My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

News Bites, 2/3/11

It's time again for today's top headlines, illustrated with cake!

Just 'cuz.

"Mexican Gangs Use Catapults to Hurl Pot Into U.S."

Wow. Talk about a throwback to the past!

Seriously, who even drinks tea in the U.S. anymore?

Not to mention this sounds awfully refined for gang members:

"Relent, ye cad, or next I shall hurl 'yon chafing dish!"

"Arizona Fugitive Planned Suicide By Bear"

Oh, please. What's he gonna do, snuggle me to death?


Ahaha... ha... ha... oh crap

Fortunately, the man abandoned his plan when he heard voices telling him bears prefer their humans free-range. (Oh, SNAP!)

"China Braces For Rampant Sexytime in Year of the Rabbit"

Step 1: Cut a hole in the egg.

Step 2:

"Hey, baby, you lookin' fiiine! Watchoo skiing so fast for, huh? Slow down, girl!"

"Enraged Customer Assaults Store Employee Over Lack of Sprinkles"

As a precaution for the future, area bakeries have since introduced the following design:

In related news, most area bakers are now completely out of sprinkles.

Thanks to Marissa, Jessica F., Jekka G., David C., Lalita, & Ryan B., who think that second bear has a real potty mouth. (And they're totally right.)

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Reader Comments (70)

"Cut a hole in the egg"- pure win!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

The reason that nobody drinks tea in America is because most places just offer Lipton tea. Sorry, but that is a completely inferior product to real tea. We always drank our tea at home with proper tea.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I laughed so hard at "cut a hole in the egg" that my baby started to cry! Thanks for the giggles... I now need my JT fix on youtube.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhartman

Are those bunnies on the second to last cake foaming at the mouth?
Are those rabbits rabid?
Are those rabid rabbits rampaging through the roughage?

Sorry, but I <3 alliteration!

wv lingigol(s): What the Cake Wrecks commentary is.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my daughter would LOVE LOVE LOVE the sprinkles cake.

however, the "cut a hole in the egg" was the best comment of all time.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG this is too funny. I love it.

What's the second one supposed to be? I thought maybe a lamb at first, but when I looked closer, I realized the only way it's a lamb is if it had been near a nuclear accident.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I laughed out loud on the "cut a hole in the egg" cake. Priceless.

Now, that first one is almost unrecognizable. I had to really stretch the relationship between the caption and the pic before I realized it was supposed to be a teapot.

Death by bear? wow, another one who really should have attempted to go thru with it. Those are genes that really should not be allowed in the pool.

And that last one is just a mess.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

5 comments… ONLY FIVE????? I am either early or read the number wrong. Op, no, I was right… ok I will stop the always talk. I <3 CAKE WRECKS AND EPBOT!!!! I SPELLED IT WRONG!!! I SHOULD STOP YELLING!!!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL! Cake imitating life...

Oh, I thought it was a chamber pot (a CCC patooie). I'm glad they clarified it by writing "tea".

Cracking up over "ha ha oh crap"!
Geez, everything else was black, white & gray - why *brown*?

ROTFLOL! Cut hole in egg! Uh cracked!

Those other rabbits were chasing the field mice again after the good fairy repeatedly told them not to. This cake shows them being turned into goons.

That guy in Dayton needs an "I want sprinkles" shirt!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

K, first of all, the bunnies? Funny!
And that last cake: a) it already has piping and roses so no shortage on decor b) what is going on with the flag with the sticky note on it? c) we all want sprinkles but wow. Wow. WOW. Someone's going to break a tooth.

wv: hyssinks. (n): A phenomenon that occurs when you are drinking coffee and start to laugh, and have to run over to the sink to convulsively spit out your drink, creating a hissing sound.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTriGirl

Wow,thank goodness the wreckerator wrote TEA on that first one, otherwise I would have never been able to figure out what it was (supposed to be) - which would have made the commentary nonsensical.

I too vote for "cut a hole in the egg" as your best line ever!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTheOneOnTheRight

oh my heck, cut a hole in the egg, I'm dying! Hilarious!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I like the first bear cake. Except it doesn't really look like a bear. And I not sure if it is a cake or a CCC. But I like it.

(Memo to self: Invest in sprinkles commodities.)

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I love tea. I would never hurl my teapot anywhere. But, I do think that I would like to use a catapult to catapult something. Because it seems cool. Oh, wait. What! That kind of pot? Oh.

You know how things are pixelated because of the dimensions of the components that make up the image? Well, that "teapot" thing is cupcakelated.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterania

I'm drinking tea right now, I'll have you know! Haha :)

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrittni


(whispering) sprinkles....

