nor flock.

(We stumped a guide at the aquarium with that one, then had to look it up when we had internet signal again. So it's stuck in my mind.)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSugarPunk

Apparently Niko is going to be crushed by giant, shiny black orbs.

Poor kid. I hope there's some kind of explanation for that cake - like the kid loves Halloween a lot or some such thing.

BTW, turtles come in "bales". Don't ask me why, they just do.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarmenT

That's the first thing I noticed about the baptism cake as well--the indicative color, the curious placment of the word...written in script no less (I'll add no commentary about the tendency of kids to "write their name" if you follow), to the fact that they guy even has a leg hiked--just makes me wonder if the baptism in question was a "sprinkling".

WV=cousi (cuz-zy): the son or daughter of your parent's brother or sister who had an affair with your spouse.
USAGE: "I knew my first cousin Sarah was hanging around my husband an awful lot...that cousi!"

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobert Williams

Thanks, people! I didn't even SEE the word baptism. After several references I zoomed in on the picture.

But still, if a kid is being baptized, how is he already a baseball fan? Wouldn't he still be an infant in most churches? or is dad a baseball egomaniac? or did Erik just make the team and is therefore "baptized" into the sport? (Run, Erik! Here comes the Gatorade!)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was going to ask if the Niko cake was not a reference to the Percy Jackson series (Yeah, SO WHAT? I LIKE TEEN FICTION!), too, but Lili effect and Anonymous beat me. Still, love it!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJimh.

I thought the 2nd cake just said Happy Erik... it took me awhile to find the bright yellow crotch Baptism.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

So glad that other people commented on the yellow baptism - golden shower connotation

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the Grim Reaper isn't about death.

Maybe it's his favorite...action figure? Maybe it's from a Happy Meal?

Maybe he's a very MATURE five.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

So glad that other people have also noticed the yellow baptism/golden shower connotation. I'm not completely weird!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarsh

Happy Baptism? This is an occasion where naked baby carrot jockeys would make a lot more sense. Huh.

My thought was that maybe Niko is a hamster? Like the one Janet Evanovich has been putting in her Stephanie Plum novels for about 15 YEARS? (Take THAT, Niko!)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are all very wrecky today! My first thought with Erik's cake is that all the guests are going to have blue teeth, tongues, and lips - not a good look. The local high school's colors are navy blue and white, so imagine all the graduation cakes which leave their "mark" on everyone who eats them - eewww!!!!

Never read Percy Jackson, but that's the most reasonable explanation for Niko's cake - otherwise, he better have a lookout when he sleeps at night!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the baseball player is pitching at the Baptism dunk-tank.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

There is dunking in baseball when you are trying to trigger a dunking booth lever!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

I totally get the last cake. Death and bowling always go hand in hand for me, too.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Well, um... I don't see anything wrong with that last cake. But then again, when I was five, I was a zombie cheerleader. :/ My mom would never let me have a grim reaper cake. D:

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQuixotic Dreamer

Oh, and I think the deke in hockey, not dunk... you dunk in basketball...

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Poor Niko.
That is one scary cake!
And if it is a Percy Jackson cake, it's not a very good one. Hades and Death are two very different people.

WV: runats- What Niko did when he saw his cake!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJayme

I have a vague idea for the birthday cake... "Niko" is also the name of a character in the Percy Jackson series; he's the son of Hades. Maybe the 5 year old really likes those books? You know, the books meant for middle schoolers?

...Yeah, I don't know.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiane



(I know I should have more intelligent commentary than that but...words fail me, truly they do)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Well, now, baseball can involve dunking... if you're throwing baseballs in order to send the funny clown plunging into the dunking tank.

Which would be a fun idea for a church fair. "Step right up! Step right up! Be the first to throw the baseball that sends the lucky acolyte into the Blood of the Lamb! Step right up! Who wants to baptize this child of Jesus?"

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlue Jean

Here's a thought on the baseball/baptism cake: Maybe its one of those dunking booths at the fair, from the view of the one getting dunked, or rather "baptized". :)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarble Madness

I wonder why there are dog treats on the ground next to the darth vader grim reaper on the 5th birthday cake...

...or bowling balls for that matter!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia

And, I'd always thought that basketball was the only sport with dunking. Ah, Cake Wrecks: entertainment and edujamacation!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwundermary

I think poor Niko is under that black bowling ball. The red kinda reminds me of a *splat*.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpeaches1111_00

I've never read the Percy Jackson books. I figured that Niko is a young Terry Pratchett fan. (His Discworld series includes Death personified.)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

First off, I thought the second cake said Happy [awkward pause] Erik. Secondly, what the heck is with the last cake. I keep staring and staring, but it makes no sense. Death looks like Darth Vader, the top of the tomb stone(?) has white junk on it which makes it look like it's got mold. Also, apparently evil teletubbies feature heavily in the afterlife, since that blue poo swirl is just slightly too morbid a color to feature on a kids' show. Lastly, what are the big black balls? Is that supposed to be blood? The only thing I can think of that they remind me of is the Dalek Void ship...

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um. Death cake for five year old?

I doubt the Percy Jackson connection, unless he's a VERY precocious five-year-old.

My first thought was Terry Pratchett, but the same doubt applies. I'm stumped.

What WERE they thinking?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate Halleron

The Niko cake is probably referencing the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Niko is a character who is Hades' son. Still, doesn't make the cake right by any means. :) Not w/ that pile of wrecking balls on the left.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle Boinay

A bale of turtles?? Now we know why they move so slowly. I'm gonna look for a turtle baler at the next farm show.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

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