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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug312010

Now THAT'S Italian

Today's post has a special Read-Along Feature!
Press play before scrolling down to get the full "Italian" flavor.



Ay everybody! Giusseppe Sarducci here froma Ma Biga Freakin Italiana Cake located ina beautiful downtown Trenton. We specialize ina making da biggest, freakina cakes you ever dida see. An we gotta somatin new!

Looka dat!

Even da leetle Bambina, she knows! She'sa sayin, "Ay! Dasa one biga freakina cake! I mean looka dat! What isa dat, lika twenty-seven feet a cake?! Who needsa more cake dena dat?!?

Now you might be asking youself, "Isa ma cake gonna be so beautiful like the one ina da picture?" You know it!

Firs, we starta wita da cake which isa twelve eenchess high, ten eenchess wide ana twenty-seven feet long. Den, we squeeze rowa after row ofa brown "icing" ona top.

[kissing fingertips] Bueno!

Denna, we take what we lika to call "dirt" ana we put dat ona top too!

Isa so beautiful!

Finally, we taka a biga tubba cream, ana put DAT ona top, too!

Everyting go ona top!

Ana one more ting! Ma uncle Guido, he make'a da bessa squiggles ana dots you eva dida see so we puta dose ona da cake too! It's mucho cucina bella farfalla cappelini lasagna!! Mach schnell!

So calla Ma Biga Freakin Italiana Cake today. Because ifa is nota Freakin Big...

...is nota cake! Ciao!

You mighta wanna check out our Five Minute University too!

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Reader Comments (104)

I got a little bit of a JarJar Binks vibe from this post. Hilarious!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany Blais

looks like a long line of doodoos or hot dogs and meatballs all piled up. definitely not attractive and does not look very enticing.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersarah

That cake is to Italy as "Jersey Shore" is to Italy... not so much!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela K. Nickerson

i didn't think it was possible to love this blog anymore but you guys make it better and better all the time!! More videos!! More voice overs!!! This is afreakin' awesome!!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaya

Uh... Yikes!

My 3 yr old said "oh look at that dragon."

I like her version.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather and daughter

It was really difficult to react to the horrifying photos and follow along at the same time. I mean, I needed a lot of time for the mess to sink in.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little.

The important thing is, "mach schnell" was the icing on-- wait, um, I can't say it that way... ummm... it was... the best way to end a string of random Italian words put together. Yeah.

Freaking comedy gold!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaireBear

A little confused here. So, is the Italian theme just for fun or does the cake actually represent Italian culture in some way. I'm half Italian and like the others on here, I've never seen a cake like this, so I'm just trying to figure out where the Italian comes in. I did think the captioning was hilarious though!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, John, I tell-a you what. That-a voice, he sound-a awfully familiar! Maybe he's-a Father-a Guido Sarducci? I can-a hear it-a now. Father-a Guido sez, "Find-a da Pope in-a da cake." Hey, dat's-a million-a dollar idea, I tell-a you what! :D

Ah, the joy of fantastically over-done and politically incorrect accents. Love it? Fug-gead-aboudit!

Carmen, the Un-Stalker

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Alphabet Gang

That looks like 1 inch of chocolate cake on blocks of styrofoam. I'm not sure that really qualifies as a "cake".

Actually, aren't we looking at 2 different, um, ... purportedly cakelike objects?

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

Brilliant!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I LOVE this cake--it is a hedonistic cake/pastry orgasm! The pink stuff looks to be baked meringue.

Sometimes, it is wonderful to go so completely over the top!

I'm going into a diabetic coma just looking at it--and I'm not even diabetic!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermatthewrmt

Does anyone else think that in the first photo, it looks like the cake is topped with hot dogs?

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Love the Father Guido Sarducci-voice. Too perfect for that perfectly, ummm...errr..big freakin' cake.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

I guess I'm the only person to find the commentary offensive, and I'm not even Italian.

You don't have to post this comment, but I thought it was important to tell you that I love CW and enjoy the posts, but lately it seems a little desperate, as if you're trying too hard to be edgy, especially with the profusion of R-rated posts. Some are funny, but how about a more balanced blog?

There are so many wrecks out there - there has to be plenty of material you can work with that isn't insensitive to a culture or ethnicity, or reminiscent of a phallic object. JMHO. :)

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjennifer m

Great post.

And Renee, I think "fantshea" is Sean Connery for "fancy." Heh.

WV: nutst. How Wisonsin folks say nuts. My hubby sticks a 't' on the end of anything that ends in 's'.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrydwynn

This was a hilarious post! Include more audio clips in the future!!! :)

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I completely agree with Elissa. I was a little confused. This is CakeWrecks. Why am I looking at hotdogs? haha.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLida

I appear to be the only commenter who saw pink elephant-like critters at the end, so do I need to examine my imbibing habits?
Also, I appreciate that CW Equally uses the Opportunity to embarrass every culture it can sorta pronounce.

WV: jacksw: gender-specific chainsaw

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarb Koumjian

Jennifer M.

