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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun132012

When Steampunks Graduate?

"Prithee, lord Westerbunkle, wouldst thou care for a celebratory spot of Earl Grey?"

 

Rowenna O., I vote we don our tiny hats and glue some gears on this thing, STAT.

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Reader Comments (63)

***Update***

OK, everyone, it’s safe to come out now. Craig’s talk with Theardare seems to have worked, all hostages have been released, KarateLady has mastered the “ear scratch of satisfaction” move (that’s black belt stuff, way to go!) we’ve found Barbara Anne, and we now have an emergency plan, where two DOC members, acting together, can cut off the sound system to the bunker with a series of codes – it’s like the Enterprise, where you need more than one person to blow it up. We’ve also replaced Theardare’s last batch of catnip – we think it was bad. He agrees that his latest escatpades were seriously cutting into his nap time, and seems to be cooperating. And Andrea? Dear, sweet Andrea? She should recover fully – and until then, she makes one heck of a snickerdoodle. Now, will someone please help me out of these damn shoes?

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

what on EARTH are you writing about Sharyn? I think the meds kicked in. and it does need gears and goggles.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

ROFL!! *snort* Sharyn!!

As to the 'Valid Victorian" -- I'm so glad we got the documentation to prove it, I'd hate to have to revoke someone's status and shunt them off to Modern.

**my bestie leather corset is donned, tiny hat approved and tilted properly, where's the party?** I've got just the gears to spew across this, in my most delicate, artful pose.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Just a quick one today -- I have to get my son to camp...

Sung to "The Monkees" theme song

There they go
Wrecking cakes again
But I like “Valid Victorian”
Allow me to explain

Hey, hey, it’s Steampunky
Shouldn’t the whole thing be in brown?*
But they’d better get busy
Gluing fondant gears all around

*Sorry, Jen, it rhymed...

@Jamie Jo -- It's been an ongoing theme in the last few posts. Theardare is a machine-gun toting cat who gets rather put out when someone suggests a wreck isn't wrecked, or who criticizes Jen and John. He can frequently be found in the Epcot bunker, and he's been running amok the last few days in the comments section. We'll have to write "The Ballad of Theardare" to get everyone else up to speed.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@Jamie Jo, you'll have to read through the comments from Monday and Tuesday to fully understand it, but things were going crazy at Epcot!

LOL @ today's cake! That someone would think Valid Victorian before valedictorian on a graduation cake is just mind boggling. Not that I would expect valedictorian to be spelled correctly. That would really be too much to ask. I like the flowers though.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

The cake does seem irrelevant compared to Sharyn's "comment".

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Comments section in-jokes have reached critical mass! Jettison the pod! Jettison the pod!

So the Valid Victorian is rewarded with a polished turd (and they said it couldn't be done!) and a long cigarette? I'll pass. Thanks anyway, Superintendent Barber.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Well, at least they spelled Valid and Victorian correctly!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDinobabe

And now we need a "Salute a Terrian" cake with a Star Trek theme or something else awesome!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

I'm not sure which is sadder - the fact that the wreckerator has hearing problems AND a total lack of common sense OR that it took me a few minutes to realize it was supposed to say Valedictorian!

Please don't encourage these people to wreck Steampunk cakes! Who knows what vile things will come of it? *hides*

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Valid Victorians....Charles Dickens,Benjamin Disraeli, Charles Darwin, Prince Albert, Florence Nightingale, John Everett Millais, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Ruskin, Dante Gabriel Rosetti, William Morris. Invalid Victorians...Tiny Tim, those suffering from rickets, chimney sweeps, Crimean War veterans, residents of Whitechapel.

....well, it kept me amused for five minutes!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Guess who WASN'T valedictorian of their class...

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpagopago

This wreck makes me remember my own graduation when I stopped to put gas in my car and the total was $14 and I gave the attendant (someone that was in my class but did not graduate) a $20 and received $11 in change....

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpigasus

It's been a while since I've been to Cake Wrecks' comment section. Am I supposed to know what Sharyn is talking about?

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMy Older Brother

Maybe I can get the same baker for my cousin's upcoming college graduation. A "Magnet Come Lawdy" cake would be awesome.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeacefulDave

Snicker, snicker, bwahaha!!!! Such a great (& properly spelled) inscription!!! I second the"Salute a Terrian" idea!! LOL

I took the brown pile to be a poorly executed top hat. :P

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Huh?!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@Sharyn - I think Craig will have to make an Un-Shoe Machine to go with the Un-See Machine. Or maybe you can get the Monkees interested in helping. After all, Monkee See, Monkee Shoe.

@Caroline B - fifty aged bronze gears for you! That was pure awesomeness! One question, though: if Prince Albert is in a can, then would he be moved to the invalid list?

