My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Oh My Stars!

As I'm sure you've all heard, there was a bit of a dust-up recently over whether or not our astrology signs have changed. Betrayal, bewilderment, boredom...there was a veritable gamut of emotions running wild.

Fortunately, CNN has since assured the world that my not being a Taurus is total bull. Whew! However, just for fun, let's take a look at these "new" signs and how they might have changed our lives forever.


Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Capricorns are known to be obedient and dedicated. If you ask a Capricorn to do something, you can be sure it is going to get done...


Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Aquarius is represented by water, which fits this sign's creative, "free flow" personality.

"That'll be $28.95, please."

Pisces: March 11- April 18
Pisces is an emotional yet generous sign. These selfless individuals will give until it hurts.

Or until they run out of room.

Aries: April 18 - May 13
Much like their symbol the ram, Aries are fearless creatures. They forge boldly ahead, letting no man, beast...

...or periwinkle border stand in their way.

Taurus: May 13- June 21
Taurus is a sign that never backs down. This stubborn bull will stand her ground through all of life's challenges.

"Look, the writing on the order form says 'Blinday.' END OF STORY."

Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Gemini is often of two minds, waiting to make a choice until the very last minute.

When it's over she'll know if she can write "happy" or not.

Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Cancers are rooted in the past, home and hearth. You can trust a Cancer to feed you, mother you, clean you, feed you, love you...

...and feed you.

And then maybe eat you.

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Leos are very ambitious - shooting for the stars, taking on large projects, and sometimes getting in over their heads.

Or King Tut's, as the case may be.

Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
You can always count on the reliable Virgo to deliver steady, consistent results.

This is more of a virtue if they know how to spell.

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Libra has a clear sense of right and wrong, and is always a fair and impartial judge. However, Libra also craves communication and loves an opportunity to prove her intelligence.

Yes, thank you, Libra.

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Sharp-shooter Scorpio has no problem telling it like it is. Scorpio is honest, direct, and lays everything out in black and white.

Scorpio is usually free most Saturday nights.

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
Nothing can slow down a carefree Sagittarius. Her spontaneity and drive keep things fun and interesting:

...and also covered in SPRINKLES!!! Wheeee!

Wreckiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Wreckiuchus likes to hide in plain sight, often going years before revealing himself to those closest to him.
Some skeptics say Wreckiuchus doesn't actually exist, but if you cross your eyes and stare really hard, we think you'll get the message.

The message being that you look pretty silly with your eyes crossed, of course.

Thanks to Kailee M., Sarah C., Maggie B., Jinglei, Aaron, Jordan F., Niloufer R., Anony M., Heather & Mikki, Katie O., Elizabeth, Stina, & Valerie M., who should all look before they leap, take advantage of sudden windfalls, and explore new opportunities today. And then maybe buy their favorite bloggers a snack. (We like Bugles.)

« Open Mouth, Insert... Shoe? | Main | Sunday Sweets: So Stinkin' Cute »

Reader Comments (80)

hahahaha this was great. I'm glad I haven't changed from being a Scorpio. It describes me so much better than a Libra. ugh.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I almost commented that you had the dates wrong on the Zodiacs, then I went back and reread it... Very clever!

WV:Viract-Apparently sometimes I o-viract!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatstina

Also ... do you suppose that overstuffed baby was REALLY named Petter?

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

I'm that new wrecky sign, which is so appropriate. I can't decorate cakes to save my life, I have eye problems, and I am a rather private person.

I'm also clumsy, so I do wreck things by accident.


January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When, oh when, is it appropriate to stick a doll head and arms on a cake???

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I apparently have two signs. I now get to show off my intelligence to you as a Libra with the no-holds-barred black-and-white delivery of a Scorpio. This could be fun. Of course, if you combine this with my original sign of "I like sprinkles" Sagitarius, there could be much hilarity in site.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimiheart

actually, Susie, *maybe*...the style of the date (both the lettering and the period between the dates) is a pretty big sign that this is a European yeah, the kid's name might just be Petter.

It also means that the kiddo in question was born on February 7, not July 2.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Great post! LOL!

Yeah, everyone in my family is astrologically screwed up now. I don't know who I am anymore *sob*sob*

I was a Leo and now I'm on the cusp of Cancer. So, I guess now I'm very ambitious and shoot for the stars when I feed, mother, clean, feed, love, and feed my children. Then I get in over my head when I eat them.

That Virgo must have carved potatoes instead of pumpkins for Halloween.

wv: fronsts: Frosting fonts.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Haha! I love them. My mom's birthday often falls on Mother's Day, so the 'Gemini' cake is actually rather appropriate for her. The Cancer baby cake is frightening, though. Yikes!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAthene

This is one of my all-time favorite posts... GO PISCES!!! YAY!!!!

w/v: ampliy - I wouldn't want to ampliy that those cakes are wrecktastic, but they are!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSDLantos

So I was taken more by my first knowledge of the new dates- Thank you Cakewrecks for educating me!- than the wrecks, initially.
If you knew my Scorpio mom and were trying to imagine her as a Libra, you would understand.
I was worried about the date gap and THEN saw the new "sign" and had to laugh, my dad the cake decorator (Wiltons ala the 70's) lands smack in the middle. Very Nice. Now I want to make the cake pictured here for his next birthday

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Valinda

Gosh, the Scorpio one is so right on. Thanks for a hearty laugh. I'm saving that photo to email to "friends" on their own blinday's.

