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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep162011

Market "Shares"

When it comes to advertising their goods, this bakery knows just how to squeak by:

IT'S A TRAP!!


Of course, not every label can be so appetizing:

Because "Ball Sack" was just a little too formal.

 

And speaking of Balzac...

Let's be realistic: It's French. No one will notice.

 

Now here's a place that knows just how to garner the most business with their promotional mailers:

Yep, blurring out their contact information was definitely the right move.

 

And finally, this bakery gets the gold star for truth in advertising:

Hey, you can't say they didn't warn you.

 

Thanks to Michelle M., Julie M., Tiffany H., Naveed & Athena, & Kristen Y. for signing us up.

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Reader Comments (87)

Ok, I completely misread that as "Hole Pie", which doesn't make it any *more* appealing, just makes the transition to Ball Sack even funnier, IMHO. That one just floored me!

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn (dish)

Maybe that "hole pile" is what you use to find out how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall...... maybe.....?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Is it significant that the picture of the hole pile is in the #2 slot?!?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura H

Does "free" mean you'll pay for it later?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieschoe

#1: Am I the only one who saw "Rosemary's Baby?"

Do. Not. Eat. That. CAKE!

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I had a bad case of croisintis once. I couldn't get out of bed for a week.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPiper

On that first cake the slices look fairly big -- we'd need the mice to be hungry. But I think they're not allowed to eat chocolate, so we might need to reconsider. (And besides, then they'd want a glass of milk!)

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermouse

OMG I need a vacation....all I could think of with the "hole pile" was "Thank goodness they didn't call them Glory Holes" LOL

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Looking over the thrifty ice cream. What in the world kind of cake? At least I know what kind of cake I will get if I go there. The hat is cracked. The cake looks like it's about to fall. The swirls don't help in one bit. The roses, as mentioned earlier, look like potato chips. The colors just make no sense. We can do better. We can do a lot better.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

Many are missing the real label on the mounded rounds of doughnuts labeled as "hole pile." Maybe I should explain to the goofy Gomers amongst us that Pile is another name for hemorrhoids and hole is another name for sphincter. That means the label proclaims this as a pain in the ass. <p>
Bit of TV trivia for the Wreckie audience: this explains why Gomer's last name on the show was Pyle.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBill Cary

I find it amusing that on this side of the Atlantic there's TWO more spelling mistakes than on your side:

personaliSe

and

DOUGHNUTS ;-)

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertoonfan

I think "hole bunch" would have sounded a lot better... and thrifty Ice cream... yum! We have a couple of places around here that sell Thrifty ice cream :), but no one has the cylindrical scoop. :(

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I was a very lucky child. My mother enjoyed stopping for Thrifty ice cream even more than I. My childhood realization of that fact catalyzed my epiphany that grown-ups are human too.
Man, now I want ice cream. Why did I become a vegan? Thank heavens I'm not strict.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMariaTeresa

Craig’s back in fine form!

SuBee- Croisintis was actually Estonian and wrote a diatribe against kissing. We celebrate the anniversary of his death every April 7.

Billsbayou- TMI and you should have sent her the doctor’s bill.

Now I feel left out as I used to live in CA and shop at Thrifty but never got a cone there (the guys on duty had suspicious hygiene at the one where I shopped). O.o

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Susan, I too went to the Beatles for #2, but I couldn't make it jell as a comment (it was dark outside). I'll try again:

Hole pile: the number of holes required to fill Albert Hall. Mr. Hall must not have much of an appetite.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

1. I think someone needs to call in the health department, if their mouse infestation is so bad, they're proud of it!

2. At least they're not chocolate.

3. I can imagine that there multiple ways to mis-spell croissants (e.g.cross-ons), but how could croisintis make any sense. Oh, right, I'm assuming these bakery folks are acquainted with logic.

4. The cake is a wreck-- the edge by the "GR" is indented, the "A" is raised, the swirls are lumpy and the edge at the bottom is smudged. And if they handed out the flyer with their contact information smudged that's beyond wrecky. But hey, points for decent spelling (not perfect punctuation, but I won't be picky since it was above average!)

5.I like the theories that it's a tattoo place offering free cake. But I dont' think I want them branding me for life if that's their spelling

Mousse and swirl sounds good... although moose and squirrel could be the restaurant next door.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I LOVED Thrifty's ice cream when I was a kid! Wow, I hadn't thought of that in years and I certainly didn't "get" it from the ad. So glad there are sharper eyes out there than mine - thanks for the pleasant trip down memory lane. Now I want an Butter Pecan ice cream cone!

