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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Wedding Dead End

Halloween is the perfect time to dig up some creepy-but-elegant wedding cake designs, don't you think?

Like this bony beauty:

Creeeeepy. But elegant!


Careful, though; in the wrong hands, a design like this could easily deteriorate into a truly grave situation:



Oh, hang on; it's missing the flowers!



Thanks to Kayleigh P. for the remains of the day.

« You Want Vagina Cakes? I'LL GIVE YOU VAGINA CAKES. | Main | Back Off, Man. I'm A BAKER. »

Reader Comments (47)

Well the flowers make all the difference. Clearly.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

For a second, I really thought the second cake was decorated with pretzels!!!!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertlca

Needs more flowers...

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Really, bakers. If you are going to use an airbrush, you need to learn how. Those look like a coal miner sneezed on them.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Well, I think they were headed in the right direction...
But they killed it with the flowers. And the airbrushing. And the icing application. And the border.

Aw heck, it's just gross.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Bwah zoomom, so true!

Why do the pearls on the wreck have nipples on them??!! At least the flowers cover up some of the wreck. The top layer is even frosted badly, let alone the coal miner sneezes.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Cheese and rice! At least take it off the cardboard circle and put it on a covered board.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCC

At least there are no glow sticks crammed in them, or maybe that would actually have been appropriate in this case . . .

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Again: fondant vs. buttercream.

There once was a bride who liked creepy
She wanted her cake to be "screamy"
But elegant too;
Said the baker "WIll do!"
The result, though, made everyone weepy.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

To the tune “Food, Glorious Food,” from the musical “Oliver,” and with apologies to everyone connected with it…..

Skulls, Glorious Skulls

Is it worth the waiting for,
If we live to eighty-four?
All we ever want is skulls,
Went to the baker, said our prayers,
Will he put the flowers there?
Still we get the same old wreck
(But we keep trying, what the heck)
Can we find can we beg can we borrow or cadge,
But there’s nothing to stop us from getting a thrill,
When we both close our eyes and imagine,

Skulls, glorious skulls
We could look at ‘em for hours,
While we’re in the mood, let’s add some flowers,
And some nicely piped edging,
What next is the question?
Can’t wait to see the guests’
Facial expression!

Skulls, glorious skulls,
We’re gonna have ‘em,
Three layers high!
Our wedding cake, try it!

Just picture a great big cake,
Covered with frosting
Of skulls,
Wonderful skulls,
Marvelous skulls,
Glorious skulls!

Skulls, glorious skulls,
What is there more handsome
When on a wedding cake?
We’ll pay a king’s ransom.
It’s all we ever dreamed about
For this our special day,
Piled skulls and flowers… three layers high!

Skulls, glorious skulls,
“Twill be right on the menu,
Just loosen your belt
Two inches and then you
Work up a new appetite
In this interlude.

The skulls,
Once again skulls,
Fabulous skulls,
Glorious skulls

Skulls, glorious skulls,
That’s not what these look like!
“Tis not what they look like!
Looking at this makes us sad,
Our senses go reeling,
This wreck is making us mad,
Angry feeling!

Skulls, glorious skulls,
What wouldn’t we give for
Just what we wanted,
That’s all that we ask for.
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood
On skulls,
Poorly done skulls,
Terrible skulls,
Horrible skulls,
God-awful skulls,
These Cake Wreck skulls?
These Cake Wreck skulls!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

I don't think a greenhouse full of flowers could salvage that wreck. Yikes!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

Not that it matters in the grand wreck-scheme... but the tiers aren't even centered!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterH.C.

The first cake is lovely. Note the original base icing (whether it is buttercream or fondant) is solid black, and the skulls are white. The wrecks are the opposite-- a white buttercream base with black airbrushing and messy stenciling.

Black fondant is expensive. The amount of black food coloring to get that deep uniform shade of black was probably too costly for the wreckerators, so they cut corners and it shows.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenniferC

"Remains of the day"... Heh... HehHEHheh... Heh...

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I don't see the problem here. I mean, they are both black and white cakes.
**putting glasses back on**
Holy HELL!
Well, umm.. somebody should get that coal miner a tissue.
LOL @zoomom

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@Just Andrea ~ Great big hugs and lots of prayers to you and your family.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I suppose the original is "well-executed", but I still would NEVER think it was an okay wedding cake. But the wreck--oh my. "Coal Miner Sneeze" is spot on. And also a good punk band name.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Ok, I would just stop at "creepy" for the original. Nothing wrong with that though. Properly done creepy is cool.

The wreck goes into "terrifying" category. Terrifying is never cool, when you're talking about cake.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDelphine

Bahahaha@zoomom and mel :D. Those people dare call themselves professionals >:(. What's going on with andrea? Is she ok?? :(

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I just outed myself at a meeting by snorting really loudly and completely inappropriately. Thanks, Cakewrecks!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Cake or death or both?
You can have it all with this:
Memento mori.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

zoomom: I laughed so hard I choked and started coughing.

Good grief, they even put the wrong kind of flowers on the second cake. I'd have given them credit just for getting that right at least.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterE. Anne


Comfy Chair option
and Spring Frog Surprise feature
Come at added cost...

(Yes, I know the original quote isn't Monty Python, but it's FUNNY, DAMMIT).

