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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul222010

Wrecky Roughage

According to this survey I'm about to make up, 74% of us don't get enough fiber in our diets. Unless you're British. In which case you don't get enough fibre. And you spell things wrong.

Fortunately, the bakeries of the world are here to help.

I think we'll call this Faeber.

I DO believe in Faeber. I do, I do!!

TRUE STORY: Last week our cat Tonks decided to eat a piece of ribbon because she is, by all accounts, an idiot. Now if you're a cat owner, you know that she will most likely end up dragging a two foot piece of poo-coated ribbon across our carpet while we sleep, blissfully unaware of the impending cleaning bills.

Which makes me wonder: Does the same thing happen with kids?


Admit it: you just had a mental image of a bunch of toddlers scootching their butts across the carpet.


Now, of course, if plastic is your fiber of choice, then have I got a cake for you!

It's like a cartoon colonic.


In fact, bakers really seem to be embracing the Dollar Depot movement: (Heh. "Movement.") Case in point: Ashley ordered a little boy's cake, something appropriate for a first birthday.

Aaaand this is what she got:


...'cuz nothing's more appropriate for a one-year-old than twenty-two individual choking opportunities.

"No, Palmer, Sweetie, you can't eat that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. No! Not that! Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Whoah! Definitely not that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Maybe th...no, not that, either.

"Or that."


Diana F., Kasia R., Wicked Princess, & Ashley P., I think the brown sprinkles might be safe, if you want to chance it.

Update from john: Just so we're clear, we are watching Tonks 24/7 and the minute something seems off, we'll take out a second mortgage and head to the vet. Until then, if you need me, I'll just be over here sifting poop...

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Reader Comments (129)

I was going to say the same thing as Lena about your cat's name!!

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

That first birthday cake looks like the cake we let my son decorate for himself one year. My mom made a plain chocolate sheet cake, and he added a plastic merry-go-round and all sorts of other flotsam.

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren H

I have a cat Tonks and that is just like what she would do! She eats random things off the floor before you can stop her.

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

True story! You know those plastic frosting packets that come with Toaster Strudel? My cat ate one once - and I had no idea until I found it in the litterbox!

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

Is the name on that first cake "Chalupa"?

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Admit it: you just had a mental image of a bunch of toddlers scootching their butts across the carpet."

They were riding carrots.

Incidentally, as I read about your cat's meal of ribbon and the question regarding whether baby feces could also have a long string of ribbon in them, I glanced over at my daughter, who just learned to crawl, and found her trying to eat a long piece of yarn. I suppose she wanted to find out, too.

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMicah

When my cat eats ribbon, he ends up barfing it back up first thing in the morning in my room.

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

I am dying here....you are the funniest blogger I have ever read. Never mind your cleaning bills from the cat, my new couch is going to be soaked from peeing myself!

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At least they all spelled 'birthday' right.

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Our cat is named Tonks, too! Love the site; it's my daily dose of grammar fun.

July 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

You bring back such memories, memories of the year my cats ruined Christmas. One knocked down the tree, which smashed the antique glass ornaments my grandma had just days before given me because, in her words, "you're so sentimental and I know you'll take good care of them." And the other ate a bunch of ribbon off the presents and subsequently covered our living room with bloody hairball/ribbon vomit, which had shredded his esophagus on the way out and required a day-long, wallet-emptying trip to the vet. I love cats.

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergclyne

My brother got worms when he was little and he used to scoot his butt across the carpet too. This just brought back wonderful blackmail childhood memories.

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Australians have Fibre too!! :)Keep up the good work
xox

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Cats see ribbon, cats see toy. I don't know that they generally mean to eat it either, it's simply fun to chew. Elastic is great fun as a cat toy too. It bounces but the pieces to get slowly shorter which is a little strange. Like anything you watch your cat anxiously but chances are if they've chewed up the ribbon well enough (and yes they can and do chew it up) then it'll simply be another thing to laugh at.

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoryGirl

It's not just cats and dogs. Our sulcata friends soend the winter living indoors at Miss Ami's, and her kids aren't always good about picking up their toys. We still remember when the largest swallowed the yarn part of someone's necklace from Sunday School, so that dangling out of her mouth was a paper medallion proclaiming "Jesus loves me!"

Last cake: What do you get when a dollar store blows up next to a bakery?

July 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a Canadian I am *completely* offended that you forgot us. In light of this and assuming Canada Day is an American holiday I'm never coming back...oh I don't know what a nutbar would say next.

I'm kidding.

I love your blog, this entry is seriously the funniest thing I have seen in a very, very long time. Thanks, I needed it today.

July 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermystic_eye_cda

My cat's name is Twinkletoes, and she does like ribbon too. =) LOL!!!!

July 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKasia R.

Just so you know, DO NOT try to pull the ribbon free if a little (or even a lot) projects out the back of the cat. The ribbon can kink and perforate intestine if tugged on. You are doing the right thing with watchful waiting. Otherwise, just grit your teeth and take him to the vet if he is straining.

July 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamera

It's been a bad week for me and your commentary on here made me genuinely smile and laugh. Thank you.

(PS I hope Tonks is okay.. not that I like cats but I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to one)

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

You named your cat Tonks? Thats just plain AWESOME.

July 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes, it happens with kids- my sister ate tinsel from the Christmas tree one year, so the stories my mom could tell....and usually does, while we're eating spaghetti. I think I'll just have a piece of bread...

August 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha, hope the cat's okay now. Mine ate the inner plastic wrapper of a peperami two weeks ago, which meant two delightful weeks of observation, gentle laxatives and picking through his poop.

Seems, however, that the plastic used can be digested, so that was good. He rewarded me with a fresh shrew the first day he was allowed out again *rolleyes*

August 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAoife

The plastic overkill cake above Palmer's had me wondering, who the heck would want to have a cake with dismembered Dora and Snoopy heads?

And has Neverland now branched into cloning as an answer to the decline in belief of fairies? Tink will live on ... forever!

August 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There was a reason my bulldog's nickname was "Hanky-butt."

August 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha...you would think that too much decor on that last cake...I mean come on?! Chocking possibility...99.9%! lol ;) xx

October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I know I'm late to the party on this, but I just discovered it not too long ago, and in addition to checking new posts, I'm also going day by day through the old ones...

ANYway...

I feel your pain RE: Tonks here... my kitten is addicted to plastic shopping bags... seriously... I keenly felt the shame the night I came home, saw him running in tight circles, and laughing b/c I thought he was chasing his tail... then the horror when I realized that what he was chasing was a 4" long poo-covered plastic scrap... didn't even wait to find a paper towel... but I did immediately run to the bathroom for a 10 minute hand wash after that...

Poor little thing....

January 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLee V.

These wreckerators
must secretly read your blog.
They shout, "More! More!! More!!!"

July 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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