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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep142011

WE NEED MORE ROOSTER TEARS

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

"Let's find out!"

 

Firth of all...
I really like saying "firth."

 

Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:

So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."

(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)

 

And thirthly...

Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:

And thirthly...

(Resolve...weakening...)

 

And THIRTHLY...

They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.

They're right.

 

Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:

And thirthly:


Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.

But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!

Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.

Aaand now you're just showing off.

In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."

 

Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.

« T-Minus FOUR WEEKS | Main | Don't MAKE Me Count To Threeth »

Reader Comments (81)

I think you're mistaken, and the second cake used to say 1nd.

And what did they do to Birthday?

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

I really like saying "firth", too. Especially when it's preceded by "Colin"!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

My brain won't let me pronounce "2rd" as anything but "secord."

Fun game: try to guess which cakes have the wrong suffix, and which ones are simply missing a zero. (Or is Jasmine a remarkably sophisticated 3-year-old?)

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Teehee!!

Pity, cause the horse for Julianna's cake is really quite good! :D

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrosie

Maybe Chloe is related to Colin Firth?

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiana

Quin's cake decorator has a burning hated of the letter D.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterholly

It has less to do with an evil plot and more to do with a lousy education system. *~*

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessabean

Okay, the numbers are funny, but can we talk about the magical mystery tour Thomas the tank engine is taking through what appears to be someone's colon? And not a very healthy colon at that. Eeewww! Firthly, they need to change their diet, and turdly...um, yeah.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRixie

Anybody think that 2nd (2rd) cake looks like intestines spread across it? I mean, it's so...thick!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterspeculativedryad

Please say I wasn't the only one who mentally pronounced the name on the last cake "Ruthell".

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie W.

Double bonus points for the 4th (4rd?) cake (for Quin) with the misspelled "Birthay".

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDrew Montag

My 3rd (ha, ha! I did it right!) grade teacher Miss Mincey is turning over in her grave at the decline in ability to use ordinal numbers. So, so sad. Off to quiz my own kids about how to abbreviate first, second and third!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

2rd two-rd...turd - it goes with the little brown and yellow turds on the horse cake.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

After reading all those "ths", I read the last cake as "Happy birthday, Ruthell" completely unintentionally.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Sutherin' succotash!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

"3th" is pronounced "threeth". Duh!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTodd

Ath: Everybody KNOWS all numbers end in "th," just like "it's" ALWAYS has an apostrophe, so whats's you're point?

Bth: The rooster is crying because they used his intestines to write out the inscription on Elizabeth'ths cake, and

Cth: I really DID want to say "2rd" out loud, so thanks.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

What is the name on the purple cake supposed to be???

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShanny

May I please join Capes for Cakes, too? Please???

Also, I am so glad to see that your "Winter Underlined" tour is coming to Dallas-ish!! I live in the Dallas-ish area so I will be hoping to see you!

Love the blog, keep on wrecking, you guys make my day every day!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterceedee

I must be the only one who thought the fourth cake said "2uin". I thought it worked rather well with the "3th birthay". It's been a long time since I've seen a cursive upper-case "Q" but that still looks more like a "2" to me!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Can we use 2rd when texting to say turd?

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Maybe it's just me, but I was disappointed the last cake didn't say "Happy 3th Birthday RUTHELL". Although it doesn't matter, because when I read it in my head I said "Ruthell." Then I thnickered, er, snickered.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe ZB

Why is Mrs. Villian married? Do you have something against single vililans?

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTweety

Is that child's name Anasyn? Spelled like anus, pronounced like a headache remedy?

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTraci

Took me a moment to figure out the last one was an arial view of Thomas the Tank Engine...It looked like a cell phone pooping stripped s shaped stool to me.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterncfriend

I'm from Souteast Idaho and we actually have a town here called "Firth"! Several years ago (1995 I think), Jerry Van Dyke did a commercial for the Lottery here. He was going through various town names and Firth was one of them. He says it several times with a very confused look on his face. I think he even says something like "I really like saying 'Firth'!" Thanks for the memories!!!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Is the name on the purple cake Anasyn? Like the over the counter medication, Anacin? If so, poor kid!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHillaire

I'm not sure whether to pronounce "2rd" as "secord" or "two-ord."

