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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan112012

I'm Actually NOT Ready For Some Football

I generally try to avoid sports-related stuff like watching ball games, playing ball games, or excessive movement, but even *I* can tell by my Facebook feed that something sports-related is going on. (Or went on. Or is going to go on. STOP PRESSURING ME I JUST DON'T KNOW OKAY?)

So I asked John about it, and he said he thought it was football season. Which might explain some of the stranger submissions I've been getting this week.

Like this:

Thank goodness. I've been waiting for You Teaw to get here for WEEKS.

 

Or this:

This is actually a perfect visual representation of my sports knowledge: half hearted, blatantly incorrect, and really confusing.

 

And speaking of confusing:

Ew.

 

LITTLE KNOWN SPORTS FACT: Did you know footballs are like puffer fish? It's true! Check it out:

INFLATED

 

DEFLATED

 

And while we're at it, remember those Hanukkah cakes with the five-pointed stars? Well, here's your problem:

Turns out there was just a mix-up with the Dallas "Cow-Boys."
(Oy vay! Get that pig skin outta here!)

 

Now it's time to play everyone's favorite football-cake-related game:

TURKEY!! OR!! FOOTBALL?!

Sooo... Turkey? Or football?

Take your time; I'll just be over here humming the Jeopardy theme in between dry heaves. (Is that paprika? *hurk*)

 

Now this, on the other hand, is a football cake I'd totally buy:

This is an intentional joke Amber made for her bakery manager, but it turned into an unintentional wreck when he put it out on the sales floor to sell. I like to think someone with a similarly snarky sensibility snapped it up.

 

And finally, a "cake" that perfectly sums up all this football wreckage:

My thoughts exactly.

 

Thanks to Amber M., Binah, Nilolai N., Rachel L., Claire G., Ellen D., Caitlyn H., Amber G., & Benjamin B. for the home "runs." [snerk]

« Getting Ahead | Main | The Letter of the Flaw »

Reader Comments (70)

Contrary to popular belief, Canadian football does NOT use a beaver as the ball, as shown in the deflated picture. We really use the same ball as the Americans, even though our rules are a bit different.
To let you know, in the CFL we have six teams, with 2 of them named the Roughriders. and our season lasts about six weeks. For some reason, pro football players do not like to play in the snow.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

I'm wondering if in the second cake the "sprinkles" are supposed to be a crowd of people ... ya know, watching the field ... though WHY there are three footballs on that cake has me wondering ...

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterD

This post made me laugh and laugh (except for that last cake that made my mind freeze up with the horror of a solid pile of icing or a cupcake completely iced over from top to bottom). Only you could look at 2 chocolate icing-covered baked goods representing footballs and think, "puffer fish." Love all the sprinkles in this post.

Had fun reading the comments, too.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

@Melissa, we share a deep love and understanding of sports. Thank goodness the Sox have Arnold Palmer on their team--that's how they brought home all those gold medals in synchronized swimming at the last Olympics. That's how they caught the puffer fish, and stuffed it into that zippered turkey.
Sports in general is FABULOUS!

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Why did they put almonds on poo? And your comment about cake #2 descirbes me perfectly! And for the last one, I think an inexperienced decorator tried to make a vertical football, but forgot about gravity.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Did anyone else first think that the "DEFLATED" football cake was a beaver? Because I totally did...

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichaela

Bwa Ha Ha, why is that pile of poo staring at me with those googly eyes?

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatiKat

I am dying of laughter at that last cake. Is it the wreckerators statement about football season? Or just sheer laziness and they didn't care about making a cake to go with that pile of..love. Lol.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I thought #2 was a visual pun on 'the Crimson Tide', but it isn't crimson. 'The Sprinkles Tide' doesn't sound nearly as menacing, somehow.

In the spirit of 'I'm totally late checking in,' I'm going to let the earlier SL invocation slide. This time. Besides, I think we're still at DOC Con2.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I love those sweet sport inspirations and as I am a fan of the chocolate I would say that the Ew cake looks perfect for me.
Greets list your flat for Olympics

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteradie andrews

Why in the world would the "football is fabulous!" cake have images of the Boston Red Sox on it? I love sports - and yes, I am a woman - but come on. They even have baseball bats on them! That's just ridiculous.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I love the baseball sticks in the pink football cake... "fabulous"

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

What I love about your intro to this post is...I've been seeing lots of what I assume are sports related posts on Twitter and Facebook lately, and this morning I actually had the thought "I bet this name I keep seeing is an athlete...I could look him up to find out who it is..."

....but I didn't...because I care about sports as much as you! :-)

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina in Seattle

@Melissa
I hear the Red Sox are a shoe in for the US Open, PGA Golf Masters and the 2012 Olympic gold medal in synchronized swimming.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmamonkey

If Amber isn't still employed I'm paying her rent for the month!! :D That was freakin' fabulous. (Am I allowed to stay? I knew the Red Sox were baseball and not football...hangs head in shame.)

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

The Jewish star is called The Star of David and it has six points. Think two triangles on top of each other, one pointing up and one pointing down. :D

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I love the baby footballs nursing on the big football.

January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKris S

Maybe the turkey v. football one is actually an, I'm sorry you had to get stitches, cake instead? No?That's a shame because if it were I would have paid good money for it. Well Mrs. Bakerwoman, you just missed a sale. Good day! I said good day.

January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. One Day

The fabulous cake has baseball pics in it...!!!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Gotta say, I was going through these, and remembered a Cookie Cake that didn't sell during Super Bowl weekend. I had laughed my butt off at some of the Super Bowl screw ups, then the next day I pulled back a cookie that said and I quote "Super Bow" , yes, I was the person who screwed that one up. LOL...

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

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