My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Minor Oversight

Your first mistake, my dear Wreckies, was in being so positive and supportive of yesterday's post that some of you even asked to see some of the posts John *won't* let me publish.

So again, in my defense: you asked for it. 

Here's one that's been languishing in my drafts folder for nearly a year, and it still makes me snort-giggle - but I can guarantee there is NO WAY you all will find it as amusing as I do. You just won't. Trust me. You'll think it's cute and adorable and I'm a terrible person for laughing.

Or you'll laugh, too, and then we can nod knowingly at each other from across crowded rooms, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm a terrible person, too. S'all good."



A Minor Oversight:

Sadly, God neglected to add air holes.



Thanks to Anony M., the first newly inducted member of the Terrible Person Club.

« Bazinga! | Main | A Team Effort »

Reader Comments (223)

@jackwire ~ bwahahahaha
@Sharyn ~ You, Ma'am, are simply amazing.
@Craig ~ Looks like things are getting a little crowded. Glad Theardare is getting with the program on the whole mustache thing. Not that I "get" the whole mustache thing but I'm glad he's on board. :D

I'll be in the back of the TPC line. I hope there are still t-shirts available!

@mindy1 ~ Now I want to order a George!!!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Hello My name is Heather and I am a terrible person too. So I've always let my freak flag fly ad my nerd/geek flag fly now I guess i need to add a terrible person flag as well...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertiedyegal

Alas, this time I'm the party pooper, or something. If the fondant cover is supposed to represent a bit of cloth, how hard is it to breath under it? My dad used to sleep with his head covered and the cover tucked well all around. It's just a piece of cloth, not a jar for catching spiders, it's not air-tight.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

I have been following your blog since the very beginning, but this is the first time I've posted a reply to anything. I just wanted to say that I found this hilarious, and not just because of what you wrote. When I first saw the cake, a saw a large present that had fallen from the sky like a house and crushed the baby like a tiny Wicked Witch of the East. Yeah, I think my misinterpretation was just slightly darker than yours. :p

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

Off topic:

@Shout4Joy: My apologies. It appears you were the first to mention how well this baby was executed. : )

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

*nods in between snorts and sputters*

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterktfisk

Gee. I know I'm an unfashionable person (I wear my socks & Crocs proudly, and my other choice of footwear are flipflops).

But all I thought was, "Cool. Kid already knows how to avoid the Bugbladder Beasts of Traal and Bogeymen."

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Absolutely nodding from across the room.... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. S'ALL good

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

@Andrea-They recently found a bag full of heads at O'Hare airport. Maybe they belong to a bunch of headless bagged babies that were misdirected to a different part of the country.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

OH, LizzyBean: I just went to the cupcake toppers on Regretsy. This bagged baby would be better off with an abandoned airport head.
Sorry. I meant to say, "this gently covered with a light, mesh-like baby blanket baby would be better off with an abandoned airport head.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Apropos a couple of previous comments,I found this reference: "... complete with wicker hand-baskets that were used prior to body bags to transport the remains. This was the source of the term 'going to hell in a hand-basket.'"

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

All I see though is something heavy wrapped up in pink that had been dropped on the baby cartoon anvil style! LOL

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

While not having air holes is funny, what really struck me is that the bag has no bottom on it. If someone were to lift that baby in the bag, the baby would just fall out.

Hi, I'm a Terrrible Person. I'll be nodding knowingly at each of you from my little table over here...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

The blanket!
The bows!!
The teddy bear!
The toes!!
.....all ruined by the sight of a blue baby underneath.

Thanks, Jen!

(giiggle, giggle, SNORT!)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstacy

Another new member of the Terrible Persons Club, reporting for meetings, SIR!

If this is a baby sitting up, then it must be quite slumped over. But then again, if it has suffocated due to lack of oxygen, then yes, slumping would be appropriate.

@Janna: I want to meet you. And party with your family. Your dad is one twisted guy. I love it!

@Andrea: My son's feet were twice this long when he was born. His head wasn't so giant, but he was always tall and skinny. He, too, now is 6 feet tall and has grown into his size 11-12 feet, mostly. And he weighs about 140 pounds, so still skinny, too. He hates it now -- but he'll love it when he's 40!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Jodee, if I were -- with great trepidation, mind -- to ask the computer to de-assert normal probability, I'm sure as many additional rooms as might be needed could be added to The Bunker resort & spa. I have no way to know what other changes might accompany, however...

