My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sam's Club

Frequently, a bakery will receive a kit of plastic flotsam to construct a cakey character. This past week, the character of choice has been dear old Uncle Sam. Or at least, I think it has.


As a reminder, here's Uncle Sam:


Cake, you say? Your wish is my command, Sammy!




Pinstripes have never been more slimming.
Why, you can practically see right through him!


I was unaware that Uncle Sam had access to my grandfather's closet:


Remember: The higher you hike your pants, the more you love America!

Here Uncle Sam stars (and stripes) in "Red, White, and You!: A Musical"

Aaand...Jazz hands! Kick, ball, change... kick, ball, change...



Sweet Betsy Ross' ghost, are those cannonballs in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


Ug, I can't look at these wretched CCC's any longer. I need to see a real cake that actually looks somewhat like the famous personification of our Federal Government, Uncle Sam. C'mon, bakers!



A Shih Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. Wow.
God Bless America.



You know, Asia P, Shelley B., Kayla T., Jordan J., and Beckie, that last cake could also be rock guitarist Buckethead, famous for shredding out tunes while sporting a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head. Hey, I smell a conspiracy! Or maybe just too much icing...



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Reader Comments (105)

"A Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket."

Did not see that one coming. Should have learned by now not to take a big mouthful of water BEFORE scrolling down.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Shitzu wearing a popcorn bucket - hahaha. Did you notice the eyes follow you everywhere?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The commentary on the last one made me spit my coffee all over the computer screen. :)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

A Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. ROFL

That description is spot-on! Meanwhile, #3 looks like an anatomy lesson gone astray. A skeleton with two femurs and no ribs....but a skeleton nonetheless.

and call me crazy, but I like the cannonball jacket. it's cartoonishly festive, albeit lumpy.

my s-i-l has a shitzu. I have to to show her that picture....she'd buy him a cake.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I just need to point this out (and I'm not sure why - normally I can just let my inner Spelling Police lay dormant, but for some reason I can't this time): Shih Tzu. I would not know this is the proper spelling, except that we have a Shih Tzu and I made myself learn how to spell it correctly).

Also, "Jazz Hands" Uncle Sam is really amusing me.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Thomans

Jazz-hands Uncle Sam has some... ahem... suspicious red bulgy areas in the lap region. He really likes Independence Day... or has gout.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeeAnn

I just feel the need to point this out (and I'm not sure why, because normally I can keep my inner Spelling Police in check, but...I can't): Shih Tzu. I wouldn't know this except that we have a Shih Tzu and I forced myself to learn the proper spelling.

Also, love "Jazz Hands" Uncle Sam.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Thomans


Jen, it seems your work is never done. This post has convinced me to go on a nationwide tour of bakeries, to decry the evils of CCCs.

wv: nerchie
quite coincidentally, this was the sound I made in the back of my throat upon seeing these wrecks.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercorianne

"A Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. Wow."

Umm yea that just totally made my day LOL

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Uncle Sam #3 might want to make an appointment with his urologist! Yikes!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh man...I just snorted coffee out my nose. That last one is especially horrifying. I'm always in awe in how people can make these things and not be totally embarassed by them...

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpostmommy

I think that "Shitzu" looks more like a "Maltese"! ;o)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket - hilarious. I'm crying from laughing so hard.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those CCC's look like a cross between Keebler Elves and Colonel Sanders.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

I think that last one is a Pokemon character. Or something? A snowman?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

That last one looks like someone's version of a Greatful Dead piece of art, doesn't it?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Geez, I always knew Uncle Sam had a pair but the drooping codpiece on Fabulous Musical Sam there is downright creepy. Or maybe he just needs his prostate checked. Either way...nrrrrggghhhh*shudder*.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

A VAMPIRE Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. Look at the eyes...

WV - Shallie - The eternal wreckorator's dilemma: "Shallie use the flotsam kit, or shallie just invent my own special, unique wreck?"

