My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


It's the beginner's basic: one round(ish) glob o' icing, and one string.

And yet...


Er, sorry, but I'm afraid writing it doesn't make it true.

Well, I AM seeing something that starts with a "B"...

[looking around] Er...

[waving] Hi, kids!

Dude. Are those teeth?

You know what to do when you see packs of wild balloons running in opposite directions, right?

Thaaat's right: Check the expiration on all your prescription meds.

Look at this next Wreck long enough, and you'll begin to ask yourself some interesting questions:

Questions like, "Which way is up? Which way is down? Is that green circle supposed to be the string? And if so, why aren't the balloons attached to it? Hey, am I being Punk'd here? Is that show even ON anymore? And where did my friends go? Do I seem strange, standing here alone in this bakery, questioning a cookie? Answer me, random old woman walking by! ANSWER ME!!

"Oh. Sorry. Well, I didn't know you were called Dennis, now did I?"

Look out, Kerri. They've organized, and they're coming.

Which reminds me:

I bet it's a girl.

Early C., Tracy C., Heather P., Tiffany H., Vikki, Kim M., Kerri K., & Stacey, I'd say something about the sprinkles, but that just seems rude, you know?

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Reader Comments (119)

The only way this could have been improved would have been to give us this gift on a Monday.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Fun to see my name spelled correctly on something! (Kerri)

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeat

I agree with Count Mockula. Those weren't teeth. Imagine them with white strings (instead of black) and you will understand what I saw.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't know why, but when I saw photo #5, with the balloons going in opposite directions, I immediately was reminded of the opening scene of West Side Story. Actually, come to think of it that might be because those were the colors the gangs were wearing in the movie.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

im sure someone had to have seen this... but those teeth are totally tampons!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterchonte

@dietplaid: Your story is sad and so wrong! A mother being involved with her son's bachelor party is not right and eeewww-inducing on SO MANY levels. And who thought it was a good idea to ask a grocery store employee to blow up boobie balloons (actually, the mother providing the boobie balloons is eeewww-inducing, as well)? How does a customer explain that sight to her little one as she rolls past the party department? My suggestion would have been for the son's mother to go to the party store and purchase the home helium tank so she could inflate them herself. Some people have no pride...

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

No. 4 could be saggy boobies with tassels.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the 4th one down (teeth?) looks like tampons!

and i think the last one is a bunch of sperm all reaching the egg at the same time!!!!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking just maybe these wreckerators do things like this on purpose...

"Ok, Bevis -- we get the oval balloons with the squiggly string. But turning the cake sideways for display is just overkill. Go have some coffee."

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

yeah, I saw tampons too... guess i'm not as delicate as Count Mockula, ha!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Must be the "cookie effect" on those ballons. All the hideous balloons were on cookies were they not?
The segregated ones,which actually looked quite balloonish, were the only ones on a cake.
Yeah. No balloons for the cookies.

WV: cheakin
I think some of those wreckerators were cheakin.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherH

Do those cakes say "moistest"? It might technically be a word but gaw is it awkward to say. Not exactly genius advertising there.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

The fourth balloon looks like tampons!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I don't think those were teeth, they looked more like...

*checks for kids, sees none*


September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

These balloons confuse and terrify me.
And they're no even the burst-y kind 0_0.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterC.J Ellis

@Chonte, if you look at the other comments before yours, you weren't the only one who noticed the tampon cake.

These are some really scary cakes.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSB

The white ones there don't look like teeth at all! They definitely look like tampons to me!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrook

Those aren't teeth... they are tampons! (apparently everyone else thinks so too!) :)

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz & Brad

now when someone has a sperm density test for fertility purposes, sometime under the microscope they look a little gimpy. or swim in circles.

Some of these samples (er balloons) remind me of what that might look like. and the cookie (or cake) is just one big petri dish.

the blue ones and red ones on the bottom look like nice, healthy, active sperm, strongly swimming in the same direction. those are fertile cakes.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

well why NOT have tampons on a cake? there's already been a pregnancy test on a cake! at least the tampons weren't real...