As for 'the mustache thing', @Andrea reported that someone had drawn mustaches on all the statues, figurines, sculptures (starting to sound like Thesaurus Club, here), plushies, etc of him in the atrium. T figured the best way was just to roll with it. Or else he's working on a disguise. Maybe both.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Imagine a PanWow announcer voice

Do you see a headless baby when you look at today's submission? Are the feet disproportionate to the rest of the "body?" Do you feel sad for the poor cake baby with no arches whatsoever? (Honestly, I really did notice that!) Do you giggle/chortle/snort/spew-a-hot-beverage-through-your-nostrils when viewing CakeWrecks?

Well, then you might be a TERRIBLE PERSON! Join the Terrible Person Club, and you will receive the following:

Admission to the Epcot Bunker, a complimentary Theardare backscratcher, Extra Sprinkles, and the class Introduction to Snark 101. All yours if you are a terrible person. Join Now!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

I can't stop laughing. I am definitely in the terrible person club.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

At first I was all HAHAHAHAHA, and then I was like "That's actually a really cute cake"

yes reverse order than usual

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

I love it; that makes me terrible, right?

Based on the size of the feet, my first thought was - "Wait, it doesn't have a *head*.."

Headless babies don't need airholes. For all I know, headless babies may breathe through the soles of their feet, which would explain why this one is not wearing its shoes.

Even if the pink thing is a blanket, there's still no room for a head under there.

Well made, certainly, but perhaps not all that well thought out.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Is this like those Bed in a Bag sets....Baby in a Bag?!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJen


January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJesscake11

OMG! That's the funniest thing ever!!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

God also forgot to close the bottom of the bag... I foresee a messy delivery.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKellie

You're a better person than I am. I thought it was the Muppet Babies version of the Wizard of Oz. "She's just mad because someone dropped a diaper bag on her sister. Now, you follow the baby tin man..."

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPaloma

Umm... guilty. LoL
You strike me as someone who would love Cards Against Humanity...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelzy

All right... who squished the baby?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNicki

Going right to heck with the rest of the giggling Terribles.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBean

As cute as it is and eveyone sees the oversight; I can't help but remember in every cartoon and drawing of the stork bringing a bundle of joy, you never saw the baby inside. I don't think it's all that bad at all.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCharlene

God forgot a head, too!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteramy

Laughted so hard, then saw SuBee comment that "it didn't say a living gift from God" and started laughing all over again, I vote to see more of these said 'not amusing posts'

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterELoros

What was our second mistake?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCyberjar88

You saw a lack of air holes and think that makes you a terrible person... Me, I saw a headless baby...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTerrible Carol

When I saw this, I was looking for the Wal-Mart logo on the bag, along with the words, "Do not let children play with this bag. This bag is NOT a toy!"

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStarkie

Haha, I was thinking it before I read the comment. Apparently I'm a horrible person too :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I am a terrible person. My first thought was that it was an ill-aimed gift for the baby, and I honestly can't say which fate is worse...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhapamama

Oh my dear sweet god XD! I think the cake is actually very cute but after reading that caption I couldn't stop laughing.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Nice to know we are all terrible people. That is hysterical!!! LOL LOL

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJean

Haiku Joy- the first thing that I noticed, and was disturbed by, were those shoes!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSimply Shannon


January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

You're missing the obvious: headless babies don't NEED air holes.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLysa

@Tom: I was thinking the same thing about the toe tag. And the way the blanket is draped almost makes it look like it's at the morgue...
(Nodding knowingly to Jen) You are most certainly not alone. Glad to be in a club with you. :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

Oh, add me to the terrible person club.
But at least, cutting this cake wouldn't be
as traumatic!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMoonflwr913

I thought the kkk cupcakes were one of those things you weren't allowed to publish? This one's pretty good too.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersparkling74

*waiting in the line to join the TPC*

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGuest

Are you still accepting new members, because I laughed all the way down the page and through the comments! My first thought was that the baby didn't have a head but no air holes is almost as bad.

ShelbyG, I too learned to laugh at strange events/occasions/things by listening to Tom Lehrer.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersamatwitch

*sigh* And here I am, the newest member of the "I Am a Terrible Person Club" (IATPC for short)...

*looks around* Man, this bunker is getting kind of crowded...

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

Glad that sack isn't burlap.
(did I really say that? I think this makes me pretty terrible. )

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

Ok, here's the "Secret Greeting" for when we see each other in crowded... erm... actually, I don't know where we would actually bump into each other casually, but anyway...

First: wink
Then: Nod, chin rising, as in Sheldon's "S'Up" greeting to Leonard
Optional: Double Finger Guns with "chk chk" noise (or, if you prefer, Finger Lasers with girly "Pew Pew" noise)

Got that? Awesome sauce. :D

Carmiehead, the Un-Stalker

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarmiehead, the Un-Stalker

I laughed so hard at this post that my roomie came down the hall to see what was going on; she also promptly laughed I guess we both are terrible people.
*gives knowing nod* :)

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

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