My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Truly Outrageous

Last week Katie S. e-mailed me a truly outrageous story of glamor and glitter, fashion and fame.

It was about her sixth birthday party.

"I don't remember much from the party, other than it was 1987 and my first "kid party," with all the kids from the neighborhood invited to play games like drop the clothespin, pin the tail on the donkey, etc. - but I do remember walking into the kitchen as my mom and aunt surveyed the birthday cake they'd just picked up from the local bakery."

At this point Katie tells me she heard words from her mother and aunt that her little 6-year-old brain couldn't quite comprehend.

Which is perfectly understandable, once you realize that Katie's mom asked for the 80s cartoon pop star JEM:

"Jem is my name, no one else is the same...JEM!!"


And got Beavis being attacked by a small purple Yeti:



To give this an audial analogy, that's kind of like expecting this:


And getting this:

(I dare you to watch the whole thing without crying.)


Oh, and did you notice that I managed to find the exact napkin design from Katie's party? Did you? I AM GOOD, y'all.

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Reader Comments (149)

That video was the weirdest thing I've seen today, and I have 4 kids. Is he deaf? Anyway, I was a big Jem fan, and had the doll and all. Luckily My Mom never tried to have a cake made for me. HA!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

WOW Jen - that's "Truly Outrageous, Truly Outrageous".

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

Oh my.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCristi

AHHHHHH! JEM! Now I'm trying to remember if my sister ever got a Jem cake. I know she dressed as her for Halloween one year, in those horrifying plastic masks and outfits. I was Lion-o. We're both girls :-)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

I don't get it. Not your post, the guy. It's like Bubba's not quite so bright brother found a piece of candy in his pocket and they sent him out on stage to celebrate.

I hope they wiped the lint off of it for him. Poor guy.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle C.

My head literally hit my desk, and I can't breathe.
You're getting dangerous.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I have to agree with Michelle. I googled the guy and I still don't get it. Actually, Michelle's explanation makes a lot of sense. I'll certainly sleep better tonight believing the candy story.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

Wow. I think my ears are bleeding.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIMQTPI

Ah, Jem. I remember the doll with the earrings that would light up and the singing contest where you had to call up a number and sign after the beep to try and get a chance at a voice over on the actual cartoon. ..

Personally? I think the cake looks more like Stretch Armstrong in drag.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

I think Misfits got to it. Their songs ARE better. They are the Misfits.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth B

The scary thing is that the Trololo clip with the real audio is, while more melodic, just as annoying.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Even knowing Russian, I was baffled by the trololo guy. Here's his wikipedia page:

Apparently, the song has lyrics, but he didn't use them as part of an argument with his lyricist...can't say that was the wisest decision, really. But I'm so glad to hear that it wasn't some sort of odd Soviet genre.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Yeti engulfs, um,
embraces his inner pop,
oops, just pop icon.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Holy mother of Cats, who is that guy? Why are people applauding? Is this some sort of surreal comedy routine? And will I ever be able to forget him? Even with the sound turned off, he's really scary.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMadeleine Robins

it's actually The Bloggess wearing Wolf Blitzer

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterauntie meme

You know Mr. Sloth from those ads for Costa Rica's Million Dollar Gift Of Happiness? I think that was a 'lost' audition tape from much earlier in his career.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara K-B

What *is* that? That video isn't for real, is it?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Living Ken doll yearns
to pledge devotion. But - oh! -
plastic vocal chords!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Why is Jem wearing a Century 21 blazer (with shoulder pads, no less) in her music video? I so don't remember that part.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngelica R. Jackson

Monica, I had the same Jem costume...those masks were nightmare fuel. Poor Jem, she deserves better. Michelle C, your comment had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe...

