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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
May242010

The Baby Cake Gets Cut Down to Size

You know how sometimes you see a baby cake that's not too horrendously awful, and your first reaction is something like,

"
Aw, just lookit that face! Who's a cute widdle boopsie woopsie baby? Is it you? Yes, it's you!!"


(Actually, sorry, that's John talking to our cats. My bad.)

Anyway, my point is that while some of these baby cakes might be just the teensiest bit cute, you have to remember one very important thing:

It's all fun and games 'til you cut the cake.

Yes, I have an example. Brace yourself.

Here we have the standard old man baby cake:

I say we call him Benjamin. ('Cuz he's cute as a Button!)

[Quick side note: in case you're wondering, as I did, why he's on a food court tray: it turns out that's a new type of cake board popping up in bakeries. Weird, I know. Ok, sorry to interrupt. Let's move on.]

And just so you get the full effect:

Just lookit that face!

No really, look at it. Aren't you glad the eyes aren't open?

[shiver] Whoah. I just gave myself the willies. (Or should I call them the "bennies?")



Okay. So, über realistic baby. Been there, done that. However, here's where things get...

...cutting.

I would insert some side-splitting commentary here about how stabbing someone in the back always gets you the cold shoulder in the end - but as you can see, there's no need. He's already "waist"ing away!


Oh, Oh! Wait! I have one more:

Hey, Benji! You just got served!

Bwahahahahahaahaa!

Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.


Anyway, we still haven't gotten to the worst part yet. The worst part actually, literally, in real reality, honestly gave John nightmares. Seriously. So now he won't let me post it here. Instead, I'm going to link to it. But please, all joking aside, choose your clicks wisely. I'm here to make you laugh, not give you nightmares - and this thing puts the "ick" in "squicky."

Ok, enough warnings (since I'm sure they're having the opposite affect anyway): Click here to see the final photo.

Thanks to Kimberley K., who will never again say to a child, "I could just eat you up!"

Note from John: I initially made that last picture a separate post and linked to it, not realizing it would show up in Google readers before the actual post. Oops. Sorry to those of you who clicked on it with no warning! Oh and if the new link doesn't work, you may have to refresh the page.

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Reader Comments (270)

Wow, I shouldnt have looked but of course I did...Now I'll have nightmares of someone cutting a baby! lol

August 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

That link to the last picture....SHUDDER!!! I cannot unsee that and I'm sure that will haunt me for the REST of my life!! OMG!

August 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustyne

OMG! that is just too creepy for a baby shower cake.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

I used to work at a party store many years ago and they sold BABY PINATAS! Really - a pink or blue clad crawling baby pinata. Who in their right mind would BUY (never mind make) such a thing. I googled this to see if I could find a picture but, alas, no luck. I guess pinata-makers finally came to their senses!

October 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Olivia

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's going to be ok. IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!
(sob sob)

Olivia

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good God! the worst part was DEFINITELY the worst!! I didn't realize it was his face for a second there..*shiver*

January 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis

It is disconcerting!

July 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristina Viering

@Cathy in AK

It depends on who the celebrity who is being portrayed in piñata form is. I can think of a few who are famous for such dubious accomplishments as sex videos, riding the "rehab merry go round", repeated legal run-ins, and the like. (As opposed to being good actors, singers, etc.) who I'd have no trouble whacking with a stick.

November 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

I'm just glad it wasn't red velvet cake with a red cherry or strawberry filling!! LMAO!!

January 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie W.

DON'T CLICK THE LINK! DON'T CLICK THE LINK! JOHN WAS TOTALLY RIGHT! MY DREAMS WILL BE HAUNTED OF THE SLICED AND DICED BABY!

January 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMooseluver

Oh dear, why did I click on that last link...!

January 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

OMG disturbing! D:
And at the same time, kinda hilarious in a messed-up sort of way that anyone would think this was a "cute" idea. xD Ewwww.

On a side note, I might try the cake ....if someone dared me to.

January 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Who would order a baby cake? And yes, it's gross that it's on a lunch tray. And yes, it could be worse...it could have been red velvet cake. I want to see these people on Dr Phil. THAT would be a show.

March 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinn

These cakes are so hilarious. I can only imagine someone cutting into the baby cake.

April 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKeith Meyers

So, so disturbing. Thanks for posting the final photo elsewhere, rather than at the bottom of this page. I chose to look at it, but man...it is so wrong. Thankfully someone thought to not to make this out of red velvet cake so there was SOME thought.

April 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElyse

I just read Cormac McCarthy's The Road and that link made me think of a scene from it.

June 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNicole C

So, was looking at these today and my kids came running at my laughter at these definite wrecks. Not sure how the cake cutter felt but not even my 6 yr old would have eaten a piece as he said to me "NO, that's just sick!" and stomped off.

August 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngela H.

Thank God it wasn't red velvet. That would have just been too traumatic. It was traumatic enough already.

September 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

WHAT KIND of Cake is it?
Looks GREEN inside of the HEAD...
Like some kind of Lunch Salad thingy.....
Yuck~

November 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

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