Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May262010

Something Here Doesn't Add Up

We all know Wreckerators have trouble with the English and the spelling and whatnot.

(I don't know why they have trouble with the English, but they do.)

Well, turns out they aren't so great with numbers, either.

See? I tried to tell you cupcake cakes (patooie!) are all backwards.

"You're celebrating your 75th birthday? Meh, here's a quarter. Call someone who cares fractionally more than me."

(Oooh, math puns are FUN!!)

There's an unwritten rule in Wreckerating: every number ends in "th." Yes, every number.




The irony here is that's the "fixed" version.

Oh, and speaking of irony...

The kid on the right totally knows. He's just being polite.

Sarah J., Annette H., Dao, Janie, Jessica B., & Mike V., you're all number 1th to me.

« Drem Big, Gjrads! | Main | Hats Off for Graduates! »

Reader Comments (120)

Maybe it's 1/4 of a century...left?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL @ Mary. Under surveillance! I'm picturing FBI agents lurking in the bushes of a backyard birthday party. Good thing the icing wasn't red, too.

so, in addendum to the Bakery Manglement cheat sheet,

"Make sure your balloons do not look like sperm! Also, make sure nothing resembles a phallus!"

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks, John! I tried to remember as many transgressions as I could. Commenters, feel free to embellish if I missed something!

wv: diste. I love insult cakes, when someone gets really diste.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Until reading the posts, I thought the 75th birthday cake said "2/4 of a century". Like that makes any sense either.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Siouxzr said...
"I am trying to reconstruct what the wreckerator was thinking..."
******
Well, you're a brave one, I'll give you that!
Personally, I think I'd rather French kiss a light socket than get inside THAT brain. =^~.-^=

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Jenni @ Project Cookie 365 said...

" Maybe someone will order a diqua...d cake?"
***
That's too funny!
(But can we change the "qu" to "ckw"? Because "diquad" could mean two quads, or half of one quad. Depending. (On WHAT, I have no idea.)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@ Jo- I loved you until the "Ladies, please consult me before construction of SPORTS related cakes!"

Just because your jockey is riding a carrot and mine is not, does not mean you know more than sports!

Love,
Courtney- a fanatical sports fan

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterC

C,

I got the impression that Jo's a girl as in Jo Ann. I could be wrong. Jo, ya wanna weigh in on this?

john

@JO:
The only thing that I'd add would be, "Have a nice trip! See you next Fall!"
(Get it?? Huh? Trip/fall?)

But that only *works* if you can manage to stick your foot out in time to catch 'em as they're heading toward the cake to blow out the candles. It's very tricky and requires a lot of finesse.

=^u.u^=

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

As the PROUD, PROUD former owner of the "Happy 2th Birthday Elizabeth" cake (I say former because, well, we don't STILL own it) I'd like to clarify the "fixed" version if I can remember it correctly.

Forgive me, I've had 5 more kids since then so this may not be totally accurate. J or J, correct me if my email was different than this b/c I submitted that a while ago.

When I ordered the cake the lady put on the paper, "Happy 2rd Birthday Elizabeth" I leaned over and said, "Don't you mean SECOND birthday?" She said, "Oh yeah..." then scratched out the "rd."

Which in my head sounds like, "She scratched out the terd."

Anyway. Thanks for making me "famous." I'm warm and fuzzy inside.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Beaver Bunch

lolol

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

C said...

"Just because your jockey is riding a carrot and mine is not..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HELLOOO! I LOVE that!!!
Can I use it?? Huh? Huh? Can I??

=^O.O^=

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Im glad to hear that 75 is the new 25. O_o

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Honestly, though...the last cake shouldn't feel too bad. If the kids would just stand in front of a mirror with it and read backwards, the "1" will look fine.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

In addition to the communist wand and tiara on Elizabeth's 2th Birthday cake, let's not overlook the wreckiness of the 70's swirly ceiling frosting.
What Up With That?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

The software that came with our scanner at work scans the "1th," "2th," etc. page on multi-page .pdf scans. I thought it was the result of a lazy programmer, but now I think it was a wreckerator who changed careers.

