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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb172010

Cakes Only A Mother Could Love

 

I think the following cakes are really special. Like seeing a beautiful newborn for the first time, these baby shower cakes leave me… well, speechless.

 

What a coincidence! E.T. was on my TV today, too!

 

Ethan... phone home...
(and tell your parents Jersey Shore called. They want their tan back.)


"Hi, bakery? I have a baby shower coming up. Do you make cupcakes?"

 

 

"Baby shower CUP cakes? Yeah. We can 'handle' that."

 

 

If you squint your eyes, it’s actually not a baby at all, but a bronzed, muscular man in a wife-beater popping out of the cup. See it? See it? Let’s call him Joe. He must be posing for his mug-shot. Just look at those eyes! He really knows how to espresso himself, doesn't he?


Thanks to Dawn M. for finding these little bundles of joy. It's been a latte fun!

 

- Related wreckage: The Creepiness Continues

« Wacked Out Wrecks | Main | Sports Sense »

Reader Comments (103)

This looks like something they might serve at one of those "abstinance education" classes, to scare you out of having sex (forever).

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

such an odd contrast between the pretty nice tv & cup to the creepy babies!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Uh... yikes?

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I would guess that Ethan was anencephalic but making a cake of that would be in extremely bad taste.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

See, on that first one I see an orange frog sitting on a microwave.
"Please...please don't fry me!"
Mmmmmmm..... orange frog legs.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Those are definitely the most creepy baby shower cakes yet.

wv - coadic: These cakes are a different sort of coadic moment.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Oh wow..these are just on another level of creepy..

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

I'm so confused. The television and the cup are well-made; were the ugly babies on purpose? Or do the respective bakers have prosopagnosia? I'm leaning towards the second.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

No squinting necessary to see the beefy guy in the wife beater. Had to squint to see it as a baby in a diaper!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynnette

Aargh! Again: like the horrible baby creature in Kingdom Hospital (the Danish version)... Man, babies are gross :/

(Wv: abies - a coincidence?)

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhattalahutta

I can totally see the muscular man!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLe

I think the thing that disturbs me most about the last one is that the liquid in the cup is kind of a mottled green-brown. I think I'd prefer not to know what "Joe" is getting up to in that cup...

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKagehikaru

Really, really ugly and disgusting.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

What in the name of all that's holy were those bakers thinking?!?! I swear that first one looks just like my baby did...when they pulled him out (C section) halfway and half of him was still in. And although like all new parents we insanely took a picture of that because we were so happy he was here...I would take a fork to the eye before wanting THAT on a cake. And that's a picture we only show to people who reaaaaaaaallly are medically inclined or love us to death. :) In fact, as I started scrolling, I honestly thought that what was below the baby was going to BE some woman's stomach in mid C section...that's exactly how much it looked like it. I was almost relieved it was a TV.

But then that brings up a whole new host of questions: Why is a burnt, bloody baby bursting from the TV? WHY? Was the mom really the first woman impregnated by an alien and this was how she gave birth...in Roswell?

I would have more thoughts but I have to go lie down now.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrascalmom

Ethan looks like some Aztec or Mayan god... And how the italian guy managed to get stuck in that cup beats me.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercosas de cocina

Kagehikaru read my mind, the liquid in the cup combined with the creepy orange glow of the "babies" is the most creepy to me.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterzann

Yeeeeeeek!

And why is the coffee **green**??

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralynxia

*wimpers*

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPaisley

i once had a dream in which a little gremlin was chasing me... that first "baby" bares an uncanny resemblence!

wv: messete. I nearly messeted my pants when the creepy gremlin baby jumped out of the alley and attacked!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Aw, that's so sweet that you posted John Boehner's baby photos.

Hm, what's that? That's cake?

Um...

*screams in terror and flees the room*

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

.............. :|

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

And here I thought that second one was a pig in a cup...

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Those are horrific.

Ethan's eyes...

*shifting side to side*

He's following me...

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakingdom

*barfing*

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

I've always believed one should choose one's own career. Whatever makes one happy, you know? And honestly, of all the wrecks I've seen here, not one has made me say to myself: "Some people just should not try to be cake decorators."

Until now.

Please put down the fondant roller and airbrush, hon. Back away. No, further. Keep going.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Hold me...I'm so frightened!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

Joe is not a man in a wifebeater. Joe is the Queen of Heart's piglet in a bonnet. My God, a baby like that would put one off the continuation of the species.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

i think i saw these guys in jars at the Mutter Museum a few months ago...

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermaria

Uh......
What exactly IS that the creepy baby is swimming in?
~ shudder ~

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

I read this post three times before it sunk in that these are really baby shower cakes. Why is Ethan wearing an Amish bonnet? I don't think the Amish use tv's.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

I think "Joe" looks like a genie in a turban rising out of a very unique "magic lamp". Quick make a wish ...

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Why are they orange?!?

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I'm worried about the blue surrounding Joe's head. Looks too much like the halos over the heads of the Holy Family in Renaissance paintings. Clearly a wife-beater like Joe would not have a halo so what could it be?

There must not be much to watch on that TV, because the TV Guide is awfully small.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why?!?! Cutting a cake with a human figure on it is gross enough, but I'm not sure these babies are human. Alien babies perhaps?

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

Holy moley! Those "babies" look like something from a horror movie!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlbatross

Those babies look like the mutant psychic creature in Total Recall (the one hiding under the dude's jacket) ... gone to "Oompa-loompa."
Ugh!

(And if you've gone to Oompa-loompa, it's time to put down the self-tanner or walk away from the tanning bed!!)

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElena

Wow, really punny today! Love the "cup cake" routine.

The wife beater is scary with that blue fro/bathing cap.

The roasted alien baby is really scary. What's with the Amish cap? I thought it was a boy!

wv: gauta. Those cakes are freaking me out. I gauta get outta here.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Am I the only one who sees the Buddha in the first cake? Yes? Okay...

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why is the TV Guide a little black book? What kind of channels are they watching? and how is this related to a new alien baby?

Inquiring minds want to know....

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I did take the time to read all that was on the first one and thought it was too bad because: Cute idea...creepy alien lobster baby

The second looks like he is being thrown into "The Dip" in Who Framed Roger Rabbit

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

*sobbing* Mommy!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it's the half-human/half-alien baby from "V" (the '80's version).

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can't deal with the puns. OMG too funny.

"Jersey Shore called... they want their tan back"?! BWAHAHAHAHA

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelis

.......were the mothers inseminated by aliens?

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yikes! I can tell they used the Wilton 3D Teddy Bear pan for these........but what a mess!

The verification word is "throp" as in a Misanthrop(e) made these cakes!

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

Those are insanely awful looking! If I saw them in person, I'd have to restrain myself from covering them so they wouldn't look at me anymore! Uck.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

People didn't actually PAY for those, did they?

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Oh. My. Lord.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

...why is Joe swimming in a cup of the Hudson River???

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

The only explanation is that these bakers have recently watched Eraserhead by David Lynch.

February 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

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