My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

In honor of Canadian Thanksgiving, I will now explain the slight and subtle differences between Canadian turkeys and American ones.

[pushing up glasses]
[consulting clipboard]


First and foremost, Canadian turkeys carry all their tail feathers on their heads.


This is both to aid in attracting a mate, and to keep their little hineys cool.

  "Hey, bebeh, whyn't choo come on over heah, and I'll play us some Canadian Barry White. By which I mean William Shatner singing 'Rocket Man.' UNG. Yeeeeah."


Canadian turkeys also prefer styling their head tail feathers in a Mohawk, just to show their overbearing turkey mothers that they're independent birds who don't take orders from anyone.

Plus it makes them look like that eyeball monster that popped up in the trash compactor during Star Wars. Which is awesome.


Canada is the only country in the world where one can find the extremely rare "Cthulurkey".

 It is very dark and terrible. But at least it tends to sleep a lot.


While American turkeys' natural predators are mankind and wild boars*, Canadian turkeys remain savaged by the brown-bottomed field mouse:

Don't laugh**. It's a real problem, people***.

*What, of all the "facts" in this post, did you really think THIS one would be correct?

** Laugh

***No, it's not.


And finally, and perhaps most impressively, Canadian turkeys are surprisingly good at Yoga:

Aaaand breeeeeathe.


Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, everyone! And may you also have a reasonably tolerable Columbus Day.

Thanks to Erin J., Michelle G., Amy W., Ali S., Laura R., & Emily B., who reeeeally want to see that Shatner video again. Well, ok, guys, if you insist:


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Reader Comments (44)

Why does the turkey surrounded by mice have paws?

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteramber

I think those brown-bottomed field mice are among the cutest things ever seen on this-here blog, and that’s sayin’ something!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

Sung to “Rocket Man”

His feathers kept upright for flight
Right up there upon his head
He’s hoping they’ll help him find a wife again
His hiney’s cool, his Mohawk causes strife
But it really frames his face
It’s such an awesome sight.

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
‘Til I get Cthulturkey off my mind
The mice attack birds in a ring, alone
Oh no no no, he’s Canadian
Canadian turkey doing his yoga at home

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! (You can be thankful I ony did 2 verses...)

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The last one reminded me of this very imporant "How to..." video.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

#4 is, of course, the Happy Turkey pose. Otherwise known as the Airing the Giblets Asana.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Mousie

fine examples of one of my favorite things...Canadian bakin'....

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Awesome, I don't have to buy a turkey this year, I can just use that last cake.

Geez, those Canadians think their thanksgiving is so special they have to have an array of deformed turkeys...

Jessica recently posted, Inanimate Objects Sometimes Attack Me.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

@mel -- I see what you did there... Awful pun. Wish I'd thought of it... ;)

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Awwww,the 'yoga' turkey just wants a big hug!! And has corset strings for some reason......8/

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Anyone else think that those mice are cute??? Chocolate covered cherries and Hershey kisses, why has pintrerest not brought us these sooner!?

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStefane

When, oh when will wreckerators learn that turkeys come in colors besides brown, and a white turkey, by definition, looks a lot less like a pile of turds? Even Cthulhuturkey looks more like "Cthulhuturd". SO NOT FITTING FOR A GREAT OLD ONE!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Thank you for the Thanksgiving wishes! In appreciation, I share with you this awesome cake a friend made.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

"Why does the turkey surrounded by mice have paws?
October 8, 2012 | amber"

Perhaps it was made by Londo From B5.

On a more serious note, why it is so hard for people to make a cake decorated to look like a turkey?

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

5:16 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Thanks a lot!
@Sharyn ~ Thank you from the very bottom of my heart! :)
@mel ~ bahahaha
The Canadian Turkey cakes? Now I'm even more afraid what next month will bring!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Um yes, those mice belong on pinterest,. totes adorbs!

And holy crapoly, Shatner is one friggin weirdo.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Thanks for sharing this little-known information about the unique bird we celebrate the harvest with here in the great white north. Another FACT* you may find interesting is that we stuff our birds with poutine rather than bread.
*FACT = Fictional Article Concerning Turkey

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I too love those little mice! Especially the one on the left with his head cocked. Might be wondering why they are doing obeisance to a turkey. That's what it looked like to me, a bunch of devotee mice worshiping the turkey!
Who does indeed have paws, as noted by Amber!
It seems the dish was for eggs, and they needed to fill the holes with something. But, mice?
(I was a bit disappointed to see they are candy, I was hoping someone went to the trouble of makiing little cake mice!) If you want adorable, and expensive chocolate mice, have you seen Burdick's? My son lives in MA, and sent us some once. Once was all he could afford!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

OMG, these turkeys make me wanna go vegan-almost ;) Sharyn lol@song. Mel, that is such punny goodness for a monday :)

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Happy Thanksgiving!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

Happy Thanksgiving! If you can't decorate a cake, stick to pumpkin pie.... and don't frost or fondant that either.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi (a Canadian)

Instead of "Happy Canadian Thankgiving" How about Happy Thanksgiving, Canadians!