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

The which way is up one depicts an eggplant patch.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

"Oh, King, eh? Very nice! And 'ow'd you get that then? By exploiting the workers! By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress..."

"Ooh, Dennis! There's some lovely filth down 'ere! Oh... how d'you do?"

Thanks- I quoted Monty Python all day at work. I'm not sure my coworkers knew I was THAT far gone. *GRIN*

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Awesome. My favorite so far.

The ones that you said look like teeth, actually look like tampons to me. LOL

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCorinne

Great blog setup you have here!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergamefreak3335

That last cake is totally a depiction of sperm fertilizing an egg. See, the sperm-balloon all the way to the left, its attached itself to the zona pellucidia of the egg and is undergoing an acrosome reaction - note the sprinkes representing the contents of the corticle granules.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlopinslo

The "tooth" picture looked more like tampons to my friends and I ... who wasted about an hour this morning after a STRESSFUL meeting on your site. Thanks for the laughs! :)

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Balloon-fail cakes are just tops! But none of these live up to the cake with the teeny-tiny balloons you featured last year, which still reigns as my personal favorite wreckiest of wrecks.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

the third one is not balloons at all (or boobies) it is clearly eyeballs pulled out of their sockets with veins hanging off of them.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Third cake: disembodied eyes, complete with optic nerve.

Fourth cake: As Whitney observed, actually, they're tampons.

WV - dereq: Dereq of a giant cookie is somewhat less tragic, but still...

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Good god, what is wrong with people? At least they did not look like the balloons in your book ;)

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

pretty sure some of those "balloons" running in a circle are actually eggplant, tomatoes, and squash. It's for happy vegetable day... because a cookie is the appropriate thing to serve on a day that's all about healthy foods.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

Are the cake balloon designers on strike? Cuz these all look like they're not even trying...

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJan

"Thaaat's right: Check the expiration on all your prescription meds."


September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Fatso

Have I properly told you how much I appreciate your fine taste in music, movies, and pop culture overall? No? Then here...

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSami

yup, didn't see teeth first glance, either-then I realized the strings were how they were yanked out...(awkward silence)

-Barbara Anne

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, there's this joke where the punch line is:
"They're not condoms! They're balloons! For the party!" I think that's pretty applicable for exhibit 4.

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTyler

Can't believe no one's said it- "OK guys, we'll take the left fallopian tube, y'all take the right!" Go find that egg, guys!

September 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Aw those balloons running away from each other just want to avoid the moistest cake you have ever had.. or whatever that ad said on them lol. Too busy laughing at the ones that looked like boobs. Scary how a wreckerator can turn a balloon into a boob but I am amazingly not surprised by that turn of events..can't stop laughing...

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

No, I bet it's a GRIL.

no dude, those are feminine products

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFreya

Darnit! Amy beat me to it. It probably is a gril.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourt

Supreme executive power derived from a mandate of the masses, not some farcical cake ceremony!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterL.B.

As an ex-grocery store decorator, I gotta admit balloons were the bane of my job! I NEVER figured out how to make those buggers look nice.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ironically, I was reading this while watching a Daily Show report on how we're running out of helium, and the future of party balloons is in danger! At least we'll be spared these wrecks?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

LMBO! The "Teeth" balloons look more like a cotton product only women use... which makes that design even less yummy. But its wrecks like these that make me addictedto the site! Thanks for the morning chuckle!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterD

Does anyone really enjoy eating these giant, frosted chocolate chip cookies? I'm always amazed that these still sell. Seriously, they are way too sweet and taste....gaudy. You know?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPaulitaz

"I love that one, too, with the balloons all pink with cheese on them!"
My four year old enjoys that last one, but the rest were too weird for her. Not enough cheese, perhaps.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No, not "it's a girl." It a Gril!

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarlee

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