That tassel looks like it's had a rough life. Maybe it's an invalid Victorian as well. Or it might be what's left of the original graduation tassel; the tradition started in the 16th century, apparently.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

(Snerk... Koffkoffkoff... Snort...)... (blinkblink).... (blink).... BWA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I think this needs to be either a t-shirt, or the title of your next book. Or both.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Personally, I'd love to get a "Valid Victorian" cake. I've had a thing about the Victorian era ever since my reporter dad dragged me to a ball at an American Civil War reenactment back when I was five years old - I've worn the clothing, learned to write Spencerian script with a dip pen, read every 19th century novel I could get my hands on, and turned myself into an Anglophile who knows how to make a proper cup of tea . . . Receiving a "Valid Victorian" cake would make it all seem worthwhile (you know, kinda like getting a "gratz on getting your driver's license" cake, heh)!

At Sharyn - thank you for the update; I was getting a little worried. However, I have to say, spending most of my Internet time between this site and the Best Friends Animal Society site, now I'm starting to wonder if Theardare could benefit from some clicker training and maybe some treat puzzles to keep him from turning his intelligence to other, more evil things . . . *hightails it for the hills before Theardare wakes up from his current catnip-induced state of euphoria - it is the good stuff after all!*

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

@PeacefulDave, I love Magnet Come Lawdy - my folks would probably think that was the correct spelling, althogh they would have ordered "Yore making you're sister look bad". (and yes, I know both 'yorrs' are wrong)

How about Congrats on making Deen's List? The cake could be stuffed with butter.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Makes me wonder what an IN-VALID Victorian looks like. Perhaps an adventurous gal in an inappropriate dress...?

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I'm glad normajean, Barbara Anne and DB are okay. Many thanks to Sharyn for being the bait, KarateLady for effective use of the Scratch of Satisfaction move, and to Craig for doing Something Important off in the secure section of the bunker. And of course, to the rest of you for putting up with our escapades. ; )

At first I was wondering what a cracked, black jawbreaker had to do with Victorians or Graduations or anything at all. Then I realized, it's the Victorian's graduation cap and tassel. Nope, I don't think that cap is very Victorian at all.

Heh. I was poking around on the interwebs and saw this on wiki-answers: "Who makes the speech at high school graduation valla Victorian?" and this on funadvice, "How can I beat the others up for Valor Victorian?"(that second one is my favorite). Ahhh, to see a wreckerator in the making is...not all that rare, apparently! *sob*

PS: Thanks, Sharyn, I love the Monkees!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

WARNING: The following contains inside jokes, and might not be suitable for all comments readers – but just ask, and we’ll get you up to speed. Theardare first appeared in the last frame of the March 7, 2012 post, (isn’t he a handsome fellow?) and he’s been keeping our lives interesting ever since.

The Ballad of Theardare the Cat (Sung to “The Brady Bunch” theme)

Here’s the story
Of a cat named Theardare
Who has pretty much made Cake Wrecks his new home
He has lovely fur of orange
And an Uzi
Better leave him alone

And the glory
Of this cat named Theardare
Is he won’t let anyone be mean to Jen
If she says the cake’s a wreck
Well, then it is
Don’t question her again

And then one day when he thought someone should mellow
Theardare grabbed “Copacabana” on a hunch
He found out he could convince the doubters
If he played it very loud for them a bunch

He’s not sorry
Not our dear boy, Theardare
But admits perhaps he got a bit extreme
It was dark and there was scary
Organ music
We heard somebody scream

Not to worry
Craig talked to Theardare
He’s agreed to leave the regulars alone
He’s toned it down a lot
But be careful
He kept his megaphone

So the moral of our story about Theardare
Is he feels he must avenge all Cake Wrecks’ wrongs
Respect the Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles
And he won’t bombard you with Manilow songs

Manilow songs
Please, not those songs
Please, Theardare, ixnay on all Barry’s songs

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@Caroline B and DB - Brilliant!

@ PeacefulDave - Hee!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Oh, dear. I have been wondering what might happen if someone compiled CW comments in book form. Straight linear might be too confusing, so there would be a need to untangle the various threads into subsections: EPCOTs, Therardare, etc.

Has anyone here ever written an encyclopedia? Just asking.

Anyway... My theory (which it is, and it is mine, too) on today's wreck is that it was either requested that way as a joke -- which still makes it a wreck, I hasten to add -- or else it was a second or third-generation verbal repeat of the original order, with no one after the customer ever having seen 'valedictorian' in print.

Say 'valedictorian' rapidly to someone not familiar with the word, and they will likely parse it per today's specimen in an effort to make sense of it. After all, the customer is always right, right?

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

This could be the cover of the next book, with Sharyn's parodies (along with wrecks) on the inside!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Excellent song, Sharyn. I was going to suggest that someone with sufficient curiosity (and time to match) could type 'Theardare' in the search box conveniently provided under the Carrot Jockeys*, whereupon they will be rewarded with a compendium of all comments relating to the 'famous' feline. But the song is faster.

