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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

"Perfectly" Punctual

Yesterday we covered parentheses and quotation mark. Today, THE WORLD.

Or maybe just some extra apostrophes:

This Beth belongs to Congratutation.

The booties are anyone's guess.


 I see lots of apostrophes where quotation marks should be, but I have to admit, this is the first time I've seen it the other way around:

I blame whatever madness drove the baker to add that L.


You might think periods would be easy to deal with, but if so, you're obviously a man with a death wish.

Or this baker:

I don't really know who St. David is, but I'm hoping against hope he's the patron saint of punctuation.


On the opposite end of the spectrum is the three period run, or if you want to get all technical about it, the ellipsis:

Because nothing conveys sincerity quite like trailing off mid...


 With all these confusing options, you might be tempted to skip punctuation entirely, bakers. But that path has its own perils:

Yeah, way to go, Bob. I mean, that was soooo great, that thing you did. Scha.


 My personal favorite, though, is the wild card mish-mosh of punctuation patter:

I dare you to do a dramatic reading of this cake.


 And finally, the colon cake you've been waiting for:

Come back after we slice it for the semi-colons.



Thanks to Elizabeth C., Miriam A., Doreen L., Ariel F., Sarah C., Gernez, & Kim T. for the excuse to link to Victor Borge's phonetic punctuation.

« A Cake Wrecks Guide For Nervous Brides | Main | Can I Quote You On That? »

Reader Comments (71)

I simply MUST know: what special occasion called for a Thank-you note from Marshall's colon?

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess Fiona

I type this knowing perfectly well that you will already have been told this, and will probably hear this for the rest of the day: St David is the patron saint of Wales. His day is March 1st, and those of Welsh descent can wear a daffodil or leek (yes, I said "leek") that day. Cymru am byth!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

My first thought on reading the "Way To Go Bob" cake was that it had something to do with a special way to "go bob," whatever that might be . . . kind of like referring to various methods of doing things, i.e. a "way to go vegan" or a "way to go brunette." Maybe it was congratulating someone on getting a very specialized bob haircut?

And while I'm very glad to know that Marshill's (sp?) colon is clear as a bell, I am a bit concerned about what he's been feeding the poor thing to give it that much gas.

(And any punctuation errors in this comment were entirely intentional, and meant to provide a subtle jibe at the decorators of the above cakes. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!)

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

AAAHAHAHAHA!! Oh I laughed much harder than I should have regarding the colon cake. Despite being something I personally wouldn't touch with a ten-foot fork, at least the spelling and punctuation all seems correct!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Ewww. I read cake #3 totally different. Instead of St. David Day, I saw "Happy 1st period David Day" I was wondering why a David would be celebrating his period. LOL

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Well, at least the colon is not slimy looking, My favorite is St.period David. Wonder if anyone ever thought of sending just a plain cake?

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Sung to “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”

That little mark causes commotion
It’s just so confusing to me
I really just don’t have a notion
Of how to use apostrophes.
One mark? Two marks? Before or after the S? Dear me!
Hey, Beth, show me how to use apostrophes!

I know that it’s not a quotation.
Please explain the difference to me.
My writing is quite an adventure.
‘Cause I can’t use apostrophes.
One mark? Two marks? Before or after the LLs? Oh me!
Good luck teaching me about apostrophes.

St. David is having a period.
I don’t think that’s how it should be.
I’m wondering if maybe the baker
Should go to a health class or three?
Pretty sure that’s not how they ‘splained it to me, to me.
It goes against all human biology.

And what the heck is an ellipsis?
It just looks like three dots to me
Perhaps Best. Michelle can explain it
Or is it like “I before E?”
I’m indifferent. They’re not important to me, to me.
Might not use ‘em. I guess I’ll just have to see…

Bob just doesn’t get punctuation
At least there’s none that I can see
How does one “Go Bob?” I’m just wondering.
It sounds rather painful to me.
So far there are at least three things that could be, could be.
So what? Who cares? Bob just means nothing to me.

