My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Terribly Inappropriate

A few of you are aware that today is a kind of milestone for me, since it's the day John and I planned many months ago to end this blog.

I'm happy to report this is not goodbye, however. You'll be stuck with me - bad puns and all - for a while longer at least.

So, to celebrate the fact that absolutely nothing noteworthy is happening here today, allow me to present something really inappropriate:

See? It's seasonally inappropriate!

[head tilt] Er...among other things.

And really, wouldn't "Happy HooHoo" sound better? Or did the baker realize - as I just did - that that sounds like a new feminine hygiene product?

"Happy HooHoo: for all your salsa-dancing/horseback-riding/splashing-through-the-ocean-surf needs. Because you totally do those things. If you're a REAL woman."


Ok, that veered into unexpectedly inappropriate places. Sorry. Let's stick with seasonal impropriety, shall we? You know, like this:

"Hey. I'M UP HERE."

Something something dairy-free! Haha!

Feels good to get that off my chest.

The nuts, I mean.

The CRUSHED nuts, I mean. Jeez. Get your mind out of the gutter already. It's getting crowded in here.


Ok, forget seasonally inappropriate: this is just plain wrong.


Well, maybe more logs than stems...



Thanks to Megan H., Dion H., & Katie B. from the bottom of my peach.

« I Got Your Back, PA | Main | Everything MUST GO! »

Reader Comments (168)

Oh. My. The red spots on the last picture do not improve matters. o.O

P.S Thank you so very much for creating this wonderful blog. And extra thanks and a big hug for not ending it. It'd be like losing a really good friend.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Wow, complete with hemorrhoids and all. I'm so glad you're not leaving us, I may not comment a lot, but I read and lmao every day. Keep up the great work.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

I must have missed the notice - HOW could you end this blog?!? I live for Cakewrecks. The whole crew is uplifting and so funny. Love the Sunday Sweets. And, Jen, you give too much joy to end this post.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCeCe

It means I can still start my day AND I can potentially have a happy hoohoo.

Every now and then you post the worst thing I've ever seen. That log and stem confection (?) brings me to around 12 worst things I've ever seen. It's so simple yet so nauseating. It's kind of burned into my brain...

PS Please don't leave us.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I am SO glad today isn't cake-mageddon! Thank you for hanging in there, because this is one of my favorite fun sites to visit. Where else would we see such sights as those last...p'ass'tries? Love you guys!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I almost had a panic attack just thinking about you not posting Cake Wrecks anymore. Your site is part of my morning routine that would have been greatly missed. I do understand wanting to de-stress your life. I think we may take for granted the amount of effort it requires to keep your blog up and running, and so entertaining. Just know that your efforts are appreciated. It definitely gets my morning started with a smile, a laugh and sometimes a little revulsion. You do such a great job -- thanks for sticking around!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeffanyH

Too funny!!!! I'm sitting in class, snickering to myself. I'm sooooo glad you have decided to keep doing your blog!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

So glad this isn't your last post, but I don't blame you for retiring the blog later if it becomes too much stress and stops being fun, even if I would miss it. On a more serious topic, "holy unfortunate stem placement, batman!" :) One of many reasons visiting this blog is a favorite daily ritual... :)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I am SO glad you decided to stay for us. You both make my day. That last "cake"? Need it for my girls, they will love it.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPatty

Just want to thank you guys for the enjoyment you provide to so many! I can only imagine how hard it is. Many a day has been turned around because of what you do.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

You can't quit now - you are my baking education (heh heh)!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersillygirl

Glad you're sticking around. Even if the last picture almost made me lose my lunch,...

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSMiaVS

So glad you decided not to hang up your blogging shoes.

And my God, could that last one getting any scarier? Yoicks.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMadeleine Robins

Just what every girl wants...a happy hoohoo!! :D

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKirstyB

That confection at the end reminded me of a famous South Carolina landmark: the Gaffney Peachoid. It's the butt of many jokes, though only a humble water tower... scroll down a bit

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Do what you have to do. Your health and sanity are far more important than a few gut chuckles and spit takes over baked goods.
(But thanks for sticking with it thus far! It's been fun to find myself part of this virtual community here and over at EPBOT.) Maybe you could take a few guest post from some of your funniest commenters (not me) to relieve the daily grind of writing?
Merry January 17!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

I'm so glad you aren't ending the blog, too! I've read CW for a looong time. It keeps me sane at work sometimes. I don't comment often either, but I think you do a great job spreading smiles to people. (And don't overthink your jokes! You're far to clever and funny to worry about that!) Thanks for keeping the blog going!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ

i really did LOL at the last peachy mounds!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Hey, over the heart attack from yesterday reading about the " non-event" happening today. So along with everyone else... THANKS for not closing shop. Cakewrecks brought me through some of the toughest days ( no pressure , just appreciation ). You might feel like a drop of water some days, but the ripple effect that drop has is amazing. So.. moving on......

