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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug152012

Seven Surprising Words Bakers Can't Spell

(Warning: Slightly badish word)

If one didn't know better, one might think that "congratulations" and "birthday" were the only words that bakers regularly misspelled.  To this I say "Pish Tosh!" since I am currently in a post-Olympics English funk.  Also, I assume all English people regularly say "Pish Tosh."  Along with "ickle bobby wagon."

There are, however, a plethora of words that enjoy the same vigorous mangling.  These include:

 "Nathibnals"

 

"Yatch"

 

"Cummunion:"

 

"Fathdays"

 

"Pocker"

 

The wonderfully ironic "Ausome"

 

 And, of course, "asswhoie"

[Little known fact: "ASSWHOIEEEE!!" is what Goofy originally screamed while sailing off that cliff, before the censors got a hold of it.]


Thanks to Ashley C., Carol M., Connie F., Rachel N., Sunshine, Heather D., & Gare E. for giving me an excuse to post my favorite Goofy clip:

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    Only a smiling visitor here to share the love (:, btw great layout.

Reader Comments (87)

OMG not only can they not spell awesome, but I cringe when people can't spell you're.... or there and their..... or to too and two...... I cant wait until next June so I can wish every man I know "Happy Fathdays Day!" Love, Momther


[Editor's note- I think your to critical of they're grammar. HEYO! Seewhatididthere? But seriously, if they can't spell "Awesome," how can we hope they would figure out the mind-boggling complexity of "You're"? Also, I believe the question mark should go outside of the quotes in the previous sentence because I'm crazy like that! -john]

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

And if you really wanted to get technical there is always the "your" v. "you're" conundrum.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkekej

Is that a little hangman's gallows in the corner of the Fathdays Day cake?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Aww...and the pocker cake was so pretty too! Maybe if they stuck some Pocky sticks into the top tier, they could claim it was an intentional crossover. *nod-nod*

Also "yatch" sounds like a rather colorful euphemism for a part of the female anatomy and I don't think I want in that club :/

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I can't believe that you missed the 'your' on the ausome cake! Unless, of course, they were supposed to put something after ausome.. like "Your ausome catch"... or "Your ausome performance"... Maybe?


Nah.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue

One word. Your.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Better than the Olympics.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The "pocker" cake is really quite "ausome." Just goes to show how important spelling is!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

What is the significance of the dominoes on the pocker cake?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

cummunion! That is wonderful! Thanks for the laugh!

Y'know....the Asswhoie cake could also be read as Ass WhoLe. As in the entire thing, not limited to just the orifice.

Bizarrely more satisying than just calling someone the rectum.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Nimous

The poker cake is well done otherwise. Especially the highest trump card, the Ace of Black Hearts.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark

Not relevant, but it popped into my head.

"Yes, it's SPELLED Raymond Luxury Yacht, but it's pronounce Throatwobbler Mangrove."

For those of you taking notes, I want that on my birthday cake next year.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenny H.

It's spelled "Yatch," but it's pronounced "Throat-warbler-mangrove."

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

Hookt on foniks werkt for me!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Why are there dominoes on the "Pocker" cake?

First "Cummunion?" If this weren't a family friendly blog, I'd have a lot of jokes about that and a boy hitting puberty!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

The "Your Ausome" cake, this could be for someone with Autism. Ausome is often used in the Autism community to celebrate the uniqueness of those affected instead of being ashamed by it. I am more worried about "Your" instead of "You're" on this cake.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindysue

Sung to “A Whole New World”

You have shown me new words
Cakes that need to be mended
Wreckerator, just when did
You toss spelling rules aside?

You have opened my eyes
To new words like “Nathibnals”
Just what word had you meant there?
‘Cause I really can’t decide

A whole new word
With new fantastic spellings, too
When you spell “Yatch Club” so, from head to toe
It makes me feel like screaming

A whole new word
“Cummunion” written in plain view
For as I’m standing here, it’s crystal clear
That now I’m going to learn new words from you

Unbelievable sight
Indescribable feeling
My whole psyche is reeling
As your spelling hurts my eyes

A whole new word
It’s ”Fathdays” now for you and me
I’ve got a shooting pain, back in my brain
Why can’t you write it as it ought to be?

A whole new word
Does “pocker” look just right to you?
“Your ausome” written there
Can’t help but stare
As I share these whole new words with you

A whole new word
Let’s shout “Asswhoie!!!”
It’s a disgrace
You can’t erase
For me to see

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

"So dese two yoots walk into a yatch club..."

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Was "nathibnals" supposed to be "nuptials"? It's the only idea I have.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I 'm just wondering "your auesome what?"

;)

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

I'm thinking "nathbinals" = "nationals". The bigger travesty of that cake, to me, is the yellow writing and border on white frosting. Hard to read.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

But can we be sure that Ryan and Robin weren't looking forward to their Nathibnals?

So sad about the Pocker cake. So much effort, so little attention to detail.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Aside from the strange black hearts, the misspelling of poker, and the weird random dominoes thrown in, the pocker cake wasn't all that bad. Still trying to figure out what dominoes have to do with poker though. Should I start heading for the bunker?

On my own weird random side note, I couldn't help but think, "Pocker? But I hardly know her!"

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

To be fair (just to stay in practice, no other reason), Nathibnals is actually "Nathionals" with gratuitous interference from the "g" in "Coming."