I don’t want to seem too dramatic
Too much punctuation for me
I’m finding this really traumatic
I read it like Shatner, you see.
It’s. Just. Too much. I can’t see how this can be, can be.
Greg, please, won’t you help define “Gernez” for me?

I don’t want a slice of the colon.
My Mom says that it’s bad for me.
Why don’t we just leave it a whole one?
That’s way better than a semi.
Ew. Ack. Get back. Please don’t point that thing at me, at me.
I like colons way better than their semis.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Thanks you Good Lucks, my preciousssss!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Erin Go Bob! Happy St. Paddy~s D'ay

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterauntie meme

I think "Way to go Bob" is in recognition of the fine effort someone made to become Bob-like. Not everyone can go Bob. It takes a certain kind of panache, attention to detail, and plaid. Lots of plaid. Sadly the stripey stars miss the Bob-essence of the honoree.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

As I recall, St. David is the patron saint of Wales (cf. Henry V, with Captain Flewellyn, who notes that Harry wears the leek in his hat [I am not making this up] on "Saint Davey's Day"). And as the husband of a postmenopausal wife, I can say that periods are indeed quite easy to manage. :D

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Am i the only one who thought Michelle's cake would have been better for St Period Michael?

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterklwa

I'm developing a theory about bakeries. They all get up early to make the donuts (and cakes and cupcakes and blintzes and whatever else is going on), and I am starting to wonder if they're just not getting enough coffee before work? Or management is hiring people who are not "morning people". I'm also leaning towards requiring bakeries to give a written English 101 test prior to being given a piping bag.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren O

This is what happens when you don't teach grammer in school. Also, WTF is with that last cake??? O_o Sharyn lolol

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

According to my super-scientific Wikipedia search, St. David is the patron of Wales, Pembrokeshire, vegetarians, and poets. Don't know about the first three, but I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere about punctuation and poetry! And as far as the colon cake goes... I can't even muster up the words to describe my reaction.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

@klwa: EWW!! roflmao

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda


Is that an adventure in the nude? (au natural)

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercc

@Sharyn -- LOL!! Well done
That colon cake -- ah, yeah. Um. I'm stuck trying to find something to say.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

As the saying goes,once you go Bob,you never.....

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

What the L?

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Alas, St David isn't the patron saint of punctuation, but of Wales. But he was known as a teacher (if Wikipedia is accurate), so maybe we can sneak an extra job in for him?

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergamingkitty

If that "colon" looked a little les's like a "tapeworm", it might be fairly funny's.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

St David is the patron saint of Wales (and, oddly enough, of vegetarians). I don't think there is a patron saint of punctuation, but there really should be!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeafMedievalist

Is "going Bob" the opposite direction of "turning Japanese, I really think so?"

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

"slice it for the semi-colons" -- RFLMAO (Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Asterisk Off)

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter.m'e"l...

Did anybody notice that congrats is spelled wrong on the first cake? I'm seeing "congratutations"......

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAunt4god

@ Sharyn ~ I just got glared at for laughing at my desk. You've outdone yourself this time! "to me, to me!" is killin' me!

I don't want any of that colon either, thanks anyway!

I'm a little afraid of what mel is going to have to say about this one. ;)

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

I'd just like to give props to Arlene for calling the apostrophe post!

1. Congratutation decided not to pass on the family name and is going to name her daughter Beth instead.

2. Why the 'L'? Why all caps except that one 'e' and the 'u's? Why does the piped lettering look like it's been acid-washed?

3. This one just tickles me. Heheh. The Google says Saint David is the patron saint of Wales. Shucks!

4. Apparently, "Best." is a sentence all by itself.

5. That is the cake made for the winner of the First Annual 4th of July Bobbing for Fireworks competition. Unfortunately, someone forgot to post that 'No Smoking' sign. They had to present the cake to the winner at the ER, but he was unable to enjoy it, what with the Piccolo Pete stuck in his teeth still going off.