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I agree that "cut a hole in the egg" wins you the Internet!

However, considering where that bunny's tail is, I'm not convinced that other parts would be where they should be. Why do wreckerators expect us to see "next to" as "behind?"

The only thing more bizarre than those cakes are those news stories.

And such cruelty to bears -- I can only imagine they'd get ill and/or addicted from eating that guy. Only Stephen Colbert could approve of that.

Oh, and is the catapult a throw-forward throwback?


February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Those sprinkles made my teeth hurt just looking at it.... ick!!!!

Also loving the bunny trying to "get some" Bwaahahaha you guys are soooo naughty! I love it!!!!

WV: oussor

those sprinkles are an oussour (eye-sore) yeah, I was really reaching guys!!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo You!!!

"Cut a hole in the egg" FTW! Reminds me of the time we were travelling into the Muskokas, and heard an ad on the radio for "Deck in a Box"...

I couldn't breathe for laughing, and didn't dare try to explain with my young kids listening intently for an explanation as to why Mommy had lost her mind.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second bear is going to kiss you to death...'cause you'll die of dysentery after just one smackaroo from that "potty mouth". Yuck!

Is it just me, or does anyone else see goats with snow-shoes when they look at the frolicking bunnies? (It's the beards...)

Funny, as always, Jen.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatiMomKat

While I was enjoying a fine cup of tea as well, I'm afraid the pot/teapot joke went right over my head. Har har. *Ahem* anyway, I thought at first it was a reference to the "tea" in "On the Road," but mainly I was distracted wondering if the drug smugglers ever tried using those T-shirt cannons.

WV-deyhoul, "Deyhoul when there are no more sprinkles."

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlen

so this is a bad time to say that i am an avid tea drinker (particularly during the past few weeks of bronchitis) AND an american? oh, boy.

real tea...loose...requiring an actual tea pot!

well, for that insult, i demand a post full of tea pots. if they contain an alice in wonderland theme, that will earn you bonus points.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlulu

tea all over my computer monitor..."cut a hole in the egg".


February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBellaLovesPink

I love the cut a hole in the egg, too but "Relent, ye cad, or next I shall hurl 'yon chafing dish!" made me laught out loud. I had visions of Mony Python and the Holy Grail. I suppose you hurl the tea pot and chafing dish before you bring out the heavy bovine artillary.

Also what is with the white and pink bear/bunny mutant? It has paw pads coming out of its neck.

WV: reedunne as in no one would buy these wrecks they need to be...

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

"What time is it, boys and girls?"
"Time to ban CCC's! Yay!"

@Marie, agreement with your statement aside, how can a company dominate the market with a product no one buys? Reminds me a little of Yogi Berra's observation that "No one goes there anymore because it's too crowded."

@Loo-E Loo-I, I've never seen a chamber pot with a spout. Why would... never mind.

wv: teetran. No... I'll just leave it be.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Wooooo. . .CRUNCHY!!!! I bet you could break a tooth on that "sprinkles" one if you weren't careful.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

I did not see a teapot on the first one for a very long time. I had no idea what the commentary meant in relation to the CCC (patooie!). I saw a lake or pond of some sort with some wonky docks on either side. I thought, "Are there some types of tea that are grown like rice or cranberries in a flooded field of some sort? Or is this a reference to the Boston Tea Party?" I really had to re-read the commentary and scrutinize the picture to figure it out!

What is in the frosting on the Two Rabid Rabbits cake? It looks like gravel in the cake....and are those "mountains" etched into the background or is that a giant crack in the icing? BTW, your commentary here reminded me of a certain romantic cartoon skunk who loved to chase the ladies. Was that intentional? Very nice.

Hee! I was going to say "Not a potty mouth, but a poo-poo mouth" and that's when I got the "oh crap" comment! Methinks I have not had enough caffeine yet this morning!


February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re cake #4: You almost had me singing the lyrics to "D--k in a Box" (as in, "Step 2: Put your **** in the egg....")

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

I'm going to be singing "cut a hole in the egg" clear to Easter. bwahahahaha!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Julian XIII

Wow, I knew the other stories were real, but the one with the sprinkles I doubted UNTIL I read that article.

That is really, really out there, but it made for a great blog. Good job.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Cut a hole in the egg" - LOVED IT!!!!!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLove

Room 19? Room 19? ?? Must be a very happy room getting so sprinkled.