And the less said about "Cummunion" the better. I think that's the Whitley Streiber novel in which the aliens get REALLY serious about the anal probing. Or maybe it's a reference to the resemblance between certain adult video performers awaiting the consummation of a scene and recipients of Mass. Wait, I didn't type that out loud, did I?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

As far as I'm concerned, the "nathibnals" actually says "nathionals"; this is still incorrect, but more easily translated into "nationals", which I believe it meant to say. It just looks like a "b" because the tail of the "g" above it kind of smushes into the "o".

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdangibney

Pocker? I didn't even know her! :D Where are the spades?? And clubs (although it looks like there might be clubs on the sides, just not on the front with the other 'suits')?

And I had to look up pish tosh...I had only heard of pish Posh. I now think using pish posh is total poppycock. :)

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGirlNamedCorrie

I remember that Goofy scream! I think Condorman had the same scream but that might be too obscure. It wasn't one of Disney's finer moments.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

If you look at the bottom corners of the Fathday's Day cake, it looks like they say "caper dad" and "#1 bad" respectively. Huh?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Pish-post.

;o)

Other than that...that's not how you spell those words?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Pocker must be some strange mash-up between dominoes and poker, but instead of a deck of normal cards, they use a deck where hearts is the only suit.

If this isn't a real game, it should be, because that would just be ausome. And if you don't think so, YOUR AN ASSWHOIE!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

So many candidates for the "slightly badish word"...

"Nathibnals" could easily be an antiquated word for some bit of private anatomy: "Verily, thy coyness hath made mine nathibnals blue."

"Yatch," a combination of "yoni" and "hatch," started out as a polite term for a dilated cervix, but was quickly adopted as a mild expletive and playground insult.

"Cummunion" requires no further comment; though its proximity to the symbol for the Sumerian fertility god Tammuz is interesting.

But it's clear now that "asswhoie" is the word you meant. Assuming that "I" is meant to be an "L," perhaps the original intention was to convey the opposite of "half-assed." Of course, when I assume, I make an ass out of who and ie.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Oh…so there are some who have never celebrated Nathibnals? Interesting….

A Yatch Club is a group that makes small, origami versions of famous yachts…the letters are changed because their work is not truly “c” worthy…

Isabella is celebrating…how do I put this…the first event whereby she and her partner united together and successfully reached a point of intense bliss simultaneously….

Fathdays: a celebration of fasting and bathing….

Pocker is a variation of Poker, where players are allowed to keep up to four cards in their pockets, to be played when most advantageous… and yes, @ Mark, the black Ace of Hearts is the highest card, but unfortunately only one is randomly distributed in every five Pocker decks produced.

The “Your Ausome” cake was given to his love by a guy from Australia, conveying, of course, with an economy of icing, that he was her awesome Australian….

Finally, had the sprinkles been in the correct place, the last cake would have read “Thanks for leaving A.S. Shoie!” – a parting shot at a summer bakery intern who learned absolutely nothing during his placement and caused general confusion while there….

@Sharyn: spp…. your comment yesterday was too kind; I am but a journeyman… even a blind pig finds a truffle now and then….
@Barbara Anne: “you swine!”???? This little piggy cried all the way home…lol….you are soooooo funny... :-)
@zoomom: yu arr on a role! gd wrk!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Wow I totally wasn't thinking "Nationals", I assumed it was supposed to be "Nuptials".

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Sharyn and zoomom bahaha XD. I do wonder if there is some breeding facility for bad spellers that exists purely for breeding idiots for amusement...

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I never had a Nathbinals ! is it going to catch on over here, proms have shame Im too old for them but can anyone have a nathbinals? can I wear my tiara?
BTW your "English" idiomatic phrases are quite......American! your nearly as convincing as dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdiddeymaz

It's even worse when it's a misspelled word on an otherwise beautiful cake.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

YAAAAAAAAASSSWHOOOOWHOOOOWHOOIE!!

I will totally never be able to hear it any other way again. And I'm the weirdo who busts out with my best impression at the slightest provocation. (Often in response to a Wilhelm, which I can't imitate nearly as well.)

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlenxa

I want to play balderdash with some of you.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

OMG - That part about Goofy at the sent me over the edge! Not laughing at work is almost as hard as not laughing in church. Holy crap, I think I broke a rib holding that in :)

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

Sharyn: LOVE!!! :D That made my day!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I think the black "hearts" are supposed to be Spades... They just need the little stems... And some of them are upside down (or right side up if they're actually hearts)...
Still slightly wrecky but at least they're actually the right color!!!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

@mel - ROTFL!! "not 'c' worthy"! Hahahahaha!!

As for these cakes? It's so sad, really. Great fun, but sad.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Nothing says you're not awesome like a cake that says Your Ausome.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShauna

That cake with "Your Ausome" should be "You're Awesome". I hate when I see Your and You're used wrong.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria Olinger

Did you catch the '#7' on the bottom right corner of the 'Fathday's' cake?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara

you guys are all wrong about the ausome cake. ausome is a candy manufacturer, they even have their own .com! clearly the cake maker was conceding that it wasn't their candy, but "your ausome"!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterallie

OK so now my neighbours will wonder when I brought a donkeypig into my flat. 'It is not a donkeypig', I will tell them, 'I am just laughing'. And then I will shout 'HAPPY FATHDAYS DAY YOU AUSOME ASSWHOIEEES!' and run off, making donkeypig noises.

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Anne @ Rock Salt

I am always quoting that line from Goofy! The G version, of course.
(I teach in an alternative school so the spellings didn't phase me.)

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRJ

As opposed to AssPart?

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabel

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