My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's Our Name? And What Are We Celebrating?

Yesterday we came together as a nation to celebrate. What we were celebrating depends on which bakery you visited.

This one is really fond of "Ame:"

The good news is that this is a "display only" cake. So your cake probably won't look like this.
It'll be much, much worse.

Here's a bakery that appreciates blue bananas and dive-bombing banana spiders:

Yellow Spider: "Cowabungaaa!!!"

Blue Banana: "Spiders. Why does it always have to be spiders?"

Of course, most bakeries went with the traditional "Redesign the American Flag" contest:

See, when you put the blue bit in the middle, it's more balanced.

Another option:

Because stripes are so last century.

Then there was the slightly less popular but still wildly successful "Redesign America" contest:

All these years, and I had no idea I was living in a giant uvula.

And finally, there were the bakeries who didn't know what they were celebrating any more than their customers did.

Today doesn't need yesterday OR tomorrow. Yeah. So there.

Either that plastic flag is upside down, or this is a really patriotic volcano/mushroom cloud. Or - OR - the American version of the eye of Sauron: the eye of Sam, maybe? Eh? Eh? Bwahahahaaa!

Hm? No, actually, I didn't get much sleep last night. Why do you ask?

Free dome enjoys ringing. Free dome wants to ring.
So let the dome ring, man. Let it ring.

Thank goodness wreckporter Gina asked this bakery what "4ID" stood for.

Can you guess what the answer was?

Hah, no, after that. And then after, "I don't know, let me ask my manager?"

If you guessed "For Independence Day," then you either text too much or manage this bakery. Or, possibly, both.

Sally B., Ariel L., Elizabeth J., Leslie J., Rebekah W., Laura T., Beth H., Jaela N., Dawnan H., & Gina P., gr8 w!

« Sam's Club | Main | Sunday Sweets: Miss Independent »

Reader Comments (88)

The CCC sort of looks like udders. Maybe it is a tribute to the farmlands. It seems they don't like many of the other states anyways.

Some people like milk with their cake, apparently.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

"God bless Ame..." is obviously the visible part of a pre-fab message, probably on paper. The giant 'cake wreck awareness ribbon' / horse collar (we're talking serious frosting here) was added to hold the edges down. Pointy-haired Boss would be proud of the engineering that went into that.

Is the American flag that hard to come by this time of year? Might not one see a proper example on the way to the wreckery? Or elsewhere in the store, perhaps?

Next, Carl's Jr. covers America (with frosting). Why the United Cupcakes would be on a burlap background escapes me. Nice rendition of the Isthmus of Florida, though.

Speaking of CC's, Uncle Sam's hat with an upside down flag could be appropriate. These wreckerators certainly need some kind of help...

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Well, not meaning to attack nice folk or defend dimwits, but Americans play pretty fast and loose with their Stars & Stripes. From Captain America's shield to string bikinis to bumper stickers, as long as it has a star, a stripe and red, white & blue are the colours, any design is patriotic.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBlaze

4ID?? I would have never guessed!
Oh my, oh my ... don't know what else to say!

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRita

Cake 5:
Am I the only one who sees a grinchy hand reaching to pluck a star right off that cake.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Happy Independent Day?

I am disappoint. :-|

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael Baron

I personally love to celebrate Independant Day by letting freedome ring. God Bless Ame.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As per Homer Simpson - it's not a uvula, it's "America's wang".

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Glad "4ID" was explained. If you live in the Ft. Hood area, 4ID means 4th Infantry Division!

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I couldn't get a pic, but I saw a 4th of July cake at a local grocery store this weekend that was an extremely artfully done CCC (patoie etc) of a big crab. Claws, eyestalks, etc. Crab. With "Happy 4th of July" written on it, spelled correctly and written beautifully. On a CRAB.


July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You contrast today's cakes with the "Sunday Sweets" cakes, and you weep. Not with joy, either.

wv - salast - Salast time I expect a baker to actually know what Independence Day means... Sigh...

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Number 8 is a smurf with a red and white beard. He's trendy.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL! Because stripes are so last century. Well, y'know, horizontal stripes aren't very slimming & what with everyone being so weight conscious these days, just saying.

Wow when did Florida get as big as Texas???

Oooo the eye of Sam, so that's what that light really is on top of the Washington Monument.

