Hanukkah started on Thanksgiving this year, and yet somehow bakers didn't leap at the opportunity for a yarmulke-topped turkey cake. You have to admire that kind of restraint.
Then again, we all know bakers really only have one go-to Hanukkah design:
Blue and white snowflakes.
It's the kind of design that says, "Hey, I can dig your Jewish Christmas thing, but I prefer to express it in a generic, non-committal way that even those crazy Winter Solstice people might buy."
"Plus I get to make more of my special Halloween spider webs."
And just like real snowflakes, every Generic "Hanukkah"(winkwinknudgenudge) design is completely unique.
Like fingerprints. Or hairballs.
Are you feeling the warm glow of the season yet?
How 'bout now?
Hang on, I have an idea: how do you feel about adding a little extra fiber in your diet?
No, really, there's cake in there. PROOOOMISE.
(Supposedly that's edible paper, not a rain slicker. But I'm not buying it.)
Ok, ok, what would you say if I told you I actually found a cake with both "Happy Hanukkah" and a Star of David on it - and nothing's wonky or misspelled?
You: "It's on plastic, isn't it?"
Me: "Yes. Yes, it is."
And on everyone's favorite traditional Jewish dessert, too!
Oooh, wait, it appears one brave soul actually did attempt to pipe a Star of David!
6,000 years of cultural heritage just went, "BOINK."
But at least it has the right number of sides.
[Foreshadowing? What's that?]
TALK ABOUT MISSING THE POINT.
Thanks to Ami E., Sarah B., Nicole M., Sandy H., Saundra, Rebecca S., Lena C., True B., & Amy K., who are all special snowflakes in my heart. My icy, icy heart.