My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

My Naughty Valentine

NOTE: Mildly suggestive humor ahead - so get your kids to explain it if you have any trouble.

NOTE THE SECOND: I'M KIDDING. Clear the area of innocents!



Valentines' day is a celebration of love, and of the people we love, and of the many acts of love that we all...

Oh, look, a ding-dong!

No, no, YOU rock MY world, baby. Mrowr.


I remember a psychology course back in college where they talked a lot about interpreting things like keys and swords and Owen Wilson' nose, but I have to confess I never thought much of it 'til I saw these:


 Think it's an Everlast?

 (No, I will never stop with the Men In Tights jokes. SORRY.)


Here's a tip: I'm pretty sure swords don't NEED that much of a point:


Or at least not one shaped like that, anyway.


And in case you're starting to feel like these cakes are all thrust and no parry:

 Donut worry: My lips are sealed.


I'm pretty sure you won't need Freud's help to spot this classic slip-up:

 Talk is cheap, dude. Lemme see your guitar.


You know the saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince?" I only ask because reasons.


"Hey, bebeh, wanna go back to my pad? It's kind of chilly in here."

 (Not a word on the necklace. NOT A WORD.)


Of course, if you don't want to go for subtle, there's always the blatantly inappropriate approach:

 The longer you think about what demographic this cake was made for, the more uncomfortable it gets. (To say nothing of the fact that Barbie has no lower body, and her hair is getting in the icing. Ick.)


Well, whichever option you choose, I sincerely hope that you and your loved ones:

And hey, I mean that - from the bottom of my heart.

Thanks to Mindy B., Kelly G., Jeanne T., Jennifer R., Erica L., Dion H., Katie G., & Chris P. for putting the "wow" in "bow chikka WOW WOW."

« Reading Between The Wrecks | Main | It's Not Fat, It's Fluffy »

Reader Comments (61)

With that sword cake, I'm seeing a rather phallic light saber (well, more phallic than usual.)

February 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

@Celidah ~ I seriously can't stop laughing

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Jlynn, looking forward to hearing about your trip. I bet there won't be a single wreck there. Best wishes to your son.

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Cannot stop laughing.. I just KNEW there would be another VD cake lol. Oh man do they ever figure out how wrong that is? Apparently not and I hope they never do because what would I do for a laugh if they stopped wrecking valentine cakes?

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Boy! Miss a day, and everything turns into a pile of chocolate frosting. Okay, I had a talk with Eddie 2.0, and everything is back to what we laughingly call 'normal'. E2 even somehow contrived to fix the broken statue, and there is a new plaque in the Hall of Fame.

From the atrium, doors lead to two chambers, called 'ventricles', and... no, wait, that's something completely different. (Cue 'Liberty Bell' march.)

Start again. From the atrium, Andrea's password-operated door leads to the original bunker, while a normal, manually-operated door leads to The Bunker resort and spa, home of 4-1/3 star service. (That last 2/3 star is just out of reach, for some reason -- may have something to do with elevators that are in need of therapy and a complaint desk that never stops complaining.)

But I digress. The salient point is that there are no more beads, feathers, or vertigo-inducing color schemes. The latest changes also seem to have rescaled Giant Purple Baby back to 'trinket' size, much the same way Gossamer (or 'Rudolph') was shrunk in 'Water, Water, Every Hare'.

*No one* must mention Easter to E2, or giving a shout out to the Peeps could take on a whole new meaning. Though the prospect of a statue of Theardare, rendered in marshmallow and dusted with yellow sugar, does have a certain charm...

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Never, EVER apologize for "Men in Tights" jokes! It's one of our standards around here. Although we do get strange looks when we say "Blinken, fix your boobs! You look like a bleedin' Picasso!" in public... :-D

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

@KarateLady: We are now 'N Sync....or something.

@Craig (regarding the slippers) "...the main problem is the way they are pointing"!! Haha!

@Celidah: lol : - )

To everyone from Barbie: "Once you have a woman with no legs, you never go back, baby."

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Craig - Thank you! I think I will go visit the Bunker Spa for a well-deserved soak in the whirlpool followed by a full body massage. Hmmm...any chance David Tennant is available? No? Perhaps the Doctor with the fez, then...

@Andrea - giggle-snort...<grin>

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Alas, my 1st thought when I saw Barbie was how her hair would get in frosting. I feel so dull!

February 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I think some of those cakes need to have their tips nipped! *Slices carrot*

February 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSvetlana

i could barely scroll through this post-my eyes arefilled with laughter tears. Simpy hilarious!

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjennifer turner

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