My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Cakes For a Crowd

Okay, I get it. I know we're in a recession. I know we're all cutting corners to save some cash. I know we're all trying to shave precious minutes off our day so we can get home in time for LOST.

But can we stop sacrificing cake in order to save a few bucks? Can't we give every person his/her own special celebratory confection? (And for the love of Betty Crocker, whose idea was it to have less cake around during a party?)

Maybe it's because celebrating several things at once makes for a great party word-puzzle:


Just to recap: "Congrad Jonathan on 10th Congrad Wendy on 5pm & Happy Birthday IaKeia."
(Coincidentally, last time I celebrated my 10th and 5pm, I was at IKEA.)

Maybe it's because sometimes you need a reason to use up those extra office supplies:



And if you take a bite with a straight pin in it, you get to keep it!
(I guess when they told the bakery to "tack on" a few more names, they took it literally.)

Or maybe it's because busy cakes allow the decorator to hide unsightly monikers amongst a sea of names:


"Happy Birthday! Anica, Yvonne, An..." Whoa, whoa... what's that say??





{{scrubs eyes}}



I really want to crack a joke here, butt I don't want to say something tongue in cheek.
At least they didn't mistake it for art direction. [Rim shot!]


Congrad John M. on 12st, Congrad Lee B. at 9pm and, Laura D. on Happy Birthday Sam's Club!


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Reader Comments (92)

I work at a grocery store bakery and the things some people want me to cram on a cake, it's laughable. There was one guy who wanted a cake to split between three people's birthdays. He got the smallest cake because he was cheap, had me put a spiderman skit on it (which is bigger then the cake itself BTW) and had me write all three of their full names. I regret never taking a picture of it. It was so ridiculous. lol

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This just makes me glad that when it is my turn for the monthly office birthday party that I don't have to personalize the cakes.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

No-one's commented on the first cake's other wrecky aspect... the "congrad"! Maybe Jonathan came 10th in a big, important competition, and Wendy's just thrilled when 5 p.m. rolls around and she's off for the day? And anybody got a guess what name "Iakeia" could be, assuming it was a person not the store?

With the black icing and the streamers... why not add some post-its to an office cake. They're a key work-related item! Um, yeah.

As for poor Anus... given the spelling of the other names, I suspect this is correct, and it's someone who was named in a different country where the name is perfectly fine. As someone with a name that's unpronouncable to most Anglophones, I can sympathize. Although, if my name was so unfortunate in the language of my chosen country, that's what middle-names, nicknames, or legally changed names are for!!

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

@ Vickie:

I believe that the faded, or "ombre" effect there is intentional--it seems to be the hotular thing at stores in my area.

Why don't we relax and enjoy the fine points of this thing? For example, we can admire the copious use of REAL curling ribbon embedded in the frosting, and the satiny sheen of those roses...looks just like someone licked them, because they're so yummy.

Then there is the diligent use metal staples to hold the name tags on (so as not to blow away~~we know how breezy it can get in the bakery dept.)

Finally, we can appreciate the work that went into the fine script on those whose names WEREN'T important. There. Don't you feel better now?


May 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I can't decide if it's worse to have wrecked someone's name into Anus, or that it was supposed to read "Anns" for the multiple Anns in the office. Not only do the Anns have to share their birthday cake with the other birthdayers, they don't even get noted individually! Yeesh. Maybe our office policy of ignoring all birthdays, anniversaries, etc. isn't so bad after all.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Anus? Was he so named because he was born with an enematic smile?

Have we now scraped the bottom of the barrel and reached the very end of the cake wreck humour?

Or will there be more bringing up the rear?

(at least there's no problem wigh where to stick the candles!)

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Anna.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gotta love the laziness of the Post It notes and stick pins!

You should do a post for Sunday Sweets on LOST themed cakes! Happy Losting! Mmm...sounds like frosting.. :)

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What happened was , when I went to post my comment, I got a message thingy that said there was some sort of "ERROR." So, I did it over (a bit different 'cause I couldn't remember what I did the first time).
Disregard one or the other...or BOTH!!
Look, I'm REALLY not schizophrenic, here!
Neither am I!


May 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Ha! LOL, even I get teased about my name so I can only imagine what it's like for An-... Um... Let's just say Angus

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAstrid

I think perhaps that was supposed to be "Angus"... I hope...

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Poor Anus. I also felt sorry for poor old Kank.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

my middle name is ANISE and I have had the misfortune of having this mispelling...and this is why no one calls me by my middle name anymore :)

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

One more possibility on the last one: Anush, which is a male name in India. (It's pronounced ah-Noosh.) Let's not forget that not every name out there is of American origin, and that words or names that have humorous/unfortunate meanings in English do not translate the same way elsewhere. :)

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSmitha

That poor wreckerator! She didn't realize what she wrote until she got to Michael's name & saw what she wrote above! Wonder why she didn't fix it? Maybe she thought no one would notice??
Oops, gotta go. Time to watch last week's LOST episode again. Has anyone made an island smoke monster cake yet? Yummy - lots of black icing!
WV: tints - I'm really tints about how LOST is going to end!

