Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep202012

MASS HYSTERIA

Based on the wrecks I see each day, I'm starting to think most decorators are completely incapable of making a cake that looks like an animal. Any animal. In fact, I'm not entirely sure any of them have  ever actually seen an animal. So as a public service, let's do a little review:

 

This... is a duck.

 

This... is not a duck.

[tilting head]

Nope.  Not a duck.

 

This is a baby porcupine:

 I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to nuzzle him.

 

This is a baby Darth Maul:

I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to eat his face.


This is a dog:

 You can tell because it looks a lot like a dog.

 

This... is a lemon... poodle...

OF DOOM!!!

(It's a new breed.)

 

These are swans:

They're totally necking.

(Hey, Jen! I made a pun!)

 

These are the fabled Golden Anteaters of Madagascar:

I like to think they just finished slurping a spaghetti noodle.

 

 And finally, this is an elephant:

"Talk about your trunk space, check this action out!"

 

And this is the crumple-horned snorkack:

"Fabulous, Harry, I love the crumples."

 

Thanks to Sarah A., Vanessa D., Carissa, Terri C., and Jared S., who know it's not easy making an Aladdin/Harry Potter mashup joke, but that's just the kind of dedication we have here at CW.

« I've Got Some Good News, and I've Got Some BAD News... | Main | Hooray For Online Piracy! »

Reader Comments (76)

Crumple-Horned Snorkack for the win!!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Lemon Poodle of Doom now preparing to haunt nightmares. Ouch. There's going to be so...much...uh...lemon. Yipes. haha this post made me laugh the most I've laughed all week! I'm going back up now to rememerize it. :D Thanks a million!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

To restore your faith that SOME decorators can make a decent animal cake, check out the cat cake along with the pic of the cat model here:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.234765836562275.54946.156691634369696&type=3

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDani

A Bakery Owned and Operated By Londo Mollari at B5 is obviously the place that produced all of these grand masterpieces!

I'm sure that duck looks like a cat!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

John, nice pun!

Sharyn: Ee-i-ee-i -NO! OMG, I am going to use that on my 17-year-old son in my whiniest voice and annoy the heck out of him.

Lemon Poodle of Doom: I wonder if they have refined the breeding standards enough so it will qualify this year to enter the AKC Kennel Club show as a new breed. Already a contender for Best of Show!

I don't think the last one is supposed to be an elephant. I think it's one of those things you put on the floor to keep the drafts from coming in under the door.

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

bonus points for the harry potter reference!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Baby Darth Vader took one look at the "duck" and told me that it really is a duck...but she's not two yet and probably recognized it because it looks like it would if she made it :D

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobynR (Baby Darth's Mom)

I think the "swan" cake might have been a "flamingo" cake. Kind of peachy for swans.

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

I've always imagined Crumple-Horned Snorkstacks to be a bit like the Chinese fireball exept with massive horns. anyway, now i know what they look like in cake form. Thanks!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterclaire

I honestly thought that the first cake was an excellent rendition of the original. That is to say if the original was E.T. wearing a duck costume he got a Walmart.

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

I lost it at Lemon Poodle of DOOM. There's a meme in there somewhere, I just know there is...

Well, I'm thinking the swans were actually an attempt at some obscure Ancient Egyptian gods... right? ... right? *crickets* Okaaay, maybe not....

LOVE the Harry Potter reference! Yes!

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

That Harry Potter/Aladdin mashup joke made my day, er, night. :)

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Ee-i-ee-i -NO (this will enter the vocabulary of every faithful, rabid addict of CW)

PEGGY, RN is a genius!!! yes! (insert don't-book-tours-look-better-by-comparison-grin here)


The duck has quacked up, you can see it in her eyes.
The porcupine melted into a poodle (ty for that one, mel) at the mention of being nuzzled.
The poodle looks sufficiently embarrassed to be forgiven for existing.
The anteaters just finished filming a mouthwash commercial.
The snorkack is a lie.

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

That lemon poodle of doom looks sort of delicious lol. Then again I like lemon filled cakes. Though I might have to run screaming from that elephant..looks suspiciously like a snuffalupagus in disguise lol.

September 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The elephant cake looks more like an anteater to me! Have you seen a BABY ANTEATER?!?! So flippin cute!!!

September 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeni-poo

I am pretty sure the last one is Alf.

September 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKat

At long last, a definitive sighting of the elusive Crumple-Horned Snorkack! CALL THE QUIBBLER, WE HAVE PROOF!

September 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Sharyn, you're the best! I'm still laughing!

September 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Zoology nerd sticking her head in to say that the juvenile porcupine you show looks like an Indian Crested Porcupine. They're very cool beasties that get to about the size of a medium sized dog as adults, and they don't throw their quills; they put it into reverse and back into whatever they want to go all stabbilty on. I have a few ICP quills and one of them is between 1/8" and 1/4" in diameter and they can be well over a foot long. I got the quills during a preceptorship at a zoo that has several and I helped to extract one from a caved-in tunnel it had been digging.

September 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

@Cheryl now, that is an example of the right kind of reality intruding on our Wreckiverse! thanks for the advising that some back up into their victims instead of throwing quills. I'm always looking for trivia to win bets with and cut animal trivia always works!

September 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I think some of the details on the Crumple-Horned Snorkack might have been a bit off, but I'm not a quibbler.

(Oh, I crack myself up.)

September 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

The Harry Potter and Aladdin references made my day!

September 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCelia

"This is a baby Darth Maul"

Seriously, I have no laughed so much in a long time... I nearly fell off the sofa!

October 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClare

me saying the words out loud

lemon... poodle.. of... HAHHAHAHAHA... doo...HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... oo....HAHAHAHAHA...ooom.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

October 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda (your biggest fan)

I love Mallards!

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEm

re: the last cake of this series

OMG, someone just ripped the offending "nose" from the "the-best-unintentionally-obscene-halloween-cake-ever" out by its roots. And is serving it up as a cake in its own right. I somehow just don't think it's happy to see us any more.

November 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>