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@FM: The others were just jealous that someone was actually enjoying the meeting. Share with them next time--they'll probably love ya for it.
@mel: That will be in my head all night, likely. Awesomeness!!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Cake? Or Death? Love that skit! Thanks, @HaikuJoy

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

To be fair, It looks like another case of "let's make this fondant cake with butter cream!" disaster.

But jeepers, a few you tube classes does not a decorator make. It's hard to get buttercream smooth, agreed, but a little practice and you can manage it better than that! Mine is smoother than that, and I don't charge for my cakes other than materials.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Julie - it's not your wedding, you don't get a say in whether or not the cake is "okay." Let go of your pearls.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStumpp Beefgnaw

Hilarious comments, and Mel, that's a real gift you've got there. What irritates me is comparing a professional fondant cake to a buttercream cake. I'd love the back story on this one. Did the bride take a photo of the fondant skull cake to a home baker and ask it to be done in buttercream instead, and to reverse the black to white (because who wants to eat black fondant/icing)? You have to be pretty darned good to get the fondant effect with buttercream. Not that any of it excuses the crap job on the second cake.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdottiepark

This looks like a clear case of.... it's just cake.... How hard can it be ?

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendy LaLa

Coal miner sneeze, lol!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLesliM

@zoomom -- LOL

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Please for the love of God don't copy a fondant cake with buttercream - it just doesn't work! Can't you see us laughing at you?

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

@zoomom: lol...a tip of the ol' canary to you! well done, well done!
@mindy1and sendingtheclowns: thanks....but I could take a lesson from zoomom on brevity....
@Just Andrea: my sympathy to you and your family; keeping everyone in my prayers and sending hugs to all.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

mindy1: Just Andrea's father-in-law died yesterday. She posted on it late in the comments.

More hugs to you, Just Andrea, BTW.

@mel: That was glorious! Re you pinch hitting for Sharyn?

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

my only issues with cake #2 is it's not properly smoothed- I actually like it otherwise.
cake #1 is gorgeous, however. the skulls look almost like little x-rays and there's an elegance to the detail in them. (dreamy sigh)
(yes, I mean it)

mel, zoomom, Haiku Joy- bravo and two bravas!!

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Buttercream can't be as smooth as fondant? Decent airbrushing on buttercream can't be done? Yea, I'm gonna call bullsh*t on both of those and hope the "you can't pay for buttercream and expect a cake as pretty as fondaaaaaaaaaaaant" epcotters finally shut the h*ll up.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ

Totally missed the part about Andrea's father-in-law. That's awful. I'm sorry to hear he's gone.

OK, on second viewing, is it just me, or does the airbrushing on #2 look more like there's mold growing on teh cake?

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterE. Anne

So perhaps this wasn't a good cake to take from fondant to buttercream. All I know is that at some point the customer probably said "Can you make this cake in buttercream instead?" and the wreckerator evidently replied "Yes". Liars.

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

@dottiepark -- thanks...I have fun playing here...
@TLC -- glad you enjoyed it (and nice word play there...) could never pinch-hit for Sharyn...she is the undisputed master...she's consistently fast and funny, day after day after day.....I just plod along rather periodically....and where is she...? hope she's OK....

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

does that mean that if the wedding (cake) is a nightmare, the marriage will be a dream?

October 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

The second cake is actually pretty good, if...IF, it was supposed to be 'The Misfits" and not skulls..if it was supposed to be skulls, crap.

As for a Misfits punk cake, it rocks. I'd totally pay for that.

October 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJyjon

Wow lol. Maybe they intended for the skulls to be daisies instead and hoped no one would notice..just my weird thoughts on the matter hehe.

October 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@zoomom: Well done! That was the very definition of what my drag queens call "reading someone for filth". ;)

Sad Skull/Coal Miner Sneeze Cake makes me sad. It looks like it's haunted by its own ingredients, begging to be released from their terrible cakey torment.

Your Pal,


October 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

@Just Andrea - So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing here and allowing us all to share your burden. Don't feel bad about bringing your sadness to this happy place; Jen and John have allowed us to create a community here and that is part of what a community is about.

October 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@Just Andrea - We too am sorry for your loss and send my thoughts and prayers to you. As zoomom said, "Don't feel bad about bringing your sadness...", remember that a sorrow shared is supposedly halved, and with everyone here at CakeWrecks, I'm sure we would all halve your sorrow into nothingness, if it were possible.

Deepest Sympathy,

KarateLady, KarateLady's Daughter, and family

October 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarate Lady

The second one reminds me of that scene in Beetlejuice where they go by the room of the exorcised spirits. "Death for the dead"

October 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

This was posted TWO DAYS before my wedding....and my husband and I actually took a picture of the top cake to our baker since we loved it so much and wanted one for ourselves.

Fortunately, my baker was honest with us and informed us that he did not own an airbrush and airbrushing on the tye of buttercream he uses would probably look terrible (neither of us wanted to pay extra for fondant just so we could have the cake airbrushed; it wasn't that important to us). I am SO GLAD I had an awesome baker who admitted to prospective clients that there were things he could not do, but offered up a different solution and produced an amazing cake.

Just thought this was a bit ironic, given how close it was to our own wedding!

April 4, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

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