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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan162012

Everything MUST GO!

"Excuse me, where's your toy department?"

"Let me answer that question with another question:

How picky are you about licking potentially food-grade plastics?"

Yep, you can always tell when bakeries are cleaning out last year's plastic flotsam inventory. Or, as I like to call it: when Darth makes new friends.

Say, d'you think if Vader were to force-choke Spongebob he'd get all wet?

Or would he just threaten to mop the floor with him?

(Because eels always look like they just told a joke and are waiting for a reaction.)

Ahem.

Moving on...

 

"Good news, boss! This customer wrote 'just make it pretty' on her order form."

"HOT DANG!! Pass me the flotsam bucket."

The lobster really pulls it together.

 

Of course, there's no reason we can't be artistic about it.

I call this one, "The Meaning Of Life, With A Fast Food Crotch Grab On The Side."

Luckily her hair matches the icing, too, so we might even find a few surpriii-seees!

 

And this one's called, "Can YOU Say, 'Yooooouuu'rrre OUT!'?

"...'Cuz Indiana Jones 4 Sucked Huevos. Am I Right, Boots?"

Ok, so that title's a little wordy. I'll keep working on it.

 

"Well, boss, we did it. There's just one piece left - a spare from our old Halloween kits. Should I throw it away?"

"Throw it away? Are you kidding? Of course not! Give it here."

"TA-DA!!

"Now we can sell it by the foot!"

 

Hey Shelli A., Kris T., Janie L., Jenn C., Lindsey S., Janie L., & Anony M, wheeeen theeee joke seems to fly like a big whoopie pie...that's a moray!

« Terribly Inappropriate | Main | Sunday Sweets: Put A Bird On It »

Reader Comments (81)

Not only has Darth Vader made new friends, he obviously loves sprinkles!!

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa P.

Love the eels!!

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentereel fan

Ok, these monstrosities are pretty horrific, but you have to admit the little piggy in the mud puddle in the first picture is pretty cute. I want someone to make me a cute little pig on a chocolate mud puddle. Fondant, gum paste, whatever edible material so long as it's that adorable!

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

Wha...and the...how is...and what's that...wow.

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

Someone give them babies a carrot each to ride on!

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersmauge

OMG! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! I just about wet myself! (Indiana Jones 4 did indeed suck huevos.)

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddess

Okay, the doll in the yellow catsuit who is grabbing her crotch . . . what exactly is she supposed to represent? Is there a "Li'l She Bop" retro-styled sex ed book for tweens out there or . . . something?

Or, wait, is she doing yoga? With her hair in the frosting? "The Precious Moments Yoga Poses Collection?"

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Islander

Oh man.. I bet mom just didn't quite know what to say when she saw her cake. All those hobbies must keep her busy lol. And dang it now the song is stuck in my head ..I need to watch "Princess Bride" now so I don't lose my mind laughing at all these cakes.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That last "cake" has me singing* "Ding Dong the witch is dead, which old witch? the wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!"
*
(ok maybe I'm not actually singing, but it is stuck in my head now)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

I just came over here from Epbot - and all these calm commenters just having their 'lolz'. DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT NEARLY HAPPENED??? Sigh. I feel shaky.
That said, I realise that its very selfish of the world just to expect to have CakeWrecks everyday without any thought as to how much effort and exhaustion you guys go through to get it to us, and i just want to say thank you so much. Really.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

"DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT NEARLY HAPPENED??? Sigh. I feel shaky."
Sarah, what nearly happened? I don't see CW frequently because my ISP is a faceless incompetent monomaniac...but I digress. Tell us what happened!

PS Craig thanks for reminding me of "my MA-ther's paella!"!
And Chenaya, future Grammys to you....

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

So glad this isn't the last edition of Cake Wrecks. One of my favorite daily reads.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDina

I never -- ever -- realized WHAT ALMOST HAPPENED until Sarah came over from EPBOT. (I read Cake Wrecks first every morning, then EPBOT, so missed the almost announcement)
Jen, John (THoJ), number 1, guest posters, the regular commenters & come-out-of-lurking-on-occasion posters, youall make my day brighter & happier & I can't imagine my life without Cake Wrecks & EPBOT fixes. You are appreciated more than you'll ever know.
Peggy, RN -- faithful reader, lurker-extraordinaire.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy, RN

My daughter would probably *ask* for the Star Wars-Spongebob-Scooby Doo (apparently they just randomly grabbed flotsam from the "S" bin) cupcakes.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

AH creepy eels are creepy!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

Seriously, Cakewrecks makes my day!
one of the BEST POSTS EVER!

Laughing so hard, may have peed my pants...
good day

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersimplesquirrel

I will be singing about Morays for the rest of the day. Thank you so much!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrosencreature

Today's post really cheered me up. I just had nose surgery yesterday and I needed a good laugh, however corny the jokes may be. Thanks Jen!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

You should know: This is the funniest post you've written in a LONG time (and that says a lot because they all make me giggle and my coworkers wonder if I'm really working). Keep up the great work!!!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlissa

That Mom one looks exactly like my cake would look like if the baker brought my three kids a bucket of flotsam and said "Hey kids, pick out what you want and stick it on there!" then turned away to help another customer (course, if that actually happened there would also be finger marks from where they "sampled" the icing, and possibly a big smear across the cake from where one got in a fight with his brother over flotsam placement).

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGale

I try to read CW every night, but sometimes have too much after-work work to do, and so I read 2-3 posts at a time. So, I'm just now reading that a tragedy was barely avoided! I love you guys, and have to chime in with the others when I say I'm so glad your spirit has been renewed and you're able to continue on with CW for now. Thank you! And to be sure I have a slower wean in the event that the dreaded day does arrive, I decided I can squeeze in 2 blogs and so I just subscribed to EPBOT.

From another one of your almost-too-creepily-adoring fans....i love you.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJillie B

Is it just me, or did the Star Wars cupcakes appear to also be sporting a condom? I mean, really...what IS that thing?!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYikes

I'm a little shocked that only one other commenter seemed to realize what was missing from the cookie cake: a house! D: Why didn't they pick up one from the playskool aisle when they were appropriating all the other toys?

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay Qy

Hey let's get our titles right. Indiana Jones 4 was REALLY titled "Indiana Jones and the Irritable Bowel."

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

So I'm laughing so hard at the eels (OMG you are so right!) that my husband, who is in the other room, just keeps looking at me like I have 2 heads or something. He's probably about to have me committed. He doesn't have my WONDERFUL sense of humor, or I'd show him why I'm laughing! We'll just keep this to ourselves! :-)

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Just read this at work. "The Library" of all places. Got to the Moray and truly laughed out loud so loudly that everyone, including the ones with earphones, looked at me.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

OMG i was laughing so hard boh my kids came in to see what the problem was and they didnt get it .... I dont think I will ever be able to go to the aquarium again... for fear of cracking up at the site of an eel and never stopping. Laughing with tears sreaming down my face!!!!
so good jen so good. Why I love your blog never stop!!

January 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjenzizcool

OH MY GOSH! The eels! Brilliant! Hahahaha!

February 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermelanie

hey, EEL HERE! *boom* OH GOD RUN *a bunch of bronies run around you in an angry mob and tell you to make an MLP cake* OH GOD RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! *gives bronies a pony*

Funnier with the...alternate meaning...of huevos.

May 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did anyone else notice that the babies on the corner of the "Happy Birthday Mom" cake are the same ones as on the very first cakewreck?

August 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHannah S.

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