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

Next I am expecting to see cakes that read Happy 12nd and Happy 13rd

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

These crack me up! They also remind me of a wise old saying by Billboy Baggypants, "Today is my twelvety twoth birthday. I'm twice as tall as half of you and half as short as twice of you." (Veggie Tales Lord of the Beans)

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRU

I am a bad, bad Wreckie. Julianna's horsie was damn near perfect in the eyes of this fan, whose horsie phase lasted FAR longer than was deemed acceptable by the AMA.... The rest? I plead the 5rd.

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer in Houston

You know, once you read the "firth birthday" cake out loud, you have to keep talking in a lisp...

I agree with Naomi that hopefully Jasmine's cake error is the wrong number, not the letters after. I don't know of any 3 year-old who would enjoy a rolled sponge cake topped with fruit...and is that parsley???

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

I see they also spelled "elizabeth" incorrectly..... ;)

Why is it so hard for people? Do they not say these numbers out loud before piping it onto a cake? Sheesh, though I might order a cake for my 34rd b-day next year.....

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

@Naomi: I was wondering what 3 yr old in their right mind would choose that cake?

@Rixie: I first thought the track was a slide but I think you're on the right track!

@Shanny: I'm with you. What is this name?

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjane

Yeah...who get's a cake like Jasmine's for a three year old anyway????? Boooooo!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

ok, you win! 2rd cracked me up. (Yes, it rhymes with word)

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren.Valinda

@ TwinMom: I'd assumed it was mint, but on closer inspection, I think you're right. Jasmine lives in a magical land where every day is your 3th birthday, and at half past 25 o'clock you dine on berries and parsley, while roosters weep.

Then again, parsley is a natural breath freshener; maybe somebody was trying to drop a hint?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

OK--I must be really messed up. I saw the first picture and thought "oneth" instead of "firth." I blame it on my left-handedness.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterplanoamy

Why put the year on the cake in the first place? Why not just "Happy Birthday Kid" or even just "Happy Birthday" and avoid misspelling someone's name. Sure, it's a little impersonal and generic, but the wreckerators have a hard time getting those two words spelled right as it is. That would at least give them a chance to make it right.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

You know what you should do Jen come to New Zealand you would be suprised at how many people read your blog over here. Im so depressed I cant come see your "winter underlined" tour, Free cake sounds nice... and I wouldn't mind one of those carrot jockey necklaces arent they adorable. Anyway i've been a cake wrecks reader since 2010 and haven't missed one blog yet. I love everything about cakewrecks!!!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaddison

I seem to be the only one who tries to pronounce "2rd" as "securd". Not "secured" but "sec-urd". The number failings are always the strangest to me. I can understand misspelling a word (well, except "falkersatherhood" but that's a completely different story) but how do you get the ordinal numbers wrong?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIncognito

This reminds me of a real conversation I had with my wife & 10-year-old this summer.

Wife: "I went to see the new movie 'Thor' today. Afterwards there was a preview for the sequel."
10-year-old: "What's it called?"
Me: "Thor 2th."

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoy

I too thought immediately of Colin Firth ( Mr Darcy in the wet shirt!)

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiddleymaz

i just gotta ask--is that person's name "Anasyn"? as in, anacin? as in, the headache medicine?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfai

What is the meaning of "rooster tears?" I Googled it but it yielded nothing! Your entries usually have such clever titles but this one is beyond me!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie B.

Aww, I was having a bad start to my day......and Cake Wrecks re-piped it for me. Thanks again and Wreck On!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDale

Bless me, what do they teach them in these schools?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

I was kind of waiting for a 4st. Does anyone think the purple cake's name is spelled incorrectly? It could be Arasyn, or Anasyn, or it could be something like Allasyn, and the wrecker has weird l's, and *twitch* sounded it out *twitch*. Or couldn't read the order, and the double l's were looped together by a leaky pen.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Watson: "But where could the despicable villain be hiding out, Holmes?"

Holmes: "Elementary, Watson. He is headquartered at the Firth of Forth."

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBob

How on earth did those people get jobs??? And what job agency did they use to get them?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

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