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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar222012

Ahhhhh....GOOF OFF!!

Good morning!

[tapping fingers on keyboard]

[yawning]

[going back to bed]

...

2 hours later

...

I'm up! I'm up. Sort of.

So, as you know, today is International Goof-Off Day. Yep, international law clearly prohibits you from doing anything productive today, so you should tell your boss you'll be napping under your desk and/or playing Angry Birds all afternoon. (Maybe do that via e-mail...sometime tomorrow.)

Other than more naps and possibly making waffles later, *I* plan to celebrate by expending even LESS effort than usual on today's post. I know, I know; you didn't think that was possible.

Well, BEHOLD!!

 

This is a dinosaur:

 

This is a basketball:

 

This is The World's Best Resignation Letter:

 

This is a divorce cake:

Obviously.

 

And this is the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake I have ever seen:

(Yes, they even cut holes through the cake tiers for the pillars. We can only hope it was done ironically.)

Nice to see we're not the only ones goofing off around here, eh?


Thanks to Reihonna F., Erin M., Sebastian S., Linda N., & Melanie R. for helping us get in the holiday spirit. May your naps be plentiful, and all your birds extra angry

 

[John! Where'd you put the Nutella? It's WAFFLE TIME.]

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Reader Comments (83)

You know what the scary thing is? We have seen a LOT worse wedding cakes here than that one.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

*Too busy goofing off to comment*

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I love the divorce cake!! So much better than the one I had. I want the chain saw!

As a collector of all things Flamingo, I have to admit even I burst out laughing at the wedding cake. That was totally, awesomely hysterical! And I wish I had thought of it.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterev

When I heard it was International "Goof Off" Day I thought I was going to have to spend it removing stubborn stains from around my house. I like YOUR interpretation waaaayyyy better.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

and angry birds space comes out today, so there is not angry birds to play!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteramy c

Mmmmmm...Nutella

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

1.Waffles take way too much effort. If you don't put down that waffle iron you may risk causing an international incident. Go to Waffle House or some such place. Perhaps they deliverl

B. That dinosaur needs a Cinderella ;)

3. That divorce cake is wonderful. It almost makes me want to get a divorce so I can celebrate with a knockoff. Then I can get remarried and get the next cake. Any excuse for Jack Daniels and Peeps. Yum.

I'm going to go find a place to take a nap. My scrolling finger needs a little rest.

IV, Of course they cut holes through the cake tiers for the pillars. If you didn't cut holes, where would the pillars go???

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Just make sure they're toaster waffles........to make real waffles from scratch betrays the spirit of this international holiday.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I'm not a baker -- is it customer to leave the cake layers on their boards when stacking with pillars??

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I absolutely love that divorce cake.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergothchiq

I assume Waffle Time is like Hammer Time, only more delicious?

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

you should tell your boss you'll be napping under your desk and/or playing Angry Birds all afternoon

So it's not a coincidence that Angry Birds Space came out today? It's a sign! A big sign with a pig on top being knocked over by a speedy yellow bird rocketed out of a slingshot.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTechyDad

I'd post a comment, but that's too much like work...

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Love your blog! It is clever and funny and fun! The entries are all over the chart, from laugh- right- out- loud to sheer horror to too beautiful for words! The whole site is just great!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCinda

Aha! A "Shrek" reference! "I'm making waffles!"...

OMG, the basketball cake...what IS that?!

Love the divorce cake...and the resignation cake (or IS it? Could be the boss brought it in to tell Jimmy of his 2 weeks! You don't know!).

The wedding cake DEFINITELY gets a WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT.

Wow.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

I kind of love the divorce cake. Can we call it a "I'm having a really bad day, so back the f**k off or my Pegasus of Doom will finish off whatever the chainsaw leaves behind" cake instead? That seems more multi-purpose. And then we call all have a share of the chocolatey goodness. Because I never want to get divorced, but I do want that chocolatey goodness. Especially when I'm having a really bad day.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

The divorce cake was hysterical XD the flamingo cake-chocolate drops under birds, really? I wish I could goof off-oh well :(

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I have some concerns about exactly where she's going to attack him with that chainsaw...