Kathy

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last cake reminds me of a Russian TV logo for some reason...

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

@ The Beaver Bunch:

Why would you need to be forgiven for having more kids? That's entirely YOUR business!

(LOL--just being silly, here!)

=^~.-^=

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Cake #1 ... Maybe his birthday is on the (glorious) day that Captain EO returns to EPCOT Center?

(Now where's the "Welcome Back Horizons and Dream Finder" cake?)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSyracuseWolvrine

John, you are correct. Jo is short for Joanne. I'm a lazy typist.

The post was supposed to be from a hypothetical male bakery manager to his hypothetical staff. We have seen many sports blooper cakes, including a lot of WTF ones (like the baseball X, which is probably my favorite). The comment was to poke fun at sports-clueless wreckerators (since we've seen their work). The "manager" blames the "ladies" but I know some guys who are sports-clueless too!

Not all men are sports fans, and not all women aren't. But more men are probably sports fans than women and the "manager" makes this assumption. ("It's not me, baby, honestly!" (Austin Powers ref.))

Most of the post was the "cheat sheet" and note from the Manager/Mangler. Besides, I remember the adorable post by Jen where she merges all kinds of sports lingo into one jumbled post in a self-deprecating "I'm not into sports" kind of way.

So, lighten up, Courtney! I don't have a carrot either ;)

Just read the post again from a "male-chauvinist" manager point of view to his underlings in an awkward attempt at "damage (wreck) control". Why do you think his whole "note to staff" was impeccably spelled? until we got to "Bakery Manglement." The misspeling of Management is to make fun of the Manager too, and to poke fun at wreckerators/wrecks by using a word like "mangle."

so, C, do you love me again? it's all in good fun! :)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo(anne) ;)

I'm oft tempted to write a reverse dictionary after reading wrecks.

And then we find the 'word recognition' portion of the verification on the post....

'dessesm' -- ??? Pronounced disses 'em? As in what we all do to these wrecks above?

I also find it hilarious that CCC creators have the need to slather the icing into one big blob, rather than leave each minicake on it's own and let our minds fill in the blanks.

Or should we fill in the blanks? I'm so confused.

~~Di (who still can't remember her Google password to log in)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

8/7 of the population doesn't understand fractions...

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

@ Beaver Bunch (aka Elizabeth's mum): so, you mean to say that the bakery corrected 2rd with 2th?! Wow, from terd to twoth... I guess they're both related to orifices o.0

@Jo: don't forget no realistic baby cakes. But, there is one problem with a "Pledge of Quality Cake Decoration"-- if too many bakeries and cake decorators sign off on it, we'd all be deprived of daily giggles!

The 75st cake (sorry, just had to do that!): I think someone was using that old "Quarter of a century" joke from when someone turns 25. And the wreckerator was so busy thinking about the line, that they forgot to modify it for the actual age in question.

the 30 cake: Why am I singing "E-I-E-I-O" as I look at it??? Or of the donkey in Winnie the Pooh

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

ha, ha, ha....it's hard turning 30

As a maths student, I feel I can clear some things up: clearly the first cake is in greek, a lowercase epsilon and omicron. Which is still a wreck, cause no self-respecting mathematician would use an omicron in an equation. It should be a delta, that's much more common with epsilons.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

No captain EO and no greek, the first cake was supposed to be a for a guy's 30th birthday.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

2th? You can't handle the 2th!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, you know, 7 out of 5 people have trouble with fractions.
(And that Hello Kitty cake would be cute if they hadn't messed up the inscription.)
WV: thympa It thould be thympa to write the correct number on theth caketh.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

@ Amy,
Wow! A brainiac. You certainly 'settled my hash'.

