My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Memorial Pride

If tomorrow all the cakes were gone
I'd posted on this blog
And I had to start again
With just this patriotic dog:

I’d thank my lucky stars,


to be livin' here today.


‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,

and they can’t take that awaaaaay.


And I’m proud to be an American,

where we're free to be wrecky!

And I wont forget the ones who died,

who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand UP,
next to you and defend her still today!


'Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this laaaand,


God bless the U-S-A!




Thanks to Holly F., Dara M., Michael H., Claire Marie, Carolann K., Erica B., Kelley B., Pam L., & Rachel P. for the reminder.


*For you pesky optimists suggesting that the USU cookie cake stands for something else: it was found at a big box store alongside other patriotic cakes two days before Memorial Day, 2011. So... yeah, no. -john (thoJ)

« Spit Take | Main | Sunday Sweets: A Memorial Day Salute »

Reader Comments (76)

I think my favorite is the patriotic jellyfish.

(How many other people counted the stars on the second cake? Twice?)

Happy Memorial Day, Everyone!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The USU one might actually be for Uniformed Services University. It's the medical/medical professions school on the campus of Bethesda Naval Hospital. All of the students are in the armed forces from Army Medics studying to be LPNs to PhDs in immunology and virology to Nurse Practitioners and MDs.

[Editor's note- Hi, Navy Nurse! You are very cool for assuming the best in this case. However, this cake was found on a table at a big box store with other patriotic and USA cakes on May 28th, 2011, which was just before Memorial Day. So, ya know, probably a wreck. Have an awesome day and thanks for your service! -john]

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA Navy Nurse

What on Earth is that yellow thing supposed to be?

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDis Fan

Lol! Thank you so much, this is my favorite post yet!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJimmie

Seriously - "USU?" It's only three letters! How do you mess that up?

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Thanks to all who serve and defend our right to eat wrecky cakes :D

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I looked at the "Best Crème" one for ten minutes before I figured out that it was supposed to be an eagle, and not a flower with a banana stuck through it. Nice job, Wreckerators.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

That rooster one isn't som bad. Oh, it's supposed to be an eagle? Never mind then

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Thanks for the burst of patriotic cakedom.
Today is my birthday and I can't decide if I'd rather have cake #3 with the minimalist flag or the over-the-top ten-tons-of-sugar on that Eagle cake. Maybe I'll just stick with homemade strawberry shortcake for my "cake" tonight.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

So glad they used their Best Creme- it is a holiday, after all!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Laughed till we cried! (We must rember this one come 4th of July in the good ol' USU).

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaloofah

1: Take the "W" from "We" and turn it upside-down to use as an "M." (Yeah, it's a cap, and will look weird, but not AS weird.)
2:Put the "e" next to the "W".
3:Now just take the left-over "ember" and tack it on at the end of the "Rem."
(You get "RemeMber".)

4: Tah.
5: Dah.


May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

U Gotta be kidding me S A.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Gee, a plethora of Mogen David in the place of the usual pentacles! Is this a cake for a Jewish-American Princess?
Do you think the cookie is for a Memorial Day graduation from Utah State University?
At first I had trouble with the blue eyed bald eagle - but if you think of the yellow as dark chocolate, it would not be all that bad.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Oopsie~ I forgot to put in my "critique" that my little "tutorial" was meant for the "rember" cake... It SHOULD be obvious, and go without saying, but since when have THOSE sorts of concepts been a "given"??
I often wonder if (actually, it's more like "hope that") these folks are doing it deliberately, just to gain the Wrecktoriety.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

#8. And how do you know it's not for the University of South Utah?

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWill

#7 is the ButtDog of cakes.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The Eagle (Old Blue-eyed Banana-nose) just makes me SAD (and on a holiday, too)! He looks like a dog holding a leash in its mouth, pitifully hoping that someone will take it out for a walk. Sadder still: it's just a HEAD, so a walk is off the table right at the outset.
This holiday is sucking for me, so far.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

How. The Heck. Do you misspell U.S.A.?

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

I have to admit, I kind of like #6. It's like an abstract painting of a sunflower over a field of wheat with a lovely blue sky.
Hey I did say abstract.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

I rember learning in civics class that cake number 2 is served at the White House whenever Israeli officials visit, just as cake number 4 is presented when the French visit (see the beret?) Number 7 (which shows the Mid-Atlantic coast flipping the bird,) is served to officials of whatever country is pissing us off at any given time.
@Karen - I didn't see an eagle (or a rooster) and I didn't even try to figure it out. I'd thank you, but I liked it better when I couldn't see a "bird."

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Well, at least the wreckerator had nice handwriting on that last one. I'm sure their third grade teacher would be proud.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTeacher

Am I the only one who actually sang this entire post in their head? Yes? Okay. I'll go back to my corner now.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFaith.TheBlonde.

Great post, Jen! My daughter was inspired to sing along. Got me teary-eyed. (I made sure my kids know why we have a Memorial Day. They shake hands with, & thank, every service person they meet.) We enjoyed yesterday's Sunday Sweets, too. It was a great way to explain about all the branches of the military & the Coast Guard. But when we got to the Marines & I explained how they were supposed to be the best & the toughest to get into, she said "But what about the Seals? Aren't THEY the toughest?!" I then had to explain about military teams & units vs branches... (She's a big fan of Hawaii Five-O & it's starting to show...)