I believe the last one was done by a new wreckerator who has had too much experience removing graffiti from walls at school during detention. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back and look at the sides of the cake. Squint if necessary.)

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

the last cake might make you cross eyed but it says or almost says happy on the side.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just thought of a slogan for the bakery that made the "Cancer" cake: "Everything's better with a big slice of Petter!"

Now, about the potential astrological shake-up. Let's all take a deeeeeeeep cleansing breath and balance our chakras -- or our checkbooks, or whatever... Chances are your sign didn't change -- some articles say it only applies if you're born in 2009 or after, others say it doesn't alter western astrology, others say the stars are a guideline, but solstices and other stuff really set the dates. (Thank you, Google.)

I think the new sign is an opportunity to pick and choose which horoscope you want to believe today. If your "old" sign suggests you're about to be hit with an asteroid/plague of locusts/amoebic dysentary and the "new" horoscope suggests an upcoming lotto win, I know which one I'd go with. As I stayed a Leo in both the old and the new system, I'm stuck looking for asteroids -- or Cake Wrecks falling from the sky, which could only improve these cakes. Yikes!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn from Superior

I am a Taurus and I love being a Taurus and if they try to make me an Aries I'm just going to change my blimday. So there.
WV: Scend. I'll scend you a picture of my blimday cake!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

Astrology is my cupcake-cake. *ptooie!* Except not, since cupcake-cakes are actual, real things...
Anyway, that Sphinx cake is TERRIFYING. Oh mah gawd.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzombiekim

points to "Capricorn" for some really lovely lettering work. :)

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't really follow horoscopes, but I have to confess that I'm not happy going from a Capricorn to a Sagittarius. I went from a sign that suits to one that doesn't!

That said... yup, love the Capricorn cake.

It's sad that I can look at the Aquarius cake and think "that's not so bad" because I've so much worse here!

I bet that Pisces cake made some kid VERY happy. And the parents saved on birthday gifts

Taurus: Nice lettering, but why is there a second border? And it's hard to tell if that's "blinday" or "blirday". Given the pinkish tones of the top of the cake, it looks like it's already been scraped and redone, so they could've redone it again

Cancer: I know there's concerns about childhood obesity, but that's getting ridiculous! (And isn't that Feb 7? So why is it in July? Nevermind)

Virgo: what is a "happy october" anyway? At least the cakes look nice even if they don't make sense

Libra: i think they judged the other cakes horrendous, and opted for this show of good taste (choc dipped strawberries!)

Scorpio: ROFLMAO! **LOVE** this one! I so have to use this on a friend for their next birthday!

Sagittarius: Sometimes, sprinkles are not a plus!

Wreckiuchus: It looks like the airbrush imitated a hose flinging itself around. It managed to write a word to express it's joy at being let free to romp madly

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

"This stubborn bull will stand her ground . . ." Have they changed the sex of bulls too?

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdorothywillis

Have you tried the new caramel Bugles? They will be my undoing. Mmmmm.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlisha

Petter? Peter? Eh?

lol - at Scorpio being only 6 days, so the "happy" new sign of Wreckiuchus could make its debut!! Kudos!!

I'm glad I'm still a Pisces no matter what the wackos say. That said, I'll give something... Send me your address, I'll send Bugles. Once I get them off my fingers. They make lovely nails.

I rather like the happy birthday with all the sprinkles. My husband would be overthemoon to get such a cake. I'll have to remember that next January. Tahnk you for inspiration!


January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

My astrologer assures me that this sign-changing nonsense is just an astronomer trying to make himself important. That having been said, the descriptions of the signs were very accurate. Nice to know you folks have a good solid knowledge of the subject matter! Alkmic, y'all!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"And then maybe eat you"

I'm STILL a flotsam covered Pisces.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Hee hee, "blinday" reminded me of the recent 30 Rock episode where Ken, Jenna and Kelsey Grammer were scamming the ice cream store!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLayne

I've barely come to terms with being labeled a Libra, there's no way I'm going to accept being a Virgo. There just has to be a better horoscope system, perhaps a dessert based one. Being born in late September, I would most likely be a slice of warmed-up apple pie, though sometimes I'd envy October and their pumpkin roll with cream cheese filling.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlen

I too am a Taurus and always will be. I am not an Aries. I'm a bull by golly!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMommaDuck

I love the ellipsis on the "Grooms Cake". So unnecessary and weird.

The corpulent baby is also pretty spectacular.


January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see Snow White isn't just lolling about eating bon bons now that she is married to Prince Charming. She went out and got a job as a traffic cop.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The roses on the birthday/mother's day cake are perfect!