Thanks for acknowledging the holdiday anyhow :)

Are those cake even Canadian? lol

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrendaLou

Watched Shatner doing Rocket Man. You know, I think if you are worried about being attacked by aliens, you should blast videos like that into space instead of messages of peace or strength. I'm pretty sure aliens would want to avoid The Crazy like it's catching.

@mel: teehee!

I concur, the mice are adorbs. I didn't see them right away because I was trying to figure out the spike-feathered, be-pawed turkey wearing an apron made from just the tips of candy corn. What is going on there?

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I always thought that the Canadians who come down here for this weekend were here for the sales. Guess it's to find American Turkey's instead.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterev

Oh, and one other thing: The voices wanted me to ask why the MouseGodTurkey(tm) has three different colors of carrots sticking out of it's butt...

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

A: If I was a brown-bottomed mouse I would happily worship my Candy Corn breasted Turkey God.

B: CAKE? for THANKSGIVING!!!? I assure you that my guests yesterday were far to stuffed with dinner to have been able to face cake with any sense of equanimity.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

Yoga?'s not yoga. It's what female turkeys in Canada are advised to do at least once a year to "make sure everything is ok up there". It requires a metal table and an instrument of torture commonly referred to as a speculum. "Just relax now, Mrs. T. Now then, nurse...if you will please bring me my tools from the refrigerator..." Yeah. Haven't we all been there...

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChenaya

@zoomom~ I googled that. Sounds yummy, looks disgusting! And in a turkey? ***shudder*** Thanks for the FACT*
@ev~ I live minutes from the Canadian border and used to work retail. I'm pretty sure it's just for the sales :-/

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Happy Columbus day...from this Canuck! We are having a great Thanksgiving, and your post today makes me extra thankful that none of these wrecks were a part of our dinner!

As for the Shatner song...thanks for the oh so "sad but funny" reminder. yep, we're proud to call him one of us!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

The plumage on #2 reminded me a bit of a Mardi Gras Indian, only not as pretty.

Oh, and @BADKarma - I was wondering about the carrots too. Maybe we're hearing the same voices...

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

I'm pretty sure the Cthulurkey is paragliding. I know that's the face I would be making if a yellow, orange and red canopy were the only thing keeping me from crashing into the ground at high speed.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Love those little mice - adorable!

Turkeys...not so much.

But the Shatner video is going to give me nightmares...for a very very very long time.

Also reminds me of an old Peter Sellers routine. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Shatner's inspiration.

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

I lol'ed all over myself for this, thank you. Love the mice! Happy Thanksgiving, Canada! And a thought on Columbus Day, from Pinterest "Let's celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now."

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

@mel freakin' awesome
@BADkarma I hadn't noticed and now I cannot unsee carrots. My favorite
Canadian carrot was named Anne.
@Sharyn bless you for only doing two verses

You do all know that killing turkeys causes winter, right?

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I can't believe you made a Lovecraft reference! But honestly, I think it is more of a TURDKEY!

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHarry

I need to be more careful about having food and beverages handy when I read this blog.

For example: @Degera and her suggestion for celebrating Columbus Day, I had a mouthful of hot chocolate and cake vodka, and I nearly snorted it all over my laptop. But thanks to my reverence for cake vodka, I managed to keep it in my mouth.

William Shatner signing frightens me almost as much as these cakes do!

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Is grateful I didn't watch the Shatner vid lol. I think that it would make me crazier than I already am and judging by those turkey cakes.. the crazy has been here already. Sheesh. Makes me almost turn away from eating turkey at all except thankfully most turkeys do not resemble turds.

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene


October 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterfluffy-girl

Why on EARTH have I not seen this Shatner video earlier?? That is freakin' EPIC! I love it, that guy is so bat sh!z crazy! Cthulurkey - my new favorite made up word. Thank you, Jen!

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

That first one made me think that there must be a Las Vegas for turkeys, and in Turkey Vegas there is a stage that is missing its showgirl. (showbird?)

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony-mouse

Oh, my word! I am wiping tears out of my eyes. I needed a good laugh - and wow - do you deliver! Thank you. I'm all better now!

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWaffle-Wednesday

Those mice are confused because they don't understand why their leader is made out of pâté . Also I think Yoga Turkey is really "Jazz Legs" Turkey.

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

Laughed so hard at "Cthulurkey."

You owe me a new pair of pants.

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterveg-o-matic

Oh my god, the comments have me near tears from laughing so hard. xD

Also, turkey #2 looks like a dino on fiyah! Haha!

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Canadians don't celebrate Columbus Day. You shouldn't either.

October 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

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