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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan232013

A Minor Oversight

Your first mistake, my dear Wreckies, was in being so positive and supportive of yesterday's post that some of you even asked to see some of the posts John *won't* let me publish.

So again, in my defense: you asked for it. 

Here's one that's been languishing in my drafts folder for nearly a year, and it still makes me snort-giggle - but I can guarantee there is NO WAY you all will find it as amusing as I do. You just won't. Trust me. You'll think it's cute and adorable and I'm a terrible person for laughing.

Or you'll laugh, too, and then we can nod knowingly at each other from across crowded rooms, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm a terrible person, too. S'all good."

 

 

A Minor Oversight:

Sadly, God neglected to add air holes.

 

 

Thanks to Anony M., the first newly inducted member of the Terrible Person Club.

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Reader Comments (223)

I am also a Terrible Person. It's hereditary. To wit, when my folks moved to a new house about a decade ago, Dad put a body basket ( left from his father's funeral home business) out by the road so friends would know which house was theirs.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJanna

Add me to the list of terrible people who found this hilarious.

One of my favorites, actually.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I call to order the first meeting of the Terrible Persons Club. The first item on our agenda is deciphering the cake. It says, "1nd meeting of teh Teepee see. With Sprinkless!"

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Terrible people of the world, untie!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

The first thing I thought was some dropped a bag of something on that baby!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAvis

Nods knowingly too!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPam

I will join those who nod knowingly, but in my own corner, for I didn't snort-giggle.

No, no, I full-out laughed. I laughed so hard I startled ALL THREE cats.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTimba

Even if this baby managed to break out of the package before she suffocated, she's likely to choke on that teddy bear the size of her foot.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

@SaraV and zoomom:

Who's the leader of the club that chuckles guiltily?
That would be J-E-N Y-A-T-S-E*

*Sorry, Jen, I had to take some liberties with spelling your name, to make it fit the song better...

I think the member sign should be a cake-slicing motion, paired with a look of utter revulsion.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Daaaang this line is long. *tapping foot* Where did all you Terrible People come from???

Doesn't matter..I'm in good company! :) I needed the laugh today more than you all will ever know. Thank you for allowing me to join the ranks.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

Haiku Joy, I did not even notice the cheetah crocs til you mentioned it. Now I can't stop starting at them. While it was cute, I'm kind of agreeing with akathleen. And Jennifer's comment made me laugh. I'm lining up behind everyone else. S'all good.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Grin

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Yup -- I'm a terrible person too!!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I immediately thought, "if you pick up this gift, the baby is just going to fall out the bottom, since apparently it's already kicked through the packaging..."

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterginny

I was chuckling quietly until I read @Tom's post above about the "sucked in " look of the bag and the need for a toe tag. THEN I guffawed. He's absolutely right--the blanket/bag IS a bit close . . .
I do like the little pink toes and wonder when they'll turn blue.
Oh great, now you've all made ME a Terrible Person also. Thanks, guys.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

HAH!

I was totally thinking 'OMG where's the HEID'? and then I read 'airholes'. And THEN I read 'dropped-bag-of-something-heavy'.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Jen, isn't it great to know that your blog is read by so many Terrible People?
(I'm one to, BTW. That was so funny!)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie T.

*proudly pulls on her "TPC" t-shirt* *snort, giggle, snort*

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScout

Um. :-/
Sorry, I'm just not getting the joke.
Maybe I haven't had enough coffee yet...be back later.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMC

I am also a terrible person!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany R

And how exactly are we "horrible people" for laughing at this? We've sure laughed at far worse thoughts here.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

What if we're not terrible, and everyone else is?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonanon

Very excited to join the group in the bunker...
Except my first thought was, "Boy, you pick up that bag and that baby's goin' straight to the floor."

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jen

I looked into the mirror...and a terrible person looked back.....

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Pure win. Love it!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKellyH

Wondering where the air holes are doesn't make you a terrible person. It makes you an awesome person! Or maybe I'm a terrible person too.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

(waving frantically from the back of the TPC meeting room) Ooh, ooh, ooh, I have a question. Just what is John's problem, anyway? This post was obviously a masterpiece, so why didn't he want it posted???