HAHAHAHAH HOO HOO yet again you two made me laugh.

hugs and thanks

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDIana

As much as I LOVE CW, if it's causing you to feel crappy, take some time off. Take care o' you. <3

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVik

Aren't those legs in the "Merry HooHoo" cake the same witch's legs from the cake yesterday? Talk about a great multi-tasker! Use what you must, just get the message across!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaryM

Thankfully today was the first I had heard about the possible/not happening closure of Cake Wrecks because I would have lost it. Seriously.
It's been almost 2 years since my spinal fusion, I was bedridden with pain for about 2 months before the surgery. At the ripe old age of 48, had to use a bedside potty, walker, cane, etc for over 10 months. I was in so much pain that I went from a normal weight, to 5'8" and 108 pounds because I was in too much pain to even eat.
YOU kept me going. Everyday, the first thing I did was read your website. It hurt like hell to laugh but was so worth it!
I am on my back again, costochondritis, feels like you're having a heart attack but because it won't kill you, they leave you to deal with the pain on your own. Did I mention they KNOW it feels like a heart attack!!!
People are rushed to ER's all across our great nation thinking they are dying to be told "the good news", "you aren't dying it just feels like it. Bye y'all, take tylenol." But I digress....
PLEASE DO NOT STOP!! Cake Wrecks is some of the best medicine out there and I've had a LOT of them!!

MANY thanks,
y in Cal

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentery

You had me at Merry HooHoo, when I spit all over my computer screen!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

Please don't leave-I need the laughs :'( As for taht last cake O...M...G D:

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

You two make me laugh out loud every day and I cannot say that about anything else I watch, read, or listen to. Thanks for giving this stay at home mom (who has read every post!) something to look forward to every day. Pleeeease keep up the great work!!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

I had to reread the first part many times before I could compose myself enough to determine that you are NOT leaving. Then on to the "cakes". I held together quite well until the last one. Which made me laugh to the point of tears.

Inappropriate indeed.
And speaking of inappropriate, I love you.

Please don't leave.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I am also very thankful that you did not decide to close up shop. This site has brought my husband and me many, many chuckles, belly laughs and moments of sheer hysteria. I understand the amount of work involved in a project of this sort, but it realy is such a joy to read every day. Please keep up the good work!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Jen, and John, You will never know just how far and wide your humor reaches and how many lives it touches. You both are such an uplifting entity that we don't know what we'd do without you. Thank you just doesn't seem enuff. Thank you for keepin on!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbette

I am so glad you reconsidered ending CW. How else is my computer monitor and keyboard going to get washed on a regular basis? In all seriousness thank you for the many laughs, including that last pic and comment. Just so you know that shouldn't be a wreck to end on.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

If you stopped doing this blog, I'd get over it eventually. If, while strolling through my local chain store bakery, I ran across a giant cookie that was more Bettercreme and plastic than cookie, I would not feel a sudden chill and involuntarily murmur your name. I would not burst into tears at the sight of lumpy fondant. I would miss your jokes, it's true, but the world would not end. It would just be a slightly darker place without you.

Anyway, enough of that! Happy thoughts!

#1. "Merry Hoohoo" was the screen name I used when I did art films with Ron Jeremy.
#2. You think you have a dirty mind? I had to read the caption three times before I realized you weren't talking about the face with the circumcised nose or the ghost with the gravity-defying maracas.
#3. No. I refuse to believe that somebody made cakes in that shape, with the stems placed just so, and the red splotches, and the glaze that looks like mold, and honestly said, "Yep, people are going to look at these things and want to eat one." It has to be a put-on. They're just shaking your tree.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

So glad it's not really ending! Some days, the anticipation of reading a CW post is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Your humor and generosity reaches farther than you'll probably ever know :-) Happy Hoohoo to you two!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternettybobetty

Oh dear, those "peaches" really ARE unfortunate, aren't they? Yowzer. (And here's one more "thank you" for not closing the site, though it's okay and perfectly up to you if you choose to do so in the future. It's your life, after all, and I do understand how the walls can seem to press in sometimes. And thanks for the link to Epbot, I think I'll put it on my RSS, if that's okay. You write funny. :D)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterleorising

So, so glad you're sticking around. Some days CW provides some well-timed and much-needed comic relief. It's good to know I can count on that for a while longer. :)
As for today's post, I think I kept laughing progressively harder as I scrolled down the page. That last one: so gross, yet so funny.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Snickering through this post, stopping to remind myself to breathe (& to not look so suspicious hunkering over my phone). Most hysterical post!!! :D What a great"it's not ending" post!! :)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Rimshot!!! Jen, you and John are the best. Thanks for making me laugh every day!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCBC223

Don't leave me!!!! My day isn't complete without my daily dose of awful edible (or not) goods...truly, Saturdays are hard days without you guys! ;) Thanks for not cutting us off!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterluvmyrussian

Hsppy HooHoo! I would SO miss you if you were gone! And - um - what exactly was the "decorator" going for with that last cake??