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I-yi-yow! Those are some... err... interesting Uncle Sam CCC's (Pattooie) I can't wait until the world gets over this CCC fad.

At least the shoes got a break on the last one!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkosmic

I think the third one is Uncle Sam-as-football-player. Or maybe a football player's x-ray.

The last one has demonic eyes. :(

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

*blink* He looks like Colonel Sanders in those plastic heads. :|

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterS

The last one is hysterical!!
My 4 yr old daughter said it was terrible.
Next time I make popcorn I'm going to check the house for any stray shitz tzus first...

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

"A Shitz Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket."

AHHHAHAHA! Too funny!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Definitely,the shih-tzu wins, paws down. Seriously though, all that plastic crap. It ends up in landfills and the ocean, doesn't it? That's about as depressing as their role in making ugly cakes and depriving bakers of their imagination and skills. Even if the latter are dubious :)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoggypie

These are GREAT...horribly great!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

Laugh out loud funny today Jen!

All those Uncle Sams are kinda bow-legged. With really big blue hips. "Do these cupcakes make my hips look big?"

That shitzsu will haunt me in the movie theater from now on, with its big blue eyes boring into mine every time I reach into the popcorn bucket. Do you hear cellos?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

It's Shih Tzu.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nevermind that the words "Uncle Sam" and "CCC" should not be in the same sentence when ordering --or ever. However my mother disagrees with the last one. It is not a Shiztu, but an albino hamster with a hat.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergingerzing1967

I really thought the original Uncle Sam had a striped hat,not all white like the example pic. Not that it's any excuse for the CCCs...

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe rabbi's wife

The "shih tzu wearing a popcorn bucket" looks like everyone's favorite paper-thin rapping dog," rel="nofollow">PaRappa the Rapper.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoshua

That last one made me laugh so hard.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I think we've got a post where the actual cake is worse than the CCC's!

My mom has a 3 month old Shih Tzu puppy and it was like her face was staring back at me, begging her to save her from the wreckerator.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Jen: it's Shih Tzu, not Shitz Tzu. Tsk Tsk Tsk. :)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

bwahahahaha those are fugly

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

um, speaking of ball change, anyone notice that the positioning of the "leg" cupcakes in the third CCC was a bit, uh, unfortunate? The white icing looks enough like pant legs that the spillover of the red looks waaaaaay too much like a stuffed groin...

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

People, UNITE!
Refuse all flotsom in protest. Depictions of Uncle Sam are butt ugly and just wrong.
Let stores have to get rid of these horrors.
Jen, love your bonmots.


July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Do other countries have to put up with this sort of nonsense?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

Better watch out...PETA will come get you for the Shitz Tzu comment...

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahaha, the "musical" sam has one giant ball, lolol.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLuna Nightshade

Oops I apologize, I didn't look at the post closely enough--kudos to Number 1 for the laugh out loud funnies today.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

That last one looks like Dr. Seuss' Cat in the Hat.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Yet another reminder to never think that wrecks can't get any worse. And I thought yesterday was awful....

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

cannon balls indeed. the popcorn bucket was just in need of blue star stickers...ahahaha!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, the first one wasn't that bad, but unfortunately it just went downhill from there. Although I will say that for CCC's (ptoie!) with plastic flotsam, these are probably some of the least offensive examples thereof. Which is scary.

The last one--I dunno, I was thinking more of a KFC bucket than popcorn, but I understand where you're coming from. ;)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Dude. Those are some serious 'muffin-tops'. Poor old Sam's been putting on some weight over the years. Aren't we all.

More cake, anyone?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sorry, but that last one is just plain evil. The eyes!

WV: uncysor. I'd give my uncysor for a cake like that!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

The last one the hat kinda looks like the hats worn at Hot Dog on a Stick!! Those were GREAT!!! I love your blogs. I always have to go on here once a day.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Popcorn, fireworks, tomayto, tomahto – hey, they both explode! And what's more patriotic than exploding things? ;-)

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*Shih Tzu

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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