My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I Got Your Back, PA

An Open Letter to the Internet from the Residents of Southern Pennsylvania


Dear Internet,

What did we ever do to you?

We are a region of good, decent, hard-working Americans and prized rutabaga growers* who always try to do right by our fellow man.

And how do you repay us? By staging protests! By telling the government to shelve us! By blocking our favorite cute cat picture websites with big "STOP SOPA" signs!

It's enough to make us think you don't like the area with the world's most colorful collection of soap shavings.*

Motto*: "It's good clean fun!"


Did you know your underwear was probably made with cotton from OUR* cotton fields?



And did you know that our official* tri-county* flower*, the Dryerious Lintitude*, has been hailed* by the scientific community* as a "marvel of nature?"*

That's right: a MARVEL OF NATURE*. Just try and stop THAT, internet.


Look, we SOPA residents are reasonable people. We don't want to hold a grudge over some obvious misunderstanding - and already you've given us a hip new acronym for next year's tourism brochures!

So what do you say we start fresh? We'll forget this whole "down with SOPA" business, and YOU can come visit the birthplace of Hannah Montana*!

It's a win-win!


*Sorry, Wikipedia was down yesterday.

Thanks to Michael S., Justin D., Anna D., & Karyn D. for helping me drag out a joke for five whole wrecks. Next I'll be writing** a letter on behalf of People In Pennsylvania - stay tuned!

**Just kidding. I'll make John do it.

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Reader Comments (83)

Looks like somebody got the runs after eating that bacon! Stay away!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin' Mad Heather

Hannah is looking a bit *ahem* manly.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherLeah

aaaauuuuuuugggghhhhhh!! these are five of the most HIDEOUS cakes I have EVER seen! I feel so haunted!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWroena

I'm feeling distracted by asterisks*

*asterixes? astriksis? asstricks? I don't think I've ever tried to spell that before.

On another note, reflecting on the thought that we could have had to live without Cake Wrecks, and because John got "You're Beautiful" stuck in everyone's heads on Friday, I have taken the liberty of wrecktifying said song on behalf of my fellow Wrecks fans.

This blog is brilliant

This blog is brilliant
We laugh each day
And underneat that
Don’t go away!
You’ve brought us all together,
Made us laugh until we cried
at cakes topped off with hershey squirts
and quotes from Princess Bride.

You’re delightful, satirical, hysterical it’s true.
You fill a space nothing can replace;
We love you Cake Wrecks crew,
And the carrot jockeys, too!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Cake #2: ant farm
Cake #5: one of the brothers from Nelson

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterauntie meme

Does it make me a freak to think that the first cake is kind of cool, just poorly executed?

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea H.

Good grief! What an ugly selection or better yet "a murder of" cakes! Is that first one a ccc cake? Ptooey!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermocking

I sort of like the colorful soap shavings - in a lava lamp sort of way. It's swirly and colorful and just needs bubbles and glitter!

I take it that People In PA is next? Or just 3.1415926535 of the population of PA?

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

That bacon cake is so gross! :/ And I totally thought the last cake was Lady Gaga until I noticed the HM necklace.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The Hannah Montana cake appears to missing another two sixes.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDoubleclick

Hannah Montana looks more like a young Dog the Bounty Hunter.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberj

Oh, welcome back, kids! I missed you yesterday! And to reward my (im)patience, you've presented me with some completely hideous examples of the baker's art*! How sweet! How sickening! How sickeningly sweet! I am overjoyed.... Thank you for my MDR of wreckiness. The world is now back in balance once again. Whew. I can stop tilting to one side now....

<I>*a purely subjective description; YMMV</I>

Best punchline of the year.*

The "HM" on that last cake (right after the one with the mussel shells on top) clearly stands for "Handsome Man." Just look at that proud chin, that sculpted brow, those prominent cheekbones, that luxurious mane. All that's missing is an Adam's apple.

* By which I mean, best punchline of the past nineteen days. Somehow you just keep topping yourselves.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Good god the ugly, it overwhelms D: the concept for the first cake is nice, but it needed a better worker to do it.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Wow! The "Dryerious Lintitude" looks an awful lot like the "Hairballicus Maximus." I wonder if they're related? I'll have to look that up on-line today. ;)

I learned a lot about SOPA and PIPA yesterday. (I read it on Reddit... and other places.) Until then, I thought SOPA + PIPA = a yummy Mexican dessert. Last night, John Stewart had a great segment on them, as did Rachel Maddow. Hers included pictures of unauthorized content on three of the bills' sponsor's websites, Twitter pages, etc. (I'd add links, but I don't want to get you shut down.) I'll bet you could find them on the Internet...

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Hannah Montana is Egyptian?

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarlee

New meaning to "makin’ bacon”…. and Dryerious Lintitude … a little fuzzy at first, but I got it….

Also, I was in a little bit of a fog yesterday, still reeling from the almost-demise of Cake Wrecks, and I misread the protest signs on this and other sites – I thought we were protesting soap. I see I was wrong, and I apologize to my legislatures for what surely must have been a confusing e-mail. I am sorry…
Whether we live on the COAST or the plains, whether we are IVORY or ebony, we are ALL from this ERA, and we must turn the TIDE of internet censorship! The internet is important, and no matter if we SURF it thru DIAL-up or other means, we must SAFEGUARD that right with ZEST. Give a CHEER for that freedom! We don’t need the government in this BIZ! They’ll just bring us DOWNY. So, write your folks, folks, and don’t let them try to pull the WOOLite over our eyes.

