My friends, today is National Nude Day, which is why I... [ripping off Velcro pants]...will be writing this post entirely butt nekkid. Aw yeeeah. In fact, I suggest you join me! Just be considerate of your family and cubicle mates, and be sure to walk around and extend a personal invitation to each of them, too.
Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:
Now, let's do this thing!
Here we have a ...
I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.
So. Here's a turtle:
Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?
Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!
She's such a sweetie.
Now, check out this hot little chick:
(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)
And now, a taco:
Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.
(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)
Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?
And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate: