My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Sometimes I find a wreck or two that makes me feel all poetical and stuff.

These...[dramatic pause]... are those wrecks.

Barren winter tree
on a giant bare cookie.
Woo. Celebration.

Circle of sprinkles
instead of decorations
because it's break time.

A fish in the sky.
She turned me into a newt!
But...I got better.

Packing foam peanuts,
A big shiny pile of...wait.

Is that Tiana?

Blue, orange, yellow.
A cheerful makeover for

the eye of Sauron.

And now, let's hear a piece from the king of beat poetry himself:

(via wimp)

Spot on, Data. Spot. On.

Thanks to Ellen B., Rachel W., Jodee R., Meg G., & Lizzie B. who also have hedonistic predilections for demonstrations of affection, but we don't talk about that.

Note from john: Today's comment board kerfuffle shall be titled: Orange: One syllable or two?

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Reader Comments (98)

Awesome! That's what I needed before my job interview! Thanks, CakeWrecks! I'm in a great mood, laughing and ready to go! :-)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

To bunker we go
to miss controvery on
how to say orange.

wv cytorb. A cyborg's daily multi-vitamin supliment.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercraftinqueen

@ Still Singing:

Maryville = Murvl :) And anyone who actually pronounces it Mary-ville will be mocked. It's taken me a while to get used to it, too.

And you're right about ornj. "Big or-ange" just doesn't sound right.


The orchestra conductor woke up to the sound of his obolarm.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

kerfuffle: For artistic reasons, I say orange can be either one or two syllables; but if you ever make it one, please spell it or'nge.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpemberliegh

Orange - as many syllables as it takes to make your point!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Along the same lines as "orange" -- I've been saying "pile" repeatedly under my breath trying to make it one syllable.

I've failed. Am I missing something?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haiku on seeing the lonely tree cookie:

I leap with great joy
The photo I submitted
Is here on Cake Wrecks.

My feelings are mixed
Because my last initial
Is not P., it's B.


But really, I'm thrilled! To have sent a simple picture and get the reward of Jen's humor, Python and ST-TNG references as my reward is my idea of a celebration (hmmm... maybe I should go buy a big cookie with a depressing image on it, just to calm myself down).

Libby, next time I'm at that store, I'll see if I spot a Great Artist moping behind the counter.

Jiniz -- I don't remember a production of Godot in the area at that time, but, perhaps . . .

I suspect, though, that the cookie was a depressed comment on the blizzard-filled winter we were having when I took the pic.


The snow, not the art.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

But is it really an EPCOT if no one gets all torqued and offended and stuff?

No one is taking the tone of the 'English teacher from Heck,' either. Going to the Shelter for this is like wearing a raincoat in a fine mist.

The word 'orange' always makes me think of two things: Orange Julius (yum!) and the Cars' 'Bye Bye Love'.

I asked my dog his opinion of the orange controversy, but he made no reply. He loves carrots, though.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Why is there a poo waterfall on the tiana cake? I thought that was her dress?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen B

Hi Ellen,

We had the picture named Ellen Practice so we could find it in our mail folder.


All fixed now.


Ah, Craig, but I didn't declare and Epcot. I simple declared an anticipated kerfuffle.

Totally different.

And just so we're clear, Orange is nearly exactly two syllables or less.


I love the sign on the wall behind the princess? cake. You deserve the finest cake with the freshest ingredients....and a DEMENTED decorator.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

Those are so awesome
The poems, not the cake wrecks
The cakes kind of suck

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDoctor Tarr

@ mel--there will be points deducted for no footnotes.

Several years ago at the library where I was gainfully employeed in preparation for a program on Cowboy Poetry, some of the staff wrote haiku about cattle. We called the resulting small collection Cowhide ku.

WV Daniz What the nice young man said to his date at the prom. "May I have this daniz?"

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I guess making a circle is hard work since it doesn't seem to be quite finished. That's probably about as well as I'd do if I tried decorating a cake. Well I could always try stick figures.

I'm not even sure if I want to know what's going on with the packing peanuts cake. It is always good to eat things when they're fresh.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Tiana needs the little Dutch boy to come stick his thumb in her dress. Umm... I did not just say that.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Orange is only one syllable if you pronounce it 'awnj', which is an alteration by dialect. I'd say, if you want it to be pronounced a specific way in order to fit it into a haiku, it needs to be indicated in the spelling. Hence the word "o'er" in poetry of yore, or "belov'd" in hymns.

There! I have fixed everything!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaurie pink

thumbs up for the Monty Python quote XD

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteremilina

I made a rather wrecky cake myself yesterday, but that Tiana cake makes me feel much better!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

@mel -- brilliant analysis.

In my ignorance, I thought the "Circle of Sprinkles" cake was the letter "C." Apt, because it starts the word "confused." Your post changed my life. Suddenly, everything makes sense. You have broadened my horizons, unclogged my arteries, and -- miraculously -- balanced my checkbook. (Thanks for that last one, really...) Now, my poor, misbegotten "C" is elevated. Thanks to you, "C" is for clarity.

