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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun012011

Get Used to Disappointment

It's time once again to take all your lofty dreams of realized cake-ordering expectations... and douse them with the bitter dregs of cold, hard reality.

Oh, yeah. It's gonna be THAT good.

 

 

What they ordered:


 

 

What they got:

 

And here I thought all carrots grew under the ground.

 

 

Ordered:
Got:

 

A tip of the hat for an exceptionally crumby job.

Ordered:


Got:

Finally. A baby cake I wouldn't mind cutting.


Happy day at the pool:

Nightmare at La Brea Tar Pits:

Anyone else having flashbacks of Tasha Yar's death scene?

 

 

 

Thanks to Megan G., Candace R., Alisha T., Catie S., & Suzanne S., who all "exceed expectations." Mostly because my expectations are really, really low.

 

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Reader Comments (99)

The baby cake was for my sister's baby shower. Can't tell you how happy I am that it made it onto this blog....hilarious! We were so mortified when we had it delivered and had to show her the result. We laughed about it for days. She said it looked like a little pig baby, so 'right on' to people commenting it is reminiscent of a mini piggy!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

Skin of Evil!! Nooooooo! I still get broken up when I think about Tasha Yar. :(

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen H.M.

The baby cake doesn't look like a pig to me; for some reason it reminded me of a baby version of the "V for Vendetta" guy.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Anon @ 3:29,

True, true... Of course, it could also be that this is what was requested by the customer but I find it's always best to think the worst of people.

john

Sharyn took the geeky words right out of my mouth.

The Princess Bride AND Star Trek:TNG all on one page. You all complete me.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

Poor Tasha, her bum was nice.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's as I always say- If you keep your expectations low, you're rarely disappointed, but you could be pleasantly surprised!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterunseeliepixie

wow, so did the purchasers of the wrecks return the cakes? Or simply enjoy the wreck that they no doubt paid handsomely for?

That baseball cap...oh man. And the tar pits? Who thougth that cake was ok to sell?

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

oh my... from the Princess Bride to the Tasha Yar reference... my well-hidden (humor me) geeky side is in Heaven!!!

and the part of me that's trying to eat less sugar - is doing well.. those are some of the most unappetizing wrecks ever!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTisforTonya

+ 2 for Tasha Yar death refernce.
-Kara

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Tinker Bell dangler" sounds like a sex toy.

The baseball cap cake, if you didn't have the original to compare it to, is not that bad - it looks like a cap thrown on a base, with dirt on it.

WV: jintab My jintab would be high if I was drinking right now.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

Oh, whenever I think of Tasha Yar, I always think of, "I am fully functional."

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

Several pounds of neon bright icing and copious sci fi references... this is what keeps me coming back for more.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

NO! I've just barely started TNG! The spoilers! They burn!
-Daria

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That baby made me pull back and grimace in pain. Yikes.

As for the last cake...who knew there were mandrakes on TNG? Talk about crossing the streams.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarla

"BUT I DON"T LIKE FONDANT"

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSonja F

I thought the Tasha Yar reference made me happy... then I saw all the responses, and how easily people admit to getting it, and that made me even MORE happy.

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Princess Bride...ST:TNG(old episode at that)...and a veiled sex toy reference....yep! Jen hit the triple jackpot today. :)

vw: uplis. Will uplis stop making me laugh so hard with these cake wrecks?

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Love the Tasha Yar reference - has made my rough day a little brighter!

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJo

What do you have against the LaBrea Tar Pits, anyway?

Um, that "baby" face...well, at least they tried to sculpt it instead of being two dimensional. o.O

I actually typed 'two dementional' at first and it does indeed look demented. I haven't seen the last Harry Potter movie- do they show any Dementors faces?

@Fluffy Cow- oh, no you didn't!! LMAO (does happy dance)

-Barbara Anne

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sharyn, I did NOT google it. I binged. LOL

-Barbara Anne

June 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To this day I can't watch the Tasha Yar death scene episode. Yet, the reference made me happy :)

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRena

Time to cut the baby face cake! Who wants an eye piece? (I do, I do!)

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I'm trying to figure where you get episode 25 from -- according to Wikipedia and Yahoo Answers, we're talking either episode 24 1st season, or 26 if you count the pilot episodes.

You know that kid in Galaxy Quest who said, "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WAS REAL!" I was that kid, just a female version. And got into Trek during TNG. I was eleven and an outcast. It was fate. What can I say.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I really really hope none of these cakes were purchased. Wow they didn't even come close to what was advertised lol. That pool one actually did bring to mind Tasha Yar's death scene..scary that.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I ordered that Tinker Bell cake for my daughter a couple years ago! It looked beautiful, but the box was left partly open to accommodate the height of the toy, so the cake was stale. We served it anyway, and then I took the remaining 1/3 cake back to the store and got a full refund. Yay, free stale cake!

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aw, Tasha.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSif

We're all for having a go at new things but this is pushing the boundaries slightly...

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWee Tait

Oh, dear God. i saw that first cake and all I can think is 'That poor little girl!'