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKay W

I'm with akathleen. I took it to a worse place and figured it was a headless baby. You are merely mildly disturbed. I, apparently, am a truly terrible person.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Thanks, I so needed that laugh today!

Hi, my name is Marilyn and I too am a terrible person.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

Terrible person number 11,714 checking in. Nice to know I have a crowd who I could hang out with.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

1, I think I would rather slice into a fully viable baby cake, that way I can choose the least horrid place to start first like....well...um....barf, nevermind that logic but I would be afraid of the bag moving or screaming upon first slice.....2, those feet are HUGE!! I'm glad that God did not give me gifts of that size and proportion! 3, which brings all of us members of the "TPC" to the final conclusion that not only was this gift perishable but it's clear that it's past it's best by date as it is starting to bloat!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I, too, am a Terrible Person. A really, really Terrible Person... I did a spit-take with my lunch!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessieH

Not a nod.. but the reverse nod, as in when people just tip their head up once in greeting..

One has to be cool when you're trying not to be a terrible person.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I'm not doing the "Terrible Persons Anonymous" thing. Seriously, it's not a problem. I can stop being terrible any time I want to. I just don't want to right now.

Hasn't the decorator ever seen "This bag is not a toy. Risk of suffocation. Keep away from children and pets" that's plastered all over everything?

*gigglesnort*

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeacora

It's a baby. In a sack.
This made me laugh. The feet are adorable, but... It's a baby stuffed in a sack. XD

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

I must be a terrible person of a different type - my first thought was "Oh no, God dropped the gift on the baby!" ;-)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Jen, I'd say you've got yourself quite a bit of company in the Terrible Person Club. Now, scootch over and make room for one more! I've always thought we should be friends - this just confirms it. Giggling over the lack of airholes in a baby cake...what better way to cement a friendship. Is there a cake for that? There should be.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Oh no!! I think I just got labeled as The WORST and MOST terrible person....lol...re-read my other post...meant to say....fully visable NOT viable....bwahahaha.....stupid auto-correct!! LOL

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Add me to the Terrible People

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkattastic

Ha! the first thing i noticed was the lack of air holes!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Very nicely executed (heh, thanks, @Craig), but unless that baby is decended from Beetlejuice or the Headless Horseman, there is no way that is a complete baby.

Oh, great. Now I'm imagining there's a tag on the back that reads: "Head sold separately".

I need a meeting. *joins queue for the TPG*

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Those of you postulating that the feet are out of proportion: No. If that baby had a head, it would be giant. Then, it would look just like my son when he was born. Giant head and feet. He's now 6 feet tall (1.83 meters [is that how the rest of the world measures height? I've quite forgotten.]) and the rest of his body has long since caught up to his head and feet.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I would just like to add that reading this comment thread was really the head on the cake for me. Totally made my day. Why is there no option to "like" these comments?! I feel so handicapped. Not handicapped like when you were given to your parents in a bag with your cold feet hanging out, though, so I guess I could feel worse.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLee

Count me in with the "horrible, terrible person for laughing at this" crowd, then.

More posts like this, please!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

Hey, why are WE terrible people? WE are not the ones who forgot the air holes!!!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKidnme

I think Regretsy has found the perfect cupcake toppers to go with this cake! http://www.regretsy.com/2013/01/23/please-dont-eat-the-babies-2/

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLizzyBean

The technical term is "Snortle", and all I could think was, "Why aren't those pwefuth widdle tootsies cyanotic blue?"; which sent my mind off in ALL MANNER of "interesting" directions...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I am such a horrible person, I could not stop laughing :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElena

@Kay W: Because john (thoJ) has to deal with the hate mail. Some of the most innocuous posts have resulted in utter "brown frosting analog" storms. I'm sure, somewhere on Planet Earth, they're being burned in effigy by the "Big Footed Bagged Baby" Club.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The pink cover over the baby looks like it could be a blanket to me -- a breathable blanket with a bow on it.

This isn't that funny or wreck, to me. It's just a cute cake.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVeruca Salt

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