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Wait... seriously... "RIM shot"? Wow!

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercarmiehead

It says Anna. The second 'n' is sloppy, and the 'a' is akward, but it does say Anna.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Waay back when I first was a teacher, my school had just gotten it's first group of Vietnamese refugees as students. One of my students name was F*ck.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaede

Could it be "Avis"?

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I love it-I am still hoping that Anus was a misprint

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious! I noticed the Anus as well.

check out my blog:

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

The pins on cake 2 are actually T-pins, commonly used in workplaces whose office and workstations are actually constructed from fabric panels, a la "Office Space".

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHippie2MARS

What I want to know is, how in the heck, being the ONLY girl out of seven celebratees, did Ginger luck out with the hot pink cake, when the other six were guys? Chin scratcher...

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterC & A

It was a contest on when baby Iakeia would arrive. Jonathan guessed the date and Wendy guesses the time. They won a cake.

May 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterregina in oz

I cannot believe, ok maybe I can, that there is someone out there with the name of Anus.. oh come on wreckerators! I think the person decorating that cake had a bit much to drink and said the heck with it when she/he couldn't read the names to put on the cake. I fear for whoever picked up that cake.

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

You know we spend too much time reading Cake Wrecks when it takes til 2:20pm for anyone to mention "Congrads". I guess everyone figured, "Oh, yeah, did that last week. Could have been worse."

By the way, I like the Post-It Notes cake idea. Not the actual paper and T-pins, but I can just see future cakes with little fondant sticky notes and piped pins. A great idea for these multi-celebration cakes.

At an office I managed, we did away with the birthday cake thing entirely. It was just too much trouble to gather donations, order, pick up, etc., as well as even remember that it was someone's birthday. So I instituted "If it's your birthday, you bring the donuts day." Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like a box of Krispy Kreme. Um, donuts.

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I LOVE Cake Wrecks! If I ever need a laugh I can find it here. Thank you!!

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLatina

"To take arms against a sea of names, and by opposing, Wreck them"

I too thought it might be Anna. I do feel bad for someone saddled with Anus, though: even if it's pronounced "a noose", it still sounds like "a noose". But I guess morbid is better than gross.

By the way, if you take it as archaic Latin, tori amos can mean "doughnut love"! (Well, sort of.)

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGoueznou

That's what happens when your coworkers think you're an asshole.

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkittenpie

I think Anus actually supposed to say Anna lol

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela T.

Our work used to do an individual cake for each person's birthday. We were once a very small company that suddenly grew into a public company. Before they finally switched to group cakes, we were having cake two or three times a week every week. It was insane! As a company we were collectively becoming closer to obesity, heart problems, and type II diabetes.

Now we do cake once a month for all occasions where cake should be celebrated (for the most part). It, as you have shown with this post, has created new issues with celebrating in the work place.

Gaffigan fans: "It's Bill's birthday!"
"I hate that guy."
"There's cake in the conference room!"
"Well, I should say hello."

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

I have to agree with C & A. Out of all those wrecks, what I'm wondering about is why the hot pink/flowery cake when only one of the names is female? Silly, I know, but it's bugging me!

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMucey

why, oh WHY do I wait to read your blog until nighttime when the house is quiet and everyone is asleep- I laugh waayyy too loudly and nearly wake everyone up! You crack me up!!!

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

This post inspired a wreck-tastic dream last night. I was in a bakery and of the four pre-decorated cakes all four of them were wrecks. I was hopping with excitement and borrowed a camera from a total stranger so I could document. Only then did I see the "No Photos" sign and the owner of the establishment peering round with suspicion.

May 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlue Sarah

To those questioning the pink-to-female ratio: seriously, some of those guys could be gay. You don't know. In fact, all of them could be, for all we know.

May 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ROTFLMAO! I LOVE the last funny...I can't believe some of the mistakes these decorators make.

May 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBabeeLove

Just to let you know that Anus/Anis is an Arabic boy's name.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was wondering about the pink icing on the cake too. I'm thinking it was the cake in the display.

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the name is supposed to be Arius, and they forgot to dot the i. (Maybe?)

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I think the name on the cake was "Anna." It's just that the wreckerater had a huge problem with penmanship and that last A looks like an "s" while the middle n looks like a "u." I know it's a late post, but I thought I might ease someone's mind. : )

October 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have also encountered the feminine name "Annis", and was momentarily unsure how to pronounce it. Right after the birth of our third child, I overheard with horror (through the curtain drawn around my bed) the name bestowed on the innocent baby girl in the next bed. Hospital employee: "What name do you want on the birth certificate?" Proud Mom: "VaJeanna" Employee: "Um, how do you spell that?" Mom: "V-A-G-I-N-A"!

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertruthfinder2

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