Texas Cowboy Poetry

You guys, this weekend is the 27th annual Texas Cowboy Poetry Gathering! 

Naturally, I had to get in on this action.

[adjusting beret]

Ahem.

Hat, Spur, Cactus, 

Star, Shoe, Cactus

 

My boot is too long in the toe

Ow

Bunions

[fade out]

******

If you ever see a shoot-out one day

Here's a tip for surviving the fray:

Though terribly brave

It's best not to wave

 

Something I learned the hard way.

 *******

Let go, Rodeo.

With your leather-creaking Ugg boots of brown,

With your ghostly black-eyed heads floating down

With your taffy-bodied squashed creepy clown

Let go, rodeo.

LET GO.

******

Texas is a state full of dairies

And Texans sure love Ben & Jerry's

But you know what else sells?

Edible shot gun shells

 

Especially when mixed with strawberries.

[UPDATE: I'm sorry, guys. I just couldn't find a way to make "Blue Bell" rhyme with "strawberries." ;)]

*******

The best kind of horse

Is the one freely given

That wasn't half off

******

 

As a cowboy I was born in the saddle

And walking was the real battle 

I prefer riding, of course

But there's something wrong with my horse...

 

 So I guess I'll just have to waddle. 

[jazz hands!!]

Thanks to Amy, Brittany C., Nick G., Rebecca S., Anony M., Kaitlin K., Jennifer F., Kara H., & Gina T. for not giving me a hard time about rhyming "waddle" with "saddle." UNLIKE SOME HUSBANDS.