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori

@Anne

A mouse is a small animal with a penchant for cheese, which sometimes lives in the desert.

A moose is a large quadruped living in Alaska, although not a baked Alaska, which is a kind of dessert.

A mousse is a fluffy dessert, sometimes chocolate flavored.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTheOregonian

I have to share this with you today - I got a note from a coworker yesterday and at the end it said

Thanks "Maria"

I don't know whether she doesn't believe my name is really Maria, or whether she thinks I'm an imposter and that I've dumped the real Maria in a hole somewhere. Which I totally didn't. I'm really me. >.>

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFixer

"Hole Pile"... "Ball Sack"... (blinkblink)... BWA, HAhAhaHAhahAhAhAhAhAhAhahAhahaHAHahahAhahAhahAhAhahAhAhaahAHahAHAhahAha!!!

(sniff)... (wiping away tears)... Thanks. I needed that...

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Croisintis: A disorder of the cake and pastry eating patron resulting in a distinct fear of all Croissants and other French pastries. Symptoms include fear of Casablanca, Captain Picard and all Champagne and Burgundies.
To cure watching a marathon of Star Trek:TNG and copious visits from the Pillsbury Dough Boy until cured. A infusion of baguettes is also recommended.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

As far as #1, I definitely prefer my mouse to be chocolate, strawberry or vanilla is not half as good.

However, maybe it's just me but up here in Canada (not sure if that has anything to do with this, but hey, we haven't had a Canuck bashing/defending post in a long time so I thought I'd throw it in...) I sometimes refer to a 'pile' as a medical condition generally requiring a dose of Preparation H. So, then if you just take it a small step further "Hole Pile" makes absolute sense. If you remove anything edible. Right.

And as an added bonus, I live not 5 minutes away from a small town called Balzac. We frequently pronounce it 'ball sac' just because it's better that way.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaury

I want some thrifty ice cream topped with thrifty sprinkles.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

Wow, "Mousse and Swirl" - the world needs this! As soon as possible! I know I'd eat there.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGatorgirl

My wife and I think "croisintis" means "crostinis." That doesn't make it any more excusable. :\

September 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhrm

For No. 1, I was wondering if it was a crunchy mouse; I have become quite fond of crunchy frog chocolates, so I would try the cake willingly IF it were a crunchy mouse. Otherwise, no.

September 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

Mmmm. Crunchy mouse and a nice, steaming mug of Conquistador Instant Coffee.

September 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Is it possible that they meant CROSTINI? The italian appetizer? Small pieces of toast with different kinds of toppings/spreads. It would be a much more forgiveable error. Other than the fact that Crostini is already plural and there for the extra 's' would be completely extraneous.

Nevermind. What the heck kind of bakery woud sell crostini, anyway? Pretty sure I need to stop overthinking these posts and just enjoy the giggles.

September 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRM

That's what I thought, too.
If they sell Texas Toast, why not Italian Toast?
Selling either in a store is pretty silly.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Mousse and swirl, isn't that what you get at a trendy hairdresser's where they serve wine and nibbles? To me it sounds like a descendant of the bulbous bouffant, not dessert.

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRev W

Love this page, you get some great sweets here but I have to say that the cookies made by Carmie00 were the greatest things I have seen, that takes one heck of an imagination ant art to pull that off.
Thanks again for a great URL.
Euphus

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEuphus

what does thrifty ice cream mean? no nevermind i dont want to know

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

Thrifty. I adore your rainbow sherbet and chocolate malted crunch. GO NATIONAL, ALREADY!

September 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori

I'm hyperventalating and laughing at the exact same time. Didn't know THAT was possible! Check out my blog: www.fixingfriendships.wordpress.com

September 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

im confused about what's wrong w/ the ad (#4). help?

October 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterali

To Annie: The sign says "Mouse" instead of "Mousse"

December 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSamiTy1922

What is the joke with the cake ad? At first I thought that the cake was spelled wrong but it's not. It is an ugly cake. What is up with the graphics in the bottom left corner also? Am I the only 1 that sees an evil baby face on a coffee cup, with a little flag sticking out the handle? Really though, what is the joke on this ad?? It's driving me so crazy that I keep reading it over & over again! (Guess that's why I'm seeing little evil baby faces on it.)

January 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobbi/Sugarrrsmack

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