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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep142011

WE NEED MORE ROOSTER TEARS

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

"Let's find out!"

 

Firth of all...
I really like saying "firth."

 

Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:

So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."

(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)

 

And thirthly...

Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:

And thirthly...

(Resolve...weakening...)

 

And THIRTHLY...

They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.

They're right.

 

Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:

And thirthly:


Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.

But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!

Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.

Aaand now you're just showing off.

In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."

 

Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.

« T-Minus FOUR WEEKS | Main | Don't MAKE Me Count To Threeth »

Reader Comments (81)

@Karen - it took me a second to realize the name was "Quin" instead of "2 uin" and I think part of it is due to the large spacing they put after the Q.

@planoamy - I also read it as "oneth" instead of "firth" so you are not the only one!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Thirthly... Thank you for making me laugh. But for some reason you sounded like Daffy Duck in my head today. I'm not sure why.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

I too would really like to know the meaning of Rooster Tears. I have a feeling it's probably something really obvious but I'm missing it.

Also - sutherin' succotash?

Thomething not right there...

;o)

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Holy gobs of icing, Batman! That pink one for Elizabeth with the mystery shiny, plastic, warped locomotive that (turn head) I just realized is a wand. Is that the Diabetes Special?

I just celebrated by 40st Birthday on the 10rd. Trying say that one. 10rd. New band name: Lynrd 10rd. <snort> Lynrd 10rd.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle C.

My son's name is ANAKIN, not Anasyn!!! I am not paying for this cake! And the 4th will definitely not be with YOU!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterdB

I'm surprised you didn't point out that the "securd" "thirth" cake was dedicated to "2 win". :)

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Am I the only one bothered by the "J" in the 5th cake? Everything else is in cursive and a cursive "J" doesn't look like that. So, as it's written that "J" is a "T" and so it looks like the name is "Tulianna" to me.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

Firthly, Jen I am SO excited that you are coming to Concord (Charlotte-ish) on the tour! I think I almost deafened my hubby when I squeed in delight!

2rd: Cake 2th - Pepto pink and barely legible. Loverly.
Cake 3th - WHO?! Arasyn? Anasyn? o.O
Cake 4rd - I think this cake is for an entirely new celebration. Something involving "birthays" and twins (spelled cleverly as "2uin") and not for Quin's Threeth Birthday.
Cake 5nd - That "H" knows how bad this cake is. It's trying to escape by flying away!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjubileegems

These aren't cardinal sins, they're ordinal sins!

And I recall a dentist having a vanity plate on his car that read "2TH DR."

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterxevo

I read the name on the purple cake as "Anasys" which could mean the cake was commemorating some company's threeth year of doing business. I suspect they do some kind of system analysis.

And is the name on the horse cake supposed to be "Tulianna," or does the baker just not know how to make a cursive J?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Poor Anasyn. I was thinking medicinal thoughts, and then had slight lapse in focus and thought maybe that's the femine form of Antonym...but that makes even less sense.

Guess it's time to go find a glass of milk and some chocolate cake with NO frosting.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I agree... it's THREETH. I couldn't stop pronouncing it like that. LOL!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

*CRUNCH!*

Thrrrree. (That's a rolling R there, in case you wondered. How exactly does one type a rolled R?? Inquiring minds want to know.)

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMin

Remember the video of the lady who sued for the cost of the party because her kids name was misspelled and lost? Well I think poor Quin's mother would win. Who did they let write on that cake? Couldn't have been older than little Quin herself!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMisty Dawn

I'm a tutor and it's funny that today, someone actually wrote "1/3 = one threeth." It's the first time I've EVER encountered that. I think people *really* don't know their ordinal numbers.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

Where is my comment? :(

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

Well, it was funny and topical. Enjoy my phantom comment internet. This is technically my 3th comment.

:) )

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

Why does the 6nd cake have the name blanked out? Is it because we would instantly recognize whose cake it was-- as in happy 3th birthday Kal-el ? or Pilot Inspektor Lee? or Happy 3th Birthday Jermajesty? Very thoughtful not to want to traumatize the little 3th year old anymore. As if you could traumatize Jermajesty anymore than the name already has. (no offense Jermaine) Hey I think I can see the top of the J.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

Am I the only one who read the name on the purple cake as "Arasyn"...like, trying to say Allison with a bad Chinese accent?

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

#1- no, no, Colin is Firth.

#2- that looks like “bisthday” to me. And “Elizebeth.” Wait, is that a whipped topping cake they “fixed” with butter cream??? Seriously, I think they did.

#3- after they frosted the cake with that horrific color I think it’s clear they didn’t care. Anything after that was overkill.

#4- on what continent/planet/plane of existence is “2 uin” a name?

#5- the horse is trying to flee the scene of the crime. Poor baby.

#6- (happy, stunned silence while contemplating a pastoral scene without piles of glistening poo)

#7- it seems they covered bird poo with fruit to distract us

#8- I got nothing. I didn't just run out of steam here, people, I mean I really got nothing looking at that!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Firth is my favoite!!! especially if it involves Colin :)

My question is not how they come up with these numbers, but what's blocked out on the green cake? I'm thinking it may be a Dora theme cake???

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlma

@Alma

I have NO idea what is blocked out on the 6rd cake (and have an idea we probably don't want to know), but I do know for sure that is a "Go Go Diego"-themed cake. You know, Dora's adventuresome cousin who lives all alone (well, except for occasional visits from his amiga Alicia) in a treehouse in the jungle rescuing animals with no parents or visible means of support. Slightly odd, that. (Yes, I have small rugrats who watch WAY too much TV.)

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Ha--I bet on the 3th cakes, the decorators (sorry, decorator's) left off the 1. So instead of reading 13th, they read 3th. Especially on the Thomas The Tank Engine Cake.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Does that horse have the "trots"?

BA-DUM-BUM<B><I>-CHHHH</B>

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie N

Ok, the "2rd" made me spit my salad out everywhere! Gross!!

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlharker

Now you're scaring me. My son's birthday party is this weekend and I've ordered a cake with Happy 4th Birthday. Hopefully, my local bakery does not have the Super Villain lurking below the fondant.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrigid

I'm sitting here holding my baby, laughing uncontrollably, and my 4-year old is yelling, "What, mom? WHAT?!" Gads, that is too funny.

September 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSisifo

I always try to be conscientious and read ALL the comments before commenting.
In this case, I am sure those numbers are
oneth
twoth
and threeth.

October 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatanea

...I hate curly ribbon on a cake.... and lousy spelling....but then most customers want you to write a whole "story line" on a 8 inch cake...so I guess I can understand the spelling errors....I have been decorating cakes for 20 years and the other day I "gasped" OH NO when I was writing a birthday message and it said....Happy 9th Birtday Rocco Joe! OH dear I forgot the "H".....how could I have done that! I squeezed it in but it was a GEL mESSSSSS I mean what can you do in 2 minutes when the customer is waiting?

October 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterme too!

Apparently this epidemic also extends to more permanent artifacts of infastructure: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/m17gh/found_this_while_sitting_in_traffic/
It's a tragic time for our world.

November 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Firthly, we theal caketh.
Thecondly . . . and thecondly . . .
Thwirdly is pwofit!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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