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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar222012

Ahhhhh....GOOF OFF!!

Good morning!

[tapping fingers on keyboard]

[yawning]

[going back to bed]

...

2 hours later

...

I'm up! I'm up. Sort of.

So, as you know, today is International Goof-Off Day. Yep, international law clearly prohibits you from doing anything productive today, so you should tell your boss you'll be napping under your desk and/or playing Angry Birds all afternoon. (Maybe do that via e-mail...sometime tomorrow.)

Other than more naps and possibly making waffles later, *I* plan to celebrate by expending even LESS effort than usual on today's post. I know, I know; you didn't think that was possible.

Well, BEHOLD!!

 

This is a dinosaur:

 

This is a basketball:

 

This is The World's Best Resignation Letter:

 

This is a divorce cake:

Obviously.

 

And this is the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake I have ever seen:

(Yes, they even cut holes through the cake tiers for the pillars. We can only hope it was done ironically.)

Nice to see we're not the only ones goofing off around here, eh?


Thanks to Reihonna F., Erin M., Sebastian S., Linda N., & Melanie R. for helping us get in the holiday spirit. May your naps be plentiful, and all your birds extra angry

 

[John! Where'd you put the Nutella? It's WAFFLE TIME.]

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Reader Comments (83)

Hey! How did you know exactly what I spent my afternoon doing!?!? I think it is no coincidence that Angry Birds Space came out today! :) :) :)

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I really want to know more about that wedding cake. So... many... questions...

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

@Terrie: there's a book called Pingo http://www.amazon.com/Pingo-Brandon-Mull/dp/1606411098
or it's a mound of earth-covered ice http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pingo among other things....

I think the basketball cake looks like a pile of hot dogs with plastic flotsam on top.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiss

So the title of this post has me singing "Le Freak". LOL http://youtu.be/cqupk71a-O0

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Give credit on the dino cake for the beautiful scripted pieces of paper. That took extra effort. I hope, at lease, Jose liked it.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

That divorce cake is wrong. Just wrong!

(1) Always set your handbag down before using power tools. If it's made of a difficult-to-clean material, be sure to store it out of the splatter zone.

(2) Keep your pegasus or any other pets safely away from the blade and be mindful they might be startled by the loud noise.

(3) Wear safety glasses!

However, she did do the right thing by securing her long hair.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

When I saw the Chainsaw Cake Ithought it was more of a PMS cake. I could just imagine her saying 'Get your face out of my chocolate, or I'll use my chainsaw!!' And meanwhile the facedown luchador is going 'nom nom nom, burp. What, Honey?'

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

(hushed announcer voice) Here, we see the rare basketball hen diligently screening her pile of eggs from nearby predators…or, she’s just had a world record poop…hard to say.

Next time I quit a job I’m bringing cake to announce it AND it will be a flavor no one else likes! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough/gasp* (dang allergies)

That you so very, very much SuBee for bringing up the CinderellaTRexWrangler cake again. It’s almost my birthday and I still haven’t convinced anyone to get me one this year, either. :)

@SaraCVT & Andrea I hate Peeps, too! They’re cool to watch when you nuke ‘em in a microwave, though.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I'll jump on the Peep-hating (or at least Peep-disliking) bandwagon - why would anyone want to eat those when they could be eating CHOCOLATE?

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

the basketball cake kinda looks like corn, doesn't it?

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranne-marie

@SaraCVT & Andrea - I, too, am a non-lover of peeps. Much too sweet! But my daughter loves them......

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

@Fluffy Cow: Too busy goofing off to comment.

But the "WAFFLE TIME" realy make happy, and happy to come and smile.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjunny

The divorce cake is too funny.
The basketball cake looks like cheese balls...which would be delicious!

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

One of life's great mysteries solved at last: flamingos really CAN get diarrhea.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin Mad

And I just bought some rabbit peeps today too..sheesh. I would however eat the peeps and leave the rest of the cake. I love purple and that cake is my color but the poop ended my love lol. Ah what Hershey's Kisses can wreck thanks to the evil genius of the wreckerator responsible.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Well, Goof Off Day just ended, so here I am. (Contrarian that I am, I had too many things to do.) Of course, the ad banner at the top is for waffles.

#1 The huge bull thesaurus carries the scars of many battles with C. Wrecks.