6. Ow. I was going to say something clever about Yoda there, but really, even alien puppets have a stronger grasp of the English language than that.

7. Oh, Marshall! You shouldn't have! No. Really. Slice it?! Why, I can't imagine slicing that up and EATING it! I'm just going to....display it here...*murmuring to self* ...until you leave and I can throw it away. Far, far away.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

St David is the patron saint of Wales. This doesn't include garbled explicit punctuation, of course. FYI, in Wales, as in other parts of Britain, the . after "St" is not required.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephen

I stared in utter horror at Marshill's colon. That's just not appetizing in any form or function. Eck.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Long-time lurker (and enjoyer of Sharyn's song parodies - another great one, Sharyn), first time poster!
As a Welsh lady, I just had to post a comment and say that St. David is the patron saint of Wales. We have a celebration called an Eisteddfod on March 1st, which involves lots of costumes, dancing and singing. I'm not sure where far-too-literally-decorated cookies come into it, mind you. Maybe I need another history lesson.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSophie

St David is the patron saint of Wales, in welsh he is called Dewi Sant. My husband is from Britains smallest city St Davids were he built his monastery and was a Bishop. His feast day is March 1st and it's Wales national day, we eat welsh cakes, cawl and have parades and children wear national costume to school.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiddleymaz

That last cake just made my jaw drop to the floor. It's celebrating . . . intestinal gas??

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

My favorite is St Period David Day. The baker had to write that one two times and STILL came up with that!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Perhaps the Bob cake was served at a Patriotic Halloween party after the traditional bobbing for apples? The cake could've made the kids feel a little better even if they didn't get an apple..

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Does the first one actually say "Congratutations? seems like spelling is a bigger issue than the punctuation

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrank

St David - or Daffyd, or in Welsh "Dewi Sant," either of which would send Wreckerators into ecstasies of misused icing - is the patron saint of Wales. He is believed to have lived in the 6th century and is also the patron saint of vegetarians and poets. (Nothing in there about cake, or decorating.) See

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

The Welsh first name Dafydd is spelt one f and two ds this is because it's in Cymraeg, and it's pronounced as if it was spelt Davith in English ,it's our eldest sons first name

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiddleymazi

The dramatic reading of the cake for Greg MUST Be Performed! By... William... Shatner!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I can picture Toki Wartooth buying a "Thanks you, Good Lucks, Gregs" cake.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Well I don't blame Marshall's colon for being so gassy, It's just one huge tapeworm!

Jessica recently posted, I Should Probably Close The Door While I Pee

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

All I have to say about the colon cake is 0_o. Oh, and to satisfy your curiosity about St. David, he's the patron saint of Wales (so why is the frosting blue and white, which are the colors of Scotland's flag? Their patron saint is St. Andrew, and his day is in late November)

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Once you go Bob, you can never go back.

I'm actually afraid to wonder what that might mean and even why I typed it. These cakes were great. Except the last one. There's really no excuse for that. LOL

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I wish we could "like" or otherwise give props to the comments. They are often hilarious, and I enjoy them as much as the posts.

Good job everyone! Way to Bob!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

What is that pink thing on the end of the last cake? Is it a flower pot? It could be Audrey III from Little Shop of Horrors. A mean, tan mother from outer space and it's mad!

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrasstax

It's completely clear to me: Michelle is wishes to be best. Her paramecium thought wiggles past to the left as eight bleeding hearts wait to find out... (Or maybe I've been watching the conclusion of too many reality shows lately.)

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

<Snicker> That is all.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLis

If I were Michelle, I would be more concerned at the decorations clearly designed by Dexter than the bizarre ellipsis. Well done Sharyn, I think you are the winner of today's posts, unfortunately your prize is ....

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichele

Who thinks "let's give him a colon cake?". It makes me wonder if anyone ate it. I'm not sure I could be so brave.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Yep, as everyone has pointed out, St David is patron saint of Wales, the home of such delightful place names such as Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. I don't think he has periods anymore though, he's probably post-menoclausal.

September 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlq

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