My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

john (the hubby of Jen) In The Flesh

My friends, today is National Nude Day, which is why I... [ripping off Velcro pants]...will be writing this post entirely butt nekkid. Aw yeeeah. In fact, I suggest you join me! Just be considerate of your family and cubicle mates, and be sure to walk around and extend a personal invitation to each of them, too.

Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:

I like to oil up when I write about cake.

Now, let's do this thing!

Here we have a ...

I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.

So. Here's a turtle:

Oh! Hang on a sec; my neighbor is watering her lawn.

[opening door]

Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?

Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!

She's such a sweetie.

Now, check out this hot little chick:

That is some serious duck face.

(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)

And now, a taco:

Or possibly a hot dog.

Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.

(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)

Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?

Must be the cold draft in here.

[crossing legs]

And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate:

Hey, Carol G., Marianne F., Susan M., Sarah A., & Alexandra, for the last time: I'm up here.

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Reader Comments (104)

That hot dog/taco cake looks just like a picture i drew for art class back in elementary school. except my picture was supposed to be a campfire.

i'm not the artsy type...

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaimeS.

LMAO This is the best post ever!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteryellowpickup

I agree with yellowpickup - best post ever! Still laughing!!!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Nice six pack Jon(the hubby of Jen).

And each time I look at the ducky cake I think of Carol Channing. Not sure why - maybe that huge mouth?

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

You know, hubby of Jen, that Big Bird cake looks really angry to me.
But I'll bet Jen is happy.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudy C

Hey John (THOJ)

Maybe you should tell your "friend" to stick with the metal back scratchers. And buy him some smooth slipcovers. Just sayin'...

Now fasten up those pants and help Mildred off the lawn.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Even haiku fails.
My words are as broken as
Mildred's mighty hip.

wv: nournif

It wouldn't surprise me if nournif gets the poetic allusion. English teacher's blight.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

SWEET! Today I have an excuse to run down the hallways of this office nekkid...because, yanno, every other time I do it they call the authorities. "YOU CAN'T CALL TODAY FUN HATERS!!!"


wv: ciest - They "claim" they don't want to ciest me naked, I think they are just jealous.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The duck looks like my neighbor, Gladys.

I just love to celebrate all of the holidays. Time to get nekkid.


July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Drink Ladies

Congrats to Jen ;)

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, my personal hubby and I always say that "nude" is the state of having no clothes on. "Nekkid" is having no clothes on with intentions. Do you have intentions, John?

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Sorry...I was laughing so hard I forgot to look at the cakes....Way to go, Jon (hubby of Jen)!

wv-heritche: These bakers all come from a rich heritche of decorators.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Bring me Big Bird's head on a platter!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflorid nightingale


July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Oh Wow! Can't pass up the WV today...pherst!!!

I'm going to take this holiday to heart.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

FABOO post! can't stop giggling. kudos.

LOVE LOVE LOVE today's post! My only problem is I work with people who need to put more clothes on...not take them off....*sigh*

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

That last cake is the best cake ever. I want that cake. That is not a wreck; it is gold.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

"I'm up here." SNORT!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeth @ Dirty Laundry

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! ROTFL!!!!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Lololol@ the last cake. The other cakes=wtf??

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Methinks you had a little too much fun with this one, John... :P

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Tell me you meant all those double entendres and that I don't just have a disgusting gutter mind.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJHill

I'm thinking Big Bird there is ready to go ninja.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Oh the mental images..... ROFLMAO!!!! John, hubby of Jen... great post today!! Jen - you lucky girl you to check out that 6 pack!! ;-) LOL!!

ghsonc: The sound of my jaw hitting the desk after reading some of the "odder" CW posts

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Maybe it's a hot dog IN a taco... Um... Ahem... (blinkblink)... That sounded way less dirty in my head... O_O

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

This might be the best post ever Jon(the hubby of Jen). Thanks for a fantastic laugh this morning!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

John (THOJ), I'm not sure anyone ever told you that nudity is not nearly as sexy as strategically clothed....

Brain bleach. I need brain bleach for the images you conjured (and I don't mean the cakes).

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Bwahahaha! John you are the master of over-the-top and hilarious posts! I still laugh when I think of your "Lounge Lizard" post, AWESOME. Love love love your sense of humor! Jen is one lucky lady ;-)

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

I really, really want the Something Really Inappropriate cake. It even has sprinkles!

It is second only to the cake my coworker and I have agreed to get each other on our last days of work (if we ever left, that is...)" rel="nofollow">Best retirement cake EVAH!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

I'd join Becky in celebrating this day at work, unfortunately, I have an appointment with a couple of kids in the afternoon... I think that would lead to some jail time.

Too bad it's not my husband's golf day. I'd be a short, brisk walk to the course. bwahahahaha

Awesome post John (thoJ). Awesome comments, too!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

*blink* *blink* O.o

Question 1, Tell your friend that as long as you, I mean he's the only one using it, why should Jen, oops...why should anyone, care?

Question 2, No, wooden stuff in the dishwasher gets splintery after a while. Just sayin'...not good.

Tell your friend they make plastic ones...

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Taco? Hot dog? So what's the stuff on the outside (he asked, not really wanting to know).

What is both cool and ironic about the last one: they spelled 'inappropriate' correctly.

I find myself strangely glad that Cake Wrecks doesn't have a webcam.

wv: pactent. Item #1 on the camping checklist.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Jen is a lucky, lucky woman.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

I always love all of cakewrecks posts, but today took the cake! (Pun intended, thank you, thank you very much.) Today was hilarious! Mildred was just running to get that back scratcher.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Wow, that was SOME post today...

"Something Really Inappropriate" would be good for a bridal shower cake. I think I'll keep that in mind for a certain someone I know who's getting married next year.

The Other Mel

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love this blog so hard!

No, that wasn't a pun.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDemonicSymphony

actually laughed out loud through this whole post.. till i saw the duck then said wow out loud then continued to laugh! great post!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL ... that was great!!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBren-duh from Cana-duh

I am quite skeptic if that is really Jen's husband or a picture off Google search LOL. But the hotco (hotdog/taco) makes me lol.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There are no words for how awesome you guys are. I <3 this blog in particular so much!

of the second cake, my daughter (who will be three in two weeks) said: "That's not a cake, Mommy, that's a pinata!" I'd sure like to hit it with a stick...

Today is my birthday - what a great post to celebrate with!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

I was going to say the taco/hotdog thing looked like a hamburger laying on its side, but it's got white stuff on top, so now I'm not sure anymore!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersusan marie

Thanks for the laughs!
The green turtle and big bird are the best!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p. elephant

I'm thinking hot dog...

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTina

Love the big bird! How creepy!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTorry

HIL.Air.EE.US!! Great job, john (thoJ)!!

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Wow. I'm all hot and bothered! I'm gettin' nekkid and waking my hubby up! Maybe we can go...make a cake...

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaJ

John (THOJ) you seem to forget that many of us have actually met you during your world book tour...and unless you've been working out like Hans and Franz used to your self portrait is photoshopped. ;o)
However, your post was awesome...and I would go with a plastic back scratcher if you want to put it in the dishwasher.

July 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

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