My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Rah Rah Wreckage

You guys, I figured it out: these cupcakes hold a secret code.

See if you can crack it before the migraine sets in:

 HINT: It's starts with the word "gone."


And here's a lesson on the importance of proper punctuation placement:

"GO!! Giants. Just... just go."


[adjusting belt and swaggering over drunkenly] "SO, football field cake. Are you gonna FIGHT? Or are you just too YELLA?"

Well, alrighty then.


Uh-oh. Look out, other foods! The wreckage is coming for you!


Although this does bring a whole new meaning to "paper or plastic."

As in, "What am I eating? Paper or plastic?"


An ode to the power of positive thinking:

Suuuure you will. Although, considering that you're a cookie cake with crappy handwriting, I think it'd be more *accurate* to say you'll be in the:


I'm telling you, guys, the annual misspelling of "Super Bowl" to "Super Bowel" never gets old. Trust me.

"Go, Super Bowel! Go, Go, GO!"



Thanks to Emily H., Timothy G., Andrea U., Laura H., Pon T., Val H., & Erin E. for those moving words of encouragement.

« Chasing Shadows, Part Deja Vu | Main | Head Scratchers »

Reader Comments (76)

Pizza Prints are REAL??

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Oh jeez... facepalm facepalm headdesk.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSylph

So glad I figured out with the first picture said before I read your "hint". I might have been here for days otherwise.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

I think it says "Go New England Patriots #1"

I teach 1st grade- I'm used to these kinds of mis-spacings.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnony-mouse

You will need a "super bowel" to digest the pizza prints...

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Um...the first picture starts with "gone"? I thought it said "Go New England Patriots #1".
But does that mean the team should use the potty before the game?

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjj

No. Just no! There should NEVER be a product called 'Pizza Prints'. Wreckorators, you can trash all the CCC's and cookie cakes you want, but leave the pizza alone!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

In the second cake the brown thing with the tails looks like it is being held back by a yellow IUD - am I right?

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersillygirl

I can see the football theme -- I use the term loosely -- in most of the cakes, but the first tray of cupcakes was for New Year's. It's the second verse of "Auld Lang Syne." Go ahead, sing along!

"Gone weng no patr (pronounced pa-ter) iots number one ..."

See, the first verse is about time past and old friendships. The second is about your father (that's the "patr." ) The third verse -- I'm assuming there's another tray of cupcakes somewhere -- is similar, but with "Matr" -- for mother, of course. It gets pretty tedious when they start in on the aunts, uncles, second cousins once removed, etc., which is why most people stop after the first verse.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The "bowel" Nuff said!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffyHeifer

Lack of thought process
Lettered cupcakes - epic fail
I want the # sign

yeah I think we can all tell it says "Go New England Patriots #1" but WHY put them on cupcakes instead of a regular cake? That's only 12 cupcakes, not NEARLY enough to feed your typical hungry SuperBowl crowd. And the GO! one, oh man, please don't try to draw movement lines behind a football, it just came out looking like a brown tampon (sorry!). And Jen I totally agree - Super Bowel NEVER gets old! *ROFL*

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

The best way to get to the Super Bowel is to load up on some pregame chili and nachos.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin' Mad Heather

I seriously could not figure out that cupcake nightmare. Thank goodness someone put it in the comments. It was giving me a headache (and a complex!) LOL!

And Pizza Prints? really??? don't we have other things to invent??

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Many, many years ago, when I was a child and men were manly and dinosaurs roamed the planet, football was played outdoors, often in a raging blizzard. The yellow cake shows a field so covered in snow, that everything football-like has been obliterated. I know the "snow" appears to be the wrong color, but it was the sixties and the air was extremely polluted. We were happy when the snow wasn't brown or black. Yellow was good enough for us! It was a simpler time.

"Edible" Pizza Prints? No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

OK, I just had to google it, the pizza print thing is an actual product.

I am off to weep in the corner now.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer V

my brain must be wired like the first wreckorator because it was wasy to read without the hint.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTina

You're gonna lose!!!!!