#2 I thought initially that this was a jar of cheese puffs. Not the pastry kind, those oddly orange things that come in 5 gallon jars at the office supply store, which can also be used for packing. Actually, I'm not convinced that it isn't that. Mmmm, artificially-flavored food product!

#3 Too late, 'Jimmy' realized that glow-in-the-dark cake is a dish best served immediately prior to leaving, not two weeks beforehand.

#4 Reminds me of that joke where a guy returns a chainsaw to the store where he bought it, complaining that it took four times longer to use than any saw he had ever owned. The puzzled proprietor examined the saw and started it, whereupon the customer said, "What's that noise?"

In the present case (I'm taking the high road and not mentioning Texas), Biff there also thought of that joke and was laughing uncontrollably while rolling in the chocolatey goodness. He wasn't laughing when the chainsaw roared to life, however.

#5 Proof that you can put a round pillar in a square hole. The cardboard really adds something, as well. So how come no one asserted that the bride in this case had to go cheap, hmmm?

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I LOVE the divorce cake! I didn't get one when I got my divorce, maybe I should just randomly celebrate it now with a cake like that!

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

@Jeneric

The dinosaur was definitely made by professionals. In fact, it is a featured cake on their website. They not only made it, they are proud of it!

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDinoRawr

@ karen - Big fat gypsy wedding! Who knew there was such a thing, I love it. I'm all set for my weekend's viewing entertainment now, thanks!

That chainsaw toting doll frightens me.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertoasty

When you say "the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake I have ever seen," are you implying there might be other, MORE ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cakes you simply haven't yet seen? I find that hard to believe...

In any case, IMO it's also the most awesome flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake evah. I have a hard time thinking of what more they could possibly have done (although I do like the idea of using the JD bottles in place of the columns).

Also, peering into the square holes, the cake looks dark -- leading me to conclude there's at least a passing chance it's chocolate, which would make it even more awesome. And delicious.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTorka

"I'm a pineapple, she's a palm tree"

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Just awed by that Intelligent Design dinosaur.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Dash

I beg to differ. That flamingo cake is made of awesome!

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaribel

That last cake could use a figure of Divine eating one of the poo piles...

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterxevo

HAHAH I have a friend who gave his former boss a chocolate cake with "Andrews 2 week notice" on it last month! I will need to remember that in the future.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShadowL

Um, did no one else notice the maple leaves on the flamingo wedding cake? Especially with the... unpleasantness with Canada. If I were Canadian I'd be p***ed that no one noticed that reference to their great nation.
Just kidding, but it's pre-dawn here in Australia, I am severely sleep deprived (damn work *shakes fist*), and I think I am the only one who noticed the maple leaves, but then again, I stopped reading the comments after about the seventh mention of pillars. And red glaze.
Oh, but I don't see any JD on the wedding cake. Is JD different in the US, because here its what the blokes drink to woo the ladies.

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmoodge

I just saw the picture of the flamingo cake on my laptop and found the JD. Amazing the detail you miss on an iPhone.
THAT'S MY EXCUSE AND I'M STICKING TO IT

March 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmoodge

Nedoceratops's
clamshell frill protects from
the K-T event.

March 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I am a divorce lawyer. I may recreate that divorce cake for some of my clients. It's amazing.

March 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

@kdot Best quote ever - I think I want it on a shirt - "I'm having a really bad day, so back the f**k off or my Pegasus of Doom will finish off whatever the chainsaw leaves behind"

March 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGussie

oh my gosh the last one is so stinking hilarious i love how ridiculous it is you dont cut holes in the cake my mom decorates cakes and they are beautiful you have to put support rods in and they go from the first tier through the pillar and into the second tier depending on how many tiers the cake has if it has more than two tiers than you need longer support rods to go through each tier and pillar i love your blog jen and for a 12 year old its pretty dang funny i have attempted to decorate cakes and failed epically and as for the peeps flamingos hersheys kisses and random Jack Daniels bottle I HAVE NO COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

After reading all the comments, I guess I'm the only one with my mind in the gutter. To me that first cake looks like a preteen boy sculpted two frogs doing the wild thing. An embarrassed mom would then have glued on some eyes and horns so when people visited, she could pretend it was just something innocent.

Also, the palm trees behind the flamingos remind me too much of car fresheners.

May 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

my 4 year old says that dino is a bunny .Tose basketballs are weird. I asked my 4 year old about the birds and he said why did they poop thats not good.lol got to love kids

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

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