Is what you wrote true?
(hmm wonder where my dunce cap is)

mocking

wv ponsoca
Her definition is a ponsoca scheme.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lol

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLunar Eclipse

The Number 1 cake is my fav! My daughter's first cake was shaped like a number one, but hubby was so intent on making straight cuts and layers lining up he didn't notice that the wax paper template was upside-down. He was so embarrassed when he stepped away from it that the only pic is the one of our daughter looking vaguely ill, and the tell-tail tail is conspicuously missing :)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSmokiechick

!syad dab evah lla eW

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ohhhh the HK cake was a really sweet cake and well done until the th.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeesh in MO

Awesome entry to have on my 27nd birthday. L5 (That's twenty seven upside down and backwards. Give it a minute...)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green

Is it just me, or does anyone elth think it's odd for asn 21 yr old to have a Hello Kitty! cake?
I'm a pug, what do I know anyway.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteragent99

is it just me or does the 61th look photoshopped?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah

Sarah,

Nah. They probably just used a 50mm lens to make it look all "artistic." Why they wanted it to look artistic given the subject matter, I don't know.

john

It's... it's... umm... Oh! It's a Gundam Wing cake for somebody who's favorite pilot is Trowa Barton. See, 03!

Wait, no, then the writing is upside down.

sigh. It was a reach to begin with, but I tried.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisagems

@ Jo's "cheat sheet":

1st
2nd
3rd

11th
12th
13th

21st
22nd
23rd

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoland

maybe the first one was supposed to be somethign along the lines of "E I, E I O" but they couldn't afford the "I"

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

So I cant say I'm EO years old then? Darn.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSand Mama

LOL @ Aliza. (EIEIO!)

You're right. luckily, the wreckiness continues, to our amusement. Meanwhile, we can use the "cheat sheet" to make fun of the bloopers we see.

but how would we word the warning against realistic critter/baby cakes that are too gross to cut in to?

@ Roland: oops! nice catch :) that's what I get for trying write comments while I'm at work, between phone calls and interruptions. *BLUSH*

see, Aliza? never fear. The cheat sheet would still make wreckerators screw up for the tweens!

disclaimer: it was Bakery Manglement's memo to staff! apparently, he's not part of the solution.... ;)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I'm thinking the wreckerator of the Hello Kitty cake is dyslexic. Hello Kitty might've been my choice for my 12th birthday, not my 21st. But what does an actual quarter-centarian really know?

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCat

SyracuseWolvrine said...
Cake #1 ... Maybe his birthday is on the (glorious) day that Captain EO returns to EPCOT Center?

(Now where's the "Welcome Back Horizons and Dream Finder" cake?)

You are a person after my own heart!! I want a "Welcome Back Horizons and Dream Finder" cake!! PLEASE Disney!

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrnelson65

I'm almost willing to forgive the #1 because they DID at least use you're correctly.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

This posting was absolutely hilarious! Thanks for the laughs! :)

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarissa

I actually had a friend try to SELL me a CCC the other day XD He mentioned something about ordering cupcakes by sheet cake size and I'm all excited, thinking, "Oh, nice, I can get as many cute, little, individual cupcakes as equivalent to the sheet cake size!" But, oooooh no! As he tries to explain exactly what he means, things start to go south until hitting the fan with "slather buttercream across the tops of all the little suckers...." Sounds delicious, looks like crap, and SOUNDS like it would LOOK LIKE CRAP XD Gotta love the passion!

OMG, CAPT EO! WE MISS YOU MICHAEL! :*(

May 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first cake reminded me of the Wizard of Oz; you know the scene at the Wicked Witch of the West's castle with all the guards??

Maybe just me then.

WV: glanne; as in "The wreckerators must have a glanne problem that causes wreckiness!"

May 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJimma

That princess cake looks like Pepto Bismol spilled all over it. Gross! Do they even try to get these things right? Not only can they not spell they can't count.. oh man lol.

May 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Was the 'Hello Kitty' cake REALLY for a 21st? It seems more likely that it was for a 12th birthday, instead.

May 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>