Love your puns, gags, and comments that got me laughing today, which was rather difficult. (it's been a rather nasty icy snow day)

And I salute you with my cuppa tea. Seriously. Must have tea. Real tea. Brewed. But not in THAT pot. Have to admit that it took me longer than usual to recognize what that Patooie! CCC was.

Brain needs more tea.


February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I must be the only person who doesn't get the whole "cut a hole in the egg" joke... I can't figure out why everyone thinks it's so hilarious.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I am so confused by that first bear. Where are it's arms? It's so deformed!
I drink tea! But not when I'm out, just at home (or at a tea house.)
And, indeed, "Cut a hole in the egg" is a win!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

My favorite part is "Why you going so fast on those SKIS?" Skis!!! Skis!! Skis!!! LOL

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristina Garner

But if they are out of sprinkles, then they won't follow the edict of my shirt!

I'm also laughing at the cut a hole in the egg comment.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

I thought the first cake was a blue blob with a candy cane stuck through it. I couldn't figure out what the caption was about until I squinted really hard. Then I thought it was a blue blob that was REALLY happy to see me.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

@Craig, the same people who buy CCCs, wedding cakes with fountains and staircases, and other cake-related abominations probably also drink Lipton. Or -- even worse-- instant coffee (paTOOIE!)

#1 even with the "tea" on it, and the "pot" clue, it still took a while to get this one. (If they applied that creativity to legal businesses, they'd be quite rich...)

#2 Pink ears, and paws... that may actually be a dog? Pressed up against a window? No tag to indicate how much, though

#3 Eep, it's foaming (in brown?!) at the mouth. And looks REALLY angry... the potty mouth did not agree with it ::shudder::

#4 "Cut a hole in the egg" is a GREAT line! (And comments like that are the reason I've learned NEVER eat or drink while reading this blog)

#5 The background's nice, but those "rabbits" are definitely a mixed species.

#6 A Timmies reference! Mmm, TimBits. ::focus:: Why is there a Malaysian flag on the cake? With a sticker over it? And they decorated OVER the sprinkles! If it were the chocolate sprinkles, I'd think it was a giant rumball. Mmm, rumballs... ok, gotta go--

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

@Me at 2:31... oh dear, how to explain this in a family friendly way?

Look where the egg is, particularly the bottom of the egg. Picture the rabbit is male. Look at the happy and blushing expression on the rabbit's face. Assume the explanation for the explanation has to do with a hole cut in the egg... and realize that it seems that quite a few readers (and authors?) of this blog have very dirty minds.

That help?

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

It took me not once, not twice but THREE separate looks ant the first cake and understand that is was a teapot. I got that it said tea and some how I thought it was a weird ocean cake with a sand bar on each side.

"Cut a hole in the egg"- Classic, now I'm seeing Justin Timberlake dress as the Easter Bunny. What would that bee exactly? Marshmallow peep in a box?

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeighanne

I always pack my Irish Breakfast when we go on a trip because I know I wont be able to get it while we are out. I agree, lipton is dreadful. Not to mention if you ask for hot tea in a restaurant (Unless you find a good Pub) they give you tepid water.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMorbidMiss

I am happy that Jen is making money and dont want the site to end...BUT those feminine wipe ads on the side of the bunny cake are HILARIOUS!
Keep sellin'those ads!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Ahaha! Maybe those are Snowshoe Hares?

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Marie - I totally agree with you about the lack of taste with Lipton tea! Why do all the restaurants insist on serving it?

I am also in the US and I always drink tea. I think you do owe us tea pot cakes to make up for your comment about no tea drinkers in the US!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMargie

Aiieee, looking at that sprinkles cake made me go into diabetic shock and die!


Looks like the nefarious work of Professor Sprinkles! If I had more time, it'd be fun to come up with a whole comic panel about his evil sprinkle plan...but I don't have time.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

addendum @ Aliza, 3:46

And to continue beating a cracked yolk ...

imagine Ms.Bunny saying, "Is it about to hatch? It sounds a good pecker."

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I second Lulu at 12:38!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Man, Ohio needs to stop having crazy people getting so worked up at fast food places!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZombie Edward

That bunny boggles the mind-besides the inappropriate egg, why are his hands near his privates?? WHY???? O_o

wv milimb-milimbs are near my privates, they should not be

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, I live on the Upper Left Coast, and there are a lot of tea drinkers here. And a lot of tea companies. Adn if you ask for tea in a restaurant, it will take two minutes for the waitress to recite the list of available teas. At home I stick with Twinings or Tetley's.

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiutgard of Luxeuil

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