My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Name Blame

I know bakers see a lot of unusual names these days, but sometimes you've still got to wonder: 


 ...are they doing "the drugs?"


 (That's me channeling a little bit of my mom for you, right there. She puts a "the" in front of everything, like going to "the Walmart" or seeing "the Star Wars" or disowning "the daughter.")


Not cool, man. NOT COOL.


There are so many wrecky butterfly cakes coming in this month that my first thought for this next one was that it actually wasn't so bad:


(Funny thing: this one's a lot less phallic than most butterfly wrecks, too.)


From a bakery that uses a lot of clipart:

(Yes, really.)

On the plus side, I've *seen* most bakery clip art out there, and believe me, this is an improvement.


Do you think this next baker finished the cake, looked down, and thought, "Hey, what a coincidence!"?

(And no, for you positive Pollys out there - the birthday boy was not named Nemo.)


Now, you might think you could avoid your own birthday wreck by just having nothing on it.

And, hey, you might be right.






Thanks to Kasha D., Windy S., Anony M., Heather K., Aisha A., Sue P., & Kristen H. for not naming any names.

« Sunday Sweets: A Salute To All Nations, But Really Just America | Main | Start Me Up »

Reader Comments (56)

Nothing on it makes me happy.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

1. Santa’s Elves have birthdays, too.
2. As do Snowmen.
3. Who among us hasn’t shouted “Hot Dog!” on our birthdays?
Okay, those among us over 65.
4. Dear God, they’re making this difficult.
5. For crying out loud, I’m trying to defend you guys.
6. Forget it. I give up. They're idiots.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

On the positive side, at least they actually put sprinkles on the first cake. . .

. . .

Nope, couldn't even convince myself.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndie

I don't get the butterfly-reference? It even says hotdog on the cake, and it doesn't really look like a butterfly (not even a wrecked one) Maybe it's just me missing something?

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Sung to ABBA’s “The Name of the Game”

I’ve seen these cakes, time after time
Ever since this blog was started
It seems to me, for everytime
Wreckerator’s brain departed

You think of the possible names
Someone’s parents chose “Sprinkles”?
The frown lines between my eyebrows
Will be giving me wrinkles
So I gotta say...

Check the name on the cake!
Does it really look right to you?
What’s the name on the cake?
Can you see it the way I do?
Tell me please, ‘cause I have to know
Is that really right?
Do your language skills blow?

Is his name “Snowman”?
Is that what you think?
Does “Hotdog” make sense?
Not unless Mom’s name is “Drink”
They all trusted you, yet you wrote down “Clip”
Would you answer me? Does “Nemo” look right to you?
I bet you’ll pipe “Nothing” too

You gotta go…

Check the name on the cake!

“Not cool, man. NOT COOL.” made me giggle like a twit.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I can't get past the snowman having a neck.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAdria P.

Great job "the Sharyn!" :)

Sung to Adele's "Someone Like You"

I ordered, and you wrote it down,
and you, muffed it up; it’s on cakewrecks now
I heard you can’t believe that it’s true
Guess you thought your cake was too good to be true

Wreckorator, why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to be ashamed of what you piiiiped!
I hate to remind you of “sprinkles” that you added
At least that’s not a CCC with a “snowman” that’s so bad
Can’t you see my face as I pick up my order,
Don’t you know that you're over? (paid that is)

Nevermind, I’ll find someone totally unlike youuu
Who’ll wish me a blank birthday unlike youuuu
You’re in love with your self, you add things to orders on the shelf
But sometimes you claim the order form can’t be read,
Sometimes you claim the order form just can’t be read…

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

I wish I found these funny rather than aggravating. This level of incompetence and stupidity upsets me. I am going to look at Sunday Sweets instead.



Aaaaah, that's better.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Not that I want to start a whole new thread about unusual names, but there is a teller at my bank whose given name is Twinkle. That's what I thought the first cake said at first. But really, parents - Twinkle?!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Just did a spit take over the "nothing on it" cake. I mean, that's... I have no words.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Posting a comment...nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

LOL! It's all in good, clean fun. :)

Actually, I did figure out a perfectly plausible explanation for the names, but the corresponding images wouldn't work out so much. Growing up around clowns, some of those names were not completely unheard of among the group. My brother insisted on being called "Snowman the Clown" for about a year before he grew out of it. Granted, he didn't have any illusions of thinking that he looked like a snowman. That leap in logic could only come from a baker with the grand aspiration of being featured on Cake Wrecks. :)

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

After Orangejello & Lemonjello someone naming
a kid sprinkles really wouldn't surprise me.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

I just..I don't know...who ARE these bakers??

It is so sad that the hot dog one really isn't that bad...

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Can't...comprehend...stupidity O_o

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The first thing I thought of when I saw that Snowman cake was Margaret Atwood's "Orxy and Crake."

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret Thatcher

That "snowman" looks more like a chubby happy ghost to me.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermiriam

I went to school with a girl named "Sparkles" (Honest. To. God) and according to her, getting a birthday cake with her name on it was difficult because it either got interpreted as an order to put *sprinkles* on the cake, or it would end up with edible glitter on it.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessa

Think I'll call my dog Sprinkles......

It's nice the snowman got a cake for his birthday.

Sometimes when I see wrecks like this I have fun imagining what I'd say in my rant to the bakery if I was faced with one of these cakes. Most of it is unprintable.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Maybe the first cake is for a "professional". I could totally see my stripper name being Sprinkles. :-D

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

On the upside, all these recipients now have new nicknames. "How's it going, Sprinkles?"

