My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wrecks Without Question

I know bakers get odd requests from time to time. Inside jokes, nicknames, stuff that makes no sense - they see it all. Still, you'd think there comes a point when a baker looks at a scrawled order form and asks herself, "Gee, is it more likely they wanted 'happy BIRTHDAY,' or 'happy BAIRTH?'"

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Jim," you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well, "Jim, don't be so gosh durn silly." (You're also from the South.) "'Bairth' isn't even a word! So obviously NO baker would EVER...uh..."

[raised eyebrows] You were saying?

Or how about this: you get a cake order for a little girl. She wants a bunch of little chocolate mice on the border, all surrounding one that 'mouse' written there? It kind of looks like 'mouse.' Definitely M-O-U-something. So, do you assume mouse? Or do you go with this?


Now you're thinking that this would never happen to you. "I'd write the order clearly!" you yell to the heavens. (Two words, dude: less coffee.) "Then I'd tape Post-it Notes to the order form showing them exactly where I want the text, so there's no WAY they can wreck it up!! Haha!"

Not bad, not bad. Sounds like a good plan.


What if they take your handy-dandy Post-its, copy them, and then paste them on the cake?

Aha! I see from your stunned expression that thought hadn't struck you yet.

Brace for impact.

That's Wreckerator: 3, Customer: 0.

Well played, Wreckerators. Well played.

Anna H., Helen, & Janice H., you might try asking for a Wreck. I've seen several of those wrecked into being a pretty decent-looking (and correctly spelled!) cake. It's like a wreck to the second power! Totally meta.

« The Far Side of the Wreck | Main | The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head »

Reader Comments (63)

The first two are clearly phone orders.

#1 has a decidedly Celtic feel -- I'd say Ireland or Scotland. My ancestry is Scottish, so I don't have a problem with a 'bairthday' cake. Someone wishing me a 'happy bairth', on the other hand, is a wee bit out o' kilter, ye ken.

#2 would be great for celebrating the grand opening of "Helen's Dentistry and Extermination Service". It would also make a superb poster, with the caption: "Always verify the customer's request." In either case, the transparent lower teeth (amazing effect, but SO out of place) are a great attention-getter. To distract attention from the 'mice' -- or whatever those things are with the unusually long tails. Ahem.

Matty's (really?) 'position' is a tad concerning, especially given the balloons. Is there a Wreckerator manual somewhere, specifying that balloon strings must look like tails?

The last two wrecks require a 21 *headdesk* salute.

wv: dograpp. [whistling...]

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

No, Helen is just a fan of the movie Never Cry Wolf!!

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

I agree with some of the others; when I saw "Bairth" I immediately thought it must be someone with an accent, like Scottish. But why, oh why, do these cake decorators not clarify?

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamesterCK

Oh man where do I even begin? I say these wreckerators were all having a bit to drink before they read the order forms. Then they merrily wrecked each and every cake while whistling a happy tune. Because I can't think of one reason a giant mouth with mice surrounding it would make sense. To anyone lol.

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That mouth cake is imbedded in my brain. I think that's the cover of your next book, Jen.

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Jessica's question makes me wonder... could Helen's mouth cake be inspired by the DQ ads?????

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

''Jim,' you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well..." Haha, I love it! I can't help but feel kinda bad for the folks who ordered the mouth cake and the Post-it, though. Looks expensive! Ah well, screwed up cakes make for better memories.

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterzombiekim

Helen is obviously a woman who enjoys her man.

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@4:23--I totally agree.

These kind of wrecks are my least favorite (sorry Jen--I still heart you big time) because I'm always sitting there thinking, well, duh, the people doing the decorating are working for minimum wage, if that, and it is quite likely that they spell Happy Birthday F-E-L-I-Z C-U-M-P-L-E-A-N-O-S, or the Ethiopian, Indian, Laotian pick-your-local-immigrant-population-here equivalent.

If I were given a scribbled post-it in Laotian I doubt I'd do much better. Probably, I'd do much worse. I'd be the Falker Satherhood star of Asia. Hmmm...*ponders future career move*

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwrecksfan

I just got here from a link to a cupcake article. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at that post-it cake! What a refreshing and great site. I might get inspired to do some baking. hahahaha

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterahmo

The worst part of it all... that mouth is actually really well done. The handwriting is good and the airbrushing looks great. Too bad the cake wasn't for an orthodontist. :o)

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Cathrine

The Post-it cake is okay, but guys, come one, the MOUTH CAKE!


I peruse this site occasionally and get a nice giggle, but that one? Laugh out loud funny!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSpoony

Office supply cakes
should have scissors baked inside.
Finder - next year's host!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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