Jen and I spend a HUGE amount of time looking over every post for anything that might be offensive. You'd be surprised how hard it is to catch everything. But I wanted to address your points because I think they're interesting.

First off, there are never any "R" rated cakes on our site. Don't get me wrong, there is innuendo. But no child will ever look at one of our cakes and think they're anything but castles and space shuttles.

Secondly, there was nothing derogatory about today's post. It's just a funny Italian accent and several people have already commented that some of their relatives sound just like that. So the questions are, is it insensitive because I am not Italian? Is it okay if I have an Italian background? Why does nobody give us a hard time when we use a British accent?

I think the most important question is whether you associate accents with lack of intelligence, because I have a huge amount of respect for people who are bilingual. I guess I've always thought that an accent should be a source of pride. My father, the most intelligent man I know, speaks English with a Canadian accent.

On another note, yes both of the cakes in today's post are from Italy. I don't know if it's a traditional style but even with the poo and dirt I'd still eat it.

john

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Now that's what I call ridiculously large!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

..is the last one the result of a mass vomit?

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I just threw up in my mouth. In a good, non-mean spirited way.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!
I cannot stop laughing.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

If you would have asked me a year ago if Cake Wrecks could get any better I would have said no, but you guys just keep getting better. I love Cake Wrecks!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMy name is Michelle.

HH
Now that has to be the funniest post yet...the music, the speaker, the cake
a total package!!!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whoa. How many people does that thing feed???

-French Bean

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFrench Bean & Coffee Bean

Oh my...Thanks for the laugh. I loved having the audio to this post! It was perfection!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

Please, oh please, do more posts with listen-along features.

This? Was histerical!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersami

I think I just developed diabetes from reading this.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Captain's Blog

Mach schnell!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter-Sea Nymph-

Ahh, Cake Wrecks! Where hilarity and nausea wrestle for dominance on a daily basis.
And now with a multi-sensory experience - as if the nausea and hilarity weren't enough!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

Just for the record, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your humor!!! I can count on Cakewrecks to make my day, every day!!! Carpe' D'Cake!!!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Julian XIII

so. freakina. funny. bueno!! (kisses fingertips)

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraliceinwonderland14

Wow.
Thanks John, I really needed that laugh today. You two have kept me in giggles during a hard time this summer.
Thanks!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

Just because lots of people seem to like the pidgin Italian doesn't mean it isn't offensive or in poor taste.

Re-cast it with "oh lawdy, lawdy me, dis shoa am some nasty cake right heah". Howabout "Ah so! Dis cake is vely, vely, flightening!"

Offensive? You bet.

Generally speaking, exaggerated stereotypes about the way other groups of people are supposed to talk are offensive.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

John, dear, just because you use a fake accent doesn't make it offensive. Using an unnatural accent, *while* using fractured/uneducated language *and* casting a particularly disgusting culinary "achievement" by a very specific culture (as well as claiming to be "inspired" by Jersey Shore) makes it possibly offensive. Personally, I wasn't offended by today's post, but all of the above reasons made it pretty uncomfortable to read and, perhaps as a result, made this the most unfunny post I think I've ever read on this blog. Such a shame, since you and Jen have been one of the rare beacons of consistency in an otherwise inconsistent interwebz. And to address your comment about not being reamed for using British accents: using a British accent is not ridiculing the British culture; however, using fractured English with a stereotypical Italian accent is to abjectly ridicule a culture that had previously, and continues to suffer bigotry, discrimination, internment (yup, during WWII) and racial violence (no help from shows such as Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious). And to be perfectly clear, I am not Italian, nor is anyone in my family Italian; I just happen to know a bit about the history.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwurd nurd

In regards to being offended by the "Italian" accent:

Get a life.

Have you ever sat at a major airport and watched the people? How many of them can you identify with a nationality or region by their dress, way they walk, or speech? Are you unfairly applying bigoted labels to them? What do you really know about a person by looking at them or listening to them? Reality is that we all prejudge based on appearance and speech. You may try to consciously stay neutral or be unbiased, but it is really difficult if not impossible.

Language and cultural differences are part of who we are as humans. We can either celebrate those differences, compliment other regional and national differences by recognizing them, or we can try to be homogenous white bread and Jell-o nobodies that don't offend anybody by being different.

And even then SOMEBODY would take offense. It's human nature.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmazing Cakes By Vanessa!

No Italians I know speak like that, but I thought it was fun, and only mocking in exactly the same style as of the possible thought processes of every wreckerator featured here. There's no implication that poo cakes are a function of ethnicity, and I read the silly Italian as mocking Jen and John for inability to produce more authentic Italian, not denigrating the real language.

My word verification is puglusi, which is probably really bad Italian for poo cake.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Anon @ 4:59,

Interesting. I almost didn't post your comment because it just sounded so racist. What I have a hard time understanding is if it's ever okay in today's culture to point out any difference ever. For instance, what if I said that a cake looked wicked good, ayuh? Is that wrong? What if I told you I was from Maine and that's the way I speak naturally? I guess I always consider the tone of the writing when casting judgment. Did the writer intend to be cruel? When I wrote this, I intended it to sound like the SNL character Guido Sarducci who I think sounds pretty cool and witty.