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMumsykat

I also never comment, but enjoy your blog every day (and the comments!) I've learnt so much about cakes and life! I think we'll have to start a support group for addicts when you decide to finally quit - but not yet! keep up the incredible work.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterak

Your blog is the first thing I read in the morning. I am a retired hotel pastry chef and enjoy your witty,insightful and funny commentary. Your take on the daily wrecks is always funny and never mean spirited, no easy task I'm sure. I look forward to more of your excellent wreckportage as well as those remarkable Sunday sweets. Keep up the good work!!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

Oh, Jen and John (thoJ), thank you for not closing down Cake Wrecks! What would we wll do without our Recommended Daily Requirement of outlandishness? It would be a duller, more dreary world without random wrecks to enjoy each day (excepting Saturdays, because everyone deserves a day off now and then).

That said, I must say you have, indeed, surpassed your usual high standards with <I>this</I> collection of oh-my-good-Lord-what-were-they-thinking confections. Yeeps!

Does anyone else have a banner ad for "Hiscox" running across the top of the screen?
(If only today's posts were of a differnet bodily region instead of a happy hoohoo, that ad would be hysterical.)
I agree with what TeffanyH said!

Thank you.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

I've told you a lot that I love you, I've even jokingly (?) threatened to move to Florida and stalk you.
Thanks for not closing the site. I would have cried.
I am with so many other posters, this site is where I go every morning. It's like a coffe shop (but better than the one I work at.) where I go to get my dose of "life's not so bad". While here I've met others in the comments, some people are funny, some are sweet, some are... Not so great. But they all make me feel like CW is a real place that brings us all together from various states and countries for one common purpose. It's not often that something that started off so small can become so important to so many. I agree with everyone else, make sure you put yourself first. The world would be a sadder place with no Cake Wrecks, but an even worse one if we drove the two of you to insanity.
Thanks for being here every day, and thanks fellow readers for being the other customers in my coffee shop analogy. You all make this girl's life a little better.
Much love,

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGennyDiggory

Hi, is this the CakeWrecks CoDependency Co-op, or, um, the CCC? I was told there was a daily meeting here every day. I have a prescription and a court order. *trembling hands hold out documents*

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

I only recently discovered this awesome blog, and have plenty of hilarious catching up to do. Thank you for sharing this madness! I knew we were hooked when my daughter & I found ourselves looking for wrecks last time we were at the grocery store :) Cannot wait to show her the "peach surprise"!!!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Oh boy... You almost made me have a heart attack... I'm glad you're not leaving, but i don't want you to like, go crazy and have to live in an asylum(in a room that has drawings of cake on the wall)!
If you feel cruddy JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!!!
I think one person said to have more posts written by other people, y'know, so you can have a break.
You are funny! don't worry about it!
Just be kind to yourself, K?
-14 year old reader

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterXion

THANKS for keeping CW up and running! I enjoy reading daily. I absolutely love Sunday Sweets, though. I wouldn't know what to do without seeing those weekly beauties! I totally understand feeling like you're ready for a new direction, though. Have you considered a co-writer? It would be an option to help take some of the load off, but allow you to keep the site up and running.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterManda

I get the first two but not that last one, sorry.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I'm so glad you're not shutting down the site! (and, speaking of inappropriate, I just accidentally spelled "shutting" with an "i" instead of a "u" - thank goodness I caught it in time.) You make my day, every day, and my 11-year-old daughter has started reading Cake Wrecks on a daily basis as well. She'd be devastated if it ended before she had a chance to submit a cake - she searches high and low every time we go to the store.

Of course, like others have said, you need to take care of yourself first, but just know that you have adoring fans of all ages who love you and appreciate what you do every day to make us smile!

Thanks, from the bottom of my peach :)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

1. All I need is a Merry HooHoo... and this thermos. (And I really don't care all that much about the thermos...)

2. Poor little guy SO wishes he could look down.

3. Two words: "Clarifying mask." Oh, and: "Insoluble fiber." So, four words.

So glad you've found your balance, and I hope you never feel so overwhelmed again. Had you really been leaving, I would have had to bake you a goodbye cake, and it would most likely have been such a disaster you'd have HAD to post it on the blog, and you'd be right back where you'd started anyway... In fact, we'd probably ALL have started deliberately making horrendous cakes in an attempt to lure you back in. The world would have been crushed under a mountain of intentional wrecks, until only the roaches survived. Your decision to stay has probably saved life as we know it. But, hey, no pressure...

(I would sincerely have missed both of you.)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I have still not gotten over the end of Calvin and Hobbes. Please don't leave me. My huge bright spot in every day (except Saturdays). You can skip the books. They are good, but once you have read them, and they read quick, they are done. What you do is blog material all the way. I read both your blogs and love them both.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

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