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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun012011

Get Used to Disappointment

It's time once again to take all your lofty dreams of realized cake-ordering expectations... and douse them with the bitter dregs of cold, hard reality.

Oh, yeah. It's gonna be THAT good.

 

 

What they ordered:


 

 

What they got:

 

And here I thought all carrots grew under the ground.

 

 

Ordered:
Got:

 

A tip of the hat for an exceptionally crumby job.

Ordered:


Got:

Finally. A baby cake I wouldn't mind cutting.


Happy day at the pool:

Nightmare at La Brea Tar Pits:

Anyone else having flashbacks of Tasha Yar's death scene?

 

 

 

Thanks to Megan G., Candace R., Alisha T., Catie S., & Suzanne S., who all "exceed expectations." Mostly because my expectations are really, really low.

 

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Reader Comments (99)

My face is so far into my palm over these that I can read my own fortune.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

Wow, a Tasha Yar reference before 9 a.m.?! I'm impressed!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie M

I have a mean spirited remark. If someone got a cake like that last one for me, I'd take it back and write them off my birthday list.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudy C

Tasha Yar!!! AWESOME!!! That's one sweet geek reference :) -heather

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Sayer

No, not Tasha Yar, but I am having nightmares about poor Artax!! That scene has haunted me for 20 years...

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

That last one is...well, it's just bad. I have nothing witty for it, it has wrecked at least 27 brain cells that will be useless for the rest of my existence.

WV=wiliturn Wiliturn the computer off to avoid that last cake? Yes I will.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

Have MERCY. The Tinkerbell inspiration was bad enough to begin with...the crying babyface cake had to be more difficult to make than the inspiration, and yet so, so, not what it should have been...and Tasha Yar! Yes! Exactly!

wv: noweedu - perhaps should be a promotional poster in some of these cake shops.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

That last one makes me wonder what you would get if you DID, in fact, order an Armus cake. It also makes me want to avoid swimming. Forever.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny H.

I still miss Tasha...

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRJ

Tasha Yar :(

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

You definitely saved the "best" for Last! I would be afraid to eat it - yuck!!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Valinda

are these people serious?! ..they really believe those cakes look similar...honestly

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

...whhhhoooo are you? I must know...

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrachel leigh

Oh, yeah, that's definitely a skin -- er, pool -- of death.

And does the phrase "Tinker Bell Dangler" sound obscene to anyone else, or is it just me?

I am never disappointed in Cake Wrecks, though.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Sitting her laughing out loud. Nightmare at LeBrea Tar Pit.

LOL

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Didn't Tasha die at Epc......
nevermind.

@Ellen- yes, it does sound obscene.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Ahhh, after making me think of Tasha Yar, that cake made me think of Deanna Troi's Mom in the mud bath with Worf's son. Now that was a memory!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Even Tinker Bell looks annoyed by that cake (examine her posture in the sample vs. the delivered cake).

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Is it just me or does the (wrecked)baby face cake look like Phyllis Diller?
AngieN24

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, lets all bury Tasha Yar in that last one. She'd look good with cake on her face. Ug. These were truly wreckies!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

The baby cake is crying so hard because it is actually a pig whose little ears have just been cut off.
OMG these are the stuff of nightmares. I have to stop reading cakewrecks before bed!

wv: breway... "You need a breway?" Yes bring the whole keg, I'll need it to wash my mind clear of these cake images

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I so want to make a Nightmare at LaBrea Tar Pit cake, complete with cute dinosaurs looking confused.

btw, wasn't it Riker who ended up covered in digital tar? Yar just dropped dead, didn't she?

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

Oh my wretched eagle poop. Why?

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Is the baby cake supposed to be the baby from Alice in Wonderland that turns into a pig? If so, good job. If not...

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUsagi

I'm actually undecided on which baby cake looks worse. Certainly the original, while professionally cartoony, makes a bad theme for a cake.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

That pool cake made me think of the Stephen King story "The Raft". That one always creeped me out, and to see it in cake form... horrifying, just horrifying.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Princess Bride AND ST:TNG before lunch? Happy dance!

Clearly these cakes were all made by the Nutrimatic Cakes Dispenser, because they're all almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the cakes that were ordered.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Love the Next Generation reference. The baby cake is gross and the cap.. well the cap...

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p. elephant

But Tasha didn't die by being dragged into Armus. Armus killed her with a quick energy bolt. It was Riker who was dragged into the black goo (which, by the way, was a mixture of Metamucil and printer's ink).

Sharyn: Love the Douglas Adams reference.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanus

so anyone else notice that the red sox hat now says ofx instead of having the boston logo? here is how i imaging that conversation
Drunk Baker "hey boss how do you like my cake"
Boss "oh fix that" *points at entire cake*
Drunk Baker "hm i thought they wanted a red sox hat but im sloshed so ok!" *writes OFX*

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I absolutely LOVE the "What they ordered/ what they got" game!!! Makes me oh so thankful I have a cake decorator who is honest and expresses her limitations up front...no surprises EVER!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

The Tinker Bell wreckerator forgot the baby jockeys on the carrots. Someone's getting fired now.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhil

Wow, the Tinker Bell one is so bad, even the purple flower is crying.

The ball cap looks like Grover...without a face....after he melted....?

@Courtney: Awww. Artax! I cry everytime I watch that scene. At least he came back at the end. Tasha Yar was gone forever. :-(

Andrea

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That "scary baby face" wreck reminds me of a certain episode of "Dr. Who"... Ew.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

These cakes reminded me of my husband's groom's cake. He ordered a cake with the Dallas Cowboys star, royal blue, etc. He got a turquoise star of David.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

Most of these cakes are just obviously beyond the skill of the baker. But the two that confuse me are the crying baby head- made more difficult in the execution than the requested cake- and the baseball cap (not for the obvious)- how hard was it to put a "B" on it, and what does O-T-X have to do with Boston or the Red Sox?

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Frankly, I think the first cake isn't half bad. 7/16th's, maybe, but not half. After all, it's for a 3-yr.-old! Gah. She may have even thought it was BOOFUL; 3-yr.-olds aren't all that picky when it comes to cake (in my experience).
If it's face-smooshable, it's good to go.
But those carrots. They aren't on the prototype, so it MUST be a case where the bakery simply ran OUT of rosebuds. Happens all the time. Yeah, that's it. [Baker to self: "!%*#+!@!-I got no rose buds. Well, we'll just trot out the baby carrots! I'll stick them in pointing up. Makes 'em look perky. And a little excited. For corn's sake, it's for a frikkin' 3 year-old. Oh, and why not toss on that plastic bracelet that I found in the parkin lot. Girls like that crap."]
All I want to understate about that last cake is that the swimmers don't appear to be having a very good time, actually. The *expression* on the *face* of that one (at about 5:00-zoom in for the full effect)-is worth buying the cake for.

=^o0^=

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

1) Clearly those are magic fairy carrots that grow upwards, silly person.

2) I was kind of happy when Tasha carked it and peeved when she reappeared later. But then, I'm a horrible person who should be disregarded at all costs.

Then again if you want to talk about Marcus Cole I *will* burst into tears. Marcus! Nooooooo! WAHHHHH!

3) @ john who said, "I so want to make a Nightmare at LaBrea Tar Pit cake, complete with cute dinosaurs looking confused." DOOOO IT! Wanna see!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Hey,

Just so we're all on the same page, we're talking about the death scene as a whole. Tasha's anticlimactic zap and Riker getting sucked into Armus.

Now, most people got the Tasha reference. However, if we had said, "Anyone else having flashbacks of when Riker got sucked into Armus?" 4 people would have gotten it.

Next week, one of the punchlines will be, "It kinda reminds me of the combination of Kirk's safe in episode 25."

john

#1b Pro: Tink doesn't have 'coverage' issues for a change. It says '3rd', not '3nd' or '3th'. 'Birthday' is spelled correctly. Apart from those things, it has bold colors and beads. Could it be deep-fried?

#3a & b Yes, it's the subtly snarky well-wishing every parent wants to receive: "good luck with your new baby." 3b specifically: I'm guessing the mother's name is Rosemary. Just a hunch.

#4a The flame f/x on the candles is an interesting touch. 4b: The whole thing should be a candle. "Nightmare at La Brea Tar Pits" FTW.

wv: compell. 2b is one of the least compelling cakes I've seen in a while.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The baseball cap (with an airport abbreviation on it?) made me cringe, but "Nightmare at La Brea Tar Pits" made me snicker aloud. And then cringe.

wv--meive: Some people still believe that they won't get a wreck, but meive lost all hope.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I can't get over the creepy baby "eyebrows". How do you eat those?!!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

The Tar Pit baker is also apparently racist. Notice how he or she took out all of the black people?

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If the person truly requested a Red Sox cap, what they got is a real travesty. How dare they!
But if they didn't, it's still a wreck.

WV: coutbra, or Tinkerbell underwear

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

Please tell me I'm not the only one who just went and googled the combination of Kirk's safe on episode 25...

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I was telling my teenage son about Tasha just the other day. For some reason, the death portrayed in this cake isn't the one I think of. I always loved when Guinan told here "you aren't supposed to be here." True Sci-Fi stuff for me! No one else sensed it. Whoopi Goldberg was great at Guinan.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

**snORk**
Nightmare at LaBrea Tar Pits! XD
The doomed, counterclockwise: Severe head injury @ 12 o'clock. Jack-o-lantern @ 8. PO'd albino chimp (or a Flintstone) @ 5. And a Picasso @ 2:30.
And wasn't it Riker? I never liked Riker.
--BL's mom

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love it! I logged on to point out the obvious problem (Tasha Yar dying of an energy burst, not drowning in the goop), but I see you guys have it under control! Nice work.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

That baby cake looks like Wilbur from Charlotte's Web.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

Usagi, that is exactly what I was thinking! I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermin

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