Oh, wait...wrong game.

I think the secret message is really those SO. PA people trying to get pay back. "Gone? We (are) not going [NG], (from the) land (of) PA! Try o(a)ts! (They are) number 1!" Or, you know, it could say Go New England Patriots like someone already pointed out. I like the conspiracy theory better...

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Okay, I actually got sucked in by the gone clue. I thought it was "Gone (as in the whole "He gone" thing from White Sox baseball)- NG (for New York Giants), LA, NO (For Louisiana, New Orleans- for the Saints), Patriots #1!"

My first thought was, "Well, that's a bit presumptuous, since they don't play until Sunday. Getting a bit cocky, aren't we?" Then I thought further and realized that the Patriots didn't play the Saints in the playoffs. Huh?

Then I got a migraine.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

zomg...Super Bowel...too funny.

And I agree with others on the pizza prints. Pizza is sacred. Pizza is wise. Do not mess with the pizza.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

You had me going on the "gone" thing. Kind of like the time my dad came home and said he got a personalized license plate and the rest of the family spent an hour trying to decipher it before he fessed up that it was just another randomly generated one from the DMV.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaryl

It DOES say "Go New England Patriots #1" (Ugh, I can't believe I just typed that)....I think Jen is messin' with our collective heads now......either that or she really isn't the football fan she says she isn't. Uh, yeah.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

I got Patriots #1 but couldn't turn Gone into Go New England without guideance. And trust me, I spent waaaaaay too long trying.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I think that the cheese on many pizzas is already mostly plastic, so what's the diff?

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternepetacataria

I dunno... If you tilt your head to the left it reads epcotinthemaking. :)

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeahR

Optimism lies.
Will never punt a football.
Won't even grow feet.

I am repeatedly, thoroughly amazed every semester by some of the incredibly blind optimism my nontraditional college students demonstrate. They write me papers about how they want to be the first nonWASP astronaut, about how when they finally rise to a secretary's job, they will drive a red Mustang to work and have champagne with lunch, and about how they can do absolutely anything they set their minds to.

I usually question this last one gently, saying things like, "So if I work hard enough, I can become a giraffe or a lion? Can I really do anything if I try hard enough?" I have been told, in total seriousness, that I can. Because I can be whatever I want when I grow up, even a giraffe. The truly horrible heartbreak is when they cite from Phillippians "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength" as their evidence. I counter with, if Christ had really wanted you to be a giraffe, he would have made you one from the beginning. He's just that good.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Go! Giants" = "Run for your lives; giants are coming!"

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I actually call it the "Stupor Bowl" because it puts me into a stupor. My husband loves it though.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Add me to the list who could figure out what "Gone weng land pa+r iots #1" meant until I read the comments *facepalm*

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Yay, cupcake Boggle - we haven't played that in ages!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

And in the Super Bowel are millions and millions of tiny, flagellated bacteria that look just like footballs!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

I think I cracked the code. The middle row of cupcakes is there just to trick those who don't know the code. It says: Gone weeing. Lot's (of) #1. So I think he drank too much beer and needs some alone time.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

Isabella could be on to something with her post. I also saw a hidden message in the code cupcakes, but mine made less sense (I assumed wreckorators were poor code writers.) Karlyn's post made me remember the time I almost drove off the road when I spotted a license plate with 492LBS.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterstaying anon.

I thought it said something about a gland. Like "Gone w(h)en gland patriots #1." It doesn't make any sense, but I feel that way about football too.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I'll be watching the Puppy Bowl..

Besides the puppies are much cuter than any players and have better manners.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpeg

Incredibly blind optimism is not limited to "nontraditional" (by which I assume you mean homeschooled) students. When I taught high school I was not only amazed by the belief of some students that they could be anything they wanted to be, but by the teachers and administrators who were of the same opinion. When I pointed out that a kid who could barely read even after trying very hard was not likely to become an astronaut and should be gently informed of that fact, my colleagues accused me of cruelty in blighting a child's dreams. Kids are taught too much "You can do anything if you want to and try really hard." And i would be really worried about the mental health of a kid who thought he could pray himself into being a giraffe.