@ zoomom: brilliant – thanks!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Bravo! Awesome wrecks, hilarious *commentary*

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@mel -- It must have been hard for you to send that e-mail -- you've always struck me as less a hawk and more a DOVE. (Love your bubbling wit...)

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Flamenco dancer
twirled until engulfed by dress.
Polka-dot bloomers.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Our bacon is #2." We don't need Wikipedia to verify that one!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Welcome Back! Thanks for participating in raising awareness about the evils of SOPA and PIPA! Today is a wonderful post as always. I love the comment above with all of the soap product names in it. Brilliant! But oooooooooh. That commenter is giving you a run for the money there in the pun department. It would be tough to do better. I certainly couldn't. I'd be all washed up, instead. Viva internet freedom!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWM-The Great Disco Newt

First off, kudos to Jen for working in the word "Rutabega" into a Wrecks post.

Two: I was going to say....Hannah's jawline is looking awfully strong

@Zoomom: Bravo! I applaud your parody skills

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I'd say that 3rd cake is more a marvel of genetic engineering, because I'm pretty sure that circus elephants with radial symmetry do not occur in nature.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

@Sharyn - "sopa pipa" (tobacco pipe soup) sounds like the kind of Mexican dessert that would end up on this blog.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I also want to say thanks for the SOPA/PIPA post yesterday. I sent my letter.

Took me a little while to get today's joke, but it was absolutely brilliant. I really hope the PIPA one post comes tomorrow!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRocco

I must say, being a south Pennsylvanian, that you lack information about what is grown here. Cotton??? Need to be much further South, dahlin'.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

Someone's got her mojo workin' again...

#1 A still from 'Charlotte's Web -- the Sequel' in which Mr. Arable decides to grow a different sort of crop.

#2 Yes, nothing says 'Happy Birthday Popjay' (?) like packing peanuts and twine. Looks like they used the real items, too.

#3 I'm all for bacon being sold in 10 pound packages. But this? I initially went with dried chili peppers. Because that is what one immediately associates with cake (if one is me, anyway). Then I thought that pets really need to be excluded from the bakery.

#4 Audrey III. Or the wreckerator is a fan of the Outer Limits (I see a mashup of references to at least two episodes).

#5 HM totally rocks that Y chromosome. Except for, you know, the pink lipstick and the necklace. Alternative theory: few people know that King Tut was a surfer.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Nicely done, Jen. You made me laugh OUT LOUD, AT WORK, something I try to avoid doing at all costs. Very clever play.

I liked the first cake, could have been pretty had it been executed better, but the rest - not so much. #2 indeed...

Now, as Jon Stewart said, "SOPA"!!!!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

@zoomom and @mel, Brilliant comments both! It truly is a joy to share my day with Jen, John, and all you crazy, clever commenters.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

I was convinced until I read the caption that the HM cake was of He-Man.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJames

What's with the shape on cake # 2? Weird, and that looks more like Poo than bacon on cake # 3....Hannah Montana??? Looks more like a Pharaoh who's got a tobacco plug in his cheek.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmmiehawk

With a little eye makeup and that fifth cake could totally be Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister. (Did I just show my age?)

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

So I said to myself, " that poo on a bacon cake? Oh, no. It's just chocolate covered bacon, which is delicious. It sure does look like poo, though. Poor choice. Should've served it on the side."
Oh, people. Stop.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLara

And after the "People In Pensylvania" post, you should make one about how the word "SOPA" means soup in spanish!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlalu

Mmmm, that first one is so colorful!!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

@auntie meme, any rabid Nelson fan (such as myself) can tell you that #5 is obviously Matthew, since Matthew has bangs and Gunnar doesn't. Here's what they look like now, by the way:

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRabidNelsonFan

That Hannah Montana cake looks like Gentleman Bronco after Chevalier got ahold of him!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Being from southern PA, I was completely confused why rutabegas were mentioned...or why PA was even being dragged into Cakewrecks. But then I read the SOPA line and it made sense.
Southern PA doesn't have much to call its own except Philly, Lancaster, and Gettysburg. And we grow mushrooms. We are pretty wonderful. So, from one of the PIP, thank you for introducing others to our fine state however false the statements were!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I missed you guys yesterday, but I am glad you went dark in opposition of SOPA and PIPA. I suppose that in retaliation, the Feds today shutdown What's next? YouTube? Google? The Mayans may be right after all... :(

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

As someone living in southern PA, I appreciate the support. But if I’m being honest, we totally deserve the hate.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

I live in Southeastern Pa, and would like to offer my sincere apologies for these travesties. We are not SOPA; we are SEPA, which sounds much more gross than it actually is...mostly

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWitchy

I thought it was Yul Brynner from "The Ten Commandments" until I vertical-scrolled to the "HM" cartouche.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterW Sanders

Who else remembers when Hannah Montana acquired super powers BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL? Anyone? Anyone?

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

As someone who grew up in NOPA, I'm pretty sure all your info is correct. Some of those people from Philly and Pittsburgh ARE a little odd! LOL! hilarious post, as usual!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Ok, I'll admit it: it took me a few minutes to figure out what on earth the residents of Southern Pennsylvania had to do with SOPA. Once the realization dawned, you could probably hear me laughing a mile down the road. Awesome post, especially since I lived in Southern PA (York to be specific) for several years.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

As a resident of Southern Pennsylvania, I approve this message.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJess

@ SueBee
HM never sounded better.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Nice Fabio cake. Wait... it's not Fabio?

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStarbuck

Here in New Brunswick, there is the Olivier Soapery Ecomuseum. I always see the signs for it driving to and from my in laws house, and the first cake reminded me of it, because the advertisement for their daily shows is "it's good clean fun".

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMel

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