*The Jockeys do have trails. At first, I thought I had been at the computer too long (as if), but the trails are really there. Jen and John: if there is any thought of animating them, please let us know ahead of time -- it will save a lot of worry.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Thanks to this post, I'm able to move one step further past my disappointment over not being the "Valid Victorian" or "Salute a Torian." Wait, no, make that two steps deeper into my disappointment, because I could have gotten cake with a wrecky inscription!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

@Sharyn - thank you for causing consternation among those in my general area. Gigglesnorts do not often emanate from my little domain, but your last chorus and coda managed to elicit a couple of them. Well done!

@CrAig - Another possible interpretation could be Valley Dick or Ryan for a cake for like, twin boys, fer sher!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

I love Cake Wrecks. I love Cake Wrecks fans.

Thank you Sharyn, for that brilliant explanation of Theadare. I'm here every day, but often earlier in the postings and so have missed out on some of the fun. Be assured, I shall make time to keep abreast of Theadare's whereabouts from now on!

Cheers!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

My sister in law was the valedictorian of her (albeit small) graduating class and even she thought it was "valid victorian".
Really quite shameful!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngus

I get it. One was victorious in that one gradated at the top of his or her class. The diploma in hand makes it truly valid. The baker was just putting a new spin on an outdated word. I mean, really, who says, "valedictorian" anymore?!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

At least it didn't say "Valid Dictorian"

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeni

This makes me really worry what would have happened if they'd requested "summa cum laude" instead.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermouse

Who are you calling a Torian? I salute no Tory. I am most certainly a Whig. This is certainly an invalid cake. Sickening.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon

Standing ovation for Sharyn! The Ballad of Theardare the Cat was excellent and I love that it is set to the Brady Bunch theme song.

Ha! No, Jen and John(thoJ), don't tell us when you alter The Jockeys! Just randomly change their mounts to cucumbers or give them mohawks of fire or something. Keep us on our toes and see who's paying attention. Or just take them away for an hour and freak us all out.

ALTHOUGH, then you'd get 10 billion comments like this:

"THE CARROT JOCKEYS ARE GONE! WHAT IS GOING ON?! IS IT JUST ME?!"

"No! My Carrot Jockeys are GONE TOO!"

So, maybe not worth it for you to wade through all that.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Andrea The escapades are what keeps me checking the comments so often. PLEASE dont stop anytime soon, you guys...it's what keeps me grinning and giggling most of the day.
I wish I was quick witted and snarky enough to add to the fuel!

THANK YOU to Jen and John (thoJ) for letting us play here!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Wow.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

This has been most excellent! A great wreck, hilarious comments! We are once again amazed at the genius out there! Or the lack thereof that causes such cakes to happen in the first place. (How do those wreckerators function in the real world? I worry about those people.)

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Theardare sometimes sounds like Scratch Fury, Destroyer of Worlds...

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Is a Valid Victorian the opposite of an Invalid Victorian? A lot of Victorians were supposedly invalids.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

@Ela -- who says you aren't quick-witted and snarky enough? That's the sort of person who is attracted to CW in the first place, in particular to the comment board. Jump in anytime -- the more the merrier.

@Andrea, you mean to tell me you wouldn't have a brief moment of wondering if you needed to check in somewhere if you saw the Carrot Jockeys move without being warned ahead of time? I have enough moments like that as it is can do very nicely without that sort of excitement.

@mouse -- I wouldn't go there even if free cake was being served. Well, maybe in that case. But just for the cake.

@DB -- That's a novel parsing of today's word. If there is one thing that really sends me into paroxysms of dry heaves laughter, it's Val-speak.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@mouse: Summa Cum Laude would probably translate into Summer Come Later or (more likely in CakeWrecks form) Summa' Come Lata'. :)

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

I could not stop laughing over this one. Even twenty years later I can remember the handful of students in my class who actually cared about getting valedictorian and worked for it. (I wasn't one of them!)

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

I was a salutatorian and would have LOVED a cake that saluted me as a Tory. What an awesome thing to put on your first resume! My son graduates from high school next year. This is inspiring me to plan the wreck for his party!

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Summa cum laude wreckerated into Summer Corn Latte?

I'm going to have to go back and read Monday and Tuesdays comments.

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Oh no! What happened to the carrot jockeys?

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFsurica

So, did anyone ever help Sharyn get out of those tippy, trippy, 5-inch heels? Sharyn, I hope you didn't fall over the curb when you got out of the car to drop your son off @ day camp. (You DID remember to change out of your skimpy outfit before going, right?) Love your parodies, but the Ballard of Theardare...takes the cake! Hee, hee, hahaha...uh, is this keyboard working?

Thanks for the rescue, Gals (& guy!)

PS I would love to see a Summer Come Loud cake... Is that a party on the beach w/lots of booze, music, & no supervision whatsoever? Sounds like it, anyway.

And where is Haiku Joy?! She's missed all the fun! :-/

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

PPS I made my daughter tell Stash & Spot to release Theardarea unharmed. ;-)

(read the last posts on yesterday. Or was it the day before yesterday?)

June 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

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