Wurd Nurd,

First off, both of the cakes are from Italy, I used no broken English only an accent, and I made no references at all to Jersey Shore. I've never even seen the show.

The idea that accent equals ridicule is absurd. Colloquialisms denote location of birth and nothing more. Accents of a foreign origin generally mean a person is bilingual. Neither of those warrants scorn.

Finally, I'm mostly Irish. You know your history so you must know that the Irish people are some of the most hated and persecuted people in the history of mankind. So the question is, should I write a letter demanding that General Mills drop the accent from the Lucky Charms commercial? Would that be an overreaction?

I'm sorry you didn't like the post.

john

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Hey, there! Just a shout out from 100% authentic Italian, here...a few comments for those who thought the post was racist:

1. Although the accent was pretty good for an American, I can promise you that you will never walk into someone in Italy that talks like that. The accent was purely for comical effect.

2. I am an Italian near-purebred, and I do not sense any more derogatory stereotyping in this post than is included in Cake Boss, a leading TLC tv show. No offense taken!

3. I loved the creativity and humor! This was a great post. People who have a problem with it are most likely

a) not Italian
b) overly sensitive (eg. no sense of humor)
c) think about being politically correct so much that they become unpolitically correct, themselves, by posting such absurdities
d) (most likely) all of the above

I am not offended in any way and I thought this was hilarious. Meh, I give you both full permission to censor any more of these comments with nonsense about racism. It's a shame we live in a society where any gesture at an individual being a different nationality and not a communistic-ly identical being is counted as "racist". Italians are glad about their heritage and do not mind other trying to imitate or humor themselves with it, as long as the respect is maintained!

Wreck on! :D

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I likea da special Read-Along Feature! Grazie!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke (Mudhooks)

LOVE THE AUDIO!!!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

"Re-cast it with "oh lawdy, lawdy me, dis shoa am some nasty cake right heah". Howabout "Ah so! Dis cake is vely, vely, flightening!""

I've never heard anyone speak like the first example, but if you drop the "ah so" (short for "ah so desu ka" meaning something like "I see"), the second part is exactly how my mother in law speaks. If her son, my husband, is imitating her, it's how he talks because it's how SHE talks, when she speaks English. She cannot say my name; she can't even say, properly, the names of her 3 children (r, l, and v are prominent in them), because those consonants simply aren't in her language of birth, and it's HARD to learn them (as hard as it is for an English speaker to learn THEIR languages and get THEIR consonants perfect) And since she's bilingual (trilingual actually, having been forced to learn Japanese in her childhood, but she won't speak that), she speaks English quite a lot.

Noticing differences isn't racism, and if you think that simply noticing a difference IS racism, then that's in *your* head from how *you* feel about the group of people being noticed.

And FWIW, they aren't on the planet anymore, but my first stepdad's grandparents, from Italy, certainly DID speak like the post! Sounded very much like the character of F.G.Sarducci. Absolutely. English classes have almost surely gotten better, and probably more people take them, when coming over...the step great grandparents didn't take classes, they just had to learn on the fly...

So that's at least two old-school, long-dead, Italian-born people just from my extended family who did speak like that...

For the record, if I didn't see that cake being made, I'd eat it and most likely love it. I love cake and love icing!

WV: poressm...I'd need to poressm beer, which is what I prefer with cake. while eating that cake b/c the icing would make my mouth dry out!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMollyB

OMG I JUST DIED LAUGHING!!!!!!!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerrrs-uh

Heh! It certainly does catch my eye!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

"Cake Wrecks! Where hilarity and nausea wrestle for dominance on a daily basis."

T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

Um, is it wrong that I read this whole thing with the voice of Mario from Super Mario Bros. in my head? Itsa me, MAARIO! LOL

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCulinarychiq

I'll admit, I kind of read the comments primarily to see how many people flipped out to the effect of "OMG that is the most racist post I have ever seen!!!" It took a long time to get to any negative comments, so my hopes were temporarily lifted, though predictably dashed.

I think you and Jen do a fantastic job of being funny while providing those with sensitive tastes a way out (when you put disclaimers on the phallic posts, for example.) I also think it is great that you often address the overly offended in the comments, no matter how overwrought the complaint-- they should at least appreciate that. I equally applaud you for not backing down on your decisions. I'm sure that you and Jen put a lot of thought into what you post or don't post, and anyone who reads this site regularly knows you do not set out to be hurtful or offensive.

Keep up the good work.

Oh, and I too thought the first one was some sort of weird sausage collage.

--kate

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Seriously?

foreign accent = comedy is so . . . old timey

I'm a little disappointed that this is the best a couple of brilliant nerds could come up with. But I guess you can't win 'em all. Tomorrow is another day.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha!
The Alphabet Gang beat me to it-
I wasn't able to play the audio clip, but i heard Father Guido Sarducci's voice anyway!

Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuperDaisy

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