Could the last one's be anymore uninspired.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

I actually LOVE the first cake. My name is Ame and my birthday is on July 4th. I about fell out of my chair when I saw this blog. That cake would have been perfect for me yesterday!!
--Ame Franks

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAme


4th Infantry Division

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank goodness you're here to provide Wreckage Translation. Otherwise I would have humiliated myself by allowing free dome to Bing.

Is it too late to move to Canada? Or did we go too far with our butchered songs and menstrual cakes?

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjennl777

"ID" is my usual abbreviation for identify or identification. I suppose I'm for identification...

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNJS

I would ask 4ID of the person that made that cake. And then promptly smack them with a candle for taking a shortcut lol. I had to look at yesterdays cakes just so I wouldn't cry looking at these but that blue "banana" nearly had me choking with laughter until I saw the spiders and hid under my chair.. I hate spiders lol.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Looking at the mushroom Sauron jellyfish cake made me wonder: doesn't flotsam usually come with a pointy end that you shove into the poor defenceless cake in order to make it stay put? I get the odd feeling that maybe the pointy end is on the wrong end of the flag. I'm an Aussie and even I know which way up it's meant to be :D

wv - tedukerc: the sad little choking sound made when one accidentally swallows the flotsam

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

That 70s show! :) Free Dome wants a popsicle...go get him a popsicle man!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel P

Wow... is that supposed to be a yellow ribbon, on the first cake? As for the bananas on cake #2 my vote is for fireworks, but that certainly doesn't explain the spiders. Mushroom cloud = supposed to be Uncle Sam's hat works for me! And, I too thought the Harry Potter reference was a slightly modified Indiana Jones reference, lol.

Saturday night I has this dream where a woman I knew (who I don't know in real life) had three sons, and they all qualified to go on this tv show. You know what show it was? It was the Kay Krex show, WITH Bakerella! So I'm sitting there in this public place (in the dream) sobbing because I don't get to be on tv with Kay Krex and Bakerella. :(

...I *think* it's 'cause I'd spent a couple hours catching up on this blog and then found out about some cake contests on Bakerella's blog, ( but it could also be a sign of my heart's true desire.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeedleFishy

Does anyone else think the 'things' on the second cake are ribbed, albeit patriotic, condoms...or is it just me?

As for the spiders? Not going there. No way. Nuh uh.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

Agreed that the 4ID cake likely was supposed to be ID4, because of the movie. There could be worse things they put on there, obviously, but why would you decorate a cake with something when even YOU don't know what it means?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura E. Jordan

I totally got the 4ID cakes, but it's because people started calling the movie Independence Day ID4 after a while.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The sideways one with the light blue and the stripes--what IS it?? Is it a flag? Is it an Uncle Sam hat? WHAT IS IT =0

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

I'm just going to pretend those last ones were a tribute to my husband's old unit, the Fourth Infantry Division, even though the unit's color, green, and it's symbol, ivy, do not show up, even remotely.

But it all makes sense now...sort of! And any other explanation just doesn't...make sense.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Whitten

Actually, it would violate the US Flag Code to make an actual flag cake, as flags are not supposed to be placed on temporary objects that will be thrown away, eaten, etc (including napkins). There's no penalty for violating the Flag Code, but maybe the bakers are avoiding the real design so as not to annoy the purists, hyperpatriots, and/or former Boy Scouts. (I know enough of the Flag Code that I am amused when people violate it in the course of trumping up their patriotism).

Or maybe that's giving the bakers too much credit. :)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLihtox

Why couldn't they have been butterflies?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

the mushroom cloud looks like a hat to me

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That 4ID cake wasn't sold in Arizona, was it?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGale

The '4ID' cake reminds me of when Independence Day with Will Smith came out. All the local cinemas had 'ID4' instead of the actual title up.

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire D

Yay Harry Potter Reference!

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

ok #2 looks like an independence day inspired pack of condoms!

check out my blog:

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

4th Infantry Division?

July 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was thinking the last cake stood for the 4th Infantry Division; of the US Army. I guess it would depend on where the baker is from.

July 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have never laughed so hard

July 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I have never laughed so much in my life. I was crying and I think I peed my pants at the same time.

September 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrobin

Banana spiders
know they must strike now, while the
naner is burnt black.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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