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLadycrim

A 12 year old snowman? Wow, that's impressive! Mine usually only live a few days or weeks. That would be like a 240 year old human, wouldn't it? Definitely a cake-worthy occasion.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana J.

No, no, no. That doesn't say, "Happy Birthday, Sprinkles". Those Sprinkles are of the Happy Birthday variety, which bring magical birthday bliss to all who partake.

Hee! "What a coincidence!" Hehehe *snort*

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Oh God Ana! I have heard of Orangejello & Lemonjello as well! I was just talking about those names yesterday! Have to point out that they were pronounced oRONgelo and leMAHNgelo.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

I've been slacking and it's been a while since I've visited, but today's post made me laugh out loud multiple times. These kinds of wrecks are my favorite. :)

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWonkafonka

Nothing On It! My favourite so far :)

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCanuck

I grew up with a guy we called Snowman. It apparently stemmed from him wearing snow boots to play basketball. But seeing that cake, aside from the age, I could see someone getting him that .

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I totally thought that snowman cake was a sad attempt at a Hello Kitty cake before I scrolled down to see the whole thing. Am I the only one?

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Maybe, just maybe, they get so many odd requests of what to write on the cakes they just shrug and say, "hey, it wasn't MY idea, that's what they wrote on the order"..



*sigh* yeah, I didn't think so either...

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterflyrchld

I actually love the snowman one.....Especially since it is my last name. No. is. And yes, when I sign for packages for UPS or FedEx and they ask "What's the last name?" I say "Snowman, as in Frosty the".

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrainbowtia

degera has no words. I wish the baker hadn't any words on that last one. The only way it could be worse would be "I don't want any writing."

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

"Just did a spit take over the "nothing on it" cake. I mean, that's... I have no words."

If only the wreckerator had suffered the same dilemma! (Ba-dum-ching!)

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

Disowning the daughter ..... hahahahahahahahahahaha

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPattyMadeIt

The bit about your mom and 'the' made me laugh, because my mom puts 'that' in front of everything to the same effect :)

As far as names go, my sister works with a woman named Bubbly, so I suppose a champagne flute cake would not be out of line.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

I'm with you on the mom thing, Jen. My mom often has 'the headache' or worse yet 'the stomach ache.'

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteriheardthat

"Nothing on It"
A new CW classic!

I'm still laughing.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersam

"Positive Polly." LOL

#1 This cake was for the anniversary of the invention of 'edible' sprinkles, approximately *** years ago (haven't checked the Wikipedia yet). They often taste like they've been around that long, too.

#2 "Happy 12th Birthday, Snowman." -- 'The Falcon'
It does look like they were going for a 'Goodbye, Kitty' tie-in.

#3 To see the butterfly, turn it sideways.

#4 We *know* the recipient will be known as 'Clip' forever more, right?

#5 I immediately went to the Genesis song, 'Scenes From a Night's Dream', a story about a boy called Nemo. Perhaps this cake was ordered by a Jules Verne fan.

#6 "I'd like a cake with nothing on it." Whereupon the counter person totally should have brought out an unfrosted cake. How many submissions have just the one word, 'nothing'?

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@SueBee: I read the "Hotdog!" cake in the voice of George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life. : - )

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I read THE "sprinkles" one and that was it - guffawing out loud. Literally. Throughout the entire page. Seriously tickled my funny bone.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

@Becky: That's a good point. My stripper name actually is Snowman.
Sadly, it's fitting...

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The Hot Dog cake was made in anticipation of the most recent new episode of Good Luck Charlie, just in case Charlie got her wish for baby boy names. Right? Right? *crickets* Come on, I can't be the only childless adult that watches that show! ; )

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAymieJoi

What cracks me up is the cakes where they got the directions both right and wrong. They put sprinkles on the cake (right) and wrote sprinkles (wrong). They made a snowman cake (right) and wrote snowman on the cake (wrong). That takes some special talent unless it's a second person doing the writing.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

Anyone else notice that the last one says "white" on the cake board? Is that in case they can't tell what color the cake is?

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

I'm thinking this led to some hard-to-shake nicknames.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKyasarin

the borders on the clip are one are nicely done.
yup, that's all I got
well, there aren't any cinnamon candies, marzipan pigs or babies popping out of anything- so that's all good, too

@SuBee you fought the good fight, lady!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

"Nothing on it." Classic! You have to have a special kind of talent to screw up a blank cake. Wonder what this wreckerator does when someone orders coffee black, no cream or sugar?

@Craig: It looks like sprinkles were invented sometime in the 1930s, either in New York City or in Holland. Guess we'll never know the specifics.

@Sharyn: Your "pina colada" parody has ruined me for life. All the little frozen drinks are in the stores for the 4th of July. And every time I see the little pina colada drinks, I start to smirk and giggle. I guess everyone thinks that since I'm in the alcohol aisle, I've already started sampling!

June 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Well that cake with nothing on it looks delicious. Lol now whether it is or not depends on what the customer asked for in the cake. I fear for the ones that buy these things. I swear the wreckerator just laughs evilly somewhere in the back as the poor customer tries to figure out what went wrong..sheesh.

June 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

"Positive Pollys"? I think you mean the "Positive Marys."

"Nothing on it." 8-| Do people deliberately go out their ways to mess these up??

June 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea


What's scary is I know what you're talking about. I even know that ultimately they named the kid "Toby" and not "Hot Dog" (luckily for his therapy bills), and Charlie thought he was her best birthday present.

But I have kids.

June 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

why does the snowman look like Hello Kitty?

June 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHairball

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>