"Hi, I'd like a cake, please, and could you put a 'happy birthday' plaque on it?"
"No, no, I mean one of those plastic things on a spike - you know, a 'happy birthday' pick?"
"Maybe we should start over."
"Could you write, 'Over the Hill' or 'Officially OLD' or something like that? This is for my husband, so it's ok if it's borderline rude."*
"What the...? What is WRONG with you people? Look, my husband usually gets pie for his birthday, so I promised him that THIS year he'd get a REAL birthday cake..."
"I WASN'T FINISHED."
"But wow, you guys are fast."
[rubbing temples] "Look, I give up. Could you just give me a cake - any cake? No writing. Just grab one out of the case and hand it to me. Please."
"Which one? Oh, I don't care...how about the one with the chocolate flakes on it? Yes, that one. Yes, the flake. Thank you."
Oh, like you didn't see THAT coming.
*Actual dialogue Angela R. used while ordering this cake.
Thanks to Molly S., Savannah W., Angela R., Beth, Lisa H., for always taking things so literally.