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WTF???? How dare those people call themselves professionals.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks to the first photograph I now have the horrible words "Tinker Bell Dangler" stuck in my head.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiz Kizzle

The screaming baby cake's not so bad compared to the other ones. Then again, it wasn't a great source to begin with.

That being said, "compared to the other ones" means compared to the La Brea Tar Pits and what appears to be Cookie Monster's death scene.

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As someone who had to churn out the cakes at a discount bakery for 4 years, people need to learn that you get what you pay for. Seriously, those decorators are expected to decorate a cake from start to finish in less than 10 minutes.....with that said, I so would have fired the decorator who wrecked the Tinkerbell cake. Gotta some standards!

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersheutinck

After seeing so many horrible "what they got"s, I've decided that too many people are asking bakers to copy beautiful cakes without seeing a portfolio of previous work to make sure the bakery is actually capable of beautiful work. Advice to cake orderers: confirm your bakery is capable of more than "Alpo" before ordering "steak" (Homer says: mmm, steak cake!)

Tasha Yar ref: boy that takes me back, and you're so right!

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Doesn't it look like they made toilet paper rolls on the top of the pool wall? Maybe that water was supposed to be yellow with a hint of brown...

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeb H

ugh that tinkerbelle cake. i never could get those weird-looking purple and pink flowers to look right. (i'm not the... 'artist' featured, i'm just familiar with that painful design!) though really if you just take your time with the darn thing it's not that hard to do...

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteryotan

For some reason "Tinker Bell Dangler" sounds like a nickname for a serial killer.

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVal C.

A Tasha Yar reference, hurray!

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Oh, man! And no one notices the Princess Bride reference?!?

~Cathy in NOLA

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The ascending carrots on the Tinkerbell cake are easily explained.

No, actually, they aren't.

Look at the pink flowers, the purple flowers, and the "carrots." They are supposed to be parts of the same flower (mmmm, delicious buttercream flowers). How can a decorator look at the guide picture and decide that the flowers must be dismembered and scattered hither and yon? It doesn't make any sense.

Word verification: lomant. A special kind of ant, bred by Neverland fairies, that sneaks into birthday parties and gobbles up the really hideous cakes before the children can be traumatized.

Jenny Islander

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me, or did they make the "crying baby" cake harder than it need be? I mean, thanks for the extra effort, but....

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Dharmamama: Obviously these bakers are not programmed in multiple techniques.

(...and their decorating is bad, too. Zzing!)

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGoueznou

I actually ordered that first Tinkerbell cake for my middle child a few years back. Maybe I should try and track down the person responsible and thank them as mine looked better then the example. I'm not sure what I would have done if I went in and that thing was waiting for me.

The pool is just scary. I appreciate the Tasha Yar reference, it'll make the nightmares easier.

June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Tinkerbell cake that the customer got is actually a Little Mermaid with some roses and Tink stuck on it.

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Haha, I know exactly what happened to the Tinkerbell cake. The design is meant for the Little Mermaid cake that most chain store bakeries have...someone started making the wrong cake and got lazy....

June 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Believe it or not, I like the wrecked Tinker Bell cake. Now, if I was a bakery worker, I would definitely be a wreckorator, but I still like the Tink Cake.

Maybe it's because I don't care for the original design in the first place.

wv. Creade -- We can creade a non-wrecky Tinker Bell cake.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan Smith

I gasped with such joy and excitement when I read the intro to this post: I took a full-on in breath and smiled--much like I did as a child when I saw the presents under the tree Christmas morning or the gifts my parents arranged on the dining room table for me to find first thing in the morning in celebration of my birthday. THAT'S how excited I was! haha!

My first thoughts:

TINKER BELL: I didn't see any carrots or radishes in the referenced cake!

BASEBALL HAT: Oh my. Sad. Sad. Sad little deflated "hat". Nice use of brown sugar ON the base (NOT!). It took me a minute to figure out why there was sand on the cake...literally!

THA "BABY": Poor Brandy! My first thought was Elizabeth Taylor (R.I.P.) because of the fake eyelashes! Where have you ever seen a baby wearing fake eye lashes?? And, whose idea was it to take a flat surfaced, cartoon-like baby and turn it into a sculpted baby face (using the term lightly?). In the end, I decided it looked like Miss Piggy doing drag as Elizabeth Taylor (yes, I know Miss Piggy is female...but those eye lashes...you would HAVE to call it drag regardless).

THE POOL: Wow. Yuck. Ew. Are you frickin' kidding me? Nice sunny pool party going on there. That baker should be sued for...slandering the good name of butter cream icing. Unlawful use of cake. Impersonating a cake decorator. Somethin' somethin'.

Who the heck is Trish????
Am I THAT old???? (42)

I'll challenge you to come up with a most excellent Frank Zappa reference on any upcoming post! (EXCLUDING "THE MUFFIN MAN"...OR ANY LYRICS THEREOF. Nor "Little Green Rosetta." That would be much too simple!)

:)

WV!!! "dombase" haha "That poor Boston baseball hat sitting on top of that dombase looks pitifull."

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

isn't that baby cake the joker from rummikub?

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlub

My 3 year old "Thats a mess!" about the hat. He then proceeded to scream through the following cakes. Rather accurate I thought.

September 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKay

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