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTmac

That basketball cake is really, really stupid. As for the poo dropping flamingo wedding cake - it always amazes me when I see cakers use push in pillars and cut holes for them. The cake is intentionally supposed to stabilize the pillars. When holes are cut, the structural integrity is 0%. It is an all around crappy cake.

Maybe the happy couple is supposes to slam back the JD shots before shoving pieces of the cake into each other's faces.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in SoFla

Is it bad that I really like the basketball cake? It's just so ridiculous and awkward, I can't help but love it.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Yes, I'd like a slice of the Flamingo-poo cake...with a side of Peep.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Tmac said, "I have some concerns about exactly where she's going to attack him with that chainsaw..."

I was thinking the exact same thing! In fact, I was looking to see where the "damage" was, but I don't see any red glaze so apparently she hasn't started yet!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

That 2 week notice cake reminded me of something I saw somewhere on the net where someone submitted his full, standard resignation letter on a cake.

I wonder how they kept that one on file?

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The first one got me thinking, man, a dinosaur would be like the ultimate lawn mower. Forget renting goats, rent a Centrosaurus to clear your brush. Be forewarned, though: they are messy eaters, and their eyes are creeepy.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

An international holiday!? National Goof-Off Day!? And on my birthday! Well, the world has reached perfection that only a Cake Wreck or two can properly acknowledge.Yay!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Yeah, that pegasus really puts the divorce cake over the top of Fabulosity. Also: chocolate.

*wanders away from desk in general direction of vending machine*

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

WHY is there a flying pony on the divorce cake? (yes, I know it's a Pegasus, but "flying pony" is cuter) :) And is that a puddle of strawberry goo under the football player? Yuck!! :( OTOH, it's a cute take on divorce cakes - much more original than most. ;)

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Love the 2 weeks notice cake, now that's quitting with style!
The basketball cake is unacceptable, that's called cheating, clearly a foul - a round cake with some black lines drawn on it would have been a tad more appropriate...
I do not accept the dinosaur, that is clearly some 2nd graders' science fair project that they made out of modeling clay and someone, in a fit of dinosaur-themed birthday spasms, grabbed and put on the cake. If I were that child, I would cry. Then I would eat the cake around the "dinosaur"
I also got a kick out of the flamingo cake. Points for originality and who doesn't like Peeps? Okay maybe on cake they're a little weird but hey, maybe that's what they wanted! No doubt their guests will NEVER forget that cake....

Never played Angry Birds before but it sounds like today's a good day to start!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

The divorce cake looks delicious!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

At least the divorce cake chocolate looks yummy. And the dinosaur is kind of cute, albeit not on par with Yoshi.

If we didn't already have the carrot jockeys, I'd nominate the flamingos for our mascot.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

First off--Fluffy cow's screen name is adorable. I wish it were mine. 8-) Secondly--Nutella on waffles? That's genius! The purple peep and flamingo cake has its own kind of awesome going on--(and a nice bird theme, come to think of it) but I keep thinking if they could have just substituted the Jack Daniels bottles in place of the columns--it would have been feathered flamingo and purple peep perfection.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Love to have been at the wedding with the purple cake. It takes a special kind of humor to really want that, and I want to be their friend.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm with Melonie. I have to admit the cheating basketball cake is my favorite. ::let's just make an orange cake and shove this plastic thing on top. Everyone will believe it's a basketball!"

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKogarashi

You know what, that wedding cake is so wrong it's right.

I think I would base my whole wedding theme around that cake.