(By the way, "doctoral dessert-ation" is a TRULY groan-worthy pun. I'm SO jealous -- I wish I'd thought of it first.)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Note to John (HoJ)--an aside: I actually spent time this afternoon with a cat named Kerfuffle. Really. Better--and rarer--than the name Spot.


May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

8 out of 9* dictionaries agree** that orange has two syllables

* the chemical dictionary did not care to report on the subject

**they did not, however agree whether the 'r' sound was part of the first or second syllable.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteromniscience

-Tries to say "orange" with one syllable and fails-

Two. Certainly two.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAi

that round-ish thing on the last one; if you squint and look at it with a dirty mind, it kind of looks like um....something else.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

The 'Eye of Sauron' cookie cake looks to me a heck of a lot more like the Eye of Jupiter, from Battlestar Galactica ( for example). Starbuck is decorating cakes now?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdele

The Tiana cake...I love the sign right behind it saying "you deserve the finest ingredients". But not the finest in decorating apparently!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

@ John (hubby of Jen and ever-patient editor):

Y'know, I posted that comment, went out to work, and thought "Hmmmmm . . . did I ever *give* them my last initial or last name?"

Why, no -- no I hadn't! Your solution was clever.

I actually didn't care, I just couldn't resist the second haiku.

If I send something else in, I'll sign the email "Ellen B."

That's B.

As in Ebcot.


May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

There will always be a special place in my heart for a certain very special android.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSamwise.Gamgee

This is weird, but when I scroll down I get a message from the site saying "start below fold". Care to explain?
Also, I love this blog. It's amazing.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoki

Possibly the frog is Kermit in the opening of The Muppet Movie. Damn fish knocked the banjo out of his hand!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercreeandme

wv: beriedru

How exciting! Data was sitting right beriedru at the convention!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know other people already said it but b/c it's in my head now...
"there's a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea...."
ok I'm good now. thanks!

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroleM

Oh man did I laugh at the Data Raps vid lol. I honestly wish there were more sprinkles on that second cake therefore my ode to sprinkles: More sprinkles or the cake gets it. Doesn't matter if it rhymes not lol.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

"M-U-R V-U-L, Murvul, Murvul, MURVUL!!!"
Yes, my parents went to, I mean, Maryville College. :) My skin turns purple and orange in honor of them (or because I have Reynaud's, but that's a boring answer!).

"Ornj you glad you're a VOL?!" (for those from that other school nearby)

@mel, brilliant. Overwhelming. I am blinded, in awe, humbled, and enlightened. Best part, I'm about to go visit my philosophy major best friend and then my philosophy major brother. While they,, DISCUSS your theories, I will eat cake. All will be happy. :D

WV: molessup: Traditional greeting on October 23rd. "Moles'sup, dude?!"

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJude

Jen and John (and all those who work for CW):

I cry with laughter,
At those wreck-a-licious cakes
And I love haiku.

That was terrible... but I tried! I tried so hard!

wv: sosemar. Those wreckers are sosemar(t).

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrantz

Oh Em GEE! DATA! That's the best!!

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

@Holly- you made me laugh. Now I know you read both CW and Epbot like me. ;)

and @mel- sheer brilliance. Hats off to you.

Wow, I'm on geek overload from this week- Monty Python, the Guide, the Rings, ST:TNG...I'm too tired to keep typing all the references (which makes me a slacker, I know).

@mel- even though it sprained my brain, I stuck with you and got to the delightful dessert-ation! :D

mmm,Sonic tots.

-Barbara Anne

[okay, I say orng but, if we're really supposed to put a syllable between vowels then licious is 3 so Krantz's beautiful attempt is marred. pppppbbbbbttthhhhtttt to grammar and read them however you feel most comfortable. I have spoken.]

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just love that you used the word "Kerfuffle".

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

I'm calling shenanigans on the person who claimed "orange" used to be "norange."
Hilarious, but I hope you don't actually think it true.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a writer of bad haiku, a Monty Python lover, and a Trekkie.. I loved this blog the best...


May 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi

Monty Python AND Lord of the rings references?

You've outdone yourself.

May 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lord of the Rings and Monty Python and the Holy Grail references FTW! Funny enough, those two specific cakes are the ones that I can't understand the most.

May 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I am having the weirdest sense of deja vu. Just minutes before opening this post I was pouring juice for the kids and wondering why on earth my husband pronounces it 'ornj' when it is clearly two syllables. Haiku rules rule.

wv: loeste - One syllable? Two? Three?

May 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJay

My daughter had to write poetry for science on the circulatory system. We chose haiku, as it was never specified what kind of poetry it needed to be, and wrote several of them while driving to the next town to do a little shopping. We were pretty proud of our creations, and especially of this one:

infarction: as serious
As a heart attack.

May 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I love your creative haikus!!!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBJ

Little haiku heart
Squeals over chocolate kigo.
Ah! Cakey poets!

The deep, sweet inhale:
When life-battered, Cake Wrecks is
My life's saijiki.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The first one is a zombie hand emerging from the ground. Duh.

August 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMerrill

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