Sorry to be OT, but I had to say it!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

I'm adding Pizza Prints to the list of things I never want to eat. Because I totally keep such a list. :)

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

HINT: It's starts with the word "gone."

And here's a lesson on the importance of proper punctuation placement:

You see the irony here?

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

A field covered in yellow snow has less to do with pollution and more to do with terms like 'Go' and '#1'.

Good points, @Haiku Joy.

Disturbing thought for the day: If there are 'Pizza Prints', can 'Cake Prints' be far behind? "Why pay someone to wreck your cake when you can do it yourself!" Food-grade printers ('edible' paper sold separately) at the local office supply store has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Come on.... Pizza Prints are GENIUS!!!! A lot of idiots are going to love this. Ick

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I was so ridiculously proud of myself when I figured out what the cupcakes said!!! At first I thought it was "Gone weng lano patriots." I swear.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

The first one is waaaay funnier if you read it Asian style (top to bottom, right to left). It also even sounds kind of Asian if you pronounce each column out loud. Plus which, it makes almost as much sense as "Akira". Almost.

As for the second wreck... As clearly evidenced by the object on the left side of the cakie, the Giants already "went"...

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

cake #2 - why does it have a stick bug on it.?
Another code?

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermocking

Cupcake Boggle. *snort* Good one!

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlabgoddeess

Dear Dorothy,

Sorry for confusion! By nontraditional, I mean 25 and older. Most of my students are in the 30-50 range and are working while going to school. This is the same way my parents advanced their formal education, and I have nothing but respect for anyone with the sincere willingness to juggle family, job, and a full course load. I do sometimes have a gung-ho high school getting dual credit, or an inspiring 75+ who is fulfililng a life-long dream of a college degree.

But today, it's a woman in her 40s who handed in my example essay back to me for her assignment, but with her name on it. Her defense? She had typed it up from the handout; therefore, she had written it.

I need to work "cruel blight" into conversation more.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Pizza prints. I need words but I can't find them.

Wait, I know.

Leave my pizza ALONE!

That's better/

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I truly thought that cake #4 (the one right after the decrescration of the pizza) had rolly poly around the edge when I first looked at it. Rolly polys made of poo!

I am in total agreement that should never be done to a pizza. I will not be watching the Super Bowel either. The Puppy Bowl will be much cuter.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvie_M

Oh, bah. I thought it was a cryptic rendering of the first line of the Hymne to St Winge, in Latin - te nom nom nom patria # 10 or something like that. The rest are gentle reminders that we all should go make offerings to the compost bin.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

Pizza prints??? What. The. Crap. Crap that comes out of the Super Bowel, I suppose.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Thanks to those who actually cracked the code. I just gave up and figured it was some new version of "do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do".

By the way, apparently some are concerned about trademark infringement with using the words "Super Bowl", as I heard on the radio this morning you aren't supposed to call your festivities a "Super Bowl party". (They were talking about churches that host viewing parties for their congregations and communities.) Guess that's why the grocery store commercial kept referring to it as the "big game". Maybe that's the real reason behind the "super bowel" wrecks--they're protecting their bakeries from copyright infringement lawsuits. Yeah, that's it!

And you know, there are other ways to be "in" the super bowl--like ball boy, towel boy, guardian of the Gatorade...maybe that's what that person with the cookie cake is aspiring to.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

"gone weng" just seemed like some Chinese guy left, "lanopa + riots" had me stumped for quite a bit because I d never head of some place called "Lanopa" before... thanks to the comments, I got it, but then I had another puzzler presented to me... 'the first nonWASP astronaut"? So these students of yours, Haiku Joy, are planning to invent a time machine as well? There's plenty of Japanese astronauts wandering around already, so unless Japanese count as WASPs, I think you'd better correct them on that delusion as well.

February 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbob

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