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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jun132011

Wreck-A-Bye Baby

Sometimes I like to think this blog might have a positive influence on current baking trends. (Oh, stop laughing. A girl can dream.) So, what do you say we mosey on over to a few of our nation's baby showers and see how things are going?

Wonderful!

I mean, sure, "beby" is misspelled, and there's a giant funky headboard thing happening, and the doll is staring at me all creepy-like, but the baby itself is not edible. That's progress, people!

Hey, a lot of those letters are right.

In fact - and feel free to correct me here if I'm wrong - I think "cohgrautions" may be the Canadian spelling.


You might be wondering how many tracts of land they had to search to find these two peas in a pod, or why the baker didn't make the "peas" green. That said, it's not a pregnant torso cake.

Plus it makes me want to start singing "Keep Walking" by the French Peas, so that's a "win" all 'round.

This next one may cause a bit of a flap, but I'll have no truck with such negativity:

After all, nothing drives home the beauty of motherhood quite like a pregnant mudflap girl. Eh? Eh? Am I right?

Well, my friends, I think I've made my point: baby shower cakes are getting better! And all because of me! ME, I SAY!! BWAHAHAHAAA!!

AHAHAHAAAHAA!!

BAHAHAHAA...

...huh?

AAAAAUUUGGHH!!


[blink blink]

Well.

Back to business as usual, then?

Thanks to Sose K., Krista M., Susan M., Bob S., & Carly A. for dashing my dreams. You cruel, cruel wreckporters, you.

« Dad's Birthday Presents | Main | Sunday Sweets: Summer Lovin' »

Reader Comments (163)

Dang, Jen... All was going so well till that last one. Thanks for the face plant on the keyboard to start this week! LOL ~ Eliza

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sure, the penmanship & spelling on the 2nd one are terrible, but what I really find frightening is the M&M-eyed birdicorn that's dripping green phlegm.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEm

A Monty Python reference and a Veggie Tales reference within moments of each other in the same post. That is quality writing.

I may have nightmares about that last cake. Just saying.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersara

that last one looks like a baby king from burger king...and its frightening...in a big way...lots of bad dreams ahead :o(
WV: Crick- Blimey I got a crick in me neck this mornin'!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterS + J =B, D & P

I have to confess, I love pregnant mudflap girl. She cracks me up in a good way!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

Shrug. We eat everything else in cake form, so what's the big deal about edible babies? *Burp.*

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Keep walking
But you won't get any cake
(Keep walking...)
At least none one ought to bake
This pile of wrecks
Is far more than we can take
So start running
And don't stop for heaven's sake!

OK, Big Idea Productions I am not. But I'll have the French Peas in my head all day now, thanks. :-)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarliO

I don't comment on your blog here, but I wanted to take the time to let you know how much I enjoy Cake Wreks. During the week I know I'm going to be lauging/groaning at something, and on Sunday, my husband has gotten use to the cooing and sighs of apprieciation.

Keep up the wonderful work!

Tazzy

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My first thought was that Jen was under the influence of "something" with all the lovely comments on the cakes. Then, yes, reality struck with a vengence. Oh my...

wv: spulled Not all of the cakes today have words that are spulled wrong.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I'm so glad you explained the "two peas in a pod". I thought it was some weird watermelon slice. And the last cake is disturbing - it looks kinda like a slimey newborn.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one left me dumbfounded, I honestly didn't expect such bad taste.

wv: Weasma do those bakers think they're doing?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Monty Python AND VeggieTales? So happy. Now, of course, my brain has morphed them together. I've got the image stuck in my head of the French guards taunting King Arthur by singing "Keep Walking" as they catapult cows.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What IS the beby's headboard made of? at least using a real doll and fondant won't get the doll all messy with icing.

flesh colored peas with textured icing freak me out. at first glance I thought it was a mutant watermelon.

a crown? on a glossy newborn edible baby with a shiny blanket precariously balanced on wooden blocks? yikes.

but my favorite is the pregnant pink silhouette with lots of junk in the trunk. she looks like the local strip club's sign--9 months after the dancer on the sign got knocked up. I almost fell off my chair! (the sign caused a brouhaha around here for being "distracting" in the first place for highway drivers)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just watched this on Tosh.O and totally thought of CakeWrecks! I seriously think cutting and serving these cakes is even worse than just looking at them!

http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/20-seconds-on-the-clock---dead-baby-cake

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAMB

I do like pregnant mudflap girl. so classy!

wv: surup: anyone want any surup with that? glossy burger king baby looks like he's had too much

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

GAH!!! I cannot tell you how much I love you for referencing the french peas!

Also, how much I HATE you for dooming me to having that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. :|

Alas, I fear the only thing that could help me now is an Ace of Base song...[sigh]

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTantenoonie

Thank you, Jen, for the spray of coffee on my monitor now. And although I don't live in Canada, I'm pretty sure it's spelled E-P-C-O-T.

wv: orkyc. I think that last cake is a baby orkyc, not an elf or an ent.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermouse

My wv word was folosuc. I'm not game enough to come up with a definition; anyone else want to try?

The peas made me wonder if there are any Veggie Tales wrecks. I suppose I could take the initiative to search.

I don't think that's a stork in Cake 2. I think it's a heron. Everyone knows storks, not herons, bring babies.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLucky66

You can't go wrong with two giant, smiling, flesh-coloured mounds of icing in what appears to be a green rowboat... No innuendo there at all...