On a not entirely unrelated side... you should look up my big fat gypsy wedding. Hilarity!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RafwEVmfBnY&feature=related

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Y`see, I am a goof - and I seriously want that purple poo flamingo cake. It is a wonderfully goofy thing of WTF beauty.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

Thanks Jen! I had no idea today was Goof-Off Day! Waffles are a GREAT idea. I linked to your post in a short one of my own and gave you credit for giving me the head's up :)

@Kdot ~ I like the way you think!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbe

I was playing the game blurt once. It is a game where you have a clue to guess what a word is and you have to beat your fellow players to the punch and blurt the word out. The word was flamingo. What came to my head was Pink Flamingo, but my mouth was moving faster than my brain and I ended up saying Pingo. It caused a laughing fit out of everyone that night that liked to have never stopped. I know you had to be there, but now I can't look at a flamingo without thinking about that night and that word. lol Anyway, needless to say I think my favorite out of all the cakes is the flamingo poop cook. lol

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Cakes 1 & 2: You sit on a throne of lies! That is not a dinosaur and that is NOT a basketball.

3. Are you sure that is not how long Jimmy has to live after being exposed to the radioactive frosting on that cake?

4. I like Kdot's description of that cake, but I'm gonna have to go with "Forget Bacon, Jack, I'm Marrying Chocolate, As Witnessed By the Luchador and Pegasus, Now Excuse Me While I Cut Myself a Slice With My Handy Pocket Chainsaw!"

5. Too much Jack Daniels gives flamingoes irritable bowels. Don't worry, the Peeps have them treed! Also, If the Ancients had based their Stargates on this cake, the jumper would never have gotten stuck. Square peg, round hole = Uh Oh! Round peg, square hole = Okie Dokie!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@GrnEyes6:

*very timidly pokes hand up* ummmm....I don't like Peeps....never could stand 'em, in fact...I always thought they were too sweet, so when I got them at Easter, I used to give them to my sister. *ducks before enraged Peep-loving mob throws handy objects at her*

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I have to believe that the flamingo poo cake holes were not cut out by the baker, look how precise they are! My thought is that they used roman pillars, which are square on each end, and pushed those suckers down into the cake, I mean how else are you supposed to use them?

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAli-G

That flamingo cake literally just made me fall out of my chair in laughter

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I'm with those who think the divorce cake is brilliant, not Wrecky. And it's even chocolate :)

Sent the two-week-notice cake URL to my fiance, who just gave notice at his old job. Wish he'd done it this way! (Although, of course, work should send you off with cake, not you buy them cake).

As for the flamingo wedding cake: at least they took the wrappers off the Hershey kisses! And other than the unfortunate placement of the top two kisses (under the birds!), the decoration's not that horrible; I suspect it's more poor bride/groom lack of taste than baker's ineptitude. (The tiers error is sheer ignorance, and possibly illiteracy, but not bad taste).

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

My first comment ... finally.

That wedding cake looks like some Jimmy Buffet wannabe, to me at least. I have a song stuck in my head but the words aren't coming to me, otherwise I'd put it down here. It seems to be merging with Weird Al too ...

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

The man on the divorce cake is flipped over, he should be on his back.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

@ SaraCVT: I've got your back. I have never liked Peeps, either. I always traded mine for jelly beans. : - )

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"International Goof-off Day", not to be confused with "International Procrastination Day," although we'd like to think so ... well, maybe tomorrow. :-)

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

That first cake looks like a 3D production model for a new app called "Angry Squirrels".

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

At first i thought the basketball cake was a plastic top of a basketball with a jar a cheese puffs underneath.. i was quite confused...

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHey.

As to the Dinosaur cake.... If it was really and truly done by a professional, I guess it's a wreck. However, that being said, I would be pretty darn impressed with myself for creating a cake that looked like that, and I'd take lots of pictures and show off my stunningly delicious creativity. - Just sayin.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeneric

as a cake decorator myself - not professional though otherwise I might end up on here... it would be very difficult to cut those square holes - so they must have some talent!!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne

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