My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

7 More Things That Should Never Be On Cake

And now, as a service to our readers' dieting endeavors:

7 MORE Things That Should Never Be On Cake


7. Anything that looks like a spleen

Also, why is the spleen the go-to organ for icky descriptions? You never hear someone say, "Hey, that organesque thing sure looks like a gallbladder!" Which begs the questions: is "organesque" a word? 'Cuz if not, it totally should be.


6. Shrimp

Because shrimp.


5. Nipples

Hey, don't get me wrong; nipples are great. Heck, I even have one myself. But cake should not have nipples. It just shouldn't. And the fact that I had to bring that sentence into the world makes me seriously question the direction this country is going.


4. Ants

Because anything I spend time and money trying to kill should not be something I have to pick off my cake.


3. Actual Feathers Plucked From Actual Birds

Let me get this straight: you jammed real feathers into the icing you expect me to eat?

So how about I fetch a beaver pelt and throw that sucker on there, too? Because if there's one thing we've learned about cake decorating, it's that animal outsides are both appetizing and completely sanitary!


2. Mold



1. Back hair

Actually, this is kind of hilarious.

Assuming those are chocolate shavings, of course.




Thanks to wreckporters Kathryn B., Kerrigan W., Ashlee, Kelly G., Rocky J., Tami F., & Anony M. for the inspiration to just have a salad today.

« Hey, Teachers! "THANX." | Main | Sunday Sweets: Take It Away, Movie Guy! »

Reader Comments (111)

The ants are just plastic decorations thingys. The thing I don't understand is why Tammy is not Tommy???

June 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJesi

Here in sweden we have something that would roughly translate into a "sandwich-cake".. though its not really a cake, its more of a gigantic sandwich, with different layers and fillings, shrimp, smoked salmon, caviar, boiled eggs, mayo included.. its not eaten as a dessert, more like festive food for birthdays, national holidays, some serve it at funerals too..

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlliss

The shrimp cake isn't so scary once I read the label. It is some sort of appetizer. It also contains salsa to go with the shrimp and the address is in Madrid, Spain.

June 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel M.

Shrimp ABSOLUTELY belongs on cake. Parappa garnished a birthday cake with it:

♪ "All we gotta do is apply the final touches.
Take out the shrimp, the clam and the perches.
The perch goes here, the clam goes there -
The litte tiny shrimps just go everywhere!
Whatever you like's in the middle, fiddle.
Seafood cake comes just like the riddle." ♪

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStar Donovan

#6 is actually cake. Tarta Langostinos Grande literally means "Large Prawns Cake" which could mean Jumbo Shrimp Cake or Shrimp Cake (Large). It is a cake, in one of those oddly arranged Spanish food stores where you have to ask for help to read the signs. That's why it's in Spanish.

Tammy's hairy back cake brings to mind the important reason why would-be-bakers should be taught proper grammar in culinary school. A comma after "back" would have distinguished the difference between a joking play on words (hairy/hurry), and an unfortunate new nickname for Tammy.

But all joking aside, whose idea was it to put a hairy guy on a cake? I'm sure someone somewhere is still laughing over how funny it was when they saw her face, while poor Tammy is still trying wondering if all her family/friends/coworkers have secretly seen her mainly back hair...

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

@SarahCVT: If you read the next bit, it translates to "cocktail sauce".

September 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlightswitch windowshade

EPCOT on the Tarta Langostinos Grande comments. Too many commenters saying it's a savory cake or not cake or whatever. I acept them, however... it's an EPCOT.

September 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlightswitch windowshade

Just an FYI .. not real mold.. haha black sugar crystal on a probably whipped icing cake .. creates.... wait for it...... molds twin!!!! nonetheless should not be on a cake!

September 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda


September 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterQWERTY

That totally was NOT a shrimp cake. It's a shrimp tart and it's meant to be served as an appetizer. You can tell by the cartons of what might be soup next to it that this was NOT found in the bakery section. While I applaud your creativity...Shrimp appetizer is NOT cake.

September 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKira

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