That said, the "shiny king baby" is creepy on many, many levels.

WV - Ponsi: These cakes were created as part of a ponsi scheme, I just know it.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Oh look, Prince already has a crown (Since I see it says "Welcome Prince" at the bottom). LOL.

and, um, are you sure those are PEAS? My last pea in the pod cake looked MUCH better. However, it seems it's customary that the pea representing the baby is flesh colored and not green.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

My baby shower is this weekend... and I'm so excited/terrified about what my cake may be!!

wv: I atess that the mudflap girl looks better in a silhouette than I do!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrantz

Wrecker Tales!
Wrecker Tales!
Wrecker Ta-a-ales!

LOVIN' me some Veggie Tales references!

And I was really LOL-ing ... until I got to the last cake, at which point I stopped dead in my tracks, opening and closing my mouth in shock.

Ew.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

Oh major win for the veggie tales reference. um but dang it now the song is stuck in MY head!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterteri

The shininess of that last one makes it even more disturbing... ick!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJecka

That last cake made me so pleased - the baby Klingon prince got a cake to mark his birth....awwww...eeeeuuurrghh!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

@ Lucky66 @ 10:18

WV: folosuc -- The first cake was awful, but the ones that folosuc, too.

My WV: pleses -- These cakes pleses no one.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I heart the French Peas! Did you know that they were inspired by the French guards in Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail? I just about died from geeky joy when I found out.

Oh, and as a Canadian and an English major, I'm pretty sure that's not the correct spelling in any language. :)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Does the last "baby" have a beard? Why is it shiny? Thanks for explaining the peas in a pod cake, I thought they were two happy boobs frolicking on a green teeter totter. heh, happy boobs.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG - I actually thought it was done before I read the last one, I was even googling mudflap girls (check out this site http://www.davidleeking.com/tag/mudflap-girl/ - it's the WY library mudflap girl) before scrolling down to the comments.
My eyes are still burning - no one should just come upon that cake by surprise. Is the cowl (caul?) we see there? TMI for a cake!

WV: Sumse - this sumse it up wreckie style.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear God, what IS that thing (the last one)?!?!?!
And yeah... Veggie Tales FTW.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The wrecks always look extra wrecky on Monday mornings after looking at Sundays Sweets!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

I wish to add my voice to the chorus of those thanking you for referencing Veggie Tales this morning... and castigating you for getting the "Keep Walking" song thoroughly stuck in our heads!!

Oh, and up here in the English part of Canada, we usually spell it "Félicitations." Not sure what the Québecois do.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStriderGirl

Yay, Veggie Tales! *ahem*

Great list today -- just wanted to add that I love the bear trap around the last one's head. Wait, that's a crown? You're kidding, right? D:

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

VeggieTales and Monty Python are rightly morphed together. Remember the fish-slapping citizens of Nineveh?

Thanks for my Monday laugh, Cakewrecks!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNoCapes

Just wait, pregnant watermelon girl will soon be a t-shirt at Wal-Mart.

That weird "headboard" thing on the first one looks suspiciously like a plastic mesh onion bag.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one isn't a baby. It's the head of Luis the 16th falling out of a sack containing two other severed heads. Yuck!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

AUUUGGHHHH@ the last one D:

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear Cake Wrecks Team,

First, let me say it takes real intestinal fortitude to post another picture of a King Cake.

Now, you need to give yourself more credit. I think the last baker has really been shaped by your efforts to educate.

Let's remember another infamous post: You described the King Cake as follows: "Traditionally speaking, the King Cake is not the most pleasing thing to look at. In fact, if your King Cake is a hideous blob of slime and sprinkles, then, congratulations! You nailed it!"

So, let's see:

1. Not the most pleasing thing to look at? Check
2. Hideous blob? Check
3. Slime? Check
4. Sprinkles? Oops, they forgot sprinkles.

Soooo close.

Really, keep up the good work -- your efforts are starting to pay off.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Oh my god. Reading that on my iphone with my nose almost touching the screen so i can see and read properly, and when I got to that last pic, I got the worst fright of my life. I will never be able to look at a baby the same way.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSammy

Need to go find my Huge Tracts of Land t-shirt now...heh heh heh...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

I swear the second cake says "cohgmuttons," and for some reason that completely cracks me up.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkam

Is it wearing a CROWN??? Is it??? Holy crap! Why is it glistening like that???

wv-undul: Cakewrecks never fails to take my ho-hum mornings and instantly make them undul.

:)moochmom

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Head.
Butt.

That is all.

=^>.<^=

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I knew that Mudflap Girl would get knocked up eventually.

WV:trists
There will be no more trists for Mudflap Girl, that's for sure.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

thanks for putting "Keep Walking" in my head for the day. i love me some french peas!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

Silly person, it's oviously two lentils in a pod..hence the hue..
And, FYI, the Canadian spelling is "Con-fabulations" because they(the Cons) just got a majority, no one seems to know how....

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

Don't understand the Canadian bashing, used to like this blog a lot. Whatever.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I swear that the second cake says "Cohgmuttons"... so maybe it's Allison's sheep they're celebrating?

And I have no idea what is going on with that last cake... if that were delivered to me, I think I would run out screaming to get away from the baby prince of shininess.

Why would you let your baby sleep on top of two angled baby blocks!? It's a ugly cake and proof of child endangerment.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

Dear Anonymous Canadian,

You spell things differently sometimes. Like the word "humour," for instance.

Sorry we offended you.

john

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