My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Truly Outrageous

Last week Katie S. e-mailed me a truly outrageous story of glamor and glitter, fashion and fame.

It was about her sixth birthday party.

"I don't remember much from the party, other than it was 1987 and my first "kid party," with all the kids from the neighborhood invited to play games like drop the clothespin, pin the tail on the donkey, etc. - but I do remember walking into the kitchen as my mom and aunt surveyed the birthday cake they'd just picked up from the local bakery."

At this point Katie tells me she heard words from her mother and aunt that her little 6-year-old brain couldn't quite comprehend.

Which is perfectly understandable, once you realize that Katie's mom asked for the 80s cartoon pop star JEM:

"Jem is my name, no one else is the same...JEM!!"


And got Beavis being attacked by a small purple Yeti:



To give this an audial analogy, that's kind of like expecting this:


And getting this:

(I dare you to watch the whole thing without crying.)


Oh, and did you notice that I managed to find the exact napkin design from Katie's party? Did you? I AM GOOD, y'all.

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Reader Comments (149)

Jem in the video looks like an animated version of Stephanie from "Newhart." Ah, the '80s....

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I would have been a toddler when Jem was popular, so I guess that's why I don't remember it. The cake is perfectly awful on its own merits, though. Jem looks like she just caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and is about. To. Wig. OUT!

Re: the real Eduard Khil: "Non-lexical vocable" is my new favorite phrase.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Oh Yeah, and the Trololo guy?? Seriously, why are they clapping, I couldn't even watch the whole thing, it was JUST.THAT.BAD!!!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo' You!!!

Oh, there you are mel! Ignore previous post.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

It would seem Russian humor is an acquired taste. Hower I still prefer Yacov Smirnoff!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

First thing that popped into my head when I saw that guy "singing" was What The Frosting is that!! Thank you Michelle C. for providing the only explanation that makes any sense...and one that had me laughing out loud in my quiet office.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

"I don't get it. Not your post, the guy. It's like Bubba's not quite so bright brother found a piece of candy in his pocket and they sent him out on stage to celebrate.

I hope they wiped the lint off of it for him. Poor guy."

THIS. OMG Still laughing!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJabberowocky

I was never quite sure what Jem dolls were as a child. I remember being fairly certain they were some kind of disturbing Barbie wannabe that only weirdos would play with. I never saw the show.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Hey, that guy sounds like my husband after his Christmas party! lol !

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I'm still wondering why on earth I remember Jem, since at the time of the show I was married with two small boys, but that cake is still scary.

As to scary -- that clip you pulled is going to give me nightmares of Dr Crane from Batman coming at me with those teeth and the weird noises. (Did no one else notice the resemblance in the wide eyes and over grin?)

Now I must wait for Sunday Sweets to get it all out of my head!!! Whhhaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

What is TRULY outrageous here is that people are actually applauding what looks frighteningly like a smirking Howdy Doody come to life and sounds like a self-satisfied yeti having abdominal distress. Why? Are they being paid? Or do they just feel pity?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

. . . o.O . . . Sweet mother of monkey poop and bananas! What WAS that? And why did I sit through it? And then the original clip? My face was frozen somewhere between laughing and horror. It's an odd feeling to have to massage your face after that expression.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFaewren

I had Jem's earrings. In several colors. I was that cool.

Yes, Jen, you are a very skilled searcher of the web! lol. :)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteraejrecbe

I was 6 in 1987 also, and can remember how cool she was! I think I had one of her microphones. As far as the cake, it looks like a very homely Ken decided he couldn't hold back his inner feeling to be a drag queen! This is scary...

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJust Jenn

That is terribly, horribly outrageous. And funny because I wore my JEM t-shirt to work today (yay casual Friday!).

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz H

I think the cake looks kind of like Jay Leno
dressed up as Jen for Halloween

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

Like a Frankenstein Ken Doll.... I is scurred.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermegrat7

Oh man! My husband loves the Trololo Guy...he purposely sings it. Apparently, the guy is super-popular in Russia. JEM - I sure did love me some JEM!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRach

Nooooooooo!!! Not Jem!
*Must forget Jem Cake Wreck
*curls up in a ball over in the corner humming

Shangri la, Shangri la
Let the music make you whole


February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThatDeborahGirl

OMG ... I had not thought of Jem in years. What a hoot! And I love your description of the cake design that she ended up with ... priceless.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuze

I was all "oh, you DARE me, do you? Challenge accepted!" I made it about 45 seconds. Now my sleeves are all soggy from wiping my eyes and my nose is running.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne D

Wow! That was totally messed up. I would have cried.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbabycakes

Here's the link to the real video. Still a bit odd, but not quite as...disturbingly so.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDine

I'm super jealous of Jem's hair...even in icing. Outrageous bitch. Truly, truly, truly outrageous bitch with the cool hair!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. One Day

Ahhhhh, retro wreaks, gotta love them! Ooooor not.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelleyD

Okay, Jen, cruel and unusual as this was, the worst is that I COULD NOT TURN IT OFF!