Anyway, about that dog cake....That patriotic dog looks! :-(

And Eileen hit it right on the nose - That 'eagle' cake looks like a huge daisy on top of a bunch of frilly bananas! (Or maybe on top a bunch of star fruit...)

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

PS to sendingintheclowns - Sorry your holiday is sucky. :-( Sending hugs and caring thoughts your way....((((HUGSHUGSHUGSHUGS)))))

Wanna talk about it? We're here for you, ya know...


Karate Lady

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I am a little proud that I recognized cake #6 as an eagle straight-away. Must be all these years of practice straining to make sense of frosting blobs and streaks here. (Context is helpful as well)

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatLady

"How. The Heck. Do you misspell U.S.A.?" akathleen
Apparently, it's easier than we'd like to think. It could be an "English-as-a-second/third/other-language" thing, or an "I don't get PAID to look things UP" thing, or a "Looks GREAT to ME" thing, or an "I don't GIVE a flying-- " er...ANYway...(Take your pick, y'know?)
I WANT to think that they do this deliberately to get ON Cake Wrecks. Sadly, I know better.
Whoa!! WHAT am I SAYing?? If people weren't Wrecking, we wouldn't be having all of this FUN!
Carry on, Wreckorators!!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Faith.TheBlonde: save room in the corner for me. I(another blonde) also sang through the whole thing. If I tried to speak, I could only stutter in amazement at the ridiculousness if these messes.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@ SuBee: So, "Number 7 shows the Mid-Atlantic coast flipping the bird" ,huh?
Well! A comment like that is Pretty Darn Unpatriotic, and--Oh, who am I kidding? It was freekyng HIlarious, and one might even go as far as to say that maybe the East coast of that cake looks a little, erm...aroused?
Maybe it has a crush on the little French map across the pond, m'ais oui*?


*not sure if that's the right phrase, but I only took Freshman and Sophomore (H.S.) French, and never got NEAR the Madamoiselle's "You-need-to-be-able-to even-THINK-in -French!" ideal.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I rather like the one with the six-pointed stars in the canton. It's done neatly enough that it might be a political statement. Or the baker might have had the stars left over from Hannukah. Who knows?

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine Raymond

I'm embarrassed to admit that I was (of course) not only singing along in my head, but I actually made it halfway through counting the stars on #2 before I noticed that they had too many points. Although I did spot the eagle almost immediately (or what purports to be an eagle, obviously) so at least I make up there what I lose by not seeing the stars. I think?

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

@ Will:
"And how do you know it's not for the University of South Utah?"

Huh. Maybe because there IS no "South Utah"??? There can always be a "Southern" ANYthing, but not always a "South" anywhere, At least, that's the direction my mind is going in...

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns


Oh! You're SO sweet!! ((HUGS)) No, it's really nothing, and I'm just being a baby...I was supposed to go w/ my sister & bro-in-law to see a brand new granite Civil War memorial thingy in the city park, and a parade, but now we're not because something else came up for them. Anyhoo, I'm over it!
It's a GORGEOUS day and I'm going to revel in it--winters are monstrous around here and I'm just so happy that it's MAY!!!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That's not a jellyfish! It's a Wookiee....Bluebacca the Wookiee.
I am not making this up.


May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Yeah, I counted the stars on #2, going "well, at least it's 50" and then read the comments and went back. I guess they had left over Hanukkah stars?

USU stands for Utah State University, but our colors are White and blue (no red). So it's a wreck either way.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJomomma

USU or Utah State University's colors are Blue and White. Our in-state rivals are BYU and Utah. Utah's colors are Red and White. No self respecting Aggie would buy a cake or cookie with USU written in red. That's just wrong!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPhyllisa

I see the eagle (?) now that you told me what it s. these cakes make me proud to be an American Veteran. I feel so honored

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

I LOVE how Cake #7 has half of the eastern USA (or is it USU??) belonging to Canada! Loving your blog for over a year now, 1st time posting, keep up the great work!!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCanadian K

#8. And how do you know it's not for the University of South Utah?

Because it's SUU - Southern Utah University

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPhyllisa

A salute to those who served our country so that substandard public education can continue. LOL!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlinda

Thanks for the laugh!!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermlt

At first when I saw the (*scrolling back up and counting*) 6th cake, I said to myself, "Wait, how is this a wreck? That looks like a beautifully executed bunch of bananas and chrysanthemum tied with a ribbon... wait... why is the ribbon going under one of the bananas? OH-- IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE AN EAGLE???!!"

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwaffre

Thank goodness the HypnoEagle is made from the Best Creme. I'd hate to think what it would look like if it was made out of Good Enough Creme.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I misread the original "patriotic" (in regard to the so-called dog) as the more appropriate "pathetic"...

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrushingtoread

I love how that eagle cake says best creme on it.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDes

Love the red striped blob that is supposed to be the shape of our country. Epic fail!

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterReets

I'm struggling to understand what a a dead, blue Wookie (#1) has to do with Memorial Day...just sayin'.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOld Crone

That poor little blue doggie...he has pooped all around the board, he has cataracts, black nose syndrome and has pulled I do not know what out of the garbage and is chewing on it....maybe that is why he pooped all over....

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJerry aka grandmajer

As the mom of a Marine Corps officer and veteran of two tours in Iraq, I am not one to take Memorial Day lightly. But I have to say that I had to shake my head in amazement at today's platoon of wrecks. Our lives as Americans are defined not just by our greatness, but by our absurdities as well. Thanks for reminding us of that, and thank you for giving me something to laugh at Every. Single. Day.

May 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusanM

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