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

I did notice that purple radio behind the cake. I had one of those and loved it dearly.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersheesh

Oh come now. The REAL "Trololo" video is awesome! It's weird but there's something endearing about it. Eduard Khil is actually a great singer. If you find the link to the original and not one of those stupid remixes, it's not bad at all.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

Jen!!! You can't do this to us. That clip of the guy... uhm... doing whatever he's doing... well, it freaked out both of my dogs. Be gentle on the little pups. They just want to sleep on the couch in peace and quiet.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie R

Oh my god, me and my sister sooooooo fan of this show. Good momeries.

thanks Jen

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNadia

Jen, I like all your posts, but the missed marks never fail to crack me UP! Thanks for the hilarious start to my day :)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

What's with the singed roses and icing border? Did the baker think the cake was about "singeing" not "singing"? It would explain a lot.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConfused in Canada

Really couldn't tolerate either one. :)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Haha! I've heard Eduard Khil's song dozens of times - it's a hysterical pick-me-up on a bleak day - but I decided to click on it one more time. I've never heard THIS version before! But, yeah, if you've never heard the REAL version, it's definitely worth a listen - and then worth reading the story behind the song.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHarold

I can just hear Dr. McCoy saying "She's dead Jem." (Geting attacked by a purple yeti will do that...)

As for the Trololo clip. Uh, why? What purpose in the Universe could it possibly serve? And wouldn't it be fantastic performed by Bill Hader on SNL? He'd be perfect for all the creepy expressions, eyebrow raising and self-congratulatory smirking (although he'd crack up at some point.)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

If all I heard was the audio on the Trololo guy, I would have sworn it was Mr. Bean.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

Katie and Sheesh, I also had that purple radio/tape player (partially seen behind the cake)!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarisa


February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I agree with Suzanne Dargie, google Eduard Khil. The real video is like a workshop in vocal techniques. I think that makes the video posted fitting as a missed mark wreck!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

Why Jen, why? Why do you hate me so? Not only did I sit through the whole clip, I then went and searched to find the original clip (which wasn't much better to tell the truth) and nearly sat through that too, until I dragged myself out of a horrified stupor and stopped it. At least it took my mind off that cake...

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Having looked up the original vid of this guy singing, it's actually not so bad.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Even my puppy cried, I'm just not sure if it was that video, or the mangling of Jem that devastated her.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmnesiacAKG

Obviously. the Russian guy is their equivalent of Andy Kaufman

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWroena

I never thought I would have to watch Trololo to get something out of my head, but wow that remix is truly vile.

And I'm with Auntie Meme. Totally a prophetic wreckerator telling the world of the coming of Wolf Blitzer.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhillip Wilde

I was Jem for halloween last year! Sad thing was, only about 2 people at the whole party recognized me or had any idea who Jem was at all (and not all of them were younger than me!!) I was very sad and it made me feel old!

And the 2 people that did recognize me were both guys...because their kids had been watching Jem on Boomerang!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Sorry - I didn't make it a full minute in the second one before I couldn't take it anymore. And I'm a Dylan fan.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterblue42

Jen - I LOVE IT! The Jem vs Beavis/Yeti analogy is perfect! I laughed when I saw that after spending my morning running all over a hospital trying to assist 5 doctors simultaneously!


February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlly

Thanks for the Trololo clip -- I think it's from the hugely successful cd "Complete Gutteral Groanings and Yelps."

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

What the heck was that video. I know I am old, but I have never heard anything that scary. He creeped me out. I guess I will have to google this guy and find out what he is about. Cause without knowing about him, I would guess he might be casting spells or calling for rebellion or talking to aliens!!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

I did watch the whole thing, and I did cry... tears of laughter! It's not often that I find myself really wondering WTH? But that did it!

Okay, I have been busy lately and may not have read every single comment, so correct me if I just missed it, but I don't think I've seen a comment from mel for several days now. I miss you mel! RUOK?
("Ruok? What's Ruok?"
"Don't make me waste letters. R. U. O. K.")

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

You dared me, I took the dare, and.......I lost. Damn, now I have to go through the rest of the workday with smeared eye makeup.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

JEM - Awesome cartoon
Baker killed my memories
Katie - therapy?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

The Trololo vid almost made me pee my pants. You know us too well.

Thanks Jen- who IS truly outrageous!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Aw poor katie. BTW the trololol guy is actually pretty good in real life.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrad hannah

Yep, I was laughing so hard my eyes got moist. I also spit on my husband's computer. I'm sure he'll appreciate that. :)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRU

OMG I was such a Jem fan growing up... thanks for the memories... but whomever made this cake needed to be shot..I'm jus sayin'. LOL

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo' You!!!

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