That's right, no matter how frantically I clicked, he just...WOULD NOT...STOP!!!! *shudders theatrically*


Scarred for life in Canada

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Is that guy Vladimir Putin?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLove me some cake!

That video sounds like he's auditioning for the part of Animal in The Muppets Sing Opera. My 14-month-old was mesmerized.

Also, JEM!!!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlenxa

Am I the only one who hears Mr. Bean singing "Alleluia" in "All Creatures of Our God and King" sketch?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiss

You guys talked me into it, I went and looked at the original. And I laugh/cried all over again! The guy looks like a ventriloquist's dummy come to life. It's Pinnoccheduard!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I think the guy had his hair autotuned.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLib laughed so hard, tears ran down my legs.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteralli

That's supposed to be Jem? Looks more like a character out of the show South Park to me! Frightening!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer G

The Misfits must have gotten a hold of that cake, lol! I could only make it through half of the video. He sounded like I'd imagine that small purple Yeti would.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmyR

Oh my God, I can't believe you just trolled your loyal watchers with the Trololo video. I got more than half way through it before I realized somebody had taken out the audio and added a whole bunch of random nonsense. lol!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

When I was a kid I was so in love with JEM that I entered a contest where you had to sing the theme song. Long story short, I now only sing in my car.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

Hahaha, I think I was about 6 or 7 when Jem came out. I thought she was soooo cool! She still is in a "retro '80s" kind of way. Of course, looking at it now, it influenced a lot of my design choices over the years.

If I remember correctly, she was a normal hard working girl who had earrings that would turn her and her friends into eccentric, fashion-forward pop-stars, and they had to keep it all a secret from the sexy boyfriend with the purple hair. I have a vague reccollection of her being some kind of secret agent, too, or something? I'm sure if we all watched it today our collective childhood memories would be traumatized.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Had the radio, too! But in aqua. I also was a huge fan of Jem--I had the awesome Jem doll with light-up earrings.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNikkiSue

That video is like Sloth from the Gopnies and Chewbacca had a love child and lived to tell about it.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSpring

that dude reminds me of peewee herman trying to sing.... about as creepy too... weird.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Fret not, Jem fans. She's still on TV!!! The show airs on a station called The Hub on weekday afternoons. They show all kinds of classic 80s shows, both cartoons and sitcoms like Family Ties and The Wonder Years. My daughter LOVES Jem :)

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

That second video is not the original. Somebody messed with it. I know because I've seen the original quite a few times. My husband plays it because it's so stupid. didn't need somebody to voice over it because it was stupid to begin with.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

For those who don't know, that video has been over dubbed with someone elses voice as a spoof on the original. He was a russian singer who became famous for that song, though the original is almost as funny as this one.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel B

THERE'S A TEN HOUR VERSION of Trololo on you tube!!! Ten hours! TEN! 10!!!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

C.l.a.s.s.i.c. C.a.k.e. W.r.e.c.k.s! Love that the 6 years probaldy did not realize what was going on and the adults probably had a good laugh... Can you imagine the Dads at the party thinking huh?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephant

Don't they know it's wrong to laugh at people with disabilities?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I'm so scared right now from that video. I might start hyperventilating any second. That was way too freaky so I'm begging you, Jen, NEVER AGAIN! last wish on this earth...please don't ever show that guy again...*sound of body hitting the floor*

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

I LOVED Jem! Still waiting for Netflix to add it. Meanwhile, what IS that video? I had never heard of it but I thought it was a game show with someone making faces to try and guess what someone offstage was going to say or do. It's like being doped up on codeine and watching Lawrence Welk on your neighbor's TV through their kitchen window...

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy W

I watched that whole second video just HOPING I could figure out WHAT I WAS SEEING!?! :-O * blink blink blink *

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

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