My BF thinks fat babies are adorable, but changed his mind when I showed him the baby cake.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPolly

Even though the periwinkle boarder did not stop them... at least the Wreckerator spelled "Congratulations" correctly. That's an accomplishment.

As for Octuber... I feel almost like I need to pull out the crock pot and make stew. Or go start a round of chemo. Not quite sure yet.

WV: hylog What wreckerators imbibe before attacking random cakes with an airbrush.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercq75

"Octuber" isn't misspelled. Those cakes were obviously presented in celebration of the birthday of a potato with eight arms.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhollyml

Love the Gemini cake and I think my Mom would appreciate it. Her birthday is close to Mother's Day, so we've been known to do a combined!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly aka STITCHNMOMMA

Babycake... you got the creepiest little babycake...

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

Hahahha. That baby cake reminded me of the movie Seven with Brad Pitt.

"What's in the baaaaaaax????" an overstuffed baby cake! oh god whhhhhyyyyyyy?????

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Petter's not fat! He just needs his diaper changed, really, really badly!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Oh, well, poo. I like being a Scorpio, sharp and direct. With 'the change' to Libra, I'm now Judge Judy. ('cept without the robes and the TV show)

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The baby cake looks like Mr. Creosote's love child!

Waffer thin mint?!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

Speaking as a former Libra and newly minted Virgo (ugh) I kan spel much betre than that.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

Capricorn: This one has it all: attractive cake, passable icing penmanship, "extraneous quotes" AND it's literal! What's not to like?

Aquarius: $28.95? I think Aerosmith said it best when they sang, "Dream on, dream on..."

Pisces: How is Snow White supposed to ride that bike in a long skirt? The dwarves can get a lot more mining done with their new truck, though. It's always nice to see classic stories updated.

Aries: I'm pretty sure 'congratulations' (oh, the irony of correct spelling under such circumstances) is written in marker on the cover. This might win the labor-saving award for 2011.

Taurus: Blinday, already? Where does the time go -- I haven't made out cards or anything. Maybe it's supposed to be Blingday, and the recipient was about to score some major ice.

Gemini: I think the conjunction of 'birthday' and 'Mother's (or Father's) day' has to be the holiday ripoff to top them all. I would vote to move the birthday celebration so that each gets its due.

Cancer: (If ever there was a sign that needed a different name...) "We join this delivery, already in progress. The baby is pre-dressed to protect sensitive viewers."

Yes, 'Petter' is a name. No, I don't know why or what it means, I just know that I have heard of people being called that. Perhaps this child is destined to become a veterinarian. Or a breeder. Before that, very 'popular' in school.

Leo: Ya learn something new every day -- so Tut wore specs! Or else he was an early incarnation of Harry Potter...

Virgo: If my birthday was in Octuber, I know either of these cakes would make me feel downright special. "If we're all special, that's the same as saying no one is." -- Dash

Libra: Yes, clearly labeling things is important. Why do I think this reception featured assigned seating and name tags.

Scorpio: If Scorpios had Libra's clarity of communication, this cake would read, "Don't invite me to another party of yours ever again."

Saggitarius: The theme of this cake is, "Some joker loosened the top on the sprinkles container. Hardy har har har."

Wreckiuchus: Pronounced: 'Wrecky-yuck-us.' Wreckerators born under this sign are really into subliminal messages. They also get really happy when they get a new toy, er, tool, such as an airbrush. Also inordinately fond of the color pink.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

On the first cake, it looks like they attempted to fix - or do something to - the printing on the word "Write."

"Does dat belong der?" "Dunno. Lemme see what da cake looks like wi'doudit." "Nah, put it back."

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSoupAddict

My mom's a Cancer...I'm kind of scared now.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChocolatier

Bravo! A theme carried-through to its logical conclusion.



...just happy, in pink? Well, not LITERALLY happy in pink...

The word verification is "clingla"; that's funny because I am tired.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFysh Phoenix--

Interesting astrology related cakes.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

My goodness people, read the article linked in this post. Your signs did not change if you follow the Western Zodiac, which most (if not all) of you do. You are still what you thought you are.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatstina

The Octuber cake, maybe someone celebrating a possible world record?

wv: yessoid = otherwise known as an unfilterd, unprotected, unsecure computer system

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am glad to be a gemini. I just eat two cakes. One for me and one for my twin out there somewhere. Yum!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWashingtonPharmGirl

I am a Libra by the standard system, and a Virgo by the Wrecky system. Either way, all of these cakes are HILARIOUS.


wv: bevers. These cakes look like they were decorated by bevers.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm just like my Dad, a typical Virgo. Virginal or vaginal! 100 million people a day, perfectionist? actor, clown and all round Hard! Working! BUSY BODY! LOL! Oh yeah, and in the chinese year I am a RAT!

Can I please have a complementary copy of little cake wrecks! mailed to me in the post! With no pages stuck together! LOL!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't be the only one disappointed that the Scorpio cake didn't have 8 o's

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tomorrow's my Blinday! I want a cake with princesses and dinosaurs, but I'm afraid all I'm